March 10th, 2017

Sergio Balleseros

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Life’ TV spot
This ISS crew find alien life film has Ryan Reynolds and some bloke from ‘Helix’. Mmm.

Best Line:
“How smart is this thing?”

‘Kong: Skull Island’ TV spot

‘The Void’ has a tagline: there is a hell, this is worse. I wanna see it!

Houseguest makes a mess in the kitchen, makes tremendous amounts of noise, whines and demands bread while breathing too loudly. He is thankless and rude. He stole someone else’s cutlery while it was in use. He steals food and wants French regional cooking - oh get lost. He has a friend who called our home “dreary” - die. Houseguest rants about curry and salt and popcorn and steals more food.

‘The Night Manager’ is coming back. Why? How?

What is shrobing?

The Azure Window has collapsed and I never saw it.

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“A concluded view.”

“Is not an innocent concept.”

‘The Gloss Magazine’ Quotes:
“Society was pleased with you for being pregnant.”

“It’s all very well writing about the death of Anne Boleyn.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:

“Not an uncommon form of conduct in those days.”

“Thought showers.”

“Drunkenly shout and swear and harangue.”

“Imprint brand loyalty.”

“Assertion of value.”

“Withdraw at times of high irritation,”

“When you secede from the collective,”

“That’s what women are for, to have sex.”

“Reduced to her sexual function.”

“Leveraging her maternal love against her-”

“She had no reputation to lose.”

“Well loud.”

“Their silent moments.”

“As if that was the only end and aim of a woman’s life,”

‘Eastenders’ Quotes:
“Playground currency.”

“Justified response.”

“Quite far away from A Star standard.”

“This life and we are not welcome.”

“Your willy!”

“If you snake on them.”

“Has he been fighting again?”

“Threatening to tell tales you can’t prove.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“You whale Shamu!”

“Lying on me!”

“Cause if I was a prostitute, I wouldn’t be broke!”

“Failed 3 consecutive drug tests.”

“Do it without the drama.”

“Rage based aggressive language.”

“You’re so not listening.”

‘Hungry Ghosts’ Quotes:
“It’s currently on fire. I set the fire.”

“Lately, I’ve been wondering if I might be worse people.”

“Her will made flesh.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Toadie is selfish. Any day now he and ‘Dee’ will run off to the UK. ‘Dee’ bitches about Sonya to thicko Karl. Fat Terese is awful. ‘Dee’ stirs the pot. Why is Toadie so stupid? Toadie has no consideration. ‘Dee’ hurls herself at Toadie and he makes faces. ‘Dee’ is the c word. Karl sticks his nose in. Leo is broke? Toadie ignores his wife. I HATE Steph. Who is Clive? Who is Gail? Toadie cries. He wants ‘Dee’ - lord he can’t act.

Best Lines:
“The special cutlery.”
“The ones we got out for dad’s parole dinner?”

“Unacknowledged and ignored.”

“Making a decision that you can’t come back from.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: There is lederhosen. Myra bitches. Where is Matthew? John-Paul is not deeper and darker. John-Paul decides to leave. There is no emotional intensity. John-Paul has crushing consistency in being awful. He doesn’t tell his family that he cheated on James. I feel passionate hate for John-Paul. He has a job he abandons and a son he takes out of school and drags off to Singapore.

He acts like his morals are utterly beyond reproach. Sally stares. Nick resurfaces. John-Paul is a chronic failure who brings derision on himself. John-Paul and Ste hang out. John-Paul acts like he is the wounded party and more or less humps Ste’s leg. John-Paul does not apologise to James. He demands attention and flattery. Sally rang Ste, not James to inform him that John-Paul was leaving. People treat James terribly.

McHay is a joke. Nobody cares about James. John-Paul says he needs to put himself first, he always puts himself first. He is awful. Cleo is foul. John-Paul heads off to Singapore full of self pity. This was crap. On the plane John-Paul laughs James off as an emotionally stunted lawyer and gets a call from Craig. Oh FECK TPTB. John-Paul is cruel, horrible and I hope he dies.

Cleo gets high. John-Paul is gone from the opening credits. John-Paul didn’t even tell James he was leaving the country. Sally finally tells him. James is upset. No one notices. Poor James. Cleo screeches and Adam has festering bitterness. Nick is nasty. John-Paul has done many atrocious acts, but abandoning James is one of the worst. Maxine makes demands of Neeta. Cleo gets high with tattooed Bart.

