April 30th, 2017

To Light The Way To Bed

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

Doctor Who’ 10x04 promo

‘White Gold’ promo

‘Babs’ promo

‘Alien: Covenant’ TV spot

‘Blood Drive’ promo
This is looking to engender some kind of outrage as homicidal deviants cause unhinged madness. This is almost too deviant as cults, monsters and nymphos rampage. This looks bizarre.

Best Line:
“Gentlemen, ladies, lunatics.”

‘The Back-Up Plan’ (2010) promo

‘The Trial: A Murder In The Family’ promo

‘Sleepless’ TV spot

‘Unlocked’ TV spot
I’m interested.

‘Line Of Duty’ promo

‘King Charles III’ promo

‘The Player’ (1992) promo

Elsanta strawberries & cream yogurt - nice.
Vanilla frozen yogurt with brownie bits - nice.
Gluten free wheaten bread - okay.
Gluten free afternoon tea - good.

‘Shades Of Blue’ renewed.

Recall ‘Surgical Spirit’?

I wish the frozen yogurt shop that shut.

I plan to see ‘The Magicians’ season 2 and ‘Emerald City’ season 1.

The Marla Mason book series is done.

David Fincher is to direct ‘World War Z 2’!

‘Powerless’ cancelled and I never saw it.

‘Avengers 4’ sounds dull.

‘Shadowhunters’ and ‘Scream’ have each got a 3rd season and I still haven’t seen one ep of either!

General Zod on ‘Supergirl’ - sigh.

A relative of mine once filled up his car with petrol and then drove off without his petrol cap as his wife was in labour!

Amber on ‘Teen Mom OG’ looks so trashy.

I would to like to read the old DAW anthologies ‘Deals With The Devil’, ‘Enchanted Forests’, ‘Oceans of Magic’, ‘Warrior Enchantresses’, Devil Worshippers’, ‘Cults of Horror’, ‘Phantoms’ and ‘Olympus’.

I will read ‘Skitter’ and ‘Nose Mythology’.

I won’t read ‘The Pier Falls’.

The ‘Poirot’ ep ‘Taken At The Flood’ was an ineffectual tale of overacting, bad accents and disputed circumstances. It was changed a lot from the book. There is a summation gathering, general idling and a dark confederacy. The ending is changed and this was silly. There is quiet unspoken despair and a family bitterly opposed to each other. Why did the killer admit it?

Best Lines:
“The members of my rich family still speaking to me.”

“Too busy storming off.”

“I should not know him.”

‘3News’ Quotes:
“Quite afraid, menaced and worried.”

“Wishing illness, death.”

“Looked very happy with himself.”

“Beside herself with rage.”

RTE News’ Quotes:
“Biologics facility.”

“Lower the anger levels.”

‘100 Things About Teen Mom 2’ Quotes:
“A pet owl named Hoot.”

“My sailor mouth.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“Two drunk guys are fighting outside and everyone went to watch.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Some semblance of joy and freedom.”

“Sadly that didn’t last.”

“Seeing shadow people.”

“Delusional thinking.”

“Does that make common sense to you?”

“Interact with people in a positive way.”

“Socially appropriate fashion.”

“Doesn’t exist to her.”

“Shoots her dark stares.”

“Pulled a knife on the neighbour.”

“I don’t want to be happy if I don’t want to be.”

“Help me shower.”

“You won’t even let me come home now!”

“Why? Why? Why? Why?”

“You never help me!”

“There’s a bad person in there.”

“You have never listened to me!”

“You don’t sound grateful.”

“Not co-operate in that regard.”

“Family discord and chaos.”

“Put her on the kerb.”

“Made case management goals difficult to accomplish.”

“Really unwilling.”

“Kicked over plants.”

“Having trouble listening to reason.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“The years stretching before me endless and empty.”

“Fount of all modern iniquity.”

“Get judged more.”

“Rather than according appropriate solemnity.”

“Failed to establish her general credibility.”

“Normal marital act.”

“Ruddy-faced irritant.”

“The furniture is 1968’s idea of 1995.”

“The stupidity of whose name is a deliberate joke-”


“Refusal to claw the earth in remorse.”

