September 19th, 2017

Illya K

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

'Within’ (2016) trailer
This Michael Vartan horror sees him and his family move into a creepy house. There is collective frustration at the supernatural proof father. There is slyness.

‘Leap!’ promo
No, am dismissive.

Home Again’ promo
This seems to be the premise of a slasher movie not a romcom. What unmet need is met by this?

‘Early Man’ promo

‘Tonight She Comes’ trailer
This looks like a bad joke.

‘The Family’ trailer
A boy goes missing. 10 years later, he’s back. Or is he? Joan Allen and Rubert Graves star. I’ll give this a go.

Anyone see ‘Slumdog Millionaire‘ (2008), ‘Stay Hungry‘ (1976),‘The Longest Yard’ (2005), ‘Big Night’ (1996), ’The Last Picture Show’ (1971), ’K-19: The Widowmaker’, ’Along Came Polly’ (2004) or ‘Brighton Rock’ (2010)?

I really liked the ‘Twin Peaks’ OST.

I never liked ‘Curb our Enthusiasm’ or ‘Law & Order: Trial By Jury’ or ‘Dirt’.

I will review ‘The Family’, ‘Law & Order: True Crime’, ‘Fear In A Handful of Dust’, ‘Paperbacks From Hell’, ‘Phoenix Forgotten’, ‘Patterns of Interference’ and ‘The Spawn of Lilith’.

I won’t bother with ‘Damien’.

Recall WKD Blue?

There are nose waxes?

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Spectacles that suggested they could read.”

“Those terrible times.”

“The environment we created for her.”


“Dark sexual meanings.”

“Messianic determination.”

“Do good things very well.”

“He once stole his grandmother’s pension.”

“Opportunities lost through drugs.”

“Suing him for loss of conjugal rights.”

“Received opinion.”


“Really, really commit to a role.”

“Sibling betrayal.”

“Make peace with your life choices and create your own happiness.”

“Arrange the last act of their lives.”

“Shagging in a bush.”

“Disliked trains, having once been accosted on one,”

“Losing the lifestyle they have.”

“Gallivanting off in her tops.”

“Depthlessy self-pitying.”

“Auteur-driven shows.”

“Even the art of ladder-making went into a precipitate decline.”

“Pre-existing critique.”

“Adornment for narrative.”

“So confident of winning.”

‘Strike - The Silkworm’ Quotes:
“Called my efforts lamentably derivative. No doubt correctly.”

“Mountains of dreck.”

“Writing hate.”

“Rejected your love.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Alarmingly interventionist.”

“Not beyond reason.”

Upstart Crow’ Quotes:
“Satanic heresy.”

“Current crazed harridan.”

“Historical crap.”

“Foreswore the company of women.”

“Cod dangle.”

“Obscure blank verse.”

“Scaredy sludge.”

“Tufted lady grotto.”

“Villain, I have done thy mother!”

‘Girls’ Quote:
“I’ve never seen him outside his house. I’ve never seen him with a shirt on.”
Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: Pain & Gain + Risk + 4 others

Pain & Gain (2013)
In 1994/1995 Miami, sh-t went down due to 3 inept violent idiot thieves/murderers. This is a very good, blackly comic rant on the American dream. Danny (Mark Wahlberg) decides it is much more logical to become a criminal than earn a legal living. He has envy, jealously and wrath so recruits a dumb shill and a loudmouthed opportunist (Anthony Mackie) to be his accomplices for his aspirational grand narrative.

There is slow-motion, bare flesh and ignorance is widely celebrated. These brawl magnets are not coldly brilliant. The trio shout and flail at one another during the barking mad plot. They make fanciful promises and Paul (Dwayne Johnson) does a lot of cocaine. These are very dumb people and the obligatory wife (Rebel Wilson) and girlfriend fail to notice. Their standards are less than exacting obviously.

The trio are searching out better and more. Unspiritual things happen as they are inept. That is their besetting sin. That and being stupid and immoral and plain dumb. The police have justified complacency. There is no moral control as their first victim (Tony Shalhoub) is tormented, robbed and nearly killed. Paul becomes drug torn, Danny has forcefulness and the police dismiss their fist victim as a degenerate who went on a bender. Then they move onto their 2nd set of victims and things get even more violent and unpleasant. Luckily a PI (Ed Harris) will save the day. This was very good and unbelievably, it is all true.

Best Lines:
“Unfortunately, this is a true story.”

“You know who invented salad? Poor people.”

“Another 40 years of wearing sweatpants to work.”

“Free membership for strippers.”

“Stage a diversionary fistfight.”

“Rekill me.”

“Beaten with sex toys.”

“Doing so awesome.”

“You smell like a Cuban stripper.”

“Sirens coming for you.”

“I didn’t have any warrants in Florida.”


“That’s so illegal.”

“Physically hurt.”

“Human extraction.”

“A lot of homo stuff.”

“I want you not to have it.”

“He’s crying.”
“That’s okay, he’ll stop.”

“Overseas in Europe, saving elephants.”

“The evil ninja weightlifters.”

“Some large men.”

“Delusional alcoholism.”

“Well, this plan didn’t work.”

“You are a very difficult victim.”

Risk (2016)
This scrappy documentary about wikileaks seems pointless. It shows the emotional disaffection, infuriating smugness and unseemly revelry of one Julian Assange. The documentary maker annoys as she inserts herself into the story while documenting Assange’s staggering level of self-absorption and how he is so powerfully detestable in his ranting about ideological dogma.

