December 13th, 2016


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Sherlock’ series 4 promo
Something bad happens and it is not a game anymore. Johnlock is endgame.

Best Line:
“I love you.”

‘War For The Planet Of The Apes’ trailer
I haven’t seen ‘Dawn Of The Planet of The Apes’. There is war and guns and I though the humans had died off.

Best Lines:
“I offered you peace.”

“All of human history has led to this moment.”

“Nature has been punishing us.”

“A planet of apes.”

‘Prison Break’ season 1 opening credits
Sarah Wayne Callies didn’t always annoy.

The Fudge With No Name - yum.
Dark chocolate with Almonds & Sea salt - yum.

RIP Van Williams and Joseph Mascolo.

Recall ‘Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit’?

Anyone else see ‘Gorky Park’?

Who saw ‘Band Of Brothers’?

I did not brother with ‘Humans’ 2x07.

Frank Grillo was cute as Nick on ‘Prison Break’.

What are lip masks?

I want to try 56-day-aged-sirlon steak in dripping.

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“A three-hour journey on four different buses.”

“Their level of activity.”


“Idle time.”

“Obviously incompetent or lazy.”

“Overlong breaks.”

“Had the charm of a cemetery.”

“Diamante thongs.”

“A chopping board engraved with Lionel Richie’s face.”

“Running in the aisles was forbidden.”

“Academics like me did not have a monopoly on historical interpretation.”

“Not entirely courteous.”

“Objected, not unreasonably.”

“More assertion than discussion.”

“Turn a long-standing rumour into a proven fact.”

“Lived through 13 presidents.”

“Changed absolutely nothing.”

“Shouldn’t see anything pathetic in him.”

“Less joy than you’d get from sucking on a Brussels sprout.”

“Common labouring boys.”

“A heinous betrayal I’ve never been allowed to forget.”

“Convinced the world is out to get him.”

“Knows people are unlikely to believe him.”

“Lost all sense around him.”

“Part of Kate’s contract that I was not to be present at any of her official engagements,”

“Play her my chord progression.”

“Reputation has never fully recovered.”

“The things you can do in camper vans...”

“Eight years of not speaking to me.”

“Conversation deteriorates.”

“Ranting and raving and making very little sense.”

‘Bridget & Eamon’ Quotes:
“The praying badger.”

“Since when did Ireland have an economy?”

“Makey upy stuff.”

“How much have you there? Yeah, it’s that much.”

“You local uneducated man.”

“Local simpleton.”

‘Veronica Mars’ Quote:
“Answer the question or I’ll break all your fingers.”

‘Prison Break’ Quotes:
“I could not agree more.”

“There’s room for you down there too.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Not the conduct you would expect.”

“You are married to the devil.”

“The murder for hire thing.”

“I never wrote any hateful emails.”

“I am going to want to hurt her.”

“Years of suspicions and accusations.”

“Unfairly portrayed.”

“I don’t even know how to Photoshop.”

“His true mother.”

“That is bizarre to me.”

“Something’s bad wrong here.”

“Don’t be friends anymore.”

“Needs to get a grip.”

“Hiding crucial information.”

“Was the marriage unwinding?”

“Not very good at listening.”

“Attack against me.”

“Chaos is coming down on me.”

“Accused of doing something nefarious.”

“Get you removed from the house.”

“Reputation takes another hit.”

“There goes your story.”

“Sexed with her husband’s friend in the weeks following his mysterious disappearance.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Convicted of falsifying history.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“That has no affection for, or allegiance to, the State.”

“Never ending list of seemingly harmless requests.”

“Retreated from public discussion.”

“Fact-based evidence seemed to become irrelevant.”

“Collective noble cause.”

“Driver fault.”

‘The 5:30’ Quote:
“Removed from society.”

‘A Place To Call Home’ Quote:
“Four, I’m under the host.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Tom overacts. There is an overcooked Welsh accent. Grace and co bore. Nick is made sinister. Alfie hallucinates Jade. Where is James? Where did Leah’s real dad go? Eva bores. What is Jack up to? Nancy and Darren draw glances. Where is Curtis? Eva gurns. Cindy fears Alfie is bipolar like her. Disgraceful comments are made.

Best Lines:
“Set ages ago, you know the 80s.”

“What’s she done now then?”

“Now go and never come back!”

“Who could ever love you?!?”
Scary Books

Movie Review: The Lone Ranger (2013)

How can John Reid be called The Lone Ranger if he has Tonto? It’s the 1930s in the wrap-around story so where is Reid? Is he dead? Tonto has bad old age make up and a bird on his head and speaks in bizarre broken English. Tonto tells tales of his and Reid’s adventures in 1869. It involves a railway, buffalo, silver and people wearing slankets and swanchos.

