January 1st, 2017


Blindspot 2x07 + Harry Price: Ghost Hunter Reviewed

Resolves Eleven Myths
Rich Dotcom is back and the FBI has more atrocious judgement. Rich is running from a super-assassin. This was a valiant failure. There are lies and Jane has issues. There is no social learning. Jane beats up a dude and Tasha is in peril. I’ll stick with this a while longer.

Best Line:
“A urinal cake, hopefully from the supply closet.”

Harry Price: Ghost Hunter (2015)
Notorious ghost hunter Harry Price is summoned to investigate when an MP’s wife acts out. This ITV drama is full of wilful nattering and has no depth or detail and was not done in a quiet thoughtful way. This was unlovely and had no bleeding inner torment, pain, poignancy or playfulness. The MP has innate hostility. This was frustrating, inert and low energy and caused deep dissatisfaction.

This was not genuinely meaningful. This was heinous and infuriating and full of truly horrible people. Who is the mastermind conspirator behind all this? Who do you think? This was stupid, badly acted and obvious.

Best Line:
“You didn’t love her. You wanted her. There’s a difference.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: The Empty Chair + The Murmur Of Masks

Star Trek The Original Series: The Empty Chair by Diane Duane
A lame wrap up to the saga that began with ‘My Enemy, My Ally’.

The Murmur Of Masks by Catherine Kullmann
This self-published pap is a Regency romance about a spineless woman married to a man with a secret. Another ego-mad man fervidly fancies her in between his over-concern for the poor. He is awful. People are snob-ridden and this was badly written with laughable love scenes and a silly plot.
Pretty Smart

6 Movie Reviews

The Beaver (2011)
A hopelessly depressed man ignores his wife (Jodie Foster) and sons. The nihilistic man (Mel Gibson) is heinous and his eldest son (Anton Yelchin) has an ignorable sub-plot. The man gets a hand puppet that talks in a cockney accent and seems to fix all his issues. This was not dynamic, complex or tense as the useless man seems to do well but naturally it all goes awry. This was okay.

It had no smartness or insights and was earnest and self-indulgent. Grimmer questions emerge and this was a damning picture of social ills. The man has menace, bristling self-hatred and a dark purpose. He is a loon. Jennifer Lawrence is in the useless subplot.

Best Lines:
“A talking hamster.”

“Drown out the reality.”

“He said I was a ball-licker.”

“He got me out of the dumpster.”

“What knows.”

“Dropping a telly on your head.”

“I’m not talking to you nut job.”

“We’ll make the turd.”

“Very high degree of scepticism.”

“I don’t want you to call.”

“People seem to love a train wreck, when it’s not happening to them.”

It Came From Beneath The Sea (1955)
Ray Harryuhausen did the effects for this tale of a giant octopus attack. A nuclear sub sails around unaware of a potential threat object. Defeating it seems beyond humanity’s current capabilities. Bad actors with flat effect stare at dated vfx. Their war weapons can’t take on the octopus. One felt disengagement from this appalling and truly awful film.

Best Lines:
“Nothing hot in here Sir.”

“You people work hard.”

“It’s our job.”

“Take her deep.”

“It’s no whale sir.”

The Man Who Would Be King (1957)

The Siege At Ruby Ridge (1966)

Henry V (1989)

Big Miracle (2012)

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Magicians’ season 2 trailer
Silly outfits, magic and hand waving in Fillory. There is a card catalogue and Julia sulks. There are Kings and Queens and a sneering ineffectual baddie. This looks good.

Best Lines:
“We only look whimsical.”

“That is crazy vague.”

“We’re alive. Deal.”

“Help you rule it.”

“12 year old me is crying.”

“Get over yourself Ned Stark.”

‘La La Land’ TV spot

‘19 Kids and Counting’ promo

‘A Nightingale Falling’ promo

Garlic pepper - nice.
Gluten free lemon slices - okay.
Caramel - yum.
Caramel bite - yum.
Hazel in caramel - okay.
Country fudge - okay.
Hazel whirl - okay.
Irish Artisan goat cheese - yum.
Brazilian darkness - yum.
Dark chocolate with caramel filling blended with passion fruit compote - okay.
Fig cake - okay.

