March 21st, 2017

Scary Books

Movie Review: The Empire Strikes Back

Star Wars Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Darth Vader searches for Luke, Leia kisses Luke, Yoda and his crap spiritual brilliance shows up and Luke seemingly has no peripheral vision. Luke wears what looks like an adult diaper in one scene and the creepy Imperial Walkers show up. There are 70s porn-tashes and everything inevitably explodes. There is a hint of Vader’s scars and scenes with Yoda, Lando and Han drag. There is big reveal that surely everyone knows, Luke goes into absolute shock and it ends on a cliffhanger. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Could be turned.”

“Offspring of Anakin Skywalker.”

“No, I am your father.”
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Book Review: The Long Mirage

Star Trek Deep Space Nine: The Long Mirage by David R. George III
It is 10 years (in universe) since ‘Avatar/Mission Gamma’ and the same religious crap drags on and on. I didn’t read the previous novel ‘Ascendance’ and this book is full of bizarre references to that novel that I do not understand or care about. This book has more religious crap, Kira steals Ro’s man, Nog obsesses over the Vic hologram and I don’t care about any of these plots. Kira doesn’t seem to care about Bashir’s fate and people babble about Morn.

The ‘DS9’ relaunch has been run off into a ditch and is all sheer intellectual dishonesty. There are pages and pages of Bajoran religious crap nobody cares about and TPTB are obsessed with Vic the stupid hologram everyone on DS9 worships. This book is essentially 3 useless plots nobody cares about. It is disconcerting how terrible, unnecessary and useless this was. Nobody cares about Vic and his self-determination. These protracted storylines create an unwieldy narrative that was obvious and plodding.

Best Lines:
“They’ve declared their borders closed to outsiders.”

“She despised an ever-growing list of things.”

Shades Of Blue 2x01 + Amerika (1987) part 12 + SS-GB 1x05 Reviewed

Harlee hides her dead ex’s body in a new grave. Woz is arrested and bothered by FBI slime aka Stahl. Who is Harlee’s helper? Harlee attacks the dead body with a chisel. Anna Gunn shows up as a cop turned mayoral candidate. Stahl walks around shirtless. Won’t the shot cop’s husband notice her bullet wound? People mumble. Woz is suddenly free and not so fond of Harlee anymore. Woz and Harley bother the mob. The DA whispers.

Stahl bothers a hooker. Woz and the mayoral wannabe (Gunn) had an affair and she’s his dirty boss. Woz has gotten over Donnie and nobody seems to wonder where Donnie is. Harlee burns the money and vows to take the right road. Did they change the actress playing Woz’s wife? Yes they did. The mafia don yells. Woz and Harlee have failing out and this was okay.

Best Lines:
“What did you agree to do?”

“Why not? You did.”

“Put a doughnut on a hook.”

“He runs Brooklyn.”

“Supported your ambitions.”

“I chose wrong.”

“Interesting dining utensil.”

“Highly suspicious blood trail.”
“I’m going to pretend I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“I need verbal confirmation.”

Amerika (1987) part 12
Peter has principled non-conformity. This doesn’t make a convincing case for its own existence. A woman screeches about America, oh terminate noise exchange. The USSR made a disagreeable intrusion into the USA. Hecklers have embittered self-righteousness. Soviets are destitute of all decency. This did not live up to the burden of expectation. Denisov puts on his uniform. There is a mention of Castro. The Soviets mention the possibility of using nukes and then the US government is wiped out en masse. There is a suicide and Denisov broods and loathes the very idea of it all.

This was ghastly. Denisov makes noises like he has bad constipation. Peter’s wife has seething silence and then tantrums. Peter shrieks about soldiers wanting good wages. Jackie dances. There is no careful patience or gallantry. This was underwhelming and had inconsolable gloom. This was dismayingly superfluous. Peter’s wife is savagely accusatory. This had no enduring appeal. There are moral failings and calculated outrage and antisocial tendencies and human consequences. Peter is overtly triumphalist. There are no moral resources. Peter gains status. It’s inextricably all about Devin. There is no emotive moral courage. This slow simmering tale is of no cultural significance.

Best Lines:
“Accept the inevitable.”

“Looking very important.”

“Reconsidered the consequences.”

“Try not to react.”

