July 4th, 2017

Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes and musings on the Misty 1979 annual

‘GLOW’ opening credits
So 80s, I wanna see this.

‘How To Lose Friends & Alienate People’ (2008) promo

‘Top Of The Lake: China Girl’ promo

‘Poldark’ opening credits

‘The Windsors’ promo

Poor Sudan, the rhino.

I’d try Mexican Spiced Cheese.

I was thinking of reviewing ‘Trance’ (2013) but I won’t as I detest James McAvoy.

Anyone see the 2004 ‘Wimbledon’? Or the 1962 ‘What A Carve Up!’? Or the 1980 ‘American Gigolo’? Or the 1995 ‘Sudden Death’? Or the 1989 ‘Family Business’? Or the 1992 ‘Dr Giggles’? Or the 1995 ‘Money Train’ or the 1987 ‘Suspect’?

The Emerald waterfall necklace is lovely.

I’d try a liquid nitrogen-frozen milkshake.

‘Daredevil’ Quote:
“We never stopped to think that maybe his actions could open the door for men like this. Men, men with guns. Men who think the law belongs to them.”

‘Agents Of SHIELD’ Quotes:
“Agent May, I urge you to stop now.”

“Is that how it is now?”

“To that I take exception.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“All posh, pretentious bastards.”

“Tiresome old fart.”

“Found an ancient well, which they filled in.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Never realised her social ambitions.”

“Façade of cheerful enthusiasm.”


“Unless each shows greater respect for the other’s core interests than either has done thus far.”

“Military hegemony.”

“Anti-hippie glower.”

“She needs to be punished for making herself leavable, unlovable, disappointing.”


“Endless stupid meetings.”

“Plethora of superfluous executives.”

“Suffocating political correctness.”

“Dissembling careerist toerag.”

“Always at risk of being randomly shot.”

“Hermetically sealed society.”

“His friends even burnt his belongings in the courtyard of the college.”

“On certain festivals I wasn’t even allowed to speak.”

“Violent doormen, thuggish car clampers.”

“An arranged fistfight between the men to settle things.”

‘Natural World’ Quotes:
Survived the destruction of the rest of his species.”

“The very last male of his kind.”

“Last male on the planet.”

“Seriously primitive.”

“Capture team.”

“We have to go through the rectum.”

“Contact call.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“With a CNN logo for a head.”

“That seems like a threat.”

‘Plandail’ Quote:
“His will and God’s were one and the same.”

‘Irish Impendent’ Quotes:
“Does not bond with wider groups.”

“Never had a gang.”

“They are all awful people, all of them.”

“Hairbands, awful chicken-feather boas.”

“German porn from the 1970s.”

‘Poldark’ Quotes:
“Never to be rid of him.”

“Worst winter for 30 years.”

“Be that the light of god in your eyes?”

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“Any of this thought provoking?”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“No stranger to allegations being levelled at them.”

“Air defence identification zone.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Calmly vomited into a fireplace.”

“Apocalyptic state.”

“Kill list.”

“Under bombardment.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“So if the response to political alienation is to ignore it, that’s a recipe for more political alienation.”

“Pander to and promote the most basic instincts of people all you like, fine, create an appetite, but I warn you. You’ll have to keep feeding it.”

“Which the American took for a compliment.”

I read the 1979 ‘Misty’ annual. It was AWFUL. ‘The Swarm’ was a tiresome tale of locusts. ‘The School Of No Escape’ sees a new headmistress take over a school; this was so bad it forestalled all interest. ‘Blood Orange’ is tripe. ‘The Pony From The Moorland Mist’ sees villagers suspect a pony of evil intent. It had no dramatic nuance.

Where is the story of the evil dollhouse or the ballerina who falls to her death? Anyone recall the story of the not-ghost and her koala hair clips? ‘End Of The Pier’ sees a girl saved by a squid. ‘A Voice From The Past’ and ‘The Figure In The Fog’ are dull tales of ghosts. People in these stories are not exactly known for making wise choices.

Best Lines:
“Who’d go for a walk in a spooky place like Hangman’s Copse?”

“Away to your fields.”

“No good will come o‘that pony.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Jason Lives + 3 others

Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Tony Goldwyn is in this, Jason kills him as the lumbering killer returns. Girls play an interesting looking card game about Jason. This was okay and C.J. Graham of ‘Highway To Hell’ plays Jason. There are perms, bad acting and humour.

