June 4th, 2017

Scary Books

Z Nation #1 Sea Of Death Reviewed

Based on the Syfy show, this is a prequel set during Black Summer. People are wholly concerned with food. While not compelling reading, this is good fun as there is rumour, relentless dread and fear and bad guys behaving appallingly, now the stultified social veneer is gone. As always ‘Z Nation’ defies logical reasoning and is full of self-deluding thoughts, incautious heroes, disinhibited smirking weasels on a fatal course of action and ill fate and impermanence. The bad guys in this issue have short term opportunism and incidental idiocy. This had no emotional nuance but was enjoyable.

Best Lines:
“All I’ve had to eat for a week is half a pop tart I had to fight an undead toddler for.”

“Zombie cattle.”

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Book Review: Prophecy

Prophecy by David Seltzer
This 1979 eco-horror novel has causal racism by awful people, the heroine being a whiner who drinks while pregnant and the ‘hero’ visiting seedy enclaves in the city. Then the ‘hero’ and heroine go to the countryside and encounter a pollution caused disaster. This eco horror novel inspired a movie starring Robert Foxworth and Talia Shire. It was inspired by an infamous real life pollution disaster in Japan.

The ‘hero’ is a doctor, his wife is a cello playing whiner and they go to a small town on behalf of the EPA. The small town is full of sickness, mutations and a monster. These threats were caused by uncaring polluters. This was okay if not hugely positive. This shows the bleak, grimmy, scuzzy, scummy 70s and it is full of nasty, unpleasant people and bad things that cannot be rectified.

Best Lines:
“The forest, which seemed deceptively benevolent.”

“It was not a statement. It was a prayer.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Wonder Woman + Bullitt + Boyhood + Legend

Wonder Woman (2017)
This was good even if Lynda Carter didn’t have a cameo. Book-ended by a modern day framing story, this tells the origin of Diana Prince (never referred to as Wonder Woman). Diana (Gal Gadot) grows up on a paradise island trained by Amazons. The scenery is beautiful and Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen brood. Then Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) and World War 1 breach the mysterious mist surrounding paradise island.

Diana learns of a malevolently scheming German general (Danny Huston) who smiles smugly over his evil doing with Dr Poison. The soulful Diana heads off with Steve to end the war. She has no long term plan as she picks up a bevy of sidekicks. This is an entertaingly ridiculous pulp tale. Diana’s slow-motion walk across No Man’s Land in the iconic costume is suitably dramatic. This is not a brutal social realist piece though some of it is mired in bleakness of which Diana registers her displeasure and unease.

This was not bracingly astute as Diana ends up with bittersweet regrets and acceptance of life’s disappointments and appalling activities. She has sad yearning, growing despair, calm authority and it’s all wildly implausible but enjoyable.

Best Line:
“They don’t know that.”

Bullitt (1968)
Steve McQueen, Robert Vaughn and Robert Duvall star in this self consciously hip movie. A sleazy politician (Vaughn) asks a cop (McQueen) to protect a witness from the organisation (namely the mafia) in San Francisco. This was not good, yes it has that car chase but still.

Best Lines:
I’m waiting to ask him.”

“Start remembering.”


Boyhood (2014)
This was militantly appalling and vied for relevance.

Legend (2015)
Tom Hardy plays the Kray brothers. This was a mildly ludicrous overblown irrelevance with swearing and violence.

Best Lines:

“Your miserable life will swallow you whole.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Into The Badlands’ promo

‘Pirates 5’ promo
Looks tired.

‘Spiderman: Homecoming’ promo
The trailer gives the whole plot away.

‘Dunkirk’ trailer

‘Boyhood’ promo

‘War For The Planet Of The Apes’ trailer

‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ trailer
No clarity of purpose.

‘After Camelot’ promo
Are they doing JFK Jnr? Classy.

‘Continuum’ season 1 promo
So much wasted promise.

‘Wonder Woman’ TV spot

‘Harlots’ opening credits

‘Everything, Everything’ promo

I will review ‘Harlots’.

I won’t review ‘Secret Empire #3’ or any of its spin-offs.

Anyone recall Michelle McManus?

‘The Circle’ is not coming to UK cinemas.

BBC1 are doing a 3 part ‘War Of The Worlds’?

What is ‘Requiem‘?

