April 2nd, 2017


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Supergirl’ 2x18 trailer

‘Wish Upon’ trailer
A teen makes wishes via a magic box. There is gore and this looks good.

Best Line:
“Now its come to you.”

‘Arrow’ 5x19 promo

‘Spiderman: Homecoming’ trailer
Captain America, fat friend and fighting. There is also the Vulture, a ferry, Iron Man and no nurturance.

Best Line:
“Can you summon an army of spiders?”

‘Just Tattoo Of Us’ promo

‘Born To Kill’ promo
Weird looking UK drama.

‘Spying On The Royals’ ad
“A dangerous way to behave.”

Rice, Black Beans, Black Quinoa & feta with a parsley, lemon & chipotle chilli dressing - okay.
Gluten free oat cookies with milk & dark chocolate chips - yum.
Tex Mex chicken - yum.

No Jeremy Renner in ‘Mission Impossible 6’! Damn!

I will review ‘Foxlowe’, ‘The Natural Way Of Things’ and ‘The Romanovs’.

Houseguest is thankless, crazy, rants about meat, music, himself and wants to ruin our garden. He is lazy, vindictive, shouty and irretrievably thick and yet others keep letting him away with his crap. He never tidies up after himself.

There is to be a new ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ book series due to launch in 2018?

The 20th anniversary ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ photos were nice, but where was Faith?

Recall ‘Family Affairs’? ‘Angels In America’? ‘Minipops’?

Anyone see the 2002 ‘The Four Feathers’?

Anyone see ‘Chess’?

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Demonic issues.”

“Thrown out of 5 churches.”

“Going in the devil’s direction.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Discipline papers.”

“Condemned, judged and isolated.”

“I am no longer able to command the authority I once did.”

“Shamed by your lack of judgement.”

“Hostile foreign forces.”

“Their doors and windows blew in.”

“Being shunned in his community by former friends and acquaintances.”

“Loves being unaware of contemporary popular culture.”

“Underexplored notions.”

“As one copper notes ominously, it looks as if the victims were trying to escape.”

“Reading about how much people hate me.”

“Outrage is the new entertainment.”

“Choice they will regret someday.”

“A historic moment from which there will be no turning back.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:

“A pillar of the streetwear look.”

“One BBC lawyer threatened to resign if it was ever made.”

“Unless I accept and welcome her.”

“Starship Troopers - the best post 9/11 movie, made four years before 9/11 - almost seems like a sensible treatise on foreign policy.”

“The staff know little about the dosage, onset or the duration of effects for the drugs they are selling.”

“You can’t throw laptops at crowds.”

“A sort of TV purgatory where spent formats go to die - and then don’t.”

“Ratings actually rose when guest hosts filled in for its star.”

“Were not there for those purposes and therefore it would not be in the public interest to pursue the matter further.”

“Toxic toilets.”

“Tie-down team.”

“My dad had chased my boyfriend with an axe.”

“Monstrous opinions.”

"Can see their youth disappearing.”

“Complete fear of her.”

‘Great Continental Railway Journeys’ Quotes:
“Free from tram noise.”

“Tolerance thing.”

“Catholics are a fact of life.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:

“Not the hamburger dream!”

“No means no, I looked it up in the dictionary.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quote:
“Drinks wine from large boxes.”

“His brother went looking for him with a baseball bat.”

“Sociologically tragic.”

“A working class, tough guy’s name.”

“Identify the nation ruled by the other as the principle obstacle to their dream.”

“Denotes backwardness.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Ellie shoves a dude down some stone steps. Leo and David’s fish faced mother shows up. Is Scott Robinson their dad? Nobody cares. Leo smarms.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Ste has confessed to killing Amy. Leela bangs Armstrong aka her stalker. Whore! Thorpe resurfaces.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Natural Born Killers + The Church + Parkland

Natural Born Killers (1994)
Tom Sizemore, Robert Downey Jnr, Rodney Dangefield, Edie McClurg, Tommy Lee Jones and Marshall Bell feature in this notorious much-blamed film. There are mullets, swearing and this was over-stylised. A reporter hosts a show called ‘American Maniacs’ and hypes up the killing spree of the killer, depraved, twisted lovers. This was not good, it was full of ghastliness and we don’t care about the roots of their resentment. There are no useful corrective moments or unreflective optimism. This was absurd and disingenuous. This was morally vacillating as all characters scorn any moral conventions. This was insufficiently distinct from crap.

