March 31st, 2016


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Outlander’ season 2 promo
Are we supposed to forget she’s a cheater?

‘The Goldbergs’ promo

Best Line:
“Our baby is Baby!”

‘The People Next Door’ promo
People have a high level of agitation over their neighbours. Maybe.

Intense dark chocolate egg hand finished with gold lustre - okay.
Real eggshell filled with praline chocolate - yum.
Crisp and golden shortcake biscuits - nice.
Lemon/Hazelnut/caramel/milk truffle/intense truffle/salt caramel/orange crunch/hazelnut praline/raspberry chocolates - yum.

Dear relative: stop leaving the hob on and loo doors open and generally being stupid and thankless.

‘Raised By Wolves’ Quotes:
“Cock fan?”

“He’s so last month. Like that lumpy period I had.”

“People tripping so hard they were eating their own clothes.”

“Horrible din.”

“The man selling second hand sex toys.”

“He ain’t too proud to sleep in a bush.”

‘Watchmen’ Quotes:
“A flabby failure who sits whimpering in his basement.”

“A bloated, aging whore.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Tend to simply and politely falls down after the bang-bang of a rifle shot.”

“Died loud, lingering deaths.”

“Restrictive features.”

“Holds the silencing tactics of the establishment in utter contempt.”

“Genetically susceptible.”

“Legally precluded from examining complaints.”

“Robust input.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Stayed in a mental hospital in Finland because that was all he could afford.”

“Caravaneting through.”

“Well-calibrated acidity.”

“Gender expectations.”

“A definitely warning diarrhoea-colour.”

“Diarrhoea-coloured water.”

‘Irish Impudent’ Quotes:
“A man dropped a 13-foot python on the floor of a sushi restaurant.”

“Heinous provokers.”

“Eternal kidult inhabiting a frivolous world of entitlement.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“She married him for his life insurance money.”

“Physically, emotionally and financially destroyed my son.”

“When he needs food.”

“A proud and strong man at one point.”

“They accused me of cheating on him before I even cheated on him.”

“Makes me happy.”
”I don’t think it does.”

“Is this going to make you happy now?”

"Drunk in your underwear."

"A blowbox on your car for two years."

‘President Trump: Can He Really Win?’ Quotes:
“Is he or she godly?”

“He failed horribly.”

“See an uprising in this country.”

“How would you describe his taste?”

“Hyper-aggressive rhetoric.”

I’m watching ‘Hollyoaks’ again and one of the new family has died. Hypnotoad uses this as an excuse to shag one of the new family but ends up shagging her shrew mother Marnie instead. He’s classy like that. Holly caused the drunken deadly car crash cos she’s a drunken skank but for some reason Cleo takes the blame. A new copper shows up. Isn’t Pete supposed to be on trial? Didn’t they film that months ago? Have they dropped the plot? Jason and Robbie have left. WTF? WHY? Tegan forgets she’s a coke addict mourning Ziggy to chase after a new man.

The opening credits have changed and Jason and Robbie are gone. Cleo is thick. Esther has done something bizarre to her hair and is suspicious. Hypnotoad’s vile tattoos are shown off. Kim is in jail as Lindsey literally files her nails at work. Kim is deluded. Celine and Tegan fight over a hobo-looking guy who is Grace’s brother. Hypnotoad has a Marlon Brando tattoo on his flank. WHY?

Best Lines:
“Another one of yours.”

“I threw up 50 quids worth of cocktails!”

“My bad tattoos.”

“I have an infection meeting.”
Scary Books

Movie Review: The Triple Cross (1966)

The Triple Cross (1966)
Christopher Plummer stars in this true story about a low life thief named Chapman who in jail in Jersey when the Nazis invaded. So he offered to spy for them only to become a double agent for the allies. For his gallant assistance he got medals from both sides, in fact the Nazis gave him the Iron Cross.

Chapman is no hero and seems to be doing it for the fun. He is unhurried and pleasantly subversive with an unfiltered penchant for mischief. This film doesn’t do justice to the true story and has a lack of a sense of accomplishment. Chapman has no fierce loyalty to anyone and no moral responsibility either.

Trevor Howard pops up to puff on a pipe. Chapman says he’ll work for the allies for £10,000 and a medal. He is invidious and brazen with saleable vulgarity. He isn’t intimidated by a Nazi who wears sunglasses indoors surrounded by horrid interior design. It was extremely frustrating that full use was not made of Chapman’s bizarre life story. The Nazis have maladministration and any threat to Chapman is not substantive. Chapman has no fake humility and swans around with the French resistance. This could have been better.

Best Lines:
“Killing Germans the last time.”

“If you’re captured. Take this. Very effective.”

“You insist?”

“War safe.”

“British fair play.”

“I don’t trust banks. People will keep robbing them.”

“A nice shiny medal.”

“It’s destroyed all moral values.”

“You both seem overjoyed to see me.”