“Died in a tractor accident.”

“No vast improvement to her happiness.”

“Nowadays that would be classed as threatening behaviour.”

“Falling from chairs on chat-shows after insulting the women guests.”

“Nappy blow-outs.”

“National perception of them.”

“Reeks of curry and digestive indiscretions.”

“Well, they didn’t.”

‘Irish Daily Mail’ Quotes:

“A public that likes me.”

“Slighted on purpose.”

“Noticeable absence.”

“Tone of womanhood as they define it.”

On ‘Neighbours’: people recall the dastardly looking Paul is an amputee. Terese annoys. Gary’s ex plots. Finn sneers. Elly’s veneers stick out. Tyler and Piper have issues. Tyler goes all caveman and Piper sneers at him. T-Bone has a bad Canadian accent. Toadie sneers. Finn has Xanthe spy on Susan and Elly.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Darcy is evil, James lurks, Harry is vile and Tony is a doormat. Nancy and Darren have drama. Harry manipulates Tony by threatening to withdraw his affection. Grace is covered in poo coloured bronzer. Darren becomes a drug dealer. This functions in barely minimal fashion. Maxine drinks and pukes. Where is Mitzeee? Nobody is calm and collected. Harry is pathetic. James drinks and plots. Are they trying to hint he killed Amy? James acts shifty and has mischief in mind. Ste has emo-misery. It is maddening that they are hinting that James and his psychotic enthusiasm killed Amy. Simone is all misery. James wants revenge for Ste banging John-Paul. Ste doesn’t apologise for that. This has no wit or invention or narrative purpose. Scott is torturously annoying.

Best Lines:
“I barfed in the chocolate fountain.”

“Before daddy forgets about silly Maxine.”

“Very very wrong.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Void + Wild Hogs + Turbo

The Void (2016)
Art Hindle is the only name in this inept low budget film. A stupid cop brings an injured man to a hospital that is being closed down. The trailer for this looked awesome. This mumblegore is inept. There is bad acting and it is badly lit. Cultists in white robes lurk. There is bad dialogue and bad direction and rubber monsters.

There is death and rampant stupidity. They learn what they’re really supposed to be afraid of. Who are these people? Entertainment is not a distinct possibility. There is a torture dungeon and a temple to an ancient and nameless evil in the basement that nobody noticed until now.

This is all incoherence, rubber effects and useless women. There is a twist, bad acting and this is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. The point of this cannot ever be known. This was trash.

Best Lines:
“Do you really want to follow him where he’s gone?”

“He’s not dead anymore.”

“It wasn’t a pill house!”

“You’re as crazy as they are.”

Wild Hogs (2007)
Men who hate their wives and children go biking. They rant about how women bring them down and ruin their lives. There is gay panic and the gang run across real bikers. Ray Liotta plays a crazy biker who picks a fight. This was lame.

Best Lines:
“Eskimo hooker.”

“My ungrateful wife.”

“I can smell them from here."

“Doug makes kids cry.”

“People get broke.”

“They don’t have no damn cactuses.”

Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)
Hell no.
Sergio Balleseros

Revolution 2x13 + Locked Up 2x01 + Doctor Who 10x03 + Versailles 2x02 Reviewed

Happy Endings
Where do they get medication and syringes? Why does nobody ride bikes? Rachel is still caked in bronzer and nude lipstick. Stephen Collins, Stephen Culp and Cotter Smith feature. The White House has been reoccupied by the alleged POTUS (Smith). He has a suit on. How do they have a working iron? How much time has passed since 1x01? Neville is assured of his own genius. Why do people care about Monroe? How do the Patriots have a photo lab?

Neville and Jason hunt Monroe. Neville has no fear of ambition. Rachel’s face doesn’t move. How do the Patriots communicate? How do people travel around so fast? Aaron and his wife Priscilla wander around looking for nanities or something. Jason has placidity and is compliant. Monroe’s brat son annoys. Bret Michaels makes a cameo as himself performing in New Vegas.