Armie Hammer plays John Reid and really deserves a better career. Johnny Depp is Tonto and this was deathly boring. Depp seems unaware of tone, pitch and accent. Hey, he has makeup, a bird on his head and a silly accent. Why does he need to act or a script that makes sense? There is no concept of storytelling in this film. People act erratically and there is no veneration for this. Her from ‘The Affair’ pops up as Reid’s woman. This was not raw or real. Actors have expressions of resignation. Depp gurns and adapting a forgotten 1950s TV show was not an especially promising choice.

TPTB seem woefully oblivious as to what terrible bunkum this is. Nobody has a high moral tone. Hammer has brooding intensity and Depp thinks he is an existentialist epic or something. This was not wildly entertaining and Depp infuriates with his weird and freaky ‘actings’. This was no startling fierceness or vivid life just maddening iaction. Depp is not amiably daffy; he just has a pompous voice and a sneering smirk and makes persistent slights while being impregnably self absorbed.

Reid has a life changing experience and somehow does not die of sepsis. This has no vague unifying theme; this was just a foolish muddle with no inner life. This was an over long blight that wasn’t sombre or tasteful. This has no sadness, regret or pity, Hollywood needs to evaluate its output. Reid is agitated, Depp is insufferable which does not make him more interesting and this was meandering chaos and not fantastic, epic or awesome.

Helena Bonham Carter shows up as a whore with a gun for a leg. Reid has visions and wears a mask. There are annoying kids. William Fichtner the baddie creeps up their night. There is tackiness and this was overblown and the William Tell overture plays a plot, the end credits are unreadable and this was dreck. The 2011 ‘Husk’ was better than this.

Best Lines:
“Good man must wear mask.”

“Law and order has come to the West.”

“I would have preferred someone else.”

“I boxed at law school.”

“I would not do that.”

“Do not touch rock, rock cursed.”

“Not so much.”

“I make urine on it.”

“These two have a hard time staying dead.”

“Don’t ever do that again.”
Scary Books

The Americans 4x09 +Jessica Jones 1x04&1x05 + Supergirl 2x08 Reviewed

The Day After
There is no ordered calm or mood elevation, just incendiary lies. Paige’s challenging behaviour has consequences. Stan and Philip wear unfortunate shorts. There is relentlessly moody wrenching discord. Paige is wan and there is bad ADR. ‘The Day After’ airs on TV. Cue hazardous emotional territory. As well as overwrought acting and the possible consequences of potential aggression. One is strangely irritated by Paige. Philip worries about the ever present possibility of war. Elizabeth has inexorable logic. There is shagging and Elizabeth finds a mark’s ancient VHS porn.

This drama is unsustainable. Philip and Elizabeth are disrupters and have rueful self-knowledge and little affection. Paige feels terrifyingly urgent feels after watching the horror unfold in front of her in ‘The Day After’. Oleg broods and do they sincerely regret anything? Elizabeth does nasty things to her unfailingly polite ‘friends’. This was indigestible and not a virtuosic confection. Pastor Tim bores and offers no constructive guidance. Pastor Tim is all pomposisity and parasitism.  Certain perceptions are held. People are miserable most of the time and Elizabeth does more vile things.

Best Lines:
“We get breaks?”

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Nobody needs this!”

“I don’t trust us with this.”

“Making that poison for us.”

“Dropped the atom bomb. Twice.”

“This is why we’re here.”

AKA 99 Friends
This was not lyrical and has no gut crunching emotional rawness. Trish has fans of her child star days. Bad decisions are made. The cop had his personhood erased by Kilgrave and now he wants to make amends. This was misjudged. Kilgrave’s mistreatment of people goes on. Trish whines and Jeri sneers and flaunts her mistress in front of her wife Wendy. Jeri is a distinctly awful person and harries Wendy. Pam the other woman is appalled by Jeri. Nobody does anything sensible.

A Kilgrave support group is set up. If Jessica would explain things instead of screaming and smashing stuff people would listen. The cop aka Simpson and Trish bond. Malcolm the neighbourhood junkie seems to have no point. Kilgrave causes paranoia and panic. I am increasingly disillusioned with this show. Trish is not nice. These are awful people and terrible memories of Kilgrave come out.

Best Lines:
“I can smell it on him.”

“Take sex pictures.”

“My mum blew half the jury to get me that award.”

