June 20th, 2017

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: George Best: All By Himself + 11 others

George Best: All By Himself (2016)
A sad documentary about the footballer who threw it all away for no rational reason.

Best Lines:

“All he came over as.”

“Drank every single day for 30 years.”

“So many sad bits.”

“The big one’s got to go.”

“Went for 22 days on a binge.”

“They threw him out.”

Downfall (2004)

Michael Collins (1996)
Tedious beyond belief.

Sunshine (2007)

Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers (1988)
No narrative clarity.

Prom Night (1980)

Terror Train (1980)

Psycho Beach Party (2000)
So thoroughly disliked.

Cut (2000)

Psycho II (1983)
22 years later and Norman Bates has come home. This was not like the book. Meg Tilly is in this.

Darkness Falls (2003)

Losing Isaiah (1995)
  • Current Music
    Believe/If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
  • Tags
Illya K

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Atomic Blonde’ trailer
Violence. A spy. Ice. Fighting. Looks good.

Best Lines:
“Welcome to Berlin.”

“Don’t shoot; I’ve got your shoe.”

‘Doctor Who’ 10x11 promo
The Doctor tries to redeem Missy. A blue guy and a 400 mile ship are involved. As are the idiot companions. There are cybermen and John Simm. At last something interests me in this wretched season.

Best Line:
“You’re the reason that they’re coming.”

‘Happy Death Day’ trailer
A Groundhog Day slasher movie. Why do killers wear sweat generating, peripheral vision ruining masks? Maybe.

‘Batman’ (1966) opening credits

‘Batman’ (1966) clip
The Joker ends up on the batpole. Alfred has to wash their costumes. How stupid is Aunt Harriet? There is patently ridiculous acting. The Joker could just step off the batpole.

Best Lines:
“Mistook this for a secret passage.”

“Emergency batpole elevator.”

“Crazy dumbwaiter.”

‘Monster In Law’ (2005) promo

‘Halloween: The Curse Of Michael Myers’ (1995) promo

‘You, Me And Dupree’ (2006) promo

‘Entrapment’ (1999) promo

Recall ‘Hogan Heroes’ or ‘Stalag Luft’ (1993)?

I may review ‘The Purge’.

I won’t review ‘Gotham’ 3x11 ‘Beware The Green-Eyed Monster’.

Anyone see ‘Thirteen Days’ (2000), ‘U-571’ (2000), ‘Gandhi’ (1982) or ‘Nixon’ (1995)?

Recall ‘Rab C Nesbitt’?

Ah, the shut in economy.

Lightly poached ant eggs are a thing? As are glo-nuts?

RIP Stephen Furst.

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“She’s a horrible human being.”

“At the RV show.”

“Made other decisions.”

“That’s allegedly my child.”

“Dating dating.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Culturally appropriate accommodation.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“High-quality archival paper.”

“Not actually reviewing the restaurant until the final two paragraphs.”

“Lust tours.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Looking for someone to kidnap.”

“Steal his charisma.”

“Stony-faced disbelief.”

“Deserved her place in the dustbin of history.”

“Street-drinkers favour it.”

“Never really liked teachers.”

“Sounds much more serial killerly than it is-”

“Tabloid oik from Leeds.”

“Bashed an attacker over the head with a crate,”

“Repelled by the bottles being thrown by a manager and a waiter.”

“Hardcore nudists.”

“Non-participatory wives.”

‘Sunday Independent’ Quotes:
“Endless denouncements.”

“I was denounced from hill, pulpit and barstool.”

“You just look at one, you start getting ideas.”

“Someone dead and iconic.”

“I knew in theory that her life was like that,”

“Evicted his girlfriend and their baby from his flat.”

“Jabbing needles into her bottom.”

“Slide the money under the door.”

“Not entirely penitent.”

“Passed her over.”

“The masses.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Social rights.”

“Had a large number of enemies.”

“Making threats to kill his legal team.”

“Beating his partner in front of a judge.”

“Attempting to perform citizen’s arrest on judges and court officials.”

‘The Guardian’ Quote:
“Fanboys brought up on comic book sci-fi.”

‘End Of Watch’ Quote:
“Tactical knife.”

‘The Lying Game’ Quotes:
“And we never minded. Though maybe we should have.”

“Your dad was a good man, no matter what others in this place say,”

‘Girls On Top’ Quotes:
“Measle baby.”

