August 13th, 2017


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Ghoul’ trailer
This UK horror may be about zombies or magic or not. Looks weird and interesting.

‘Logan Lucky’ TV spot

‘Celebs Go Dating’ promo

‘Enchantanimals’ ad

‘Mother’ trailer

‘Patti Cake$’ trailer

‘Detroit’ trailer

Peach nectarine flavoured sparkling water - okay.

I will review ‘Death du Jour’, ‘American Heiress’, ’The Grass Crown’, ’Fortune’s Favourites’, ’Caesar’s Women’, ’Caesar’ and ‘The October House’.

I won’t read ‘The Last Tudor‘, ‘Julia Vanishes’ or ‘The Mountain Of Kept Memory’.

Recall ‘Party Of Five’?

‘The Dark Half’ was not a good book.

What are brown heirloom tomatoes?

Anyone see ‘Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood’ (1996)? Or ‘Troll 2’ (1990)?

Saw some of the ‘Marple’ ep ‘By The Pricking Of My Thumbs’ in which Marple is stuck into a non-Marple tale. There is no sentimental energy and a good novel of timeless malignity in desolate ground is ruined. A nursing home is called Sunny Ridge; it is nothing of the sort. This was all deadly seriousness and various name actors like Michelle Ryan and Charles Dance prance around. Tuppence couldn’t charm a vulture off a corpse. Who is the chief naughty? Check the guest stars and pick the obvious name.

Best Lines:
“Not supposed to say Kenya anymore.”

“Someone to be kind to.”

“Look to the painting and for god’s sake use your intelligence.”

“Have you been drinking again mother?”

“Pearl of paranoia.”

“The coca’s being poisoned and the cleaner is trying to steal their purse.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I’m going to break into your house and shoot you.”

“I don’t love my family. I know I’m supposed to.”

“Love being in the victim role.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Rain of ruin.”

“Refused to express regret.”

“Drawn himself a redline he is obliged to act on.”

“It’s what they draw and who comes in to visit them.”

“Regime survival.”


“Regime-ending moment.”

“Likes its women scandal-free and neutral.”

“Socially deaf.”

“Snatch squads.”

“Make sure you write down it’s a woman who said that.”

“People who (quite sensibly) hate the countryside.”

“It is a biological reaction.”

“Still felt some shame about his existence.”

“Play the sort of people who have those books.”

“Academic heretics.”

“Smelly hipsters.”

“All tourists are bastards.”

“Gangs of aggressive young women.”

“Biological elements.”

‘RTE News’ Quotes:
“Social supports.”

“A load of nonsense.”

“Exchange of threats.”

“Bereft of reason.”

‘Hollyoaks’ Quotes:
“My cousin killed 6 people.”

“Only so many empty rooms I can fake interest in.”

“Doesn’t do complex emotional situations very well.”

“Follow the trail of gin.”

“Get off my son!”

“I want you gone.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“In a way that retains his credibility.”

“Another ominous warning.”

“Birth is not like that.”

“Birthing experience.”

“Reckless and irresponsible.”

“You have to have a credible threat.”

“Beyond levels of safety.”

“Has negative connotations.”

“Ill-disposed president.”

“A hostile relationship.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:

“Lack any form of officially recognised identification.”

“Cognitive liberty.”

“Bought his own small moor.”

“A tyranny of tablecloths.”

“As soon as you see a polished boardroom table, you know someone will be soon be thrown along it.”

‘Law & Order: SVU’ Quotes:
“If they decide something criminal has transpired.”
“Which they won’t.”

“She told you this explicitly.”

“Official misconduct.”

“Criminal liability.”

“Political over-reach.”

“Paid like civil servants.”

“How could I?”
“How could you not?”

‘3 News’ Quote:
“Your defence should have defended you.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Face Of Time + The First Man In Rome + Now I Rise + Antony & Cleopatra

The Face Of Time by Camille Bacon-Smith
A tale of rural horror that has no mystery or menace and everyone is a total ass. Did Not Finish bad.

The First Man In Rome by Colleen McCullough
This unsatisfactory 1990 doorstopper is the turgid first book in the ‘Masters Of Rome’ saga. Gaius Marius and Sulla rise to power in 110BC. There is exposition, people make speeches, there is sex and loads and loads of characters. There is personal ill-will, temerity and no lasting consequences. The characters are all singularly unpleasant. You don’t care about them as this was badly written and full of modern slang and winking attributes.

Best Lines:
“What she wanted had no validity.”

“You will treat him with unfailing deference, respect, interest, and concern.”

“Would have been appalled if she had moaned in ecstasy or thrown herself around in the bed as if she enjoyed herself in the manner of a mistress. All she was obliged to do, she did in the manner her wifehood dictated - flat on her back, no fancy hip work,”

“Tended to manipulate his divine great-uncle’s human thoughts and deeds to suit his own ends.”

“Drunk in large quantities by the lowly.”

“Whatever else women do.”

“Not even decently born!”

Now I Rise by Kiersten White
The sequel to ‘And I Darken’ is not as dark and enthralling as Book 1. It is really very boring. Lada is at her gloomiest as she chases her throne while being incredibly miserable. She doesn’t handle things terribly well and has appalling ideas and makes great mistakes and starts big trouble with sheer bloody determination.

