January 22nd, 2017


Blindspot 2x10 + Bones 12x01 Reviewed

Nor I, Nigel, AKA Leg In Iron
There is a tattoo missing from Jane’s body. The shrink, Borden, is the Sandstorm mole and he bests Kurt in hand to hand combat and menaces Patterson. Jane gives the violent thug Roman magic amnesia. Patterson has been shot. Sandstorm insist their purpose is moral. This was gleefully ephemeral.

Even with amnesia, weirdbeard Roman annoys. Their foster mommy shrieks and Dr Borden bores. Patterson has vast sorrow and scorn. Borden has no peaceful intent. There are unintended consequences. Borden is purely opportunistic. This was not precisely observed and has a wilful refusal to make sense. Angry yells. Patterson faces a violation of trust and a discomfiting situation. There is no wonderful ferocity. Nobody is morally justified. I think I’m done with this show. What is up with Kurt?

Roman is a waste of perfectly good oxygen. Nobody sounds contrite. There is reckless disregard and bad angry feelings. There is also bad acting, hostile enemies, aggressive natures, baffled stares and unexploded reservoirs of resentment. This was egregious and languishes. This was worthless and has no real world settings or concerns. This had unsubtle political statements and obligatory narcissism. There are no dramatic possibilities and maximum tension is not wrung. This show is increasingly preposterous.

People are deeply unhelpful and they have arrogance and self interest and deliberate hostility. This does not engage its own era. There is no escalating tension. The plot is beyond rational explanation. Patterson has vague irritation as her prettified illusions break. Borden hid his seething hatred and disunion well. This was not emotionally engaging and was not a lurid adventure. Kurt is not a competent man. This was a ghastly failure that is incoherent, hilarious and ridiculous. This does not cover important moral issues, motives or purposes. I’m done with this show. Also Borden wasn’t even his real name and the FBI never noticed.

Best Lines:
“Rough draft Jane.”

“Very not promising.”

“The book code.”

“He’s still crucial to the endgame.”

“What this is all for.”

“Are you slow or something?”

“Sense of region.”

“Creeper name.”

“He didn’t even go to a very good medical school.”

The Hope In The Horror
Bones and Booth hunt a serial killer. Booth menaces people and Bones is abducted by a fat angry Zack who lurks in the shadows like Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now’. This was goofy ridiculousness that does not disconcert. They stopped visiting Zack years ago and he has unloved status. He’s escaped the asylum but is not utterly terrifying. This show is not much at home to subtlety. Booth rants in non morally nuanced fashion.

Beardy dude is still in a wheelchair. There is mumbling, no sense of theatre and drama and people act like Zack is their greatest dread. There is no narrative sanity and Zack has an unsettled state of mind. Booth has poisonous brutality. There is no moral quandary as Booth has sledgehammer vehemence. Sara Rue of ‘Popular’ shows up. People act paranoically. This was ineffective. Zack has ulterior motives. Booth is an ass.

This was not quietly nightmarish. Zack has savage candour. Booth and Bones have 2 kids? Zack has omnipotent powers. Sara Rue has lost a lot of weight and all her acting skills. Zack has no signals of goodwill. Nothing particularly optimistic happens. People are unreasonable. This was ludicrous and has no moral arguments. Booth has exhausted derision. There is no master narrative. This was undistinguished and godawful. Zack appeals his case.

Best Lines:
“Innocent people don’t escape from sanatoriums.”

“In a non-adversarial climate.”

“Please stop following me.”

“Being perceived as a murderous cannibal.”

“Communicating with someone of lesser intellect is difficult for me.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Tracks + Maleficent + 8 others

Tracks (2013)
In 1970s Australia, there is dust, sand, sunlight and feral camels. A woman plans to walk thousands of miles across the desert. Rick (Adam Driver) photographs her trek. There is whining and more whining and she seems to be a mental case. This bored.

Best Lines:
“Six months of hard walk.”

“Don’t have to be unlucky to die out there.”

“Camel lady.”

“Taking photos of secret business.”

“Nice people confound me.”

Maleficent (2014)
Angelina Jolie stars in this retelling of ‘Sleeping Beauty’. It is done with boring pretentious grim relish. A man betrays his fairy friend for power and lives to regret it.

Best Lines:
“It was not to be.”

“He sought to strike it down.”

“She remembered not.”

“Winged elf.”

