May 2nd, 2017

Illya K

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Unlocked’ (2017) trailer
Orlando Bloom is ugly. There is to be a bio-attack in the UK. Noomi Rapace is a CIA agent. There are guns, a game, fighting, big name actors and I wanna see this.

Best Lines:
“This is not a secure line.”

“We have been penetrated.”

“In danger. Someone is hunting me.”

‘The Madness Of King George’ (1994) promo
No.

‘Antitrust’ (2001) promo
Daft.

‘Made In America’ (1993) promo
NO.

‘Snatched’ TV spot
No.

'Red Water' promo
WTF is this?!?

I will review ‘Dr DOA’, ‘Closing Doors’, ‘Holy Fools, ‘Ararat’, ‘The Return Of The Man From UNCLE’, ‘The Hell Hound Of The Baskervilles’ and ‘Follow Me Down’.

I won’t read ‘Winter Tide’, ‘Nova’, ‘Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies’, ‘Seven Ways We Lie’ or ‘Thrawn’.

Did some work on LJ.

They de-bitter olives using caustic soda?

I’d love to try fig and orange choc.

I like Juno Calypso’s The Honeymoon Suite photo.

There is beetroot tea?

WTF is beef clod? Or nourish bowls?

WTF are ripening hormone? Or biocombustibles?

There is basil pasta?

I didn’t know bagged salads are full of modified air.

There is watercress gin?

Why are upcoming ‘Star Trek’ covers so fugly?

WTF was the ending of ‘Line of Duty’ 4x06 all about? AC-12 are smug feckers. I’m sure Hastings is evil.

Recall ‘Telebugs’?

Anyone see ‘Jerry Springer: The Opera’?

Recall ‘Bad Girls’ (1999-2006)?

‘Caged’ (1950) was sad: “She’ll be back.”

‘Locked Up’ has been axed.

Saw the ‘Guardians of the Galaxy: Rocket Raccoon part 2’ video: Awwww, Rocket Raccoon frees the test subject animals. His family run by him to freedom. Rocket calls out to his mother but she doesn’t know him and is unaffected. Awwww. Well they’re free and Rocket has Groot.

Best Line:
“Defiant activity.”

‘Britain’s Biggest Hoarders’ Quotes:
“The anxiety of things being different.”

“The living room is no longer habitable.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Resentment widely felt.”

“Accusing him of everything from slandering his family to meddling with the army.”

“A black battering ram appeared and slammed into the front door.”

“Weird, tatty gaming arcades that make gambling look like the least aspirational activity on earth.”

“Insufferable, ironic way.”

“Cultural amenities 100 ft away.”

“Offering no explanation.”

“Did not please my father enough.”

“Shouting at me to see sense.”

“The bad days (of which there were very many),”

“There were things crawling in the buckwheat.”

“Waste people.”

“Carrier killer.”

“Couldn’t deal with life.”

“Everyone in the cinema was laughing at me.”

“Bracken-choked estate.”

“Shame stories.”

“Which tastes, well, goaty.”

“Organic farming is just farming how he used to, 150 years ago.”

“Bar-fighting scars.”

“Finding things to suspect.”

“No one is too poor to buy a bar of soap.”

“Getting cast as prostitutes in tiny fringe plays.”

“I have no tolerance for a bad sentence.”

“Award gobbling.”

Sky News’ Quote:
“Days have turned into 10 years.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“I’ve shredded a child! Again!”

“Dodge-rock. Volley-brick.”

“Friction dancing.”

“Everything he does is wrong.”

“I’ll use your purse as a scoop.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Tainted their perceptions of you.”

“Constant harassment.”

“Spiritual viper.”

“Intent to kill.”

“Not ready for that message.”

“Why were you willing to do that?”

“Stop eating food.”

‘Dracula: The Series’ Quotes:
“You’re always telling me about the good old days, when you used to terrorise the countryside.”

"As I assume you have."

~
On ‘Hollyoaks’: do Simone and Ryan know each other? Frankie wants Esther to divorce Kim. Scott trashes his bio-mother’s house for her not playing along with his reunion fantasy. She points out he has his adoptive mother. He ignores that. Mercedes thinks Scott’s arson is hilarious, she also blackmails Ryan. Oh die bitch. This has no bile fascination. Kim lives in Frankie’s attic.
Scary Books

Gotham 3x04 + Shades Of Blue 2x07 + Revolution 2x17 Reviewed

New Day Rising
Barnes rages in unrelenting fashion. Penguin and Riddler have emotional instability. Alice bores. There are no credible character choices or psychological complexity or moral conflict or emotional engagement. Bruce is completely convinced of his own righteousness. Alfred does a lot of angry talking and has no life of his own. I fundamentally loathe Bruce. This was all tedium and was spectacularly unsuccessful.

