September 21st, 2017


Book Review: Leia Princess Of Alderaan

Star Wars: Leia Princess Of Alderaan by Claudia Gray
From the author of ‘Lost Stars’ and ‘Bloodline’ comes this inept boring tale that endeavours to tell how 16 year old Leia got her rebellious defiance. Her adoptive parents are awful and have a fervent belief in their own righteousness and moral codes and moral leadership. They have arrogant distain with no hint of explanation or apology for their dumb actions.

We see where Leia got her self-congratulatory streak. She signals rebellion by being annoying. Various annoying characters run around. I quickly rescinded all interest in this and fail to see how Leia endeared herself to all or why she joined the rebellion on an aspirational whim.

Best Line:
“These are the things the Empire can never take away.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Law & Order: True Crime’ trailer
This covers the 1989 Menendez murders. Edie Falco is in this with bad hair. There is no dose of fairness or calmness.

Best Line:
“The what matters less than the why.”

‘Arrow’ season 6 promo
There is growling, Oliver’s son and Black Siren. Oh shut up Oliver - you have no quiet menace.

‘Arrow’ season 6 promo

‘Needful Things’ (1993) trailer
Okay trailer, bad movie.

‘Drop Dead Weird’ promo

‘Electric Dreams’ promo
I don’t care about the Impossible Planet.

Gluten and wheat free all butter Quadruple Belgian chocolate cookies - okay.

Recall ‘In Your Dreams’?

I may review ‘George Michael: Freedom’.

There is to be a ‘True Lives’ TV show?

The ‘Star Trek Discovery’ episode titles sound WTF but they are doing a mirror universe ep.

I won’t review ‘Colony’ 2x12 ‘Seppuku’.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Foetal programming.”

“Raising the bar for what satisfies them.”

“Sanity saver.”

“Attention economy.”

‘Channel 4 News’ Quotes:
“Uncompromising sounding messages.”

“Exporting death and destruction.”

“Struggling for relevance.”

“I don’t feel any love.”

“Dawning age of impunity.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Wall liquorice.”

“Shut up idiot!”

“Out of disrespect.”

“Nothing they won’t keep exploiting until it’s worthless.”

‘The New York Times International’ Quotes:
“The value of agreed-upon limits,”

“Devil’s venom.”

“Culture of restraint.”

“You don’t own the room.”

“Rich-people preparations for the apocalypse,”

“Disrupting categorization.”

“A political show from the ‘80s.”

“The best way you can alienate a community is by denying them their reflection in society.”

“Reject the gender spectrum altogether.”

“No gallery representation at all.”

“Institutions of legitimacy and power.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Weren’t medal potential.”

“Whose every word was a  BBC soundbite, and who could do no wrong.”

“Decent families moved out of the area.”

'Neighbours' Quote:
“Kind sensitive men. Not that you appreciate that.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Adam leaves Maxine for Darcy. Jesse’s upset, Maxine’s vengeful and Darcy murdered Adam, Jesse and Grace’s mother in wholly characteristic fashion. Will Liam return? Scott and his pathological jealously is revealed as creeper stalker.
To Light The Way To Bed

Reign 4x15 + Mr Mercedes (2017) 1x01 Reviewed

Blood In The Water
Leeza shows up to annoy. Why are there men in Mary’s delivery room? Why is Bothwell allowed to touch the Queen as she is in labour? Leeza goes on about being on holiday. Henri has no moral capital. Nicole wears a ruff. Tattle-tale Greer is a bimbo. Darnley is crazy and sick with syphilis. The acting is terrible and the plot even worse.

Bothwell has a protective rage. Luc and Claude rant. Claude is selfish. Greer is a midwife during Mary’s labour. Oh come on! The evil maid simpers. She’ll soon pay for her treachery. Narcisse plots. Shouldn’t Lady Lennox be in the Tower Of London and not mincing around Scotland?

Mary has a son. She still has no sense. Francis Drake shows up. Darnley rants. Claude weeps cos Leith is marrying another - oh boo hoo you whore! There is foreshadowing of the Spanish Armada. Narcisse bores and plots. Mary writes to Elizabeth gloating about her son. Catherine tries to plot. Charles is angry. Catherine asks a witch for a favour. Where did all the pagans go?

The conniving servant is busted. There is no old world elegance. Elizabeth has no mysterious self-containment. Mary’s proprietorial notions and direct assertions lead to trouble. Darnley kidnaps his son. When will he be severely dealt with? The plot is ill-defined. Darnley was not a cruel drunk just a madman with syphilis - so shouldn’t Mary and their son have caught it from him?

Where are the forthcoming measures? Seasons 3&4 have been less radiant. Mary is predisposed to disdainful arrogance and ill-defined motivations. The final ep is not anticipated fearfully. Mary is unable to function effectively on a personal level. There is no credible narrative just pathological jealously. Narcisse is no intimidator. This was terrible in every way.

Best Lines:
“Gossip can be dangerous.”

“Please be decent.”

“Her wanton adultery.”

“Hide any semblance of British emblems.”

In 2009, people queue at 5am for a job fair. Who has a baby with croup outside at night? This inept show is based on the inept Stephen King novel. This is all existential bleakness. There is no controlled determined acting. This attempts to show the toxicity of society or something.

A Mercedes shows up at the job fair and rams into the crowd killing 16 people and injuring many more. 2 years pass. This ep and this show have no tremendous potential. A detective has a tortoise and an accent that slips. Some obvious nutter headbangs to a song about a pet cemetery. He has a surly unpleasant co-worker.

The hero has physical and emotional inertia - does he have a name? The nutter messages the detective hero - why? Why does the hero watch the nutter’s message and not delete it as spam? The nutter is one of those omnipotent, all powerful nutters like Jack of All Trades on ‘Profiler’. I won’t bother with any more of this show. The hero hangs out with Jerome, the guy who mows his lawn.

The nutter has a vile slob mother. Why does the hero not tell anyone the nutter is communicating with him? Brady is the nutter. The hero is played by Brendan Gleeson. Kelly Lynch is in here someone. No to this, it is not bizarrely entrancing.

Best Lines:
“I buy half my groceries with your empty beer bottles.”

“Beside that being your normal personality.”
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