February 23rd, 2016


Book Review: A Pocket Full Of Lies

Star Trek Voyager: A Pocket Full Of Lies by Kirsten Beyer
Janeway is the author’s Mary-Sue and Janeway is never wrong is her preferred narrative overlooking the fact that Janeway has difficultly functioning in the rational world. The crew are irritating kidults, a Janeway doppelganger has survivalist chic, there is sexual ensnarement by bad boys, an unworried unwell, rebuttable presumptions and contradictory plotting.

This has a clumsy ISIS parallel, a mention of Equinox and a tie-in to ‘The Year of Hell 1&2’. Janeway is painted as a paragon who does nothing wrong, ever. Babies make everything better apparently. Tom and Torres continue to be selfish. Annorax is remembered, there are temporal shenanigans, Tuvok returns to Voyager and acts like a loon. Riker is not yet an admiral in this book so how does it tie into the ‘Star Trek: Titan’ series? A crew member plans to get rid of her unwanted baby, there is whining and Janeway has no concept of risk analysis. This was terrible and the thought of reading any more of the VOY reboot is an appalling prospect.

Best Lines:
“Sormana had become a cultural blight.”

“Our greatest cultural tragedy.”

“Truths he could never tell.”

“She lied? Imagine my surprise.”

Trailers, Quotes and a 2003 Tape Tale

‘Legends of Tomorrow’ 1x06 promo
It’s 2046 and Oliver is still an ass. I feel boredom interspersed with more boredom.

‘The Night Manager’ 1x02 promo
I’ll stick with it.

‘Long Time Dead’ promo

‘Rose Red’ promo

‘Enemy of the State’ (1998) promo
Hell no.

‘The Silence of the Lambs’ (1991) promo

‘Scandal’ promo

‘This Is 40’ promo
“Bank commercial people!”

‘Line of Duty’ promo

Spanish hot chocolate - yum.
Mint Belgian dark chocolate bar - yum.

Paul Daniels is dying, shame.

‘Full House’ (1987 - 1995) was not that good.

So the 5th and 6th ‘Generation V’ novels aren’t going to be published? Boo!

There is a series 2 of 'Raised by Wolves'? And not one ad to be seen?

‘Gentleman Jole and the Red Queen’ Quotes:
“Leathery old bastard that he was.”

“Orthogonal to gender.”

“Some of the more repellent derelicts of time.”


‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Laziness and presumption.”

“Walking dejectedly.”

“A harmless embellishment.”

“Incredulous sarcasm.”

“So monotonous and obvious.”

“Slink conscientiously off.”

“Strongly vaginal.”

“Low-slung man-jeans.”

“Magnificently mindless.”


“Safe cupcake amendment.”

“I had a Kale juice that tasted like Shrek’s bathwater.”

“An era modesty forgot.”


“Versace is tailoring.”

“So irrational in their rage.”


“I didn’t really know what a secondary picket was.”

“Aware of some negative social media activity.”

“Shared realisation.”

“Casual and unalarmed.”

“Guilt for feeling angry, frustrated and bored.”

“Struggling with the moment-cherishing.”

“These messages are long (I mean, really long).”


“Setting all her clothes on fire in the yard.”

“Not looking at me honourably.”

“Extraordinarily dismissive.”


“How selfish parenting has got.”

“Has had to beg its parents not to smoke pot outside the school.”

“Children started urinating in the school playground.”

“Doesn’t approve of Twitter drama.”

‘Dickensian’ Quotes:
“Thwarted by an act of kindness.”

“Someone that I met in an ale-house.”

“Yet listen you will.”

“Our destinies are no longer aligned.”

“I will sob at her feet.”

“Please make him go.”

“Get him away from me!”

“What’s done is done.”

“Do the wrong thing with the best intentions.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Do something with me.”

“That’s what it always takes.”

“Find you in the hot tub with your best friend’s boyfriend.”

“With clarity and leadership.”

‘The Times’ Quotes:
“It is a well-recognised fact in the industry that parts of the cashmere trade have been corrupted.”


“Huge numinous concepts.”

“Narrow disapprovals.”

“Faint indecency.”

“Fusty agonising.”

“Infuriating assumptions.”

“Dangerous devil temptress.”

“Cruel disservice.”


“Weeping weirdoes.”