Breaking The Waves (1996)

The Peacemaker (1997)

Alexander (2004)

A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

To Die For (1995)

xXx (2002)

Darkman (1990)

Hostel (2005)
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Book Review: Unity

Star Trek Deep Space Nine: Unity by S.D. Perry
This 2003 novel saw the ‘DS9’ relaunch come to a climax after ‘The Lives Of Dax’, ‘Avatar 1&2’, ‘Abyss’, ‘Demons of Air and Darkness’ and ‘Mission: Gamma 1-4’. It concluded certain storylines, saw Bajor join the Federation, saw returns and set up new storylines. But it is all disinteresting and the regrettable conclusion is this fateful novel marked the high point of the relaunch. It’s been downhill ever since. Kira broods, Vaughn and Prynn continue their endless difficult to resolve conflict, Ro and Quark bore and Shar is selfish.

It is 12 years since the ‘TNG’ ep ‘Conspiracy’. Now the mind-controlling bugs are back and this was a wasted storyline. Taran’atar lurks, another useless wasted storyline. Kira’s religious issues drag on. Keiko and O’Brien continue their apparent reluctance to be happy, Ezri is tolerable before her disconcerting personality change turned her into a misleading, false, deceptive tool. Nog and Jake are comically reductive. Bashir has moral sensibility. It is upsetting and frustrating to see how everyone garlands themselves with praise in this novel yet in later novels Bashir’s ‘friends and co-workers’ would treat him with distaste, culpable neglect and make incorrect conclusions about him.

This dull novel has no subtleties of reflection or organic anticipation or escalating tension. One feels despairing anger for the limitations TPTB put on the relaunch which they’ve made clear isn’t their prerogative. This was far from exemplary, it just disappointed. TPTB seem uninterested in the ‘DS9’ relaunch.

Best Lines:
“Containment was necessary at any cost.”

“Even after what’s happened, even now.”

“He was unnecessary.”

“Conspiracy equalled paranoia,”

“A lot of people knew about Curzon, and a lot of what they knew wasn’t exactly flattering.”

“Well past the possibility of salvation.”

“Stealing the future they had all imagined.”

“They didn’t seem all that fond of anyone else, either.”

“I assure you, Quark’s is vermin-free unless it’s on the menu.”

“My guilt is my own. She can’t have it.”
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘House of Cards’ season 5 promo

‘Blade Runner 2049’ promo

‘Red Rock’ promo

‘To Die For’ (1995) promo
When Nicole Kidman made films you wanted to see.

‘xXx’ (2002) promo

‘Paycheck’ (2003) promo

‘Hostel’ (2005) promo

‘The Prince Of Tides’ (1991) promo

‘Twin Town’ promo

‘The Blacklist’ promo

Hot buttered toast - yum.
Yellow plums - nice.
Chocolate orange death doughnut - yum.
Gluten free chocolate chip shortbread rounds - okay.
Rhubarb & custard candy - okay.

I won’t read ‘Carve The Mark’.

RIP Miguel Ferrer.

I will review ‘The Feast Of All Souls’, ‘The Mammoth Book Of The Mummy’ and ‘Warlock Holmes: A Study In Brimstone’.

Houseguest screamed about his man pain at 1 in the morning and then festered in bed. Nobody cares about his disgusting scene. Then he demanded support. House guest was apparently “very upset” and “near tears” but somehow that doesn’t stop him from going out to buy alcohol, drinking it and making a mess. He also declared that his partner of 30 plus years is not the one and wails about having no money and being alone. He whines about being made to go to his sister’s wedding in 1981 which was full of people he had nothing in common with. Pathetic.

No ‘American Crime Story’ until 2018? And they’re doing Lewinsky?

Wanna see ‘Oliver & Company’.

I wanna see ‘Petals On The Wind’.

Anyone see the 1996 ‘Bed of Roses’?

James Frain is to play Sarek in ‘Star Trek: Discovery’.

Faye Dunaway was in ‘The Bye Bye Man’. I thought it was her but couldn’t be sure.

Heard a Richard Armitage rumour.

Recall when Rage Against The Machine were described as proudly leftist and the most dangerous band in America?

White lemuroid ringtail possums are cute.

‘Warlock Holmes: A Study In Brimstone’ Quote:
“Really, Holmes, the quality of people you associate with leaves much to be desired.”