“Your buttons need shining.”
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Scary Books

The Flash 2x14 + Person Of Interest 4x21 + Blindspot 1x13 Reviewed

Escape From Earth-2
In this dull episode Zoom continues his infamously labyrinthine plot. Barry’s moral stance was dumb. Cisco is wildly energetic. Barry 2 wants solace. The man in the iron mask tries to get attention. Jesse is bitchy token eye candy and is completely ungrateful. This ep was not a beacon of interest. Barry is not noble and selfless because he has no personal credibility. What does iron mask’s non-verbal displays mean?

This has no distinctiveness and Snow is sheer frustration. Self-effacing Jay bores. Iris’ new boss is particularly harsh about the Flash and Iris’ skills as a writer. He does have a point about what is an acceptable response to the breakdown of trust in democratic institutions. Iris 2 has no civility or compromise.

Zoom inspires fear and dread. Iris 2 is not upset about a possible menacing intruder in her life. Jesse is implausibly bitchy, blankly sullen and nasty. This was not highly significant. Jay is so dispassionate. Harry is anxiety ridden. Iron mask dude can’t opine effectively and no-one listens to him or cares about his POW code. Barry is a fool. Killer Frost lurks in the woods. Why does her voice have reverb? Nobody cares about her or iron mask dude. This ends on a cliff-hanger. This show has lost something.

Best Lines:
“You did not come alone.”

“All of you will feel my wrath.”

“The infamous founder of STAR Labs.”

“Shut him up!”

“He’s not going to fall for another fake wall.”

“It’s a seminal episode.”

“He’s a bad guy. I’m calling it a lair.”

“I’ve tried. A lot.”

“Hunt us down until we’re dead.”

The fat cow Control is back and we are meant to care about her and the gang wars. Root looks for Shaw who may have gone bad. Elias the rubbish gangster shows up, a classic signifier of a crap ep. Nobody has a healthy sense of self-preservation. There is mumbling and strategic dilemmas. Finch ends up in a nut ward. There are perfunctory characters and this does not seem to have depth or meaning.

Root and Finch locate Samaritan. This was not complicated or dark. I’ve frustration at TPTB’s apparent unwillingness to make a good episode. A wayward loser wanders around. I was unenthusiastic about Greer being boring, Root and Finch being in peril, people dying and mumbling about The Correction.

Best Lines:
“A homeless dope fiend.”

“You have no idea what’s coming for you bitch.”

“Stuck in a dark basement with me.”

Erase Weary Youth
Nobody ever tells anyone anything. The Russian spy from earlier in the season is in court only to be drowned in the toilet by her own lawyer. The FBI has a mole and various annoying people annoy. The office does not have the best discipline. As people are interrogated, they have psychological discomfort. This was good and highly charged. There is mention of a Russian named Illya. Kurt is an arse. A burk has narrow-minded distrust. Jane is in peril. The mole is the obvious suspect. What is Jane up to? Kurt is not happy and people have suspicions about Jane.

Best Lines:
“This outfit’s been compromised, again.”

“Aunty Taylor.”

“What you tell me, I can’t trust.”

Book Reviews: Behind Closed Doors + Definitely Dead

Behind Closed Doors by B A Paris
Grace and Jack are newlyweds and the perfect couple. They are never apart, ever. This is a fast, frantic tale of a fairytale courtship and rapid marriage and a man who hides his real psychological identity. It is the tale of naïve, trusting, somewhat dim wife who has to be hyper-vigilant not to upset her husband. This was good but seriously Jack constantly boasts of his brilliance, has everyone on his side and has created deniable terms so if Grace tries to reveal she is a prisoner, she will be dismissed as mentally ill.

Nobody notices any of this and nobody thinks Grace’s distanciation is odd or that Jack’s exacting standards of happiness and creepy basement is a sign of something being very wrong? This was good if wildly implausible. Grace does try to ask for help only to be ignored and dismissed as a lunatic and nobody questions this? This non-affirmative relationship can only end one way but which way will it go?

Definitely Dead by Charlaine Harris
This 2007 ‘Southern Vampire’ novel sees Sookie susceptible to more men, dealing with weres and having emotional gaps in this dull read that is not written with implacable eloquence. This was not viciously funny and Sookie always seems inwardly angry and has a loss of clear purpose. This was not dark and complex and Sookie is not irrepressibly sardonic.

Sookie deals with witches, her dead cousin and idees fixes. This is not an allegory about the constrained existence of those who are neglected, stigmatised or unwelcome. It’s all about Sookie and her fragile ego and how she isn’t a critical thinker just obstreperous. Plots are ripped off from Dumas and this bored and it was dogged by failure to meet expectations and was hollow and oxymoronic.

Best Lines:
“Top of the mall chain.”

“I’ve seen at least two dozen bar fights, ranging from half-hearted punches to rolling-on-the-ground biting,”