May 9th, 2017

Illya K

Shades Of Blue 2x08 + Gotham 3x05 Reviewed

Unpaid Debts
Julia’s not shot. Paranoia is Woz’s main source of worry. Woz’s reporter son shows up. Tess sasses. Stahl strikes. Trust has evaporated. There is mumbling. There is no culture of obedience. This was chaotic and tenuous. Woz menaces a mob moll. Harlee and her gang do more stupid things. Harlee looks up Stahl’s ex. Woz’s son is told what a horrible person his dad is. Stahl’s ex-partner Molly is looked up. Woz broods. Harlee learns just how crazy Stahl is. Okay.

Best Lines:
“Protection ain’t free.”

“Just took a dump in front of two meth-heads.”

“We’re stealing a car from police impound for a drug dealer!”

“Indictable evidence.”

“She is the villain here.”

Anything For You
Nobody has innocent intent and nobody is of horrifying mythological significance. This tries for unrelieved grim. Gordon hangs out with the useless Valerie Vale. She has an insatiable lust to annoy and raises Gordon’s ire. This had no virtuosity. Barnes has toxic stress. The Red Hood gang return. Riddler prances and is devious. Barnes is losing his stern dignity and wants to awe and cow people with his air of satisfaction.

Penguin has no plangent impassioned delivery. Barbara is a treacherous harlot. Butch plots. Bruce causes exasperation and is demonstrably false. This had no astonishing emotional impact. Fox and Riddler have mutual loathing. Lee slaps Riddler. People say Bruce is great, to give him a shortcut to importance. Gordon is bafflingly ardent for Bruce. Riddler and Butch have formidable ambition. This was raucous.

Riddler doesn’t like people or mercy. This was okay if not psychologically perceptive. Selina and Bruce are un-comprehending. Valerie Vale is not winsome. Mad Hatter shrieks.

Best Lines:
“Oh joy.”

“Was insane. I have a certificate.”

“Making Gotham safe again.”

“I guess they weren’t threatened.”
“By a 300 pound gorilla?”

“I’m guessing that’s not normal.”

“This is our life now.”

“It’s going to be fabulous, none of you are invited.”

“Try not having it. It matters.”

“I’m confused.”

“When my sweet and terrible vengeance upon them reigns.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Some Familiar Faces 25 Years Later’ promo
In Twin Peaks, people have got old. Andy, Laura’s mom, Dale Cooper, Ed Hurley and Hawk. We’ll see, we’ll see.

‘Only You’ (1994) promo

‘Lock Up’ (1989)

‘Philadelphia’ (1993) promo

‘Man About Dog’ (2004) promo

‘Fallen’ (1998) promo

‘Van Helsing’ (2004) promo

Gobi & orange 74% organic dark chocolate - good.

Jupiter beside the moon looked so dramatic.

‘Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure’ is terrible.

Anyone see ‘The Mummy’ (1959) or ‘Blood From The Mummy’s Tomb’ (1971)? Or the ‘The Pool’ (2001) or ‘Final Games’ (1983)?

I’ve never seen ‘Re-Animator’ (1985) or ‘Bride of Re-Animator’ or ‘Dolls’ or ‘Robot Jox’ or ‘The Pit and The Pendulum’ (1991) or ‘Space Truckers’ (1996) or ‘Dagon’ (2001).

‘Emerald City’ axed and I’ve never seen it.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan nearly quit acting after appearing in an ep of ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ -- understandable really.

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Initiated proceedings against him for undisclosed reasons.”

“Could make a Seattle grunge outfit like Nirvana or Pearl Jam world famous,”

“Relatively little experience of not being famous.”

‘Sunday Independent’ Quotes:
“Convenience friends.”

“Romantic and fertility situations.”

“Elderly farmers, who will one day die out,”

“Age-related declines.”

“Dripping with bias.”

“The jewellery was not in keeping with the period.”

‘Fawlty Towers’ Quotes:
“Don’t touch me; I don’t know where you’ve been.”

“I’ll live longer than you.”

“We did not start it.”
“Yes you did! You invaded Poland!”

“You stupid krauts.”

‘Countryfile’ Quote:
“Indicator species.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“My adversary.”

“Moral weakness.

‘Captain America: The First Avenger’ Quote:
“All the grovelling I had to do.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Her right to a good life.”

“As moral hazards to be contained and controlled.”

“He never cared again.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Failed successors.”

“To shame, dehumanise and mark.”

“Associated with efforts to shame them.”

“Wildly unrepresentative.”

“Preoccupied with her own unhappiness.”

“Reject in any context.”

“Economically redundant.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Does not appear so.”

"Sketchy kid."

“He’s killed 2 people and eaten them.”

4 Comics Reviewed

Wonder Woman: free comic book day
Rebirth?  Did this replace The New 52? This is Year One: Part One. Diana and Steve Trevor live their separate lives. Then his transport plane crashes on the Amazon’s island. This was very good.

Best Line:
“We are discovered.”

Buffy The High School Years: free comic book day
No need to fear, the slayer’s here indeed. When is this allegedly happening? Buffy never looked like that. Is she hanging out with Xander? When did Sunnydale have a downtown or a comic book shop? How is the vampire out in daylight? We also get an excerpt of ‘Plants v Zombies’. This was squandered potential and was unworthy of any confidence.

Best Lines:
“We got evil!”

“They act strange and dress real peculiar.”

“He’s wandering off aimlessly to do strange things that nobody understands ---but that usually end up having great significance.”

Betty & Veronica #1: free comic book day
I can recall old style ‘Archie’ comics. Archie and Jughead yap. Betty is nice, Veronica is mean and why is this narrated by a dog? The local soda joint is closing down. Betty rages that Riverdale isn’t trapped in amber, preserved in time and beats on Jughead. This was very meta but not that good.