The stark polemic on drugs is silly. James burns John-Paul’s polyester clothes. Warren RAGES. Sienna lurks. Holly’s hair is the colour of pee. Where is Kim? Fraser Black is mentioned. James wears very skinny trousers, drinks and cries as sad music plays. He draws the blinds so no-one can see. The pain is obvious. Dirk seems not to care that Will is dead. Where is Minnie? Warren RAGES at Joel.

Best Lines:
“Shout to be heard.”

“A stranger in my own home.”

“I’ve got a commitment to god.”

Book Reviews: Cathedral + Shadows Fall + And The Ass Saw The Angel

Star Trek Deep Space Nine Mission Gamma #3: Cathedral by Michael A. Martin and Andy Mangels
This 2002 entry in the ‘DS9’ relaunch is embarrassing. Someone is dead due to Shar’s selfishness and spiteful treatment. Nog, Ezri and Bashir visit an alien artefact and have unfortunate reactions to it. There is calm acceptance of the bizarre. This was dull, plodding, boring and ‘Abyss’ is a better examination of Bashir’s uneasy perfection. This book was not necessitated.

Best Lines:
“Gods help any other alien crew who happen to blunder into it.”

“A child who will now never come to be.”

Shadows Fall by Simon R. Green
This 1994 novel is about a small town where magic and legends go to die. This is like a kid’s book with excessive violence. This was dull, boring and with a stupid ending.

Best Lines:
“Tended to glare at everyone menacingly.”

“In Shadows Fall mothers tell their children to be good, or Jack Fetch will come for them. And sometimes he does.”

“Believes people like me should be banned on general principles.”

“Mirren screamed for a long time, and then he died. And then the screaming began again.”

And The Ass Saw The Angel by Nick Cave
This is as vile as ‘The White Hotel’. This is a tale of violence, filth, incest and death that is not bleak, witty, twisty or sharp. It’s written in bizarre patois and this rural despair is horrid and wretched. How did this get published?

Best Lines:

“Crazed with the effects of mountain liquor and pilfered petrol sniffed from jam-tins.”

Amerika (1987) Part 11 + Timeless 1x13 + Arrow 5x15 Reviewed

Amerika (1987) Part 11
Devin is on a plane. Peter and Marian have a rally and the Central Area Heartland is set up. People look for William. There is evil speaking and bad acting. Devin is instinctively hostile to sense. The Heartland has a naff anthem. This drags on and on. William hides in a 130 year old hole. Hope seems unachievable. Devin STARES. People talk and talk and talk, mostly about how Devin craps moonbeams and rainbows.

Amanda stares. A shotgun is wielded. Drama is undercut by a scrunch dried perm. The Soviets have a conspiracy to intimidate. The Milfords house is burnt down. Why did the deep state let Devin live? There is no steady judgement, Marian wails, where is Jackie’s boyfriend and this was boring. A reporter says Devin is the man.

Best Lines:
“The corrupt reminder of the past.”

“We know that lie. History teaches us that lie.”

“Mourn the past.”


“I will ask you once last time.”

“Disruption groups.”

“Build on this.”

“Rendered almost without purpose.”

Karma Chameleon
Wyatt is crazy and a murderer. Nothing is rectified. Anthony gets retired by Flynn. Lucy meets her mad dad, again. This was mediocre. Flynn and his gang worry about social stability. Wyatt and Rufus do dumb perilous crap. 80s stewardess uniforms are worn. Lucy is dim. People didn’t wear seatbelts in the 80s? Mason does a prolonged and evil course of conduct. Wyatt and Rufus try to affect the formation of a relationship and make things worse.

Best Lines:
“I missed beer.”

“This is an existential threat to reality.”

“I’m not sure how to respond to that.”

Fighting Fire With Fire
Vigilante attacks. Felicity and Thea are smug and vile. Chase sneers. Quentin is ever useless. Susan is bitter. Oliver deserves everything bad he gets. Curtis is gross. Who is that doctor fawning over Oliver? Dinah lies. Oliver lets anyone into his secret yet treated Tommy horribly for knowing his secret back in season 1. Prometheus and Vigilante fight. Chase is Prometheus; I was so sure it would be Tommy Merlyn. There are more useless flashbacks. Where is Wild Dog? Blue beams of light are used to track Vigilante. Oliver throws Green Arrow under a bus. Stupid costumes are worn. Susan gets her job back but is imperilled by Chase. Paul gives the noxious Curtis divorce papers. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I’m really sorry.”
“Are you?”