Her brother Radu is bitterly unhappy and is focused only on making Mehmed happy and berating people who point out that Mehmed is obviously manipulating him. Radu is a dumb fool and is morally responsible for tragedy. Radu is discordant and demonstrably awful.

Mehmd strides theatrically and manipulates Radu’s unshakeable allegiance. He is not sincere in his emotions as he furtively schemes. This book was relentlessly ho-hum mega-dross. It created no effective dread just endless recriminations and no rational behaviour.

Best Line:
“Do nothing but be born to power he could not wield.”

Antony & Cleopatra by Colleen McCullough
This 2007 novel is badly written whilst being wildly over-written. It tells of Cleopatra, Mark Antony, Octavian and Caesarion. Years pass, there is exposition, death and this was dull.

Best Line:
“You’re a disgrace as a wife and a woman,”

Movie Review: Atomic Blonde (2017)

In 1989 Berlin Charlize Theron kicks ass and spies. There is sex, violence, swearing, more violence, death and a Sinead O’Connor joke. This was all brash sensation that sees people sent to gory oblivion. This has anachronistic fashions and technology but no internal logic or impressive bleakness.

Theron has unquenchable will and no moral status. This was okay and sees actors exchanging hostile rhetoric and exploiting petty grievances. But it is inarguable that this film causes an overriding sense of futility due to naff twists. Too much of this was frustrating and turgid.

Best Line:
“Very angry bastards.”
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Sergio Balleseros

Into The Badlands 2x01&2x02 + Riverdale (2017-?) 1x01 Reviewed

Tiger Pushes Mountain
6 months after the end of season 1 Sunny works as slave labour while the song Human plays. There is no civility and this show is bafflingly obtuse. Sunny is entirely unhelpful to himself. Nick Frost has joined the cast, groan. He plays a loud fat idiot, no change there. MK isn’t purposeful. People make vague utterances meant to pique our interest. There are no interesting characters or coherent plot.

There is social denigration, this is the way things have always been and always will be. Why is an enslaved Nick Frost fat? Ryder the poor man’s James Franco rants. There are cars but no road upkeep. There is evil eye make-up and fighting. Jade is Ryder’s Baroness. The Widow lurks and has unquenchable hate. Jade runs from the Widow in blue glitter heels - who made them? Blood flies.

Low women brawl. WTF is the ring Nick Frost found? The Widow has the taint of strumpet about her. How does she have a glasshouse and a photo? Quinn lives, but that is obvious as his name is in the opening credits. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“This one’s defective.”

“Pissing in undesignated areas.”

“The storm that is coming.”

Force Of Eagle’s Claws
Is Sunny on a redemption arc? I wasn’t interested in this ep as nothing is handled terribly well. Stephen Lang and Lance Henriksen guest star. Sunny is irate and has enmity. It’s amazing how much post-apoc America looks like rural Ireland. A poor dove is waved around by Lang.

Who maintains the razor cut hairstyle of the Widow’s chief clipper? Lang is very tanned. The former Baroness lives in her dad’s hippie cult. There are geese and the cult is attacked. She defends them and the cult is thankless. MK rants. One is weary of this. Quinn rants. The ex-Baroness goes to Ryder who tantrums. Wasn’t Quinn dying? Did he walk it off?

Quinn appears to wear a bathmat in one scene. WTF is the Foundation Treaty? Where do they get make up, glass decanters and alcohol? Who built the enormous wall and why?

Best Lines:
“Nice try Tinkerbell.”

“Winks lickers.”

“Stick to punching people.”

The River’s Edge
This was based on the ‘Archie’ comics where the 50s never seemed to have ended. The annoying boring emo Jughead narrates. Twins Jason and Cheryl Blossom went for an incest themed boat ride and now he is missing believed dead. This was beautifully shot. Cheryl gets more repulsive with every scene. Who is Jughead narrating to?

Veronica Lodge and her pearls comes to town. Jughead is all frustration and anger. This was wonderfully weird. Betty’s mom (Madchen Amick of ‘Twin Peaks’) is inarguably awful and emotionally abusive. Moose lurks. Nobody seems to have curtains. Betty likes the bland Archie but he doesn’t love her. What was the Blossom twins’ sinister experience in the woods?

Archie wants to be a musician. His dad is played by Luke Perry. Archie’s dad is more interesting than his bland whiner son. TPTB overvalue Archie. Veronica kinda sorta steals Archie from Betty. This was properly disturbing. Betty is on pills and her mom is the worst. Jughead broods. Jason’s rotting corpse interrupts Kevin’s hook-up with Moose in the woods.

Veronica’s mom (Marisol Nichols) needs a job. Josie and the Pussycats sing. Cheryl is an annoying bully. Archie is doing a teacher. The title card is nice. Lochlyn Monro is in this somewhere. Veronica and Betty join Cheryl’s cheerleading squad. Oddly Cheryl doesn’t seem overly distraught about Jason. There are secrets and lies. Cheryl should be the most despised person in the school but she isn’t. This is okay propulsive narration but the dialogue is clunky.

Best Lines:
“Teen Outlander.”

“Ho zone.”

“That we did.”

“Read my glossed lips.”

“Hipster Prince Harry.”

“Safe, decent, innocent.”

“I hope in those last moments, he suffered.”

“Archie got abs.”

“Tap some cougar ass.”