“Even the best of intentions.”

“Interim regional capital.”

“A secure and just society.”

“Give up some of our unrealistic hopes.”

“There is no America!”

“In spite of America’s defeat.”

“America will rise again.”

“We are not very good at running the world.”

“Hold out the hand of hope.”


SS-GB 1x05
TPTB leave it open-ended to set up a series 2 rather than following the book ending. George VI has no dignity and is moaning wreck with no strength, will or resolve. This was not artistically credible. Archer continues his minimal effective response to Nazis. He acts as though the occupation is a slight unpleasantness. There is no pathos and this was insufficient. This was not spare, direct or moving. Sexual danger Barbara has been quickly recognised as an enemy. Kellerman babbles.

There are nervous whispers and a sneering reference to a book plot. This was rage-inducing in its dumbness. This was a miserable experience. This is not a definitive interpretation of the book. One is increasingly frustrated. Archer is stiff and ill at ease and has no valiance. Worthless cur Kellerman roars. Nobody has effortless grace or charm. Kellerman acts far from amicably. Swaggery dude Huth is nowhere to be seen for ¾ of this. There are no terrible realities and Archer waves a rifle. Nobody is a calming influence. Why does Sylvia have to play nurse to George VI? There is smoking and this bored.

There is double dealing, servitude, subjugation, zombie moans from George VI and death. This was utterly bonkers and the phrase “only following orders” is used. What is the occupied region? Huth says the yanks will build the a bomb and finish the Reich. The Queen and princesses are in New Zealand (for now) and series 2 is set up. No thanks. The ending of the book is changed and what’ll become of Archer and his short-sighted callow idealism?

What’ll become of potential life companion Barbara? Oh who cares? And what of Archer’s oft neglected son? Logic is dispensed with. There is more death and Archer runs and Woods is forgotten. Oh just make it stop.

Best Lines:
“Not near enough.”

“A real pity, for him.”

“They’re bloody collaborators.”

“The game’s all up now.”

“I’m easily deceived.”

“Cut a pathetic figure.”

“How did you ever lose the war?”
“Perhaps we didn’t.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Big Little Lies’ promo

‘Shades Of Blue’ promo

‘Fierce Creatures’ (1996) promo

‘Before I Fall’ promo

‘The Shack’ promo

Gluten, wheat & milk free choc chip cookies- okay.

Workshy William and Duchess Do-little embarrass themselves again.

Houseguest spilt soup in the microwave twice. He says he doesn’t feel “loved’ and whines about “no loving community”. He leaves doors open, pokes at his tablet and yells at 11pm. He says he doesn’t have responsibility and won’t recycle. He rants about “my own plant on my own table” and other unpleasantries. One looks askance at this unedifying display. He whines about his partner and other things. Then goes on about his umbrella and “victimhood”. He denigrated his pub friend, ate pizza as a starter and yelled for sleeping pills and planned to steal from a restaurant. He once stole a sick cat’s food and now he stole an old man’s soup.

Recall ‘Killer Net’ or ‘She’s Out’?

Recall the 1986 US ‘Misty’ comic?

It’s 11 years since Richard Hammond’s high speed crash.

I will review ‘Parkland’ and ‘Grease 2’.

Recall Picture Story Librarys? Put out by ‘Bunty’, ‘Judy’, ‘Mandy’ and ‘Debbie’. I can recall ‘Betsy At Big-Top Hotel’: circus folk run a hotel. I never read ‘Sylvie Must Skate’, ‘The Secret Of Diane’s Desk’, ‘The Bravest Of Them All’, ‘Forbidden To Ride’ or ‘The Bell Must Ring’. I did read ‘My Mum’s A Stranger’: about a girl whose ma goes evil and abusive. I never read ‘The Face In The Crystal’ or ‘Stella’s Step Into Time’. I recall ‘The Perils Of Pauline On The Planet Where Time Stood Still’: about a badly dressed girl with a bubble perm who ends up on an alien world. I think I read ‘The New Girl’ which was about a girl bullied at her posh new school and ‘The Truth About Trudy’s Teacher’ which I recall nothing about.