“Special haemorrhage size.”
Scary Books

The Handmaid’s Tale 1x04 + Merciless (2014) 1x01 Reviewed

Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum
This was not good. Offred has been banished to her room for 13 days, thanks to Serna Joy’s unrepentant malice. Offred has flashbacks to the Red Centre. Writing was banned but that wasn’t the worst thing for them. Fred browses his laptop. There is a UN embargo on Gilead. An Aunt escaped to Canada and gave an interview. Fred ignores Serena Joy’s suggestions. This was mundane gothic. Fred is cold-eyed. Offred is all brooding intensity and joyless personality.

This has a washed-out colourless look. Serena Joy has questionable ethics. Offred has exhaustion of the soul. The flashbacks show how the Handmaids learnt about the Ceremony, it did not go down well. This was a moment of particular grimness. The Aunts are sinister baddies. Fred is a filthy weasel. The Commanders aren’t morally energetic. This is guilty of over-plotting.

This is not scarily prophetic. Serena Joy’s vindictive retaliations have manic avidity. Offred encounters a morally comfortable doctor. He says the Commanders are sterile. Unending lists of things are forbidden in Gilead. The flashbacks show how Moira escaped the Red Centre. Sadly this ep leaves one lamentably uninterested. Where did they recruit Aunts? Did even the Aunts buy into the myth-making of Gilead?

How did things change so quickly after the Gilead takeover? Offred learns of the fate of her predecessor. Offred and the Commander do risky things.

Best Lines:
“Where no-one would ever see it.”

“Posted could be worse.”

“Pop out a baby for the fatherland. Sounds awesome.”

“My monthly woe.”

“Waiting to be seeded.”

“It’s Ceremony Night.”

“You’re ripe.”

“Sterile. That’s a forbidden word.”

“How did you survive her?”

“Just look meek.”

“He has to knock.”

“Where are the street signs?”

“Did she displease him? The divine emperor of this house.”

Merciless (2014) 1x01
Eduardo is the Brazilian Ted Bundy. Vera is looking for the local serial killer. Her boss Dias snots. Police ignore and shrug off a kidnapping. The opening credits are daft. A pervy politician cheats on his wife and berates her for being upset. He also ignores his son. Eduardo is a lawyer and a psych student and he is working on the pervy politician’s re-election campaign. This is basically ‘The Fall’ set in Rio.

Eduardo advises the politician to run on an anti-rape platform. Eduardo stalks and kills woman, save for one woman he doesn’t kill. Characters are connected, this was tiresome. The pervy politician’s wife whines about how she used to be a militant yet changed everything about herself for the sake of his career. Their boho son shrugs. There are complications and idiot police. The pervy politician does a runner, people lie and the police yell. Eduardo has ambition and is entirely unapologetic.

Best Lines:
“Trade me for her.”

“Practically lives on the streets.”
  • Current Music
    (I Can‘t Get No) Satisfaction/You Can‘t Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones
  • Tags

The Big Lie #3 + Secret Empire #4 Reviewed

Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys: The Big Lie 3
This is a darker and edgier reboot of the teen detectives. This has ugly art that looks like something out of ‘Excalibur’ from the 1990s. Apparently Hardy Snr was murdered and the trio are investigating. This is all super-serious with maniacal gang-members. Nancy is all moroseness. This is full of incipient earnestness. The Hardy Boys regard each other unaffectionatly.

Nancy’s dad prosecuted Hardy Snr? The Drew and Hardy families are in a feud apparently. What is hidden in the devices the gang members want? This has no moodiness or noir. Nobody notices 3 teenagers acting furtively. This was botched.

Best Lines:
“This is a burger-free car.”

“Have you been drinking coffee again?”

“He does not like your family.”

Secret Empire 4
The Punisher is Hydra. Black Widow trains child soldiers. Why are they wearing their distinctive costumes if they are undercover? Ultron lurks. Why do people treat the Tony Stark AI as a real thing? Who is Taskmaster? There are 2 Ant-Mans? WTF? I’m confused. Why is Thor not Thor? The heroes fight each other over stupid petty things.

What did Hank Pym do? Why do all his friends dislike him now? What did he do to Janet? Is Hank himself or is he Ultron? AI Tony Stark annoys. Narmor shows up. There is a mole on Tony’s team. Who is it? Where is the real Tony? This was okay.

Best Lines:
“We are simply having a conversation about knives.”

“Ultron fight number 582.”

“The other Ant-Man! The one nobody likes!”

“Danger’s afoot.”

“You always have such big ideas for solving the world’s problems. Funny, then, how you just keep making everything worse.”

“It was hard for people act like everything was still okay, like they were still okay with you--”

“You were a lout and cretin who made his fortune selling weapons to murderers. Your arrogance started two wars--”

“It’s all any of you will ever remember me for --all you ever say about me!”
  • Current Music
    Send Me An Angel - The Scorpions
  • Tags