Anyone read the 1999 novel ‘The Descent’?

Watched some of the ‘Poirot’ ep ‘Three Act Tragedy’ which starred Jane Asher, Art Malik, Tom Wisdom and Martin Shaw. This had bad VFX and a pompous luvvie (Shaw). A vicar dies and the luvvie is a permanent source of irritation. Poirot is pompous and this had no steely clarity. Poirot has a tone of judgement and Shaw does a self parody and this was not a beneficial contribution to TV. It was piffle.

Best Lines:
“She’s gone missing and she’s creepy.”

“An arranged obviousness.”

Anyone recall ‘Only When I Laugh’? Or ‘A Different World’ (1987-1993)? Or ‘Tipping The Velvet’ (2002)?

There is squirrel curry?

A sushi place I always meant to try has closed.

I’d try a frose.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Openly despises the democratic values it is supposed to embody.”

“If he doesn’t like someone he cleans guns in front of them.”

“Snakes under the carpet.”

“Accusing others of wishing it ill.”

“Afraid of judgement.”

“Vomits money.”

“They threw up in the shower.”

“They left soiled underpants in the fridge.”

“Played by several weasels in a rubber man suit, who prefers shrieking incoherently.”

‘The Gloss Magazine’ Quote:
“French leave.”

‘Scandal’ Quote:
“You knew the bullet was coming.”

Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Responsible for their good choices.”

“Hold my words against me a lot.”

“Complex and dark syndrome.”

“Mentally deranged girl.”

“To stay present.”

“Full of false information.”

“Horrible, awful human being.”

“They lie all the time.”

“Why would you even make that comment?”

“Choice point.”

“Your logic trail on that.”

“Unfinished emotional business.”

“Abuse check.”

“Not very bright.”

“Devil child.”

“I still don’t believe her.”

‘The Fates’ Quote:
“Cows don’t explode.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Remained notable by his absence.”

“A respectable excuse for not behaving respectably.”

“Look on in visible disgust.”

“Judgemental attitudes towards permissible behaviour by women.”

“Undervalued and unsupported.”

“Cranial dispatch.”

“Rationally battling with beliefs too entrenched to be reasoned with.”

“Apparently accepting community.”

“Moralisation law.”

“The America that Trump would like to create if he could, but can’t.”

“Nostalgia arena-rock circuit.”

“One of the most mercenary figures in rock.”

“Garish defiant cartoon.”

“Always thought she was slightly above the rest of the family.”

“Nations are built on wishful versions of their origins.”

“Silences where they should have been evidence.”

“Communicating in a language the present understands.”

“The Society for the Reformation Of Manners.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Preparing for some kind of confrontation.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Got on his soapbox, out-shouted his detractors - and won.”

“I don’t value the opinion of the Daily Mail,”

“Into which a lodger arrived and gradually supplanted her father.”

“They were not like us.”

“Anti-officer sentiment.”

‘Versailles’ Quote:
“I’m building an empire. I’ve no intention of sharing it.”

‘The A Team’ Quote:
“I’m in an Iraqi sewer. Thanks boss.”

‘Britain’s Biggest Hoarders’ Quote:
“15 years out of date.”

Arrow 5x23 + Clique 1x05&1x06 + iZombie 2x01 Reviewed

Lian Yu
Chase has infinite malice and Oliver has moral vacuity. Oliver lets Slade out of the blacksite jail because he needs the help. Slade is indomitable and Oliver has causal disrespect. An ARGUS guy gets punched in the face and forgotten. Oliver brought scorn on his head and is now paying for it. Slade is dour faced and sane. Oliver and his monstrous grasping ego offers to help Slade find his son. Shame he didn’t do that YEARS ago. What about Slade’s son in the bleak future?

Oliver has the implicit assumption that Slade will have a servile attitude to him. Merlyn and his bad haircut looks over-botoxed. Wouldn’t Slade’s depth-perception be affected by only having one eye? Digger a forgotten bad guy bores. There is bad VFX and yet more useless flashbacks. Kovar and his man boobs bore. Somehow Kovar has unquestioning fealty from his men. This has no quiet foreboding or menace. Thea needs to drop dead. Evelyn and Talia are smug yet are easily defeated. Digger is bad, like duh.

