June 29th, 2017

Pretty Smart

Z Nation #3 Reviewed

The boat full of Soylent Z is still being fought over. It rains zombies. Aggressive and seething types fight unburdened by moral courage. There is violence and a zombie whale. This is an okay tale of self-fixated individualism.

Best Line:
“I’ve read a lot of Ayn Rand, you see.”
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Illya K

Trailers, Quotes and musings on issues 95-99 of Misty

‘The Box Trolls’ promo

‘Zoo’ promo

Honeycomb ice-cream - mmmm.
Gluten free Belgian triple chocolate chip cookie - dry.

I like Salvador Dali’s ‘The Persistence Of Memory’.

‘Lighthouse’ (1999) was a terrible movie.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
Ongoing public concern.”

“Virtually inaccessible.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Just to defy you.”

“What do you mean willing?”

“Getting in your own way.”

“Own where you are.”

“The ceiling falling in on him.”

“Everybody’s against him.”

“How your life’s working for you?”

“The methadone clinic which my mom is paying for.”

“Called me a bitch and hit me.”

“Please think about somebody else.”

“Have nothing I need.”

“Baked is marijuana.”

“I have nothing.”

“Threw a spoon.”

“Scammed a mentally disabled person out of 70 grand.”

“Stages of readiness for change.”

“Could have been smelling me.”

“Chased him out of the house with a knife.”

“Manipulated a 6 year old.”

“I will not put up with this from myself.”

“Making a threshold decision.”

“Fake a kidnapping.”

“Did your dirt.”

“Thrive on drama and crisis.”

“Preserve their home.”

“Some insignificant detail.”

“Lied about.”

“Really high standards in your life.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“They never had children, possibly partly because she lived for much of the year in a small castle which he was only allowed to visit in her absence and with her written permission.”

“Trigger adverse emotion.”

“Whatever means the situation demands.”

“Public threats of violence.”

“Until the means by which the result was obtained have been thoroughly investigated.”

“Make irresponsible remarks.”

“Europe’s mastication capital.”

“Her pelvic floor was open.”

“With the sort of suspicious edge he might normally reserve for referring to an EU bureaucrat.”

“Degenerate philanderer.”

“Choreography that appears to be exclusively hair-flick based.”

“Militaristic stomping.”


‘Natural World’ Quotes:
“Active hole.”

“They ate the whole head.”

“Bitten to death.”

“Snake season.”

‘’The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Afraid he would bar her from their house.”

“For the purpose of rendering one’s social contacts jealous.”

“Was killed during a thunderstorm when lightning struck his selfie stick.”

‘3 News’ Quote:
“Reasonable means of escape.”

Read ‘Misty’ issues 95 to 99. ‘The Pig People’ is a tale of a pig worshipping cult’s relic. It was mean and okay. ‘The Body Snatchers’ was an intolerably awful tale of plant monsters. There were also a couple of anti-fox hunting tales that were nonsensical garbage. ‘The Wishing Bird’ is a tale of sick girl and a magic bird. It was okay. Also there were tales of witches with toxic personalities that were purposely dumb.

‘Screaming Point!’ was an excellent tale of a girl, her creepy ‘uncle’ and resurrection. ‘Three Flowers’ is a rip-off of a famous fairy tale and is okay. ‘The Power Of Young Melissa’ is a tale of a girl who can undo death. It is excellent and creepy.

‘House Of Horror’ is a very good tale of an evil waxworks. ‘Silver Lining’ is a tale of yobs who get theirs in a way that strains credibility. ‘Just Another Day’ is an okay tale with a twist. ‘Forever In Her Eyes’ is an okay tale of a genius loci and an evil princess. ‘Crystal Clear’ is a silly tale of stained glass. ‘Witch Hunt’ is an okay tale of a witch. ‘Bookworm’ is a good tale of dark magic with a twist.

Best Lines:
“But I’ve never worked in a mill, I won’t know what to do!”

“Scaring the new maid out of the few wits she has.”

“Done the devil’s work for you.”

“The black runes of shogoth!”
Scary Books

The Year’s Best Dark Fantasy & Horror 2016 edited by Paula Guran Part 2 Reviewed

A girl in Victorian London pretends to be male to work as a police officer during Jack The Ripper’s rampage. She is increasingly resentful of her mother who has scant regard for her inbetween railing unreasonably. This novella is not a historical necessity.

Best Lines:
“God help the man who hit another’s whore - at least without paying extra.”

“They didn’t look like good women.”

Seven Minutes In Heaven
A girl realises her childhood and her small town weren’t so idyllic, warm and gentle. This was excellent and nightmarish.

Best Line:
“Without a hint of sadness.”

This was devoid of either quality or meaning. Unsubstantial.

The Body Finder
A man finds dead bodies and feels he blew his one chance of happiness years ago. He is past being angry and learns there is no low people won’t sink to. Bad things happen, that are very little regretted. This was disastrous.

The Deepwater Bride
A girl from a weird family sees signs and portents. This was an excellent, hilarious Lovecraft pastiche.

Best Lines:
“Girls abhorred oddity.”

“His abyssal wake.”

“A grudge informer.”

Fabulous Beasts
I’ve read this before. This is tale of sullen behaviour, surliness, bizarre logic, snakes and all the diabolical ways a family can act. This was not touching or tender.