Best Lines:
“This is so bad! What did you do?”

“We got a special disliking.”

"You're a media person!"

“That tv scumbag.”

The Church (1990)
This Italian horror has staring, synth music, 17th century nutters, bad dubbing, a prominent 666, witch hunts, bad acting, a goose and a parchment. A church is built on the witch hunt mass grave and bad things happen. This does not add to the horror genre whatsoever. This was disconnected. There is bad ADR, dried up priests, nice music and no clinically precise dread.

Best Lines:
“Examine the cracks later.”

“The black cross of the Teutonic knights.”

“Banished from the dwelling of the righteous.”

“Burning sinners.”

“They appealed a lot to the Nazis.”

“Not one must be allowed to live.”

“Not in a language I can distinguish.”

Parkland (2013)
There is bad acting and an unfocused camera as people stand around talking. People are perpetually confused and there is no social comment as this film covers the day of Kennedy’s assassination and the 3 days after from the perspective of the little people. There is chaos. Nobody knows the POTUS’ blood type and they run around trying to get the Zapruder film developed. There is blood all over the er. Why does a nurse have a huge crucifix in her locker? Oswald’s brother is tormented and feels pain. Tom Welling shows up as a secret service agent and his face doesn’t move. Oswald has a mad mother.

The parallels between the deaths and funerals of JFK and Oswald are hammered home. Oswald’s bother has to ask reporters to act as pallbearers. The priest who gave JFK the last rites, oversees Oswald’s funeral, which didn‘t actually happen. Oswald’s bother also starts filling in the grave by himself. This also stars Zac Efron, Jackie Earle Haley, Colin Hanks, James Badge Dale, Marcia Gay Harden, Ron Livingston, Billy Bob Thornton, Paul Giamatti and Gil Bellows.

Best Lines:
“Nobody wants him.”

“He’s a somebody now.”

“President Kennedy will not need the airplane.”

“Who’s they?”

“I’m no longer asking.”

“I will never be ordinary again.”

“With the Russian wife?”

“Don’t make me negotiate with those people.”

“A respectable display.”

“The kill shot.”

“False speculation.”

“Oswald’s been shot, right now, Jesus Christ - right on live TV.”

“We might get to keep this one.”
“Do we want to?”

“No church’ll do it.”

Book Reviews: Remnants Of Trust + Avatar Book One

Remnants Of Trust by Elizabeth Bonesteel
The 2nd ‘Central Corps’ novel is very good. It sees Elena Shaw face an attack on a sister ship, death, sabotage, treason and a terrible secret on a forgotten colony world. This saga does read like ‘Star Trek’ fan-fic rewritten to be an original novel but it is dark and compelling. The heroine whines and every man seems to have macho self-pity. Unseen string pullers have chilly malevolence and I hope there is more.

Best Lines:
“We have fought the syndicates for twenty generations.”

“A city that had gone cannibal.”

“One of her disapproving speeches.”

Star Trek Deep Space Nine: Avatar Book One Of Two by S.D. Perry
This 2001 novel began the ‘DS9’ relaunch. ‘Avatar’ was obviously 1 book split into 2 for money. This set the tone for the wildly inconsistent relaunch. Ezri and Bashir have pre-copulatory issues, Jake is dumb, Kira and Ro face a moral challenge, annoying new characters debut and the religious plot about who the responsible custodians of Bajoran religious authenticity are kicks off. There are insinuations, people issue dark threats and there is apprehension and rigid patterns of behaviour. This was so very dull and boring.
Sergio Balleseros

Arrow 5x17 + Eyewitness (2014) 1x01 + Helix 2x13 Reviewed

Oliver's prevailing attitude is smugness. There are more useless flashbacks about Kovar (Dolph Lungren). Oliver fell into error and Adrian Chase has reasonable grounds to hate him. Oliver is wholly false and Chase acts in cold-mannered ways. Oliver is absolutely abhorrent. This was not tense or dangerous and has no unsettling effect. John Barrowman shows up. People mumble and bad wigs are worn. There is no enduring appeal. Joy is not shared and Oliver is in a whole different league of trouble.