The Arctic Weasel is oddly cute, the Arctic vole is tiny. Wolverines are fugly.

Anyone have the 1978 Princess Leia doll with the leaflet about other ways to do her hair?

The new cover for the ‘Kong: Skull Island’ novelisation is bad. The previous art was way better.

Who has seen the Emperor’s Warriors?

Josie Lawrence is still on the go.

The FORMER houseguest continues to malinger in hospital, claiming to be cold and yet won’t wear the pyjamas that cost 60 that were bought for him. He is a SHAMELSS FAKER.

‘Peter Pan Gone Wrong’ was hilarious.

‘Sky News’ Quotes:
“Brutally ignore.”

“I find that troubling.”

“Quit stealing from me and taking my job to China.”

“Disfavoured second class citizens.”

“Imposes costs.”

“National hangover service.”

“Overcome that detestation.”

“Pipped for 2nd by the stuffed horse.”

‘Life In The Snow’ Quotes:
“Nothing can hear it coming.”

“Where the frost can’t reach.”

“There are predators here.”

‘Natural World’ Quote:
“Watch forlornly from a safe distance.”

‘Teen Mom 2’ Quote:
“Felony heroin.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Content with conformity.”

“A desire for retribution.”

“He once lived in a storage room for weeks so he might convey isolation.”

“I was not fun to be around.”

“Bring some science and structure.”

“That’s a lot of jerks.”

“Fantasies that take in a Cabbage Patch lunchbox.”

“Less awful.”

“Avatars of clean-cut Eisenhower-era prosperity.”

“Journeys toward sunny uplands.”

“She smells like wet coats.”

“Not unless granny eats hers outside in the garden.”

“Instant-outrage mob culture.”

“Stupid greeting”


“Immoral actions.”

“Fewer new words when they are not required.”

“Ascribing unpleasant decisions to others.”

‘The Big Bang Theory’ Quotes:
“It’s not funny anymore James!”
“Then why am I laughing?”

‘The Lost Boys’ Quote:
“Are you freebasing? Enquiring minds want to know.”

‘Modern Family’ Quote:
“Not a story. A thing that happened.”

‘Blackadder III’ Quote:
“I’ll do anything to anything.”

‘The Inbetweeners’ Quote:
“Hard kids at the back.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Jack confronts Eva. I’m sure he is her actual daddy. Harry is a thug. Ste is orange. Ryan is no longer falling under Amy’s judgement. Ste has never genuinely repented anything he did to Amy, Doug or John-Paul. Are Ste and John-Paul still married? Harry plans to propose to Ste. Are we supposed to see Ste/Harry as a super-couple? Kim and Esther lurk. Esther’s hair is black now. Eva menaces the Obsbournes. Where are the dramatic consequences to this ridiculous Eva plot? Where did Ruby go? Why does no-one wonder about Sinead or her baby?

There is flashback to a young Jack (Ben Ewing) and Billy in 1968. There is mumbling and Eva is ugly with dissipation. Jack has a good cry - I don’t care. Jack framed Billy for murder back in 68. Also their accents changed since 68. Eva shoots Esther. Cue anger and contempt. None of this was necessary or appropriate. Where is James? A drag queen DJ lurks. Ste and Harry are thugs. Amy looks dipped in Ronseal. Ryan is the only cop in Chester. How long was Billy behind bars? How did he father Eva?

Harry and Ste are aggressive. Ryan smirks. Esther is in a coma yet again. Goldie blackmails and impugns and is scum. She had her horrible twins at 13 which explains a lot. Why isn’t Eva arrested instead of hiding out with stupid stupid Liam? Why is Liam so stupid? Esther has tried to kill herself, had a liver transplant, been drugged by Kim and now she’s been shot in the head by Eva.

Best Lines:
“Cracks between us.”

“Has he seen you on the loo?”

“Murderous skank.”

“You wouldn’t last a single night behind bars.”

“He died behind bars hating you until his final breath.”

“We know it was you.”

“You wrecked our lives.”