This has no calm dignity and one does not get heart-swelling satisfaction from watching it. Evelyn is locked in a cage and forgotten. Felicity whines. Oliver is thankless. Felicity ruined this show. Lian Yu was a holy retreat with a temple back in the day? Black Siren has no hesitancy or discomfort. Nyssa and Slade must be sweating in their OTT outfits. Neither Merlyn nor Thea mention Tommy. Merlyn may be dead.

Felicity makes it all about her. Curtis is foolish and selfish. Chase covered Lian Yu in bombs? Quentin calls Dinah the Black Canary. WTF? Nyssa and Talia have issues and no vast reservoir of affection. Chase is nuts. Shrug. I may give season 6 a go. Chase is not evil made manifest. TPTB hate Laurel and spit on her, her memory and her alternate universe twin at every possibility. Kovar dies during a useless flashback. Chase’s reputation for unpredictability goes on. This had no hypnotic charisma. When and how did Chase rig Lian Yu?

Flashbacks show how Oliver staged his rescue and put on the outfit, mud, wig and beard. Nobody noticed the wig and beard? Talk about undermining 1x01 with this fake rescue. The fishermen had a satellite phone? Where was Oliver’s step dad? Does this mean the end of useless flashbacks? What about the ARGUS guy Oliver assaulted? Oliver’s stupid son needs saving. Chase reaffirms his commitment to vengeance by killing himself and possibly everyone on Lian Yu. This forfeits sense. Nobody noticed an island blowing up?

Best Lines:
“This is how you help me.”

“Should we?”

“What do you need an RPG for?”

“Evil dads.”

“Reference too dated?”

“You sure he’s yours?”

“You thought you could replace me.”

“I can’t believe him.”

“Father was always ashamed of me.”

“You’re late.”
“But they’re not.”

“You don’t seem too bright.”

“You’re not the first one to call him that.”

“This place brings back memories.”

“This is a large island.”

“I trust him more that you.”
“Didn’t he kill your mother?”

“The 3 gulf streams I used to have.”

“I regret enough as it is.”

“Everything has to do with your father.”

“We are nothing to each other.”

Clique 1x05&1x06
This concludes. Holly’s ‘friends’ know her no more, for a while anyway. Fay did not value herself and now neither does Georgia. Who is Charlie? Holly sees it as her solemn duty to reveal Fay’s truth and save the vile Georgia. There is no innocent explanation for anything. Holly makes grandiose proclamations and vitriolic condemnations. Nobody is wonderfully competent.

Rich people are calculating reflective evil and are the murderous embodiment of avarice. Rory is a wrong un. Georgia’s grim secret bores cos of her intransigence. Jude expresses concern about Georgia’s unmerited job. Nobody has a moral duty or a moral obligation. There is no grinding tension. Jude has seething rage and Georgia is a glum figure with terrible judgement. The driver lingers. Holly is incautious and bombastically accusing. Georgia is all enigmatic blankness as she is swallowed up by her predicament.

Why is Holly so rude to Elizabeth? WTF is wrong with Georgia? This was not soulful. The fate of Alistair the smirking weasel is unclear. Georgia constantly harangues Holly. This was not ablaze with intensity. This was volcanically stupid. Holly is a social outcast for a bit and then are twists. Georgia engages in refutation. Things go awry. Rachel is not a good friend and is emotively awful.

Things go more awry and there are twists and death. Jude is fired. Holly loses her mind. There are more twists and reveals. Georgia is the worst. There is more bad VFX and people move on. Holly’s bizarre behaviour and creepy Georgia obsession is revealed. Holly is a liar and a psycho. This ends on an interesting note. This was okay if not definitive.

Best Lines:
“Now things are happening without you.”

“Not equipped to understand.”

“Calling you a pimp for your brother.”

“Mad bitches with a vendetta.”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Made me believe that you were good.”

“I had to make him stop.”

“Make them believe us.”

“Corporate entertainment.”


“She helped you to ruin people.”

Grumpy Old Liv
Liv is annoying. Blaine is still around? Major is bothered by Liv. Major is a personal trainer now? A vile business man overacts. Everyone is awful. This ep and this show are both horrible trash.

Best Lines:
“A bra for his ass.”

“Manic violent episodes.”

“Is that my cue to start cackling manically?”

“Paint your face like a 2 dollar whore.”