July 11th, 2016


Trailer, Quotes and a 2000 Tape Tale

‘Versailles’ promo

Goat’s cheese Greek salad - yum.
Puff pastry sticks - okay.

Horrible new ‘Star Trek’ book covers.

I wanted a naked cake.

Kiefer Sutherland is in the ‘Flatliners’ remake?

WTF is matured butter? Or nettle kraut?

What is TPTB obsession with John Barrowman?

‘The Daily Telegraph’ Quotes:
“People were paid for writing such rot as I read.”

“Hollywood social novels.”

“Clichés and repetitions.”

“Moral codes.”

“Make unpleasant reading today.”

“That any social group that ends up with power will inevitably exercise it for ill.”

“Perceived inferiors.”

“Brings out a pot of golden paint and anoints Jesse with it.”

“The character was defined solely by whether someone wanted to have sex with her.”

“By the 18th century, a wool chemise was required to take the waters.”

“Had difficulties finding a model to wear it.”

“A symbol of youth, freedom and a rebellion against a more moralising past.”


“A certain kind of paparazzi-tinged lifestyle heralded by Princess Diana in the 1990s.”

“Proof that diminishing swimwear is now also a male concern.”

“He had no idea of normal goat behaviour.”

“That doesn’t mean that all of reality should be bent to fit their wishes.”

“Did you have kangaroos outside your bedroom window.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Wine room.”

“They turn up uninvited to weddings?”

“Initially refusing to come out despite pleas and exhortations.”

“The bride and groom dancing, on holiday, beside a car, at the seaside, outside a house, and then with a baby.”

“This is the over-familiar rendered dark and strange - and new.”

“Lacquering the pulp with literary gloss.”

“Nonconformist wearing of thrift-shop drainpipe suits.”

“Untenable opinions.”

“Characterless, expensive things the newly minted, still unsure of their taste, like to buy in shops they know are safe.”

“Delirious instability.”

“Thinks Burroughs is a phoney and a sleazebag and maybe even a murderer, and he says so loudly and repeatedly, on television.”

“Earthy veracity.”

“Ethical soul-searching.”

“Mortal consequence.”

“Ethical danger.”

“I’d never seen my dad cry. I didn’t think men did.”

“Are you fierce upset?”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Linguistically ignorant.”

“Urban clutter.”

“Polishing her nails like a Las Vegas divorcee.”

“Commodity fetishism.”

“Fictional anthropology.”

“Reconfigured families.”

“Unwelcome realisation.”

“Lapses in taste and judgment.”

“Decisions were bad, based on desperate hopes rather than reality.”

“Passionately held emotions and values.”

“Often instinctively sceptical.”

“Did not seem to take this unprecedented warning very seriously.”

“He rejects the cult of the Great Wise Man.”

“Ebay was sad.”

“Asked what the national demon was.”

“A very interesting man.”

“A peacock has been ordered - “Not to eat but to look at,”.”

“Embarrassment about his crudeness.”

“Pathological feats of concealment.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“I got murdered with a hammer.”

“Everyone in Ballyfermot knew he was mad.”

“Now looks like an old vulture with piles.”

“Always leaning on fence posts, wearing looks of noble suffering.”

“The moment that you feel their eyes watching you, it can change your demeanour and your walk. But you have to be mindful of what it means.”

“It’s a proximity to people I don’t want to have.”

“Ego device.”

“Squad goals.”

“Young women were often arrested on prostitution charges for letting a man buy them dinner or a cinema ticket.”

“Man fights off other men with big stick.”

‘The Sunday Telegraph’ Quotes:
“Requiring of their recruits only aggressive camping.”

“And were an occasion afraid.”

“I would have endangered my position in their lives.”

“Always struck me as gentle and kind.”

Cleared out a tape which I think is from 2000. It began with a ‘Felicity’ ep ‘Help For The Lovelorn’ which was followed by a ‘Popular’ ep ‘Hard On The Outside, Soft In The Middle’ both were unembellished by quality and both were near unwatchable due to bad tracking.

Then came a ‘Hercules: The Legendary Journeys’ ep ‘Armageddon Now part 2’ in which Iolaus runs around talking a lot. Herc hangs out in limbo with the Sovereign. Callisto rampages. Logic is tactfully omitted. Evil Xena pops up as the Conqueror. There is a magic stone, fighting and more fighting. There is also time travel and Conqueror Xena has a cool evil costume. Gabrielle and her crimped hair gets executed and this was okay apart from some seriously dodgy acting.

Best Lines:
“What is her crime?”
“I spoke.”

“Have you no dignity?!?”

“The sound of her name excites me.”

Then came a naff ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Mind Games’ which sees an evil telepath with a total lack of sentimentality do bad things. Then came a ‘Jack Of All Trades’ ep ‘Once You Go Jack’ which sees Jack menaced and Em scowling and gullible pawns fooled yet again. This had no quiet grace.

