July 21st, 2016

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Wasted’ promo
Ha.

Best Line:
“Is that the dictator style one?”

‘Suicide Squad’ TV spot
No.

‘Pete’s Dragon’ TV spot
Nope.

Ordinary Decent Criminal’ promo
Kevin Spacey does an Irish accent.

‘The Living And The Dead’ 1x05 promo
Weirdness.

‘Millions’ (1991) trailer
Soap opera drama, bad wallpaper and overacting.

‘The Out-Laws’ promo
Ha.

‘Containment’ 1x03 promo
Yeah!

Very Berry Tea - smells like candy and tastes ok.
Peanut Butter Protein Balls - yum.
Beni Wild Harvest 66% choc - yum.

I may not be able to see the new ‘Star Trek’ show.

There will be a 4th ‘Star Trek’ movie?

I saw John Barrowman’s guest appearance on ‘My Family’: he was cute.

Best Lines:
“Immediately called off the security guard who had me in a chokehold.”

“Another bottle of red wine and get my friend whatever he wants too.”

“As anonymous and as unsuccessful as you.”

‘The Real Ghostbusters’ Quotes:
“Acolyte creatures.”

“His slumber on the ocean’s floor.”

“The stars are in the right position for such a reaction only once every 60 years.”

“Looks like a tank and has a personality to match.”

“You sure don’t look smart.”

“This joint would scare Stephen King.”

“Something that looks like Godzilla wearing a giant octopus hat won’t be hard to find.”

“I figured why bother.”

“Dreams in the deep and the cities of man shall fall before him.”

“Where it can’t be used for evil.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Good, be depressed.”

“Non-English speaking pig farmer.”

“She looks like a stripper.”

“So self-destructing here.”

“A lot of lies going on.”

“Put you in a felony house.”

“We’re the bad people.”

“Pictures of her with multiple different men.”

“That’s fit?”

“She’s of poor character.”

“Biggest piece of trash.”

“Clapping in different places.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Non-refoulement.”

“The sound of applause could trigger anxiety in some delegates.”

“I don’t understand the logic of that.”

“Intrinsic motivation.”

‘Teen Mom 2’ Quote:
“Was mommy’s new boyfriend there?”

RTE News’ Quote:
“Usually it’s always raining.”

‘Channel 4 News’ Quote:
“Watching in fear.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“I have a teaching fist.”

‘Monkey Life’ Quote:
“Buy food for my birds.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Customary mode of aggressive silence.”

“Luxe-grunge.”

“VHS-era skater videos.”

“Menstrual delays.”

“Deregistered.”

“Self-contained incident.”

“The King watched despairingly.”

“Dark and oppressive atmosphere.”

“Brazen tramp of a woman.”

“Protect the moral probity.”

‘Michael Palin’s New Europe’ Quotes:
“No stone quarries of any kind.”

“Made his money selling chickens in Birmingham.”

‘Lying In Wait’ Quote:
“Its stone borders which had lain under the soil for almost forty years, were conveniently grave like.”

~
On ‘Neighbours’: Somebody runs over Aaron and Karl’s stupid bike lane protest. It is treated in such a po-faced manner it is laughable. Bondo = oz slang for Bondhi. Xanthe tries to de-stain her dress via youtube tutorials. Karl, Toadfish and Sonya have a boring plot about the horrendous realities of bike lanes. Brennan bores. Tyler is targeted by Elly and Piper has no ethical dilemma with being a snot. Brad doesn’t detoxify Piper. She has no ethical obligations and steadfastly refuses to stop being confusingly mindless.

Piper = Jenelle from ‘Teen Mom 2’. Piper doesn’t apologise for ruining Xanthe’s dress. Xanthe is in the Special Study Group. Isn’t the formal at the end of the school year? Piper disrupts Elly’s class and triggers chaos. She’s an awful, morally indefensible child. Belinda and her 80s perm annoys. Toadfish is the only solicitor in town. Steph pulls faces. Piper actively provokes and is rude to Elly. Piper is a spoilt brat who ruins everything. Xanthe learns Ben was paid to date her and stops being friends with the vile Piper who STILL hasn’t apologised for ruining her dress.

