January 8th, 2016

Richard/Lost

Blindspot 1x07 + Z Nation 1x12 Reviewed

Sent On Tour
This was a vast improvement and was okay. I’ll stick with this show for now. Who is tree tattoo guy? The gang find a dangerous criminal (Lou Diamond Philips) in a secessionist town. Blondie has issues with her bumbling intellectual boyfriend. Nobody has any understanding of or consideration for sense. Jane makes uncheckable claims. The criminal is an icon of dissipation. Kurt seems deprived of his enjoyment of life. Blondie annoys with relentless vigour. There are simmering tensions and Kurt tries to be bone-gnawingly tough. People act in reckless and strange ways. Jane can fly a helicopter apparently. Blondie isn’t concomitant. Mayfair is an example of leadership failure.

Best Lines:
“Damn sure not her call.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t see anything.”

“I’m FBI, that’s how.”

“We’re not with you anymore.”

“Assess his threat level.”

“Did you really think we wouldn’t find you?”

~
Murphy’s Law
Murphy is not known for his temperance. The gang finally run out of ammo and have to kill zombies with golf clubs. Murphy is lacking in moral fibre and brains. The gang run into three shifty types who act disfavourably and without consideration. Murphy is utterly unfit to be a hero. Murphy’s talismanic power over zombies (and humans) grows. Cassandra shaves her armpits. The three baddies are emotionally constipated and can’t act. Zombies on Ritalin and Viagra are encountered. This lacks wit and is plodding and serviceable. The main baddie is a petulant milksop who wants to rob drugs. The fatalism of the conclusion plays out to the extremely bitter end. This was lonely, grinding and empty and how did they get more ammo?

Best Lines:
“That is an understatement.”

“Getting that vibe.”

“Something wrong?”
“Always.”

“I don’t like the way he said that!”
Scary Books

Book Review: Before Dishonor

Star Trek: The Next Generation: Before Dishonor by Peter David
This 2007 novel ups the ante with a Borg attack, Picard disobeying orders and sparking a mutiny on his ship and Kathryn Janeway being made into a Borg Queen and getting killed off. The Janeway ‘death’ was undone by later ‘Star Trek: Voyager’ books, people shrug off the mutiny and Pluto being ‘eaten’ was apparently forgotten. The humorous tone, shoehorning in of Seven and Spock, the changing character of poor Leybenzon, making this the sequel to ‘Vendetta’ that nobody asked for and the author validating his own opinion of Worf being a noble savage bubbling with mischief were fatal slips.

The multiple dull narratives, bad writing, problematic character interaction, Picard’s chilly relationship with his new crew, Lady Q showing up to be beatific and Janeway having severe fear avoidance beliefs makes this book highly provocative but unprofessional and inconsistent. The author inflames readers opinions but his 80s/90s style of ‘writing’ isn’t really what people are accustomed to nowadays. There is a Calhoun cameo, Starfleet is only mildly military and the final two chapters are ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“Those who support you in any manner are simply acting as enablers to your delusions of infallibility.”

“Words are useless.”
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘My Sweet Audrina’ trailer
This looks terrible.

‘Bones’ season 11 promo
Is this still on?

‘Goosebumps’ promo
No.

‘Code Black’ promo
No.

‘The Conjuring 2’ teaser trailer
Overcooked.

‘The Flash’ trailer
Real Reverse Flash, Earth2 Iris and Killer Frost.

‘Damien’ trailer
Mmmmm.

Hot Irishman fudge - okay.
Salted caramel fudge - good.
Luxury shortbread - no.
All Butter Irish Shortbread - good.
Gluten free spelt bread - good.
Baked potato crisps sour cream herb and onion - good.
Peach and Vanilla mini ice cream dessert - okay.

Dear houseguests: stop buying veal and screwdrivers you don’t need. Stop lying in bed, sneering at frozen quail, drinking to excess and claming to have ‘back pain’. You bought chips twice and didn’t tell us. You bought unneeded eggs and milk and don’t clean up after yourselves. Why can’t you recycle?!?

There are coywolves?

‘Jekyll & Hyde’ has been axed. Good.

‘Bloodlines’ Quotes:
“We can expect no mercy from one who has been shown none.”