Then came an ‘Andromeda’ ep ‘Angel Dark, Demon Bright’ which had time travel, Trance showing off her power, bad tracking and TPTB raised very many questions to be answered. All of which were ditched without expectation or excuse by Kevin Sorbo during the show retool. This had bad makeup and was bad apart from the wonderfully named Witchhead Nebula.

Finally there was another ‘Popular’ ep ‘We Are Family’ in which Sam dreamed herself and Brooke in a redo of ‘Whatever Happed To Baby Jane’. There is bad acting and Erik Estrada. This was better than necessary but had no emotional overlay.

Best Lines:
“House of booze.”


“Are you Erik Estrada macho Latin star of ‘CHiPS’ or one of those wussy white gals from ‘Sex and the City’?”

“Slutbomb lipstick.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: And I Darken + All Together Dead

And I Darken by Kiersten White
In this  AU historical tale. Lada and Radu are the children of Vlad Dracul ruler of Wallachia. They are taken as hostages into the court of the Ottoman Empire where they meet and befriend Mehmed the Sultan’s heir. Years pass; there is friendship, love and Stockholm syndrome.

Lada (the AU female Vlad The Impaler) is the centre of this 1st book of a trilogy. She fights against the stifling air of a time when the lot and expectations of women were unpleasantly different. She is summarily dismissed at first but learns to use psychomythologising pretensions in a calculated capacity for power. The guiding narrative arc sets Lada on a path towards a future Gotterdammerung. Her brother Radu has many alarming personal faults and whimsically has emotional surrender to their captors in increasingly tiresome fashion.

Mehmed and his radiant charisma is hopelessly fixated on conquering Constantinople. This is a very good story of vividly vile people who have relentless narcissism and no conventional morality. One has admiring disgust for Lada who remakes herself in a garish decadent court, outgrows her manageability and walks her own path to the uncompromising conclusion. This is a dark and gripping tale of how Lada distances herself from how others see her.

Best Lines:
“Lada had picked up Saxon obscenities and frequently yelled them out the window at people in the busy square.”

“You make certain that your name means fear and pain.”

“He is the end of us.”

“This city determinedly refused him friends.”

“What were their names?”
“No one remembers.”

“It was a lonely, cold thing to live without expectations.”

“That damnable city.”

“Hope no one realized that they should be dead.”

“Favourites can fall far.”

“Souls and thrones are irreconcilable.”

All Together Dead by Charlaine Harris
This 2008 ‘Sookie Stackhouse’ novel sees Sookie the blonde monster and task shifting vampires do boring things. This had less value.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Big Kahuna + Kung Fu Panda + 5 others

The Big Kahuna (1999)
Kevin Spacey, Danny Devito and Peter Facinelli star as three salesmen in a hotel room waiting for an important client. This was not a crisp narrative but was okay. They talk catastrophic consequences and this was all ordinariness, moral certainty and Spacey overacting. They sell industrial lubricants and the two older bitter cases have corrosive emotions and depths of dislike. They wait and await the important customer. This was not utterly distinctive or absolutely mesmerising.

Best Lines:
“The lubricant situation.”

“And assume that she meant that in a favourable vein.”

“Not hospitality closet.”

“Aesthetic wherewithal.”

“Is there a plague coming to wipe us from the globe?”

“Could be constructed as an act of incompetence.”

“Death is bad.”

“I thought maybe it was understood.”

Kung Fu Panda (2008)
A wise tortoise and a fat panda are part of this flashy animated hit computer movie. How is a duck a panda’s father? There is a slutty snake and a Yoda like thing that babbles. Animals and birds wear clothes for no clear reason. The fat panda is declared the dragon warrior and faces a culture of criticism. He has to put in work as paralysing groupthink thinks he is there on a false pretext. The geriatric tortoise has relentless bonhomie. An evil snow leopard lurks. Nobody is dignified, patient or courteous. There is an unending parade of violence and physical daring. The characters have personal sourness and this has no intellectual weight and was just smug and unnecessary.

Best Lines:
“One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.”

“You’re so much bigger than your action figures.”

“My tenders.”

“I see you have found the sacred Peach Tree Of Heavenly Wisdom.”

“Apply it in combat.”

Flatliners (1990)
Medical students experiment with death and find themselves on their own separate paths to torment as they are haunted by discordant images that instil fear. This careens around wildly and is not a defining horror.

Being John Malkovich (2009)
No, this was an acrid trial.

The Water Babies (1978)
No rough gusto or creative talent here.

The Titfield Thunderbolt (1953)
No to this train film.