Best Lines:
“It makes you look mannish and undateable.”

“Have you ever heard a banker laugh? It was like someone walking over my grave.”

“Oh, it’s brung!! It’s brung!!!”

Riverdale: free comic book day
Based on The CW show, which I’ve never seen. This is darker and edgier ‘Archie’. Why did Archie’s mom leave? Why is Archie doing a Macron with his teacher? Why does Archie have no other friends? Archie and Jughead have had a rift, which is of jarring significance. Why is his teacher giving into base instincts? Why is Archie all frustration and melancholy? Why is Jughead so outrageously annoyed? There was a death and a mysterious gunshot. The 2nd story sees Veronica live in the Dakota. She has a life of luxury; she loves her daddy, ignores her mommy and then falls from grace due to Dad’s sins. Veronica’s parents are from Riverdale? This was very good with so much potential for darkness.

Best Lines:
“Our next meeting wouldn’t be nearly as friendly.”

“Who’s lighting fireworks at six in the morning on July fourth?”

“Everyone said they were sorry. But none of them sounded like they were sorry.”

“Those people aren’t really our friends.”

“That weird town off the Metro North?”

Movie Reviews: Watchmen Ultimate Cut + 14 others

Watchmen: Ultimate Cut (2009)
This is a long dark dystopian take on superheroes. In a crapsack world, ‘heroes’ run around. Malin Akerman does dull surprise, Matthew Goode is creepy, Jackie Earle Haley does rage, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is freaky and caked in bad old age makeup and Patrick Wilson has hidden rage. This was excellent aside from the bad makeup, bad wigs and the unnecessary Black Freighter segments.

Best Lines:
“Are there no depths you won’t sink to?”

“I say when doomsday is approaching!”

“Begin fuelling the bombers.”

“I don’t like you.”

“Never disposed of sewage with a toilet before. Obvious really.”

“Spare me indignation.”

“Some super owl dude.”

“Mr owl.”

“What nocturnal proclivities entice a man with everything out in the night at this hour?”

“Unquestioning assistance.”

“Free of compromise.”

“We don’t dignify absurdities with coverage.”

“Crank file.”

“Daniel, not in front of the civilians.”

Ghostbusters II (1989)
5 years later: the woman has a baby and by overt subterfuge the former heroes of NY are a joke now. This was dumb. The man-repelling woman engages in wilful child neglect. The Ghostbusters do kids parties and have gone out of business. This was not tragic, nuanced, engaging or likeable. This was full of less than decent behaviour and fails in a fairly basic way. This was not gentle, uplifting, fraught, tense, ethereal or defiant. I don’t care about their travails in this ill-thought through sequel.

This was predictably plotted with no ingenuity or audacity. The actors have apparent indifference and no subtlety or grace. NY is now insufficiently fearful of ghosts. This has essential mediocrity and is all cruelty and meanness. This was not meaningful or profound just impenetrably awful. This was deeply unfortunate and all glum humourlessness. This was perfunctory and had no cold-blooded grimness. This was artistically invalid.

Why are the gang so socially un-adept? The dialogue doesn’t always resemble what real people say. There are dated pop culture references. Why are they so maligned? This is not a significant art form. This has a well deserved reputation problem. This is not subtle, textured, contemplative or reflective. This has no credibility or motivation. There is not even a whiff of threat. This deserves universal derision as it is entirely un-involving and unsatisfying.

Best Line:
“Time is but a window.”

Pollyanna (1960)
No, shrill and unreasonable.

Best Line:

Monty Python and The Holy Grail (1975)
Subverts expectations.

Mr & Mrs Smith (2005)

Phantasm (1979)
This outlandish horror is okay. It had 2 bad sequels and then 2 other sequels which I haven’t seen. This was not emotionally intelligent.

Fortress (1992)
No, this was infamously diabolical.

Children Of Men (2006)

Logan’s Run (1976)
Colossal stupidity.

Babs (2017)
This BBC1 film is a bio-pic of Barbara Windsor of ‘Carry On’ and ‘Eastenders’. There is staring, her estranged daddy goes off to war and Babs is an evacuee. Dead characters show up to play the Greek chorus. This was not fantastically witty or inventive. Apparently she could have been a serious actress and she made Jayne Mansfield jealous. Oh really?

Best Lines:
“Speak nicely to the people you stay with.”

“Didn’t hit you did they?”

“Up your hooter.”

“Do something about those too.”

Fallen (1998)

The Mask (1994)

Van Helsing (2004)

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

Private Benjamin (1980)
  • Current Music
    Today Is Your Day - Shania Twain
  • Tags
Scary Books

Book Review: The White Road

The White Road by Sarah Lotz
From the author ‘The Three’ and ‘Day Four’ comes this creepy tale of a jerk who climbs Everest to film the dead bodies on it for a website. But he isn’t alone. Meanwhile a journal reveals another doomed attempted summit of Everest. This is a deceptively simple, strangely compelling tale of over-ambition by initially defiant confrontational characters who generate huge irritation. There is nameless unease, hideous silence and characters reduced to somewhat pathetic figures who lack lucidity. The outcome is unpredictable as the characters are forced into a position they have not chosen as something has atavistic and unrelenting hostility for them. This was very good, creepy and the ending is inevitable.

Best Lines:
“He’s come at me with a shotgun before.”

“Get divorced and marry a twenty-year-old stripper?”

“He’d be the one who’d live to regret it.”
  • Current Music
    Keeps Getting‘ Better - Christina Aguilera
  • Tags