‘The Other Kay Wilson’ was about double trouble. ‘Ashamed Of Her Mum’ was about a girl ashamed of her mother. I never read ‘School Of The Shadow’, ‘The Green Lady’, ‘The Wild One’, ‘Me And My Imagination’, ‘Steffi On A String’, ‘The Watcher In The Woods’, ‘Follow The Blue Baton’, ‘The Shop At Shudder Corner’, ‘The Outsiders’, Prisoner Of The Ballet’, ’Mirror Image’, ’School Of Shadows’, ’That’s My Pony’, ’The Black Book’, ’Framed!’, ’Clare Of Witch Hill’, ’The Seeker’, ’The New Girl’s Secret’, ’The Time Leapers’, ’Run, Nippers, Run!’, ’The Kidnapped Castaways’, ’The Strange Changes In Jenny Jones’, ’Fran’s Secret Friend’, ’I Won’t Share With Shirley’ or ‘School For Outcasts’.

I did read ‘Slaves Of The Teasets’ about child labour in a pewter factory and how letters stamped on spoons for a princess save them. ‘Joy Of The Gym‘; was about gymnastics. ‘Dolly’s Dolphin’ was about a girl who rode a dolphin. ‘The Girl At The Window’ was about a kidnapping. ‘Rachel’s Runaways’ and ‘The Return Of Big Sister’ were read but I can’t recall them. I didn’t read ‘The Chosen One’, ‘Dana’, ‘The Witch Wagon’, ‘Dorcas And The Dark Lady’, ‘A Pigeon Called Peg’, ’The Traitor’s Daughter’, ’Great Aunt Gerrie’s Ghost’, ’Fay Of The Footlights’ or ’The Star Stealer’.

I did read ‘The Silver Scorpions’: about a band who sing to get a girl out of a coma. I didn’t read ‘She Lived To Tell A Tale’, ’Barefoot Champion’, ’Intruders At St Judes’ or ‘The Girl In The Tower’. I did read ‘Ashamed Of Her Sister’ about a girl ashamed of her elder sister who is wrongly accused of stealing a trophy by breaking open the school trophy cabinet with scissors. I read ‘Cobweb Academy’ about a girl learning the dusty attic of a Victorian school and ‘Beware The Grey Guardians’ about a secret society. ‘Who Is Astra?’ was about a girl bothered by the evil AU version of her family.

I never read ‘Nightmares’, ‘The Ghost Seekers’, ‘She’s My Friend’, ‘Time-Witch’, ‘The Name They Hate!’ or ‘The Phantom Runner Of The Firs’. I read ‘Transatlantic Schoolgirl’: about a UK girl who goes to school in the US on an exchange programme and meets ugly Americans while being clueless. I never read ‘One Jump Ahead...’, ‘Cathy’s Crystal Ball’, ‘Fear From The Past’, ‘That Girl’s Me!’. ‘The Door To Yesterday’, ‘The House Of Mirrors’, ‘Fear Behind The Footlights’, ‘The Witchfinder’, ‘I’ll Show Them!’, ‘Name Unknown’, ‘Missing Star’ or ‘Dancer In Hiding’.

I always wanted to read ‘That Girl Next Door!’: who had an enemy who planned her downfall. I never read ‘She Lived To Tell A Tale!’. I read ‘Where Are The Children?’ about a florist who goes undercover as a slum dweller to find missing children. I recall ‘The Changing World Of Julie Jackson’ which was about time travel and people dressing like a 70s roller disco. I never read ‘The Not-So-Happy Birthday Present’. I read ‘Vanishing Vicky’ about a girl who turned invisible and pretended to be a ghost. I never read ‘Two Sides To Penny’, ‘Constance The Cat’, ‘Petra’s Prison’, ‘Mystery Manson’, ‘The Shadow Of Doom’ or ‘Pacific Peril’. I read ‘Tara’s Terrible Twin’ about a girl who fakes having a bad twin by donning a new wave hairdo. She’s not into understanding stuff and has festering anger. She ends up dejected and alone.

Never read ‘Candy and Kay’, ‘The Black Cloud’, ‘The Girl With No Name’, ‘Under The Green Glacier’ or ‘The Clifford Cup’. I did read ‘Grappling Gertie’ about a female teacher who moonlights as a wrestler and is uncovered by 2 students. ‘The Secret Skater Of St Kits’ was about a secret ice skater. ‘A Ghost In The Family’ was about a family who gain an Elizabeth ghost. ‘She Lived To Dance’ was about a ballerina. ‘Never Give Up, Hope!’ was about a girl who wanted to join the lifeboat crew. I never knew that ‘Bunty’ was aimed at working class girls.