Best Lines:
“I’ve seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly!”

"All right scumbag."

"We're driving this baby back to town in reverse."

How To Murder A Millionaire (1990)
An okay Joan Rivers and Morgan Fairchild TV movie.

Return To Horror High (1987)
This George Clooney horror should be looked upon with distain.

Taboo (2002)
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Gotham 3x13 + The Handmaid’s Tale 1x06 Reviewed

Smile Like You Mean It
This was not a foundational text for the dark knight. Why does Bruce command such devotion from Alfred? Bruce is in stare mode. One has no anticipatory eagerness for this. Lee is not scarily taciturn. There are hidden motivations and violent ideations. Why does Jerome command the respect he does? Barbara has fevered discourse. Nobody has critical judgement. Selina’s mother takes a suspicious interest in her. Jerome and co aren’t menacing elements.

Tabitha plots. There are no reasonably minded people. This was beyond beyond beyond irritating. Penguin is ill-fated. Gordon has a coercive note and is deemed to have over-reached. Lee is ungrateful for what Gordon has bestowed on her, namely her life. Jerome comes back to life and ‘Face/Off’ is ripped off. Selina is disappointed by her mother. Jerome staples his face back on.

Best Lines:
“Collecting psychopaths.”

“Sucking air.”

“Thanks for helping the bad guys.”

“That need of chatter.”

“Raving lunatics and idiots.”

“The night of the awakening.”

“Do that disco vampire thing with your hair.”

A Woman’s Place
The Handmaids have to clean the Wall. WTF? A Mexican trade delegation visits. There are lots of water shots, cos symbolism. Gilead has a cause for shame. Serena Joy’s clothes are only blue/green. Who picked that colour? Serena Joy recalls her past with Fred. She saw the creation of Gilead as rapturous and ennobling.

Nick broods. The labyrinthine structure of Gilead baffles. Offred has pathological anxiety. The Mexican ambassador is a woman but she has no empathy for Offred. Serena Joy finds Gilead’s certainty suffocating now. Offred is questioned and tries to be humorously disdainful. Serena Joy is disillusioned. Gilead is comically dysfunctional. The Ambassador doesn’t care about Offred’s reluctance. Offred and the other handmaids are obviously not acting voluntarily.

Gilead has shifted to an organic agricultural model. Mexico and the rest of the world struggle with climate change. In the past Serena Joy wrote a book about domestic feminism. Now she can’t read or write by law. The Commander worries that in 6 months, Gilead’s economy could fall off a cliff. The Commander ignores his wife, once they were happy.

The Commander is a pathetic petty man. He loves his forcible conquest of Offred and America. The Handmaids aren’t sanctified. Serena Joy has distain for Aunt Lydia. As for Aunt Lydia, she can be amenable when she chooses. Girl excluder Serena Joy helps with the conscious fabrication that is Gilead. The Commanders of Gilead won’t listen to Serena Joy. The children of Gilead are displayed, the Handmaids are sad and one wonders how long has Gilead been in existence given the ages of those children. Offred learns that Gilead will trade Handmaids to Mexico.

What happened to all the reasonably good people? Did Serena Joy really think Gilead would be a collaborative venture between men and women? After the Gilead takeover clothes and books were left out in the trash. Clothes that weren’t black (for men), blue/green (for wives) and shoes and books (including Serena Joy’s) were binned. Whose house did Serena Joy and the Commander take over? Nick and the Marthas showed up pretty quickly. Nick was there from the start.

So much for self-abnegation as the Commander is ensconced as king turd of sh*t hill. Serena Joy misses the life unlived. This was very good. Offred rages and is irate. No-one listens. She learns Luke is alive from the Mexican ambassador’s assistant (Christian Barillas). Also New York State has been renamed. We will bear no more, indeed.

Best Lines:
“Curious about our lives here.”

“Speak wisely.”

“They issued the orders.”

“Congress is first. Than the White House. Then the Court.”

“We’re saving them. We’re doing God’s work.”

“A symbol of their sacred position.”

“God has blessed our new nation.”

“The quiet half of the room.”

“A society in which women can no longer read your book. Or anything else.”

“Reproduction as a moral imperative.”

“Please remove the damaged ones.”