Are we supposed to believe Bruce will be a capable opponent to the growing rogues gallery? Won’t they all be old when Bruce becomes Batman? Bruce is an emotional vortex. Sensibilities and propriety have no place here. This ep leaves one wildly bored. Where is Mr Freeze? Barbara and her preening self-importance is joy-suppressing. Gordon is essentially grim. Nothing is satisfactorily resolved and this is of scant interest.

This a descent into banality. How do so many criminals pass unnoticed? Barnes is fantastically pompous. There is no sheer inventiveness. Mad Hatter is all theatrical self-indulgence with no larger consequences. The ill-defined clone Bruce does deeply troubling things. This was insignificant. Wrestlers attack. Lee does desperate rationalising of her awfulness. Bullock is an aggressor with no measured cautious approach.

Mad Hatter kills Alice. Penguin becomes Mayor. This was intensely uncomfortable. This show is a source of continuing frustration. It makes one weary. Bruce and Alfred fail to accept the ramifications of their decision to ignore the Bruce clone. Their deliberate callousness will have consequences due to their wilful complacency. There is a rip-off of ‘28 Days Later’. This was unashamedly crap.

Best Lines:
“Make Gotham safe again.”

“I rob here.”

~
A House Divided
Woz waves an axe. People mumble. Stahl has a vexed look and has moral outrage and bitterness. Woz has jovially antagonising behaviour. There are more bad decisions to come. Harlee lies. Christina is barely in this. Harlee’s friend does drugs. Tess’ domestic drama is AWOL. Linda bores. Julia is awful. Someone quits. Stahl whines, he is not benign and pleasant. How did he get an FBI job? Julia is not luscious and warm and gets shot. This was lazy.

Best Lines:
“Gotta stop making enemies.”

“You forced me to make an enemy tonight.”

~
Why We Fight
How did they tattoo numbers on Patriot cadet’s eyelids? It makes them go psycho-killer, Jason has one. Neville doesn’t seem concerned. Miles and Monroe whine and are all competitiveness, mocking and aggression. Men talk about their feelings. Jason is in peril, where did his killer instincts go? Bratniss snots, Rachel is inadequate and the mother/daughter combo has overheated smuggery. A useless woman rants. Miles is again reminded he made Monroe into a crazy killer. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Discount empire.”

“Creepy Uncle Sam.”

“How about no?”

“Taking out every war clan.”

“Use your son any way I see fit.”

“Your bitchy frowny face judging me.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: The Diary Of A Teenage Health Freak + Control + The Sorcerer’s Academy

The Diary Of A Teenage Health Freak by Adrian MacFarlane and Ann McPherson
This 1987 novel ripped off ‘Adrian Mole’ but was okay. It had a sequel in ‘I’m A Health Freak Too!’. There were moments of illumination for 80s teens.

~
Star Trek Section 31: Control by David Mack
Bashir and Sarina continue their deep seated vendetta against Section 31. They have consternation and contention about Section 31. Bashir is remarkably forgiving of the former friends and co-workers who do nothing to help him. There are serious concerns and false assumptions. There are also retcons about the founding of the Federation. Sense is routinely ignored as the author goes on tracts about the surveillance state and makes thinly veiled comments about complicity and the modern day.

Bashir has indignation and things go awry for him with shocking velocity. This was very good, we’ll see if it has any long term effects on the novel-verse. Do Bashir’s moral fortitude, unwarranted confidence, commitment and desperate attempts to escape the unbearable confinement of Section 31’s social impositions count for anything? Bashir’s sincere approach and absolute sincerity makes him a determinant vowed to resist the Federation’s forced conformity. But there is a final taunt. I liked this.

Best Lines:
“One both morally indefensible and absolutely necessary: Section Thirty-One.”

“Long live the empire unseen.”

“It does not appear on any official star maps or navigational charts known to the Federation or its allies.”

~
The Sorcerer’s Academy by Denise Little
This 2003 DAW anthology is a ‘Harry Potter’ knockoff that sees 3 annoying teens go to magic school. This was improbable, ridiculous and badly written.