“Collapsed their identity into being a mother.”

Cleared out a tape from 2003. It began with the pilot episode of ‘Maximum Bob’ in which there is an annoying ghost, narration, okay opening credits and Liz Vassey as an annoying inquisitive lawyer. Things happen for little apparent narrative gain. A small town offends against taste. There is joyless writing and petty harassment. There is no darker seam or slyly subversive digs. This was not a deft account of Florida gothic. Bob the mad judge does obsessive moralising whilst trying to rid himself of his wife. The lawyer is an inauthentic shallow character and I did not like this.

Best Lines:
“My feelings of impotence and grief.”

“It all goes back to my folks being first cousins.”

“Sure hope daddy killed that gator good.”

Then came a ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ ep ‘Living Witness’ in which the Voyager crew are recalled as monsters by an alien race in the future. There is dark lighting, greasy hair and bad acting. This reinterpretation has no anarchic momentum. The cold and spiteful Janeway is more or less the same as the real Janeway. This ep has no substantive reason to be. The doctor gets a firestorm of hated but Robert Picardo can’t act so who cares. This was a prolonged awful thing.

Best Line:
“Maybe I can’t keep this up all day.”

Then came a ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Calling’ which was not a pivotal dark chapter.

Then came an ‘Angel’ ep ‘Home’ in which Lilah lurks despite being dead and damned to hell. Wesley forgot his love for Lilah pretty quickly to moon over Fred. TPTB do frantic show retooling. Connor is not cool, clipped or spare just annoying. Wesley tries to do dark but is still intrinsically cowardly and dumb. The show looks chintzier. Cordelia snoozes and Connor is mind-wiped and sent off to join the rugby playing class. This was ostentatiously bad. The increasingly pointless Connor and his trapper chic attire and grubby behaviour tainted this show for too long. Angel taking over Wolfram & Hart was a failed pathetic bid to be innovative and interesting.

Best Line:
“The contract she signed with them extends beyond her death.”
Scary Books

The Night Manager 1x01 + American Crime Story: The People v. OJ Simpson 1x02 +iZombie 1x06 Reviewed

The Night Manager (2016) 1x01
This BBC1 drama is based on a John Le Carre novel. It centres on a hotel concierge named Jonathan Pine (Tom Hiddleston) who is drawn into the realm of a vamp, a yappy bint (Olivia Coleman) and an arms dealer (Hugh Laurie). Pine is an ex-solider and broods. The git from ‘Being Human’ lurks. There is a lack of sympathy, death, grim deliberate acceptance, talking, negative connotations and ramifications. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Why would a burglar do that?”

“German porn.”

“There’s bloody napalm on here.”

“Religious lunatics.”

“He sells destruction.”

The Run Of His Life
Shapiro and Robert try to fix things. Vintage news broadcasts are used. Shapiro has highly clipped diction. The four little Kardashian kids love the attention their daddy gets on TV.  The infamous white Bronco chase takes place. Robert is a moron, there are 90s ties and no cool reflection. What became of AC? There is a conjunction of events, inconsequential minutiae, naked opportunism and a harm-benefit ration. The chase is a bizarre collective delusion. Sadly this ep was not hypnoagpdic. This hyperreal ambiguous historical narrative was far more difficult to engage with than 1x01.

Best Lines:
“Could we look more incompetent?”

“McMartin. Twilight Zone. Menendez.”

“Everything is terrible!”

“We ran out of cheese!”

Virtual Reality Bites
Liv looks into the death of an internet troll. Major is annoying as are his street kids. Blaine continues his relentless devious rise to power. Liv and her half-lived existence bore. Liv’s mother shows up as does the sketchy rocker (Bradley James). Blaine annoys. I am dissuaded from caring. The cougar zombie rebels but not for long. Blaine has increasing hostility and his plans make no sense. He also works in a shop called Meat Cute. This was not relevant and Liv is finally on to the obvious. Who has earned the attention of things best left sleeping?

Best Lines:
“Enough with the escalating drama.”

“I’m building the drama.”

“Fascist political screeds.”

“Warrior gnomes.”

“Skate skanks and hobos.”

“Hear the lamentations of your women.”

“Buy our logic on this.”

“Please don’t let me opening gross porn.”

“It was worth it.”