Best Line:
“He takes no offence at my lack of social graces but someday he will.”

Below The Falls
This has a bizarre misspelling in its first few paragraphs. This tale of a haunting is not exquisitely refined.

The Cripple And The Starfish
By Caitlin R Kiernan. This has a spelling mistake. This is an okay bizarre tale of vampires.

The Door
By Kelley Armstrong. This is a good sad tale but not horror.

Daniel’s Theory About Dolls
This is an absolutely terrible piece of crap.

Kaiju Maximus ®: “So Various, So Beautiful, So New”
A dull tale of a superhero. This was not horror and was self-important.

Best Line:
“Wrath and ruination.”

By Gemma Files. I’ve read this before. It is an okay tale of revenge.

The Glad Hosts
This is not horror, this is crap sci-fi.
To Light The Way To Bed

Tomorrow When The War Began 1x01 + Fearless 1x03 + Shadowhunters 1x12 + Reign 4x03 Reviewed

Tomorrow When The War Began (2016) 1x01
Based on the book. Ellie and her friends go camping in a remote area. There is a mention of hacking. Apparently this got low ratings and there is no sign so far of a 2nd season. Why didn’t they make this tv show a sequel to the movie and adapt book 2? The music is bad and the characters aren’t as good as in the film.

This was insubstantial and full of padding. This was grotty and full of inconsequential filler. Also it was dull and everyone mumbles. Nobody has warmth or humanity. This not gruelling or full of dark chilly nihilism. There are unnecessary scenes with the parents. The invasion force shows up.

The gang see a car with RUN spray-painted on it. There is obvious evidence of an invasion. Apart from the car scene, this ep was a downright embarrassment. Suddenly it is night-time. The acting is bad. Who invaded? Ellie and co’s tarriance in Hell has allowed them to become the maquis.

Best Lines:
“I think we might be at war.”

“Run, run, run, run.”

Fearless 1x03
Emma has no shame. DCS Greenwood is menaced. Emma won’t hand over the SIM card. Emma is nonchalant and has worrying blankness. Emma is paranoiac and uncontrollable. Wouldn’t she be arrested for leaking porn of a murder victim? What does Tony know? There is a mention of sex parties. What happened to Linda and why? What is being covered up? Wild is told to keep the unions sweet.

Emma’s lies end her hopes of fostering. She is sterile due to an abortion. It is obvious that Emma had an ISIS supporter in her house, this doesn’t bother her. ISIS woman smugs. Morally ambiguous types lurk. Jamie Bamber still hasn’t learnt to act since he was Apollo. Emma hangs out with more ISIS types.

Americans stick their noses in. Kevin’s girlfriend killed Linda, it is so obvious. New evidence about how Linda died is uncovered after she is dug up. What are people covering up? Heather is menaced. Kevin is retried. Heather menaces someone. What is going on? Emma shouts. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Complete bollocks.”

“Her theory is actually true.”

“You and your lies.”

“You should piss off.”

“You children stared at in the streets.”

“One of his tarts.”

“I know who you’re protecting.”

“Trying to turn Linda into a whore.”

“I don’t hear you.”

“It’s not deliberate.”

“Trotskyite dickhead.”

Lydia and Alec are to marry. The fact that Jace is apparently Valentine’s son doesn’t seem overly concerning to anyone. Clary demonstrates no insight. She’s sad she and Jace can have no devoir conjugal. Bane prances and stalks Alec like a creepy old man pervert. He issues ultimatums. What happened to Clary going to art school? I hate Simon.

Bane dresses like North Korean heavy. Lydia’s ditched the side plait and is all soft now. There is padding. Why don’t the Clave do a DNA test on Jace and Clary? There is bad VFX. Alec is a jerk and utters not a word of apology. Bane crashes the wedding so Alec ditches Lydia at the altar and does a runner. This was okay.

The runes look like ringworm. The evil vampire is sealed in a coffin and Clary needs to get her out. Where are Lydia’s family after she’s been ditched and dismissed? Jace aka Jonathan Christopher broods. Hodge is evil, with a bold display of ambition. He looks like a drug hoover.

Best Lines:
“I feel weird right now.”

“Maybe she just didn’t want me.”

Leaps Of Faith
Adelaide Kane was in ‘The Purge’, I honestly did not notice. James bothers John Knox’s wife. Darnley wants to marry Keira, she did not exist! Darnley and his mother plot. Lola’s bastard, who never existed, is fawned over. Narcisse rants. Catherine broods. Gideon whines: he never existed! Gideon wants Mary to abdicate and marry him. Totally implausible! Leeza plots. Catherine and Narcisse plot. Where is Conde?

Charles acts like a crazy man. Narcisse serves up Bianca to him to be his mistress. Catherine’s latest poisoning plan goes awry. Where is Bothwell? Leeza is onto Catherine. Leeza uses the term disability. Claude prays. Is Leith really dead? Claude is claimed to have healing powers. A Spanish Cardinal lurks. Claude shrieks at Leeza. James broods. Mary is obsessed with Gideon’s peen. Leeza is caked in fake tan. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Serpent of a mother.”

“Blessed womb.”

“Spanish hell.”