Moonraker (1979)
Dumb 007 movie.
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Scary Books

The Musketeers 3x06 + House Of Cards Season 4 Review, part 1 + Madam Secretary(2014-?)1x01 Reviewed

Death Of A Hero
Some men just refuse to die. There is moral unease and Constance is made of bimbo fabric. The foursome has stoic blankness and Athos has lost his impassioned fury. Feron plots. Aramis takes his shirt off and what sis revealed is wholly without merit. Constance is Lady Macbeth without the charm. How does Athos have an emotional bond with the controversy monger woman? The hyperbutch foursome has no winsome charm. Athos is a bit useless as captain. Bad life decisions are made.

The sidekick with the insalubrious reputation will not die. Gaston has no moral vision and Feron utters dryly wry comical dialogue. Season 2 ratcheted up the formidableness of the adversaries, season 3: not so much. Treville is useless and has anxieties of leadership. The King has the incurable cough of death. Anne of Austria is loud and persistent. The musketeers are not sophisticated adversaries and are strikingly unrepentant in their awfulness.

Nobody cares about Aramis and Anne of Austria’s sorrowful yearnings. Baddies have surreal derangement in this drolly compelling ep. Nobody has cool competence or acuity. There is bad first aid. D’artagnan is unsuitably dull. There are no courtly manners just crude personal ambition and corn-pone westerns are ripped off.

Anne of Austria wears a nice gold and sapphire necklace. Louis knows Anne of Austria cuckolded him. There is an explosion and I swear I saw a shoe fly out. Louis walks around a very dramatic church. Louis sings hymnal praises to Feron. Long planned schemes go awry. There is mid-life despair, handholding and very angry statements. This was good. Anne of Austria and Aramis are shameless and there is no security culture.

Aramis affronts credulity with Machiavellian circularity. There are unsavoury situations and invariably unpleasant people which leads to a toxic nexus. Someone unexpectedly meets a grim fate due to a lack of morals. There is posing and dark times ahead.

Best Lines:
“Forces are gathering that pose a great threat.”

“You cannot afford weakness now.”

“You boys are expensive to feed.”

“I’m angry now.”

“We ride hard.”

“That’d just be stupid.”

“He is my son, not yours.”

“A true son of France.”

“He will have a full state funeral. Nothing spared.”

“You play no part in his life, even when I’m dead.”

“The King has hated me for 5 years.”

“Ignored or slighted at every turn.”

“They won’t kill us today.”


“The only one who has not betrayed me.”

“Provide him with wise council.”

“Death has a grip on me.”

“You only exist to serve my purpose.”

“She endured you.”

“Shaming your own wife.”

“But you did it all the same.”

Chapter 40
Lucas is in jail reading porn to his violent cellmate. Underwood is really fat and angry. Meechum is still Underwood’s adoring personal protection detail and anything else. Claire hires Leann (Neve Campbell) to run her campaign for undeserved political office by getting the seat of a retiring politician (Cicly Tyson). Lucas gets a deal to get out of jail. Seth plots. Doug plots. Claire is awful and so is her mother (Ellen Burstyn). This was good.

Best Lines:
“We neglected to adjust.”

“Tell me I’ve been heard.”

“It doesn’t warrant a response.”

“She might as well be living in that trailer park you come from.”

“Not even being President could give you any class.”

Chapter 41
Patrician biddies sneer. Underwood’s mother-in-law has longstanding opposition to him. Jackie is persistently annoying. Claire has fearsome vigour but no talent. There is no appalled admiration for their awfulness. Underwood has never met the bottom of a barrel he wouldn’t scrape. What about Jackie’s husband and stepchildren? Remy annoys. Underwood sabotages Claire’s hopes. Claire and her sharp suits, dyed golden hair, glacial haughtiness and clipped diction show her up as the entitled bourgeois lizard she is. Petrov resurfaces. Claire threatens to sell her mother’s house from under her. There is screeching and turban ripping off. This was okay.

Chapter 42
Ambition has destroyed the Underwood’s desire for each other. Leann uncovers a safety box secret. Lucas prostitutes himself for a car. This is a vast improvement over season 3. A scandal erupts. Lucas tells his ravings to Heather, she’s got audacity. Lucas cries. Seth is a dick and tries to blame Meechum for his misdeeds. He doesn’t know about Meechum and Underwood’s special relationship. Claire wants to be VP. Spacey overemotes. Claire is unseemly, meddlesome and crazed with power-lust. She is a scheming steely amoral harpy. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Another 6 points on the Anger Index.”

“And what if we do?”

“I am no longer comfortable with this.”

“Meechum. Shh.”

“You don’t deserve it.”

The beginning of this tale of how a former CIA analyst is forced to juggle an international crisis and her family after being made Secretary of State. Her husband is Tim Daly and she is Tea Leoni which means the acting isn’t that good. Was her predecessor murdered? This was oversaturated with sap and has very dated Syria references.

Best Lines:
“You have no such ambition.”

“They’re always detaining some Westerner who had no business being there.”

“The importance of non-communication.”

“How unsuccessful?”

“That’s unsettling.”

“Operation Stupid Kids.”

“Think our private thoughts.”