After all these devastating critiques - will Piper learn? Gary has to beg Paul for money. Piper is a brat. Tyler needs to work hard to look trustworthy. It’s all about Piper and her intellectual failure and personal misfortune. Piper ignites murderous hatred.

Best Lines:
“The anti-bike lobby that’s surprisingly active. Ironically.”

“Piper’s friend with the stained dress.”

“It’s all about you.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Kim and Esther are to MARRY? Kim plots. Peri tells Jade she and Alfie had sex. Nico rips Jade’s wig off. Jade wears fishnets and cries. Vicious pain all round.
Cat

Book Reviews: Murder In The Mews + 24 Short Stories + The War Of The Wives

Murder In The Mews by Agatha Christie
This is a collection of 4 novellas.

Murder In The Mews
On November 5th, a woman dies. But was it murder or suicide? Poirot investigates. This has the unexpected tedium of dated snobbery and dated explanations. This was slightly unsatisfying.

Best Lines:
“Might have got one or two of the characters to come and burst in the door.”

“One of the God-forsaken spots you send ne’er-do-wells to-”

“He wasn’t the sort of man I should have encouraged to come to the house after we were married.”

The Incredible Theft
Men try to catch a spy as an ethical obligation. Only to lose the top secret plans they were using as bait. This has sexism and intellectual inertia. Poirot is valued consul, but this is not a necessarily bleak, wrenching portrayal.

Best Lines:
The purification of England’s morals.”

“Women are the devil.”

Dead Man’s Mirror
An eccentric rich man dies. Poirot investigates in his signature narrative mode. Hoary old arguments are trotted out. What lurks beneath the affable surface? This disappointed and had more sexism and values dissonance. This was forgettable like ‘Endless Night’, ‘Peril At End House’, ‘Sparkling Cyanide’, ‘Three-Act Tragedy’, ‘Death In The clouds’, ‘Third Girl’, ‘Hallowe’en Party’, ‘Elephants Can Remember’, ‘They Do It With Mirrors’ and ‘Nemesis’. This had snobbery and demented conviction but was senseless and had no creative instinct.

Best Lines:
“A definitely inferior social class.”

“This door must be broken open immediately!”

“People were beginning to talk as it was.”

Triangle At Rhodes
In Rhodes, an ‘Evil Under The Sun’ like plot takes place. General judgements are made and there is a twist ending that is not a glorious finding. Okay.

Best Lines:
“Scowling after the retreating husband and wife in a singularly unpleasant fashion.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised if he ill-treats her!”
“She probably likes that too.”

~
24 Short Stories by Katherine Mansfield
This 1972 book contains short stories by a late author. The only decent stories were ‘The Daughters Of The Late Colonel’ which is a tale of grief and ‘The Doll’s House’ in which a girl asks poor scorned children to play with her doll’s house. There are caustic remarks and emotional ills. This was not good or full of emotions worth savouring.

Best Line:
“How did one meet men?”

~
The War Of The Wives by Tamar Cohen
Selina is shocked when her husband dies suddenly. But at the funeral she learns he had another family and the snotty Lottie and her brat daughter are unwelcome intruders in her family. This is a tale of learning your husband was a disreputable letch and the despair and disappointment of several years of shattered dreams. This was good. It is a tale of tentative desire, an undeserving man who was backed unreservedly, ignorance and loneliness, lustless companionship and how sureness can be undone in an instant.

Best Lines:
“It’s a trapping point.”

“White bread is the work of the devil.”

“Even the man I shared my life with turned out to be someone else entirely and died wearing a stranger’s wedding ring.”

