February 4th, 2016

Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Love's Deadly Triangle + Airport + Saturn 3

Love’s Deadly Triangle: The Texas Cadet Murder aka Swearing Allegiance (1997)
This is an okay true crime movie about the murder of Adrianne Jones (Cassidy Rae) by Diane Zamora (Holy Marie Combs) and David Graham. Diane and David had an obsessive teenage love story that devolved into cheating, murder, lies, a huge trial and no chance of parole until 2038. Diane and David’s planned marriage and military careers are long gone and remorse is nowhere to be seen.

Airport (1970)
A trashy disaster movie. The book was better if not jarringly realistic.

Saturn 3 (1980)
WTF is this?
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Days of Our Lives’ clip
Hope shoots the deeply irritating Stefano and his constant distain dead. Is he really dead this time? Good save for Hope’s bad cosmetic surgery.

Best Line:
“That banal dead husband of yours.”

Damien’ promo

‘Cabin Fever’ trailer
A remake of the 2002 horror using the same script. So human stress balls go to a remote cabin where not surprisingly un-nuanced things happen to said pathetic people. There is blood vomiting, rednecks, dogs and chasing. WHY?

Best Lines:
“I’m not dying like that.”

“Them kids got disease.”

“I don’t look so good?!?”

‘The X Files’ 1x04 promo

‘The Hidden’ (1987) trailer
Good trailer, not so good movie.

‘The Real Marigold Hotel’ promo

‘Zoolander 2’ promo

‘Concussion’ TV spot

‘Triple 9’ TV spot

Lemon & mint natural mineral water drink - uhhhh.
Dairy Milk Puddles choc - okay.

I won’t read ‘Twisted Winter’, ‘Terminal Freeze’ or ‘Complicit’.

Gobbler’s Knob is where Phil the groundhog lives?

There's to be a 'Flash' and 'Supergirl' crossover? HOW?

Anyone ever see the 1998 TV movie ‘The Town Bully’ starring David Graf as a man who terrorizes a town until he is done in? Ever see ‘In The Shadow of Kilimanjaro’ (1986) about starving baboons rampaging? It had a lurid VHS cover.

Other lurid VHS covers where those of ‘Motel Hell’, ‘Blood Diner’, ‘Killer Party’, ‘The Burning’, ‘The Beyond’, ‘Blood Beach’, ‘Black Roses’, ‘Blackout’ and ‘Evilspeak’.

Recall ‘Shoestring’? Hubba Bubba bubble gum? Wham bars? ‘Battle of the Planets’ bars? ‘Fortycoats’, ‘Chucklevision’? Queenie-I-o? Frogger? Cola bottles? Wibbly Wobbly Wonders? Super cola bottles? Fruit salads? 10p bags? Curly Wurly? Flogs? Mr Freeze? Red Rover? The Game of Life? Super channel? Smash Hits magazine? Jackie magazine? Bean bags?

Recall 4711?

‘Suckers’ Quote:
“I didn’t have any friends, unsuitable or otherwise.”

Great American Railroad Journeys’ Quotes:
“Railroad apartments.”

“All running water was outside.”

“Moral disposition.”

“Often alcohol fuelled.”

“The Dead Rabbit bar.”

“Cocktail historian.”

“Special American brashness.”

“The foundation of our culture.”

“Fell out of use.”

“Linear park.”

“A government willing to receive them.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Pontificating about how people should behave.”

“Threatened with force if they do not behave in a way their partner thinks appropriate.”

“Logical reasoning and problem solving.”

“Emotive passages.”

“Disinformation campaign.”

“So perfidious.”

“Sow disharmony.”

“Which they have understandably neglected.”

“Serious aggravating factor.”

“For something absolute.”

“Things should not be like this.”

“What are they welcoming them back for?”

“Implicit contradiction.”

“Luxuriating in another’s ineptitude.”

“The local dive bar has been reupholstered.”

“If you don’t have a bespoke tattoo, work in a “creative hub” or play in a band you don’t belong.”

“Reasonable risks.”

“Volente non fir injuria.”

“Justifiable law of probabilities.”

“Noted for sitting beside women on the Dalkey tram and dropping things under their seats by accident.”

‘Irish Independent’ Quotes:
“Worst tormentors.”

“Mocked out of office.”

“When any parent could discipline any kid or use him to carry groceries and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.”

“Instant and appealing solutions.”

“Must be sincere and like cows.”

“Demoralisation to decadence and dissolution.”

“Saintly endurance.”

“Unhappy situations.”

“Sound moral judgement.”

“Carefully cultivated persona.”

‘News’ Quote:
“Kidnapped him and stole his blood.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“A personality like a lawnmower.”

“Charmingly awful.”

“Notoriously dull.”

“Rid themselves of an increasingly bothersome pre-adolescent.”

“Arrogant belief.”

“Weepy, pharmaceutical daze.”

“An indignant and occasionally sneering attitude.”

“Openly confrontational.”

