January 3rd, 2016


Trailers, Quotes and a 2000 Tape Tale

‘Zombie High’ (1987) trailer
This horror has plastic makeup, Virginia Madsen, explosions and bad acting. It looks cheesy fun.

Best Line:
“Where the teachers and students never die!”

‘Dag’ promo
No wonder this sitcom was cancelled.

‘Beowulf: Return to the Shieldlands’ promo

‘Jericho’ promo
Not the Skeet Ulrich show. No.

‘100 Code’ promo

‘Wits Academy’ promo

Best Line:
“Evil never sleeps.”

Dark chocolate shortcake ring biscuit - no.
Gluten free cherry and Belgian white chocolate chunk cookies - okay.
Irish Farmhouse tomato relish - good.
Inglewhite Goat’s cheese - good.

I will review ‘We Are All Completely Fine’, ‘In A Dark Dark Wood’ and ‘Oneiros’.

Sunny citrus complexion bar smells okay.

The 2014 movie ‘Mrs Brown’s Boys D’Movie’ was terrible.

The photo of the shell of a prehistoric armadillo was impressive.

Dear houseguests: stop moaning and ordering takeout and then throwing it out uneaten because you don’t like it. That was sinful. Stop posting crap on Facebook for attention and faking an ‘allergy’ to detergent.

‘The X Files’ Quotes:
“Your dour demeanour, your unimaginative necktie design.”

“Are you sick?”

“Human piranha act.”

“May I ask why?”

“Nature abhors normality.”

“Pathological resentment.”

“Tabernacle of terror.”

“Geeks are neither skilled nor curiosities, they’re merely unseemly.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“My body is my brain bag.”

“Fight for you outfit.”

“Give credence.”

“Discussing the possibility.”

“Has not been on amicable terms.”

“Possible deterioration in ties.”

“Deliver negative impacts.”

“Admirable loyalty and competence.”

“Ageless feuds.”

“Bizarre enclave.”

“It’s amazing how quickly the cold shoulder came.”


“Do that again and I’ll put you on eBay.”

“Power is dangerous and fragile, yet everybody wants it.”

“Subsume their personality into a collective whole.”


“Lasting shame.”

“Can’t possibly assuage, rectify or heal.”

“Small, helpful suggestions.”

“Unasked for suggestions.”


“Vessel for longwinded political tangents.”

“A failure of imagination.”

“En plein forme.”

“A despicable turtle’s fart.”

“Encouraging atmosphere.”


“A permanent outrage.”

“Unsettling foresight.”

“Nobody quite believes him when he tries to do normal.”

“Rediscovered his gift for strangeness.”

“Overmediated time.”

“Bulwark against everything they stand for.”


“I wanted to know what happened next even when I didn’t care.”

“Moral and intellectual sloth.”

“Capacity for spontaneous insight isn’t that far away from that of Jeremy Clarkson.”

“Force does not work the way its advocates seem to think it does.”

“She escaped from Wentworth after hearing that Gary had died in a tractor accident and was shot dead by the police.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Accommodate, tolerated or labelled.”

“Deacons of integrity, indomitable true believers.”

“Recognition payment.”

“An inclusive definition.”

“A concept it has so far refused to define.”

“Ratchet up the pressure.”

“Failed to resolve.”

“Threats or menaces.”

“Surprisingly strong dislike of unpleasant scenes.”

“Not in the interests of the common good.”

“Fears of the moral future.”

“The lowering of Christian standards.”

“Pernicious effects.”

“Lives of decent people threatened in the streets and even in their homes.”

“A direct consequence of indecent behaviour.”

“Unrestrained passion.”

“Look at the temptations.”



“Damaging public rift.”

“Misconduct accusations.”

“Protests have largely run out of steam but some opposition remains.”

“Been constantly lectured.”

“Not shown enough interest.”

“Look at me taking action.”


‘Irish Independent’ Quotes:
“Using my chair as a footstool.”

“Obviously he felt no need to reciprocate.”

“A horde of hairy, anarchic, leather-clad, denim-wearing men.”

“Precarious work.”

“Without merit.”


“Mythical qualities.”


“They provide no advantage.”

“Frequently ridiculed.”

“Has very little social media cachet.”

“Via careful collaborations.”

“Just get paid in clothes.”

“A very uncertain sum.”

“An image of uniformity.”



“Characteristically pragmatic view.”

“You’ll get thrown away like a toothpick.”

“Have you ever played tennis? You did? You probably weren’t very good.”

“I’m not bleedin’ Dumbledore.”

“You have about as much charisma as my underpants.”

‘The Daily Telegraph’ Quotes:
“An unbelievable snub.”

“Giggling, embarrassing and incredibly patronising.”

“Tokenistic twaddle.”

“Shattered the good name of her family.”

“Pursue its ideology.”

“Lazy, wrong and embarrassing.”



“Becoming an expensive joke.”

“At almost every decision point.”

“Unavoidable situations.”


“Social disorders.”

“Lateral thinking, spatial reasoning and pattern recognition.”

“Cautious relationship.”

“Has been jailed on three continents.”

“How heavy is the traffic in downtown Pyongyang?”

“Belligerent speech.”


“Nobody really believes him.”

“Rather ill-advised.”

“Intriguing and exhilarating prospect.”

“Wrecked so much havoc.”


“Assess flavour learning.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Blaming and threatening others is standard practice.”