“His chance to prove he’d got real talent, not just rampant sex-appeal.”

“She sits brooding there like a toad brewing poison.”

“The gutter choked with yesterday’s pig-killing.”

“Had a dour priestish look to him.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Antagonise me day in day out.”

“Constantly call the cops on me.”

“I hope you fall over dead.”

“Kill him right back.”

“Does that seem like a reasonable and proportionate response?”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Union sacree.”

“Worrying about dog-drama and crazies.”

“Severance of ties.”

“Will not hesitate to inflict extreme violence on you.”

“Come to the attention of his community.”

“A lack of knowledge and insight.”

“That is CSI stuff. That doesn’t happen in real life.”

“They had no significance.”

‘Alive!’ Quotes:
“Incapable of any principle.”

“This censorship and false history.”

“Modern pc cant.”

“Mean, bitter and cruel.”

“Manufactured history on an unprecedented scale.”

“Banned from featuring napkins folded in the shape of a bishop’s mitre.”

“Must make no concessions.”

“The virgin stigmatisation.”

“Sexy sexiness.”

“He identifies tempting situations to avoid such as an empty house, dark room or a seductive movie.”

“Fairly disinterested.”

“Their complete indifference.”

“Phenomenal malignity.”

“Wild, agenda-driven conclusion.”

“Disproportionate.”

“Declaring outage over song lyrics, adverts and compliments.”

“Pity-me identity politics.”

“Sufficiently serious circumstances.”

“Immanent.”

“A time to refrain from embracing.”

“Shallow sentimentalist.”

“Free enjoyment.”

“Deliberate conscious exercise of the will.”

“They think they have made a mistake, and that the real soul-mate is still to find.”

“Might indeed very profitably have married.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“La box anti-gaspi.”

“Entrenchment of inequality.”

“Anachronistic application of 21st-century value judgments to historical figures.”

“The same dread category.”

“Heads nod in appreciation.”

“My words sound vague.”

“Limber up your ribcage.”

“Maybe you work with enlightened men.”

“Isn’t an inherently bad approach.”

“An ever-shifting moodboard.”

“With a swimming pool in a lurid, chemical, Hockney blue.”

“The fethishisation of the loft apartment.”

“Gazing enigmatically down.”

“Fetishises the coziness of indoors.”

“He wasn’t so famous back then.”

“Trickster mastermind.”

“Speaks with his teeth clenched throughout.”

“He’s just here to die!”

“You didn’t feel it viscerally.”

“Farting broke the tension, as farts tend to do.”

“Was still in his pre-born-again days, was a rampant eccentric, a hilarious nut job.”

“If that sounds complicated, it’s way more complicated that that.”

“If you like your crime dramas dimly lit, ably acted, only occasionally preposterous and clock-full of cut-open dead bodies.”

“Enthusiasm gap.”

“A walking liability.”

“Accused her stepsons of tricking her out of her inheritance.”

“I knew something was wrong when they took away my horses.”

“Illusion of infinite choice.”

“Monotonous flavour hit.”

“They train us to expect all food to taste this way.”

“Ha! Tricked you into eating root vegetables.”

“Children are powerless at the table. They cannot control what is put in front of them, where they sit, or whether they are spoken to kindly or harshly as they eat.”

“Whining of an interested party.”

“Such a huge - though little mentioned - problem.”

“Hedonic shift.”

“The warmth and authority of a parent.”

“Assuming that you are not living in a state of famine, the greatest determinant of how well you eat is the way you have learned to behave around food.”

“Immensely complex.”

“Relearning through experience.”

“Relearn the food experiences that first shaped us.”

“Hardening of positions.”

“Apparently kidnapped while hunting with falcons.”

“Expensive squalor.”

“Used a kitchen knife to carve violent threats into the wall.”

“With half a bottle of vodka and a packet of paracetamal, sat in a toilet with his feet against the door and refused to come out.”

“Had never liked him, never wanted him, thought he was too much trouble.”

“Not about recognition or thanks.”

“Overzealous.”

“It was a wrong assumption.”

“There’s the feeling of not being wanted.”

“Crimen injuria.”

“Imbue with negative emotions and attachments.”