“A cold-blooded conspiracy.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Dirk still loves Cindy. The new family and their drama bore. Tony has another kid. Harry is a horrible selfish jerk. Maxine cracks up. Tegan is selfish and Lindsey tries to murder Esther, again.
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Starbound + Sassinak

Starbound by Dave Bara
The sequel to ‘Impulse’ is full of action, contentious ‘romance’, weird racial intimations and non system compliance. There is dull action, dull plotting and a potentially interesting space soap dies under a realm of technobabble, incoherent grievances and a preoccupation with ‘romance’. I don’t care about the wastrel characters and am expunging this series from my reading list.

Best Line:
“I quietly hoped she was as good at interstellar geolocation as I thought she was.”

The Planet Pirates Volume 1: Sassinak by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Moon
This 1990 novel is dated with talk of language tapes, videos, teaching tapes and has realms of technobabble. It also has made up languages like Neo-Gaesh, Harish, Innish-Ire and Standard that all seem to be English. Anyway in the future pirates raid colonies and either kill people or seize them as slaves. Sassinak is a child when her colony of Myriad is raided and her family killed and she is enslaved. A fellow slave named Abe is Fleet and helps her to survive. After babbling about cold sleep, Conditioning and Discipline, the Federation of Sentient Planets show up and Sassinak and Abe are rescued by page 34.

Cue more babbling about Old Terra, fluxnet and Abe calling himself a gimpy crip. Sassinak goes to the Fleet Academy with no PTSD. Human are all vegans now. At the Academy Sassinak meets various aliens and encounters xenophobia and attempted rape. The Paraden clan are obvious baddies and the Weft, Seti, Ssli, Ryxi and Thek aliens don’t do much apart from the mineral life form Thek eating transuranics. Heavyworlders moan about their lot.

From the author of the ‘Pern’ and ‘Tower and Hive’ novels comes this future that has no internet bizarre plot contrivances, a space Fleet that can’t stop slavers - which shakes the public faith a little and a cover that shows a hairdo from another century wearing 80’s-tastic shoulder pads. People show bias to aliens and trashumans and the Paraden family’s widespread participation in evil is blatantly painfully obvious. The world building makes no sense, the plot makes no sense and this is like a bad ‘Star Trek’ fanfic.

Best Lines:
“A swarm of adults tried to overwhelm the pod with sheer numbers, even as they died, but not before Sass what had halted it. Her parents had thrown themselves into the tracks to jam them.”

“Eating fish? Eating life forms?”

“She Garvis went crazy and attacked the class with an ore cutter.”

“Expostulate bitterly.”

“A good brawl intruded on common sense.”

Person Of Interest 4x13 + The X Files (2016) 1x03 + Supernatural 10x18 Reviewed

Root and Reese stomp around a town doing violent and threatening things. Fusco bores. This has no resonance. The snotty IA cop is back but now she’s working gangs. She’s thankless and contentious. Common assumptions are wrong. Reese and Rot act aggressively. These people are all jerks. So much for iron control. This was discombobulatingly terrible. There is misplaced anger and blame. Seriously WTF is wrong with them? Greer has Shaw and he can keep her.

Best Lines:
“Bad things happen here when you ask questions.”

“We can’t become monsters.”

Mulder And Scully Meet The Were-Monster
Technically this is season 10 I suppose. A monster becomes a man in this Darin Morgan written and directed tale. Tyler Labine shows up again as a druggie the same character he played in ‘War of the Coprophages‘ and ‘Quagmire‘. Mulder is on meds. Scully has no desk but her hair is red again. She’s bony and Mulder’s suit doesn’t fit. Mulder can’t work his camera app. Where’s Tad? Mulder sleeps in his red Speedos. Mulder makes persuasive arguments, Scully is in peril, there is a mention of Scully’s dog and Scully steals herself a new dog. This was okay, but why?

Best Lines:
“Bored and or crazy.”

“They think I’m on crack.”
“Are you?”

“The internet is not good for you.”

“Myths originally concocted to explain away the violent behaviour of people who’d been bitten by rabid animals.”

“This is how I like my Mulder.”

“Looking for some kind of internal logic.”

Book of the Damned
This has sultry head turns, deep voices and a remarkably appropriate title but it was still stupid. The angels don’t spend their time as the theological chattering elite mumbling Holy Writ no they fight and kill each other. Castiel is distinctly staid and why is he still on the show? Charlie shows up to be hollow and self serving, she is not endearingly daft no matter how hard TPTB push the manic pixie dream girl on us.

There are no real authentic moments just padding and terse responses. The brothers are living a life wildly different from season 1. There are no relics of decency in this largely unadventurous ep. A new social evil the Styne family show up. There is a book of malevolentia and ill-will. Crowley has a mother. Sam pulls faces and still can’t act. This was made with staggering incompetence. This show is in terminal decline and gives no cultural enrichment.

Best Lines:
“I ain’t your friend.”

“All kinds of wrong.”