Cleared out a 2000 tape. It began with a ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Rescue’ in which they’re on the surface facing bad CGI and this was horrible. Then came a ‘Jack of All Trades’ ep ‘Raging Bully’ in which the tracking was horribly bad and Napoleon (played by Mini-Me) shows up. This was horrid. Then came an ‘Andromeda’ ep ‘The Pearls That Were His Eyes’ in which the original theme music plays. Kevin Sorbo hated it and had it changed. The tracking is way off. Beka deals with her uncle (John De Lancie). This was dull.

Then there was a tacky TV movie from 1997 ‘Crowned and Dangerous’ in which a nasty beauty queen named Shauna (Cassidy Rae of ‘Models Inc’) is murdered. Shauna and her big hair was a beauty queen rival to Danielle (Yasmine Bleeth) and her tacky clothes and skunk hair. This was a dull yet high camp tale of feuding over an idiot ‘hunk’ (George Eads). There is caked on fake tan, the ‘hunk’ has a nasty mother (Gates McFadden), there is romance, big crowns, cheating and a persistence to win. Shauna was increasingly nasty and Danielle was increasingly desperate leading to an extreme variant on ambition. This is allegedly based on a true story. Shauna had it coming, the ‘hunk’ is dumb and the obvious murderer goes crazy and does over-theatrical delivery.

Best Lines:
“This crown is mine.”

“I didn’t win it.”

“Nothing like a beauty queen in danger.”

“I know your type and what you want.”

“I’ll make you the same deal I made that other slut.”
Scary Books

Book Reviews: Search And Rescue + An Inconvenient Woman + A Rock And A Hard Place

Quantum Leap: Search And Rescue by Melissa Crandall
This 1994 novel is the only semi-decent novel based on the show. Through mismanagement Al leaps into a plane crash survivor in the Canadian wilderness. Sam is one of the rescue team and faces fierce opposition from a jerk who finds various ways to cascade the rescue. This was okay but despite the author’s valiant attempts to say otherwise, Sam was a terrible friend to Al.

An Inconvenient Woman by Dominick Dunne
This 1991 novel was inspired by a real life murder case. This book tells the story of white trash Flo March who becomes a rich man’s mistress. But a series of events involving murder, blackmail, corruption and sleaze make Flo an inconvenient woman to the 1% who find things would be simplified if Flo were no longer around. This was good, a neat dissection of the rich and their presumption and entitlement. Flo is ill-used by her selfish lover who sees her as a trophy and a toy. Her lover’s wife is a bad mother, creates a passionless marriage and is a terrible person. Also Flo’s own bad judgement costs her dear as she wanders into a sensitive and potentially vulnerable position without caution. This was made into a good miniseries.

Best Lines:
“What kind of club?”
“The kind that wouldn’t let you in.”
“As a member, you mean.”
“Not even as a guest of a member. Not even for lunch.”
“How come?”
“You’re not their type.”

“You’ve never seen such awful flowers.”

“And yet she doesn’t seem to work.”
“Or do much of anything,”

“Monograms are tacky.”

“Don’t come home. Not now. Not ever.”

Star Trek The Next Generation #10: A Rock And A Hard Place by Peter David
In this 1990 novel, Riker the personification of boredom is sent off to have an adventure on a newly terraformed world. The Enterprise gets a new XO, Stone, who is an obviously disturbed PTSD sufferer. A fact which is treated with total and utter disregard by everyone. A farrago of nonsense ensues. The repugnant and immoral Stone is an obvious dry run for David’s Calhoun character in his ‘New Frontier’ books. Stone taunts and causes palpable discord whilst Troi is emphatic. This is increasingly unconvincing and characteristically sexless. When Stone does a big reveal of what made him this way, it is hyperbolic, bleak and not remotely credible. This was strictly generic and you don’t care about Stone or his frustrated ambition, festering resentment and homicidal intent.

Best Lines:
“I don’t like those choices.”

“They can’t make me go to the brig either.”

“Nonjudgemental lovers of different lifestyles that we are, we let them.”

Sherlock: The Abominable Bride (2016) Reviewed

This New Year’s Day special was set in 1895 and made my head hurt. Holmes and Watson meet. They become famous and bitch at each other. Mary Watson shows up to bore and annoy. A murderous bride/unloved lost soul, Emelia Ricoletti, kills people. Molly Hooper poses as a man, Holmes does not notice. Mycroft is fat. A man receives five orange pips. Moriarity is dead or maybe he isn’t. Things don’t make sense and go deleteriously. People are distraught and there are no intentions or strategy apart from Holmes scoffing and sneering.

There is no subtext. Irene Adler’s photo shows up. Morarity shows up to be repellent. There is no renewed sense of moral purpose just hints of the gathering past that becomes all about tawdry nightmares and reality making. This was much emptier than I hoped. There was comprehensive negation of sense and things got increasingly retrogressive. There is casual malevolence, emoting, evil women, malicious intent, the mind palace and hints for series 4. The question does remain though: which one is the essential, irreducible core identity? Who is hallucinating who?

Best Lines:
“You’ve been in Afghanistan I perceive.”

“He’s always been like that.”

“Dismembered country squires.”

“An unsavoury companion of dubious morals.”

“Impossibly imbecilic.”

“Pray continue with your fascinating narrative.”

“An unprincipled drug addict was some kind of gentleman hero.”

“I assume she was capable of finding a reason.”

“I am your closest friend.”
“I concede it.”

“All emotion is abhorrent to me.”

“He will seek you out.”
“I’ll be waiting.”

“Hasn’t this all happened before.”

“Ricoletti and his abominable wife.”

“I should be inclined to stop you.”

“Heighten my thought process.”


“His mad sibling.”

“A league of furies.”

“Gothic enough?”


“A trifle lurid.”
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