“His face is like an angelic marmoset.”

“An emotional experience.”

“On Bingo chatrooms.”

“The suggestion that cooking at different heats would give him a parasite infection.”

“Looks like a prison meal waiting to be slid through a hatch.”

“Skulked in the candlelit corridors of the Tudor court.”

“Question moral values.”

“Neighbours would kick the door of my flat as they passed.”

“Modifying your self-talk.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“You’re fat and your mom’s naked on the internet!”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“We will not overlook it.”

‘Six One’ Quote:
“Active in golf course design.”

‘Great British Railway Journeys’ Quote:
“Free from the taint of pauperism.”

‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ Quote:
“Dark incantations. Always overwritten.”

‘Irish Independent’ Quotes:
“Intellectual inadequacy.”

“Listens to no one.

‘Homes Under The Hammer’ Quote:
“Unadopted road.”

‘The Gloss’ Quotes:
“Disturbing satisfaction.”

“Hygge.”

“Contrived perfection.”

“We would have been on some kebab millions of years ago.”

“Now you’re urinating it out without having tasted it.”
Pretty Smart

Movie Reviews: Zombie High + Argo + The Force Awakens

Zombie High (1987)
Virginia Madsen, James Wilder, Sherilyn Fenn and future director Paul Feig star in this horribly non-compelling ‘horror’. A ‘girl’ (Madsen) goes to a prep school. Cheesy 80s music plays, there are dated clothes, a punk and bad acting. Madsen and Fenn have bad perms.

There is no malicious insanity as the students are stripped of individuality. This was not contemplative and there is a total lack of tension. One of the co-writers of this was Aziz Ghazal who later committed a murder/suicide.

Anyway this was nondescript, not catastrophic just astoundingly dull. There is fateful foreshadowing and TPTB have an infallible touch for getting things wrong. There is dated tech, stalking, pay phones and Madsen’s ex (Wilder) lurks. Just don’t bother.

Best Lines:
“I’m personal friends with Ralph Lauren.”

“Don’t cross me John. This school is your last chance.”

“Real friendly people you got around here.”

“This place smells of success.”

“Did you hear something?”
“No.”

“Somebody’s tuition cheque must have bounced.”

“Carpe diem!”

“My whole theory is inbreeding.”

“Brotherhood of eternal knowledge.”

~
Argo (2012)
Based on a true story. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was stormed. Six people escaped onto the street and hid at the Canadian ambassador’s house. Unilateral action is needed. CIA agent Tony (Ben Affleck who also directs) must overcome insurmountable hurdles to get them out of Iran. He plans to fake a movie shoot and smuggle them out. He has help from Agency people and Hollywood types as radicalism threatens the very very quiet six. This was laudable. Tony has big heartedness and ample experience. The six have general discomfort due to Iran’s credo and men saying angry, scary things. This was not accurate to facts from a historical perspective.

Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin, John Goodman, Victor Garber, Tate Donovan, Kyle Chandler and Titus Wlliver feature. Tony and the six must escape negative reactions. This was okay and done with aplomb despite being deeply unrealistic and full of desperate ravings and tedious old men.

Best Lines:
“They die badly. Publicly.”

“They’re over the walls.”

“If you shoot one person they’re gonna kill every single one of us in here.”

“Reassemble the shreds.”

“Provide them with maps to the Turkish border.”

“Worst place you can think of.”

“A 20 million dollar ‘Star Wars’ rip-off.”

“A town of 4 million people. All of whom chant ‘Death to America’ all the live long day.”

“If you are detained, the Agency will not claim you.”

“They’ll kill you long before prison.”

“John Wayne’s in the ground six months. This is what’s left of America.”

“If you are detained for questioning, they will bring in someone who knows that.”

~
Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)
This was okay and made with grim determination to bury the prequels. Old and new faces come together as the First Order takes on the Resistance. People look old, people fight, there is pretty scenery, recalcitrant people with opaque motives and odd names and yet another take on the Death Star. Foreshadowing flies, there are brutal levels of psychological violence, Adam Driver emotes, there is humour and this was unsubtle and too long. Kylo Ren (Driver) has messianic views and the First Order has more Nazi iconography than ‘Triumph of the Will’.
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