I never read ‘The Girl From Smugglers Cave’. I read ‘Peggy From Pegasus’ which was about a burger eating space horse. ‘Mog’ was about a cat that saved a school. ‘Snapshot Selina’ was about a photographer. ‘The Phantom Swimmer’ was duh. ‘Ballerina From The Backstreets’ was about a street tough becoming a ballerina. ‘The Riddle of the Chinese Bowl’, ‘Wendy In The Wilderness’, ‘Suzy’s Supergran’ and ‘Bleak Days At Blake House’ bored. ‘Hopeless Hope, She’s No Dope’ was about a fat girl. I don’t recall reading ‘The Enchanted Necklace' or ‘Ruth and the Ravens’. I read ‘Pandora’s Box’ which was about buttons and their stories. ‘Wendy’s Secret War’ was about mind controlled schoolgirls. ‘Queen For A Year’ was about a beauty queen and ‘Poor Little Rich Girl’ was about a Victorian aristocrat ending up a mill slave. I never read ‘They’re Letting Girls Into St Justin’s!’.

‘The Spectator’ Quotes:
“Camilla is a mistress made good.”

“Charles marrying his mistress.”

‘The Wild Angels’ Quote:
“We want to be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man. And we wanna get loaded.”

‘Sunday Impendent’ Quotes:
“Compatible with continued life.”

“Their final confrontation.”

“Regret is poisonous.”

“Disgraced herself.”

“Bringing shame.”

“No impact marks of significance.”

“Interception capabilities.”

“Never stated officially.”

“Beyond normal human capacity.”

“Vendetta-torn enclave.”

“Religious respectability.”

“Houses of ill fame.”

“Few bother to denigrate today.”

‘Wild Cities’ Quotes:
“What does pollinate mean?”

“Human dominated environment.”

“Get medicine sent over from the national fox welfare society.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“People do their best work after they’re old and forgotten.”

“Refund your money in the form of acorns.”

“Fat-man begins.”

“Coffin suit.”

“Anthony’s wieners.”

“You’re stupid now.”

“Stop forcing banter.”

“She nut-butted me.”

‘The Ninth Rain’ Quotes:
“My grandfather told me stories of the Carrion Wars.”

“She must have seen the Winnowry agents flying over the city on their own bats.”

“Something approaches that bears us ill.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Exclusion from public life.”

“Give excuses rather than seek to understand.”

“Grievances “suit a narrative”.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“I respect your form of questioning.”

“Vegan fried chicken shop.”

“Crowds on the pavement meant a pub fight had spilled on to the kerb.”

“Personal restoration.”

‘An Misean Sa Tsin’ Quotes:
“What was the ransom?”

On ‘Neighbours’: no one seems to recall how Steph was wrongly convicted of smothering her grandfather. Piper bitches and has a whole new look despite having no money. Tyler has lost his latest drudge work job. Piper sneers with contemptuous ease, she has malignant glee. Toadie follows his ill-advised beliefs to London and created disharmony. He utterly rejects any semblance of dignity and RAGES at and ignores Sonya. Toadie is a blind rage cos fake ‘Dee’ is his ardent erotic inspiration. He’s morally bankrupt.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Holly and Dirk rage at Cindy. Marnie RAGES at Lisa. She has truculence. Elly has self serving whinges. Lisa feels shame and disgrace and I wish Scott would end up in somebody’s car boot. Nobody has moral discipline. This was not intriguing. Nick faces negative effects. Marnie is confrontational but not soaked in morals. Nobody has love, emotional closeness or respect. Where is Ryan? Doesn’t he know violent Ste has moved into HIS house to ‘help’ Amy raise the kids? I feel widespread dissatisfaction with this show. Marnie is all insincerity. Elly has profound and melancholic beauty. Marnie plots to send Mac to jail.

Best Lines:
“Stealing off a woman with a brain injury.”

“Least trustworthy kid in the village.”

“His fancy woman.”

“Craving male attention like oxygen.”