“The daughter who grew up in the shadow of a sister she didn’t even know existed.”
Illya K

5 TV Reviews

Containment 1x02

I To Die, You To Live
This was good but not excruciatingly ominous. The opening credits are nice. The media rabble rouse. 1x01 was dire trash but this improves dramatically. Jana is beastly and has formidable stupidity. Teresa the pregnant teen is reckless as are her moron friends. The cop and teacher have rampant incompetence and whining. WTF is MARTA? The kids are sheer nonsense. Claudia Black looks ridden hard and put away wet. Lex is a bland hero. There’s more disease inside the cordon. A reporter is all unrelenting humourless tedium. Dark suspicions arise. This was a vast improvement. There are connections between characters. What is EIS? Is Dr Cannerts to be trusted? The 4000 people are walled inside the cordon like in ‘Doomsday’.

Best Lines:
“Back away from that fence.”

“Social distance.”

“Contagion city.”

“Make sure those gates hold.”

“Even ISIS won’t take credit.”

“Endless talk about snot and mucus and terrorism.”

“People I’m happy to dodge.”

~
The Living And The Dead 1x04
Nathan plays with a Ouija board. The local teacher is painfully distracted. This was not excessively macabre. The vicar bumbles. There is more trouble on the farm which causes drab exhaustion. Anger, suspicion and sadness take place. Bad influence friends lurk. This was fatally undermined by breathy voices and bad bad acting.

This was all artifice and it is daunting and demoralising how bad this is. Llamas walk around. There is death and a neighbouring estate looks all sunny and bright and their estate is all dank and dark. There are unfair reactions and this was not fecund material. There were no desperate circumstances or menacing atmosphere. There were many derelictions of sense.

This had no quiet decorum or sheer inventiveness. There is no emotional openness or conversations without fear. There is yelling and self-reproach. Charlotte actively disputes and Nathan sees an ipad. The point of this is not the least definable. Rot and ruin reign. There is a vision of the modern day. Enough already.

Best Lines:
“The wrath of evil-doers.”

“They say you’re raising the dead.”

“She may be under threat.”

“Supposedly lowly situation.”

“I ain’t interested in your justice.”

“Living in a cave at The Devil’s Chapel.”

“I will not play a part in your madness.”

~
Houdini & Doyle 1x10

The Pall Of Lapier
The final ep sees a Canadian town full of people die. Doyle is an ass and the female ‘police officer’ bores. There are 2 survivors of the wiped out town. There is bad child acting and mordant contempt. This was dull and ill-informed, irresponsible and full of malevolent invective. This was all astonishing idiocies. There are supernatural hints and this was all boredom.

~
Supernatural 11x14

The Vessel
In 1943: Nazis do nefarious activities. Meanwhile Dean has a negative reputation and Sam is stupid. There are nonsensical time travel shenanigans. Castiel bores even when possessed by Lucifer. Dean seeks the Hand Of God aka The Ark Of The Covenant. Crowley has been overthrown as King Of Hell, so? Yawn and it was all for nothing.

Best Lines:
“How is it possible to lose a 300 ton warship from 800 yards?”

“Doggy wants to speak.”

“Taken damage you can not recover from.”

~
Law And Order: Special Victims Unit 16x16

December Solstice
Olivia’s foster son was fathered by a pimp. A famous old writer named Walter (Robert Vaughn) has literary distain for the present day. His 6th wife (Marcia Cross) won’t let him see his two daughters Judith and Delilah. Claims of elder abuse are made. Mercedes Ruehl and Emily Bergl guest star. People talk about how Walter and his disarming charisma was a titan and how his vile wife acts out. But does she have moral and criminal liability for his death? The wife has overtones of a fallen woman. A videotape message from beyond screws things up. Walter was an ass but some people still have the heights of worship for him. The 6th wife shows off her absolute cruelty and she exploits her once highly prestigious husband even after his death. There are exacting methods of family drama. There are belated realisations and a new sibling. There are understandable reactions and horrific details. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“My prettiest wife yet.”

“Threw one of his wives through a plate glass window.”

“He needs his ease.”

“Preach and screech all they want.”

“Ripping hospital equipment out of the wall.”

“Sick old dude with the crazy wife.”

“This is police intimidation.”

“Mental hygiene law.”

“Too tedious to see you.”

“Seeing them distressed him.”

“Are we interrupting?”
“Blessedly.”

“It can’t be her choice anymore.”