“Wound up dead in my elevator.”

“I was committed to the scenario.”

AKA The Sandwich Saved Me
Jessica can fly though she calls it guided falling. Poor Malcolm was ruined by Kilgrave. Jessica is defeatist. Kilgrave is a cause of dismay and a matter of concern. Kilgrave does things out of spite and Jessica idiotically stomps through life. This was not subtle just increasingly irritating. There are truculent threats and Jessica is a tool. She will not listen and is mocking and smirking and impertinent. Hope snots.

Kilgrave has a sense of entitlement. There is an absence of a general narrative thrust. There is no merriment. When was NY rebuilt after Loki and the aliens trashed it? An attempt to nab Kilgrave does awry. Kilgrave has minions. This was mediocre and there are unclear flashbacks. Kilgrave slimes and is ungallant. He has no Byronesque magnetism. Jessica acts erratically. This was of no consequence. Jessica is a hostile presence, acts unreliably and treats people like dirt. I have no deep faith in this concept.

Best Lines:
“30 day shred.”

“Jewel is a stripper’s name, a really slutty stripper.”

“Pick up that coffee. Throw it in your face.”

“Isolation of enemy combatants.”

“You stupid sandwich.”

“The sandwich saved me.”

“That’s not conspicuous at all.”

“Let’s go back to tense silence.”

“You bore me. Leave.”

“Try not to miss the toilet.”

Mon-El is unbearably stupid. Kara bothers Lena. Astrobiology is a thing. Cisco and Barry show up to annoy. Joy is detached. Kara cooks the Thanksgiving turkey with her laser eyes. Where was Lena adopted from? Where is her father? Ugly accusations are made. Mon-El tells constant lies. Kara is explicitly defined by her stupidity. A bio-weapon was stolen from the Fortress of Solitude. Alex has heart rending regret.

Where is Max Lord? This was initially upbeat and full of technobabble. Cyborg Superman is acquisitive. Where are the LCorp staff? Maggie is injured. The Luthors are besmirched. There is no admirable honesty or solace for Lena. She and Kara defy their families desired wishes. Kara is an arbiter of disputes. Winn and James have ceased to have meaning. Hank overacts. Both of them. This was good. What is the Well Of Stars? There are cop-outs regarding the Maggie/Alex and J’onn becoming a White Martian plotlines.

Best Lines:
“What is science?”

“Murdering world domination direction.”

“Reality shredding particles.”

“Earth is for the humans.”

“We fought and I lost.”

“Mutant horror show.”

“This is quite a depressing sight.”

“Back-stabbing jibe.”

“How many suns we burn.”

“There was truth in that.”

“You shouldn’t be dying.”

Book Reviews: Demons + The Black Room Manuscripts Volume One, part 1

Star Trek The Original Series #43: Demons by J.M. Dillard
From the author of ‘Bloodthirst’ and ‘Resistance’ comes this bare bones tale of possession and madness. Vulcan scientists find something on a distant planet and it spreads to Vulcan and the Enterprise. It causes violent and aggressive behaviour. Meanwhile McCoy and Spock act wildly out of character as they fight over a mary-sue character named Anitra.

She’s always disobeying orders and being unreasonable and making pithy pronouncements but this is all relatively overlookable apparently as all members of the triumvirate (Kirk, Spock and McCoy) fancy her. If one can overlook this and Anitra’s self regard, this is a fairly okay tale of pretty aggressively nasty things. This had a sequel in ‘Star Trek The Next Generation’ entitled ‘Possession’ which was not as good.

Best Lines:
“He had remained ominously silent for hours.”

“I’d rather die in the desert,”

“And how in the hell can a subatomic particle think, let alone control some-one’s actions?”

The Black Room Manuscripts Volume One, part 1

A short bitter start.

The Stranger
A guy babbles crazily. This was not significantly complicated.

Time For Tea
A visit to a tea-room leads to desperately anxious people who want to live. Okay.

Hide & Shriek
An annoying child plays hide and seek in an odd old house. A dark upstairs room proves too potent to resist leading to inevitable horror. This was okay.

Room At The Inn
A dingy tale of an inn.

Clandestine delights
A jaded man goes looking for the ultimate pleasure. This was a not too deep tale of snob value. This was not without its diversions.

Waiting For The Right Stop
Why is she on a bus she can’t get off? Obvious.

Best Line:
“Keep your mind on nice things.”

Inept astronauts find a planet of horror. Has no energy or ability.

Best Line:
“Picking a drug-induced, hallucinogenic fight with a tree.”