This was purposeless. The documentary maker whines about surreptitious surveillance. There is no winning honesty. I don’t care about the documentary maker or her attempts to assert or opine. Watching this is a numbing process as the patently detestable Assange spews his toxic venom. This has a depressing sense of emptiness and non-achievement. Assange is arrogant, rude and ignores the unwarranted consequences of his acts.

Assange is testy about his moral debt. Some dude goes on and on and on about Twitter. People fawn over Assange and act like a cult. This was all utter worthlessness. Assange is repellent. The documentary maker seems to think she and this documentary are significant. Everyone films and records everybody else. Assange has a mortifying inability to self-excoriate.

Assange is platitudinous and has no sober prudence and doesn’t live up to his social image. This pushes the bounds of coherence. Assange has paranoia and gender perceptions and arch ostentation. This covers years and in one scene Assange is in Norfolk and in other Assange claims asylum in an embassy and in another Trump is elected POTUS. The documentary maker helped him break the law. Lady Gaga shows up, Assange is snotty, Snowdon is fleetingly seen and there is talk of misconduct and the 2016 election. I really didn’t care.

Best Lines:
“Severe threat to my freedom.”

“Create maximum ambiguity.”

“I don’t think that’s helpful to you.”

“She’s a bad woman.”

“Unsafe computing.”

“Threat model.”

“All of the London media, who hate us.”

Stepford Wives (2002)

Notting Hill (1999)

King Hearts And Coronets (1949)
I didn’t like it.

Volcano (1997)
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Girls 1x08-1x10 Reviewed

Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too
What is cinnamon raisin swirl peanut butter? Adam and Hannah hang out. There is no ever increasing interest. Adam’s ears are mocked. This is not emotion laden. Marnie mopes over Charlie. These are very dumb people. Adam jogs shirtless and musters every drop of weirdness he can muster. There is no unexpected pathos. Marnie had deadpan distain for Charlie. Hannah has oppressive feelings of unhappiness, blank misery and inept desperation.

Jessa and Marnie are incapable of enjoying any place or person without instantly expressing hatred for it or them. Marnie’s selfishness is not to be contemplated without horror. Hannah is incapable of dispelling fuss or thwarting attention. Why did this show get so much attention? Marnie and Jessa bitch about Hannah. Adam gets in the shower with Hannah and pees. This was okay even if Chris O’Dowd showed up.

Best Lines:

“I don’t do ice-cream, it’s like sweet mucus.”

“I’m not even wearing any underwear. Where would I put cash?”

“Yo, skank. Where you at?”

“You’re still doing it! Stop it!”

Leave Me Alone
Hannah meets a successful former college classmate and a former college lecturer. Marnie is awful. Adam acts with aggression. This essentially bores. Jessa avoids saying anything striking or memorable. Why is Adam so violently confrontational? He’s not agreeably mad just simmering with rage and full of uncontested dissent. There is mumbling and Marnie is sick of Hannah. So she and Hannah fight.

Best Lines:
“Does that not give me, like, one night off from talking about you and your problems?”

“Adam says you are teetering on the edge of psychotic misery.”

She Did
Adam drags Marnie’s stuff down the stairs as she moves out. I didn’t hear her say thanks. Hannah’s been chasing Adam and now she doesn’t want him. His hair has grown. Jessa marries Thomas-John (Chris O’Dowd), the guy she just met in 1x09. Nobody has a moral objection. Hannah hurts Adam emotionally as is her wont.

He has persistent aggression. Hannah can’t mange anything with dignity. Adam has ungovernable rage. This show has no significant strategic purpose. Adam is hit by a car. He, quite sensibly, won’t let Hannah in the ambulance. This was really bad. Hannah is objectionable and has a maddening belief in herself. Hannah is blatantly psychotic. I don’t care to see the rest of this show or the huge, unforeseen consequences of this ep.

Best Line:
“Don’t let her in here. She’s a monster.”
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Scary Books

Book Reviews: S.T.A.G.S + Deluge

S.T.A.G.S by M.A. Bennett
An ancient boarding school is populated by pupils who have unearned advantages and who may be brutal psychopaths. 3 misfit pupils are invited to a huntin’, shootin’, fishin’ weekend only to find out that they are they pry. Cue coldly furious over smiling creeps, a comparatively impractical murder plot, toxic stress and rich wankers terrifying in their certainty who wish to deliberately and gleefully eradicate the lower orders.

The rich kids who are unsettlingly convincing see technology and progress as a cultural catastrophe. So they will deal out injurious violence along their path of darkness. On this weekend, madness happens. There will be violent and threatening language, gadsome ways, inappropriate loyalty and an irreversible impact as dumb narcissistic dimwits who are irrepressibly sleazy and have scary anger issues have nefarious intent toward the unwanted 3 misfits.

The 3 misfit heroes are immodestly pathetic and things come to the inevitable conclusion. Naturally there is a twist that leaves the heroes with a certain dread. This has readability and is very good but the constant movie references grate.

Deluge by Richard Doyle
This 1976 novel written pre Thames barrier has a striking cover and depicts London flooded by a storm surge. People die and a man has to save his wife from a submerged tube station. This was good and memorable. Doyle apparently published an updated version called ‘Flood’ in 2007.
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