Blatant threats are made. Flashbacks show a greasy Oliver whining and otherwise engaging in anti-social behaviour. Chase is a merciless audience. Oliver tantrums. Artemis resurfaces. There is fighting. Oliver’s heroic crusade was a cover for his serial killing spree. There is another mention of Tommy. Oliver finally apologises to Chase. There is philistinism and no moral welfare. Nobody wondered where the mayor was for 6 days? Curtis annoys. Oliver and his emotional problems bore. This was not bold and unusual. Anatoly puts up with Oliver for unclear reasons.

Best Lines:
Very terrible.”

“That is a lie you tell yourself.”

Eyewitness (2014) 1x01
This Norwegian drama sees the aggressive normalcy and veneer of calm of a town disrupted. Two teenage boys who are gangly and surly make out in a shack in the woods. Obvious criminal types lurk and there is shooting. The teens have an apparent lack of interest in going to the cops. There is consternation and irritating adults. If you want a long life you are advised never to visit Scandi-land. This was inauspicious and not pertinent. A bitch gets smacked, undercover cops are obvious and bikers lurk.

There are cops, a biker ho, a baby and an awful woman. There is an NCIS mention and an AWFUL woman who ignores her foster son, snots at her husband and plays games with the investigation. There is a missing girl, a reporter, more bikies and this was not good. It was all miserable and despairing feelings.

Best Lines:
“I shot him.”
“What if you missed?”

“You turned up dressed as bikers and puked on the crime scene.”

“Came looking mean.”

O Brave New World
This was the final ever ep. Nobody seems sufficiently intelligent and Julia shot Alan. It is a shame that this show was discontinued. What’ll become of Sarah’s baby? We’ll never know. Kyle sadly doesn’t die. Amy is all melted. Nobody is truthful and authoritative. Peter didn’t live up to his lofty mission from 2x01. Amy’s crazy, where did the cultists go while the main characters ran around? Who is the baby Anne cradles? Nobody has benevolence or nurturance. Soren yells. Negative assumptions are made about Peter.

Peter’s co-workers are easily separated out emotionally from him. Soren can’t act. It is never explained how Hatake got to the island. How did Caleb learn Japanese? Hatake and Alan created TMX-7. Peter does more moral transgressions in this ep. Anne has transferred her comfort to Peter. Amy wants to settle disputes. There is a solemn reminder that Amy is wholly false. Sarah wants to work for Ilaria. Peter is an easy target for derision and things are declaimed dramatically.

Alan needs to get some perspective. Where did the gun come from? Alan won’t stop provoking Peter. This was unrealistic but the final scene of the apocalyptic havoc of the future has some punchy directness. Peter’s strategic patience cracks and he adjusts his expectations. Alan has no moral rigour. Peter faces an unhappy turn of fate. There is female bodily shame and Landry no longer wants Amy as his special comfort object. There is bad VFX. This does not entertain or reward.

What happened to the other cultists? Kyle attacks Peter, nobody cares. This is confirmatory evidence that everyone is horrible. What became of Landry? Caleb keeps asking that stupid question. Caleb’s true identity is revealed and it was obvious. This was ludicrous and infantile and increasingly deadened. Why did Caleb change his name? Why is Peter wearing Michael’s clothes? Julia learns she has been had. What’ll become of Anne and the baby? Kyle does something bad, nobody cares.

What’ll become of Peter? How can he take the fall for Alan’s crimes?!? Nothing makes sense. Sarah does Alan a favour, only he doesn’t see it that way. What became of Alan? We'll never know. Will Julia die of TMX-7? We’ll never know. In the future, Ilaria control human reproduction.  Does Julia know what Sarah did? Alan has typical ingratitude. There is a horrible, worsening mess that they dysfunctionally inhabit. Why do Julia, Sarah and Anne oblige men? There is no shadowy menace and this was not deliciously horrid.

The final scene set in 2029, shows how Ilaria do deliberate and considered evil. No wonder the TMX-7 plague was unleashed to stop them. Sarah is part of it. Did TMX-7 kill her? Ilaria breeds babies in women kept in glass cases and there are a lot of them. It is a high-tech version of what Michael did in his cellar. Why are immortals hiding their eyes if they rule the world? This was impressively awful, directionless and ignores fissures of personal history and bad faith.

Best Lines:
“That lunatic Peter.”

“What happened now?”

“Your love is going to kill me.”

“You are not my family.”
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