“Let them forget their real purpose.”

“Restoring a healthy and moral way of life.”

“What are you going to trade us for?”

“My country is dying.”

Book Reviews: Hearts And Minds + Whispers From The Abyss 2, Part 1

Star Trek The Next Generation: Hearts And Minds by Dayton Ward
This bland and indistinctive novel is a follow on to the contrived ‘From History’s Shadow’ and the very good ‘Elusive Salvation’. This wearisome torrid melodrama shows how in the 2030s the forerunner to Section 31 has a fanatical hostility to aliens while dealing with dangerously knowing alien types prancing around. They do dark mutterings about malign influences.

Meanwhile in 2386, Captain Picard makes make what he thinks is first contact, unaware of the hatred his acts will unleash. Picard is hostile to Taurik and Admiral Akaar and is annoyingly smug and intensely annoying with his rapturous moralistic tone. I’m mostly uninterested in the emotionally glib Picard. Beverly Crusher only exists to be Picard’s helpmeet and cheer him on his menacing trajectory. Since she got together with Picard, her personality and plot lines are now non-existent. This book is disappointingly generic.

There is no dramatic incident. This has no poignancy and is not dark and complex. Picard is gleefully unpleasant, as well as stupid and confrontational. His grumpy huffs and tiresome exhibition of unhelpful ill-manners somehow do not put a dent in his incongruously cheery crew’s absolute personal loyalty. The ONLY point of interest in this book comes at the end when Picard learns his involvement in the moral quagmire of Section 31 has become public knowledge. He has growing unease that he will be reviled for his hypocrisy. This almost makes sitting through his spectacular tantrums worthwhile.

Picard manically rants about his moral code, utters predictable criticism of others and has a sneering disbelieving tone. One feels profound distaste for his dismissive and unpleasant impositions. Why is Picard so indivisible from the Enterprise? This novel fails badly and Picard’s delusional conviction in his moral stature is morally catastrophic.

Picard shows off incalculable lunacy, the alien race du jour is a tiresome priggish culture and are not universally complimentary of Picard. This had an authenticity gap as people project assumed narratives and have a taste for a fight. This was not gleefully lurid, just banal and full of exposition.

Creator’s pet T’Ryssa Chen needs to go, there are lots of references to old ‘Star Trek’ novels like ‘Strangers From The Sky’ also Geordi is still boring. This is a failed unwieldy attempt to tie together decades worth of ‘Star Trek’ stories.

Best Lines:
“That group is finally getting what’s been coming to them for a long, long time.”

“Submitting himself for penance.”

“Can I trust you?”
“You’ll have to convince me.”

Whispers From The Abyss 2 edited by Kat Rocha, Part 1

We Are Not These Bodies, Strung Between The Stars
The opaque writing and equally opaque plot are insurmountable. What was this about? I do not know.

His Carnivorous Regard
A good tale of a necronaut and cosmic regard. Trying to answer and unanswerable question leads to ruinous obsession.

Best Lines:
“That’s what people said when they were most definitely not fine.”

“To see is to be seen.”

The Labyrinth Of Sleep
People explore the dreamscape, blind to the consequences of their exploration of their exploration. The dream world has never been a cause of public concern but maybe it should have been. This was good.

Death May Die
A tomb raider raids the wrong tomb. His lack of regard for social norms costs him. This was mediocre.

The Knot
A creepy odd tale. Okay.

Daft and witless.

Red Americans
I loathed this.

Best Line:
“Sometimes urinating on them in some case of atavistic, primal rejection.”

Shadow Transit
A mother feels unaccustomed hope after visiting her special daughter. This is dull and incoherent with no clarity.

Baby Rhyme Time: Youngsters Enjoy Initiation At Innsmouth Public Library
An excellent tale of self-motivated mamas

Nyarlathotep’s Way
An excoriatingy bad tale of an encounter with the petty and cruel god.

Strident Caller
By Laird Barron. A gigolo attracts much hostility from cultists. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Wearing the scowl of an axe-murderer on vacation.”

“Straight out of salacious occult flicks of the North American hippie era-”

“Professional distain.”

Notebook Concerning The Class Struggle In Dunwich, Found In The Ruins Of A Construction Site
An SJW ignores all warnings and meets his doom. This was excellent and hilarious.

Best Line:
“They’ll see, the bastards.”