‘The Irish Times:
“Historically disproportionate.”

“A dirty person.”

“Huge anger issues.”

“Questions were a threat.”

“Presumed missed.”

“This led to the route being lined with dead pigeons.”

“Had to escape out a window.”

“Inching her out the door.”

“If you stop you won’t regret it.”

“Followed his ascension to power with a six-week hunting holiday.”

“Wall of meat.”

“Wasting her life helping people.”

“Show me how I can become this person.”

“Defensive posturing.”

“Shamefully treated as actions deserving of reprimand and punishment.”


“Calculated theatre.”

“Ideology of betrayal.”

“Non-cooperative with process.”

“Geography is a problem.”

“A fight ensued on the street.”

“Backwoods social values.”

“This place gets mad.”

“Felt threatened and shocked.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Meant making some uncomfortable choices.”

“Despair is no excuse for inaction.”

“Within one generation.”

“Complete nest failure.”

“Unique evolutionary unit.”

“Snow dens.”

“Bleaching-level thermal stress.”

“Their interrogation technique involves asking someone a question and, as soon as they surmise they are lying, saying thank you and walking off.”

“Punished with their removal.”

“Epidemics can ruin societies.”

“The crap that we went through - we didn’t want any more of it.”

“Vindicate her reputation.”

“Provided security in return for free beer.”

“The latest instalment in some never ending space saga fans feel duty bound to see.”


“Portal to nostalgia.”

“Refuse airtime to the trappings of life today.”

“Unwanted resonance.”

“Its own historical importance.”

“What is this, eastern Europe in the early 90s?”

3 News’ Quote:
“Hush. Go home.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“This marriage is rotting with the stench of death.”

“Stinking like a trashcan in a dog park.”

‘Channel 4 News’ Quotes:
“8 of these things.”

“Forgotten land of Americans crushed by layers of sadness.”

“That’s what they want to live in.”

“The other America.”

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Lamely give up as we go over a cliff.”

“Not going to forgive them.”

“Required display of civility.”

‘Blood On My Hands’ Quotes:
“Slaps, punches, then all-out fistfights.”

“People around town began to avoid us.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Get off the Dew.”

“Overdependent on her.”

“Constantly needs your attention.”

“Purposely pushing me out of the picture.”

“No access to joy.”

“Generational legacy.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“People are closed off in their homes. They don’t come out.”

“Dangerous mistakes.”

“Deliberate denigration of fact.”

“Lost any claim to trust or respect.”

“Walks with a wheeled robot on a leash.”

“Came to despise her Windsor-wife ensembles.”

“Eating his own emotional vomit.”

“Dares us to object.”

“Fragility of social existence.”

On ‘Neighbours’: who is the father of Paige’s baby? Drab is shocked by his slutty love child. Paige scene steals, Xanthe whines and nobody has clear eyed perception. Drab thinks Tyler is the father of Paige’s bastard child. Lauren whines. Tyler walks around in his latest foul t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off that show off his nipples and wonders why everyone thinks he is a joke. Tyler looks like Jason David Frank in 1996. Piper doubts Tyler and cries. I don’t care about their uncertain future. Paige sluts it up and is a bitch to Ned. Tyler lurks.

Drab and Lauren are thick. This show continues its slide to mediocrity. Everyone is trapped in a negative cycle. Nobody cares Piper and Tyler’s gnawing soul wrenching ‘love’. Is Jack the father? Or is Paige lying again? There is no level she will not go to. There is no reflective despair. Terese is fatter than ever. Drab forgets about Imogen. Gary bores. When did Mark ever worry about over-stepping? Toadie obsesses over not dead Dee. Then Dee shows up at the door. Sonia cries and Toadie wants a shag.

Best Line:
“Those shirtless Brennans.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: why is ‘smart’ Cleo working in a pub? What about Mac beating James? Nancy’s MS is back. Ellie tantrums and acts crazy. She is all incomprehensibility. Louis is emotionally difficult. This show is a grave mistake. Lisa’s not gutted with remorse for screwing Mac. Nathan cheats with Cleo. Lisa has self righteous anger and is accusatory. Nathan has no self reproach. Illness is never far reaching. There is no grim seriousness. There is no escalating tension just consistently irritated people. This was unspeakably dreadful. Nancy rants. This was self parodic. Cameron plans to kill Leela for being a cheating whore.