There is bad make up, belligerent rhetoric and deliberate evasions. Why are diamonds used as currency? There is needless sex. Monroe and Jason lurk. There is dull surprise acting. Monroe’s back healed quick. This was completely useless. People have a lack of concern.

Best Lines:
“Half wits.

“Very important plans for that town.”

“Not the sofa, that was Regan’s.”

“Where is this homicidal friend of yours?”

“See the mummified remains of Steven Tyler!”

Locked Up 2x01
The Spanish drama returns. Somehow a gang of prisoners broke out. There is chasing and yelling and fighting. Macarena is thicker than ever and Zulema is evil. There is staring, a bad wig and hats. Macarena’s family killed someone? People berate officials, the prisoners cat-call builders and Macarena is now a wanted murderer for her accidental murder.

There are paranoid notions. I’ve only watched 1x01 so I’ve no idea what happened in the rest of season 1. Zulema and co escape abroad somehow and things are not going to plan. Zulema shows a softer side. Things change at the prison and more discipline is instilled. Macarena is dumber than a sack of hair. Prison guard Fabio has opinions. A beer boy is pissed off and more trouble is coming. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Relax bitch.”

“The jungle she has down there.”

“I’m coming, bitch!”

“The best way to instil fear is to give a monkey 2 guns.”

“There are lots of bitches here.”

“I have a clam for you here.”

Thin Ice
What is in the Doctor’s basement? What is his oath? Oh who cares? There is mumbling and the Doctor and his companion visit the last great frost fair. With sad predictability the companion has infantile grievances. There is no lucidity or insight. The Doctor has faux profundity and is alarmingly dismissive and has startling callousness. The mindless wandering and travelling with the Doctor is not exclusively for the good of the companion. This is not an irresistible story. Drama is started. This was not utterly engaging.

Maddening Matt Lucas buttles. One feels ill-disposed. People quip at awesome and or terrifying situations. The Doctor is blisteringly caustic.

Best Lines:
“Smug belongs to me.”

“Tea clothes.”

“The luxury of outrage.”

A Still Small Voice
Philippe meets his second wife, she is nice. There is sex and religion. Louis has stinging narcissism. This was all empty sexiness and nonsensical tantrums. The Queen complains of her misuse. This had no restraint or reserve. Life at court isn’t endless good fun. Philippe’s lover is full of derision. The court is full of and self-righteous judgement and self-involved people.

Louis has haughtiness. Fabian takes grim pleasure in hunting for prisoners. Philippe is susceptible to his horrible lover. The king’s whore is an unscrupulous seductress and is outright hostile. Nobody is over blessed with insight. Louis dislikes the church telling him what to do. Philippe ignores his children. Nobody asks what’s reasonable in this situation.

Best Lines:
“I do not know him, yet.”

“Fell foul of her.”

“Clocks that work.”

“All he would see, will belong to me.”

“Grow his seed.”

“I am still in his favour but one day that will change.”

Book Reviews: The Refuge + Rites Of Azathoth + A Betrayal In Blood

The Refuge by Frances Heasman
This 1987 novel is based on the forgotten sitcom by Sue Townsend and Carole Hayman. It ran for 2 series and has been forgotten. This was okay. It is a novelisation of various eps about a woman who turned her flat into a woman’s refuge.

Rites Of Azathoth by Frank Cavallo
A long forgotten serial killer escapes from prison and only an extremely annoying FBI agent can stop him. This leads her into a Lovecraftian world. This starts out well but goes downhill. This was a great disappointment.

Best Lines:
“For one day, many years from now, the heavens will be in perfect order. Then the path across the darkness can be opened.”

“There are many people who could celebrate my ruin.”

“The lost god of a lost civilisation.”

“He commands the obedience of the shadows and all that lurks within them,”

Sherlock Holmes: A Betrayal In Blood by Mark Latham
In this excellent novel; Holmes and Watson look into the slaying of a Transylvanian nobleman by a certain Professor Van Helsing. Holmes does not believe in vampires and bit by bit uncovers the dark truth behind the death of Dracula. This is a nice retelling of ‘Dracula’ that puts a dark twist on all the inconstancies and plot holes. This shows how so-called proprietors of morality devoted inordinate time to a grimly maintained lie.