November 27th, 2015


Supergirl 1x05 + Reign 2x19 Reviewed

How Does She Do It
Alex trusts Hank. Cat has a son named Carter. Lucy is a JAG lawyer. Alex shows off her special DEO badge. This was okay pretty glossy TV. Maxwell Lord has opportunism and pleased contempt. I don’t think Winn has good and friendly intentions. Carter is some anguished genius. Kara gazes longingly at James who is currently preoccupied with Lucy. Kara galumphs around National City. Maxwell Lord acts like he is in a David Mamet play and didn’t bother to tell anyone else. Bombs go off,

I guess Maxwell Lord and his fecklessness and overstated flare will be an extended plotline. This was okay but lacked pizzazz. Why isn’t Kara wet after falling into the ocean? A patsy takes the fall for the bombs. Lucy is all venal, opportunistic envy. Winn will turn bad due to psychosexual elements I’m sure. Maxwell Lord basks in his deeper rupture with goodness and dumps a hefty serving of judgment on people.

Kara fixes Lucy and James’ love affair turned nasty and commits child neglect. Hank’s strong; he’s a robot isn’t he? Lord Air Terminal is in peril, not. The patsy is coaxed into lucidity. How do Kara’s boots stand up to stopping a train? Where is Astra? Where is the kryptonite? Where does Kara get her horrid clothes? Maxwell Lord is glib, has destructive thoughts and acts with aggression. He’s also kind of silly. Why didn’t they cast John Shea? Kara the morality protector should be wary of Lord’s chilling negation of sanity and dire acting ability.

Best Lines:
“Please don’t yell at me, this isn’t my job”

“You don’t seem concerned by that.”

“Take that friend zone.”

“The fulcrum weight of a helium core.”

“Which way?”

“He left us first.”

“Their internal organs melted.”

Louis is not given succour by Mary. Where are all the servants? Kenna has dis-inhibitions. Francis lacks all nuance and creates unholy messes. Narcisse and Catherine paw at each other. This was all musty processed blandness with no compelling variegated depth. Kenna whines about Bash offering little in the way of excitement.

Lola and Kenna realise Greer is a Madam and living in a brothel. Greer is sexed up and nobody chastises her for violating cultural rules. Francis and his endless daily verbal violence against Mary bores. Mary is numbed with despair or something. Francis is not formidably intense. Louis is a sad echo of what he was. Bash wears armour. Bad people have gunpowder - foreshadowing! Choir boys are in peril in troubling circumstances. There is no carefree existence as Mary’s nostalgic return to Scotland is off, for now.

The real Mary’s behaviour was always something of an embarrassment. She liked being relaxed and free with various men who were and weren’t her husbands. Her proudest achievement was being executed. Anyway there is provisional approval for dumb plans. There are blasé accumulative stupid decisions. Conde is a joyful braggart. Francis resents Mary. There is a wildly inaccurate depiction of Elizabeth I’s foreign policy. Conde seriously reassesses his future. There is no de-escalation of tensions just planned provocations and growing disquiet.

Louis, Prince of Conde founded a royal cadet line that was still around in the time of Louis XVI. His plot in this ep makes no sense. There is inadmissible jealously and this was tepid, pretentious, tedious and self-indulgent. Things are too easy to misunderstand and Kenna tries to hook a new man. Conde is treated in an evasive and cold manner and is the subject of a devastating diatribe in which Francis is bitter, churlish, jealous, envious and abandoned.

The soft-centred long slow march to the end of Mary’s life goes on. There is no remorse and embarrassment by Mary. And no love, commitment and a shared life by Mary and Francis. Bitterness and fury fly. This ep was all feebleness and appalled disbelief. No one is emotionally courageous just incandescent and incendiary. My interest has dissipated and quality has been dismissed.
Earth shattering mistakes are made. Catherine and Francis are increasingly intolerant and bossily stupid. TPTB don’t seem aware of how proxy marriages work. I’m increasingly exasperated with sad sack Mary. Francis is irritating, anti-social, agitated, naggy and a constant annoyance with his chronic whinginess and acute self-pity. All the terror, guilt, manoeuvring, expediency and revenge bores.

Best Lines:
“You don’t have any friends.”

“Your doings are none of mine.”

“I no longer care what you do.”

“It’s bound to be ghastly.”

“I will carry out your word.”

“Confusing gratitude with love.”

“Nothing will keep him safe.”

“I’d want me dead.”

“They’ve undone the wedding.”

“Fierce and immediate threats.”

“Eyeing a man in a whore house.”

“Her appointed proxy.”

“King Louis of England.”

“The common boys.”

“Mere words.”
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Jeruzalem’ trailer
Morons go to Israel and eyeball men and then judgment day erupts. This does not look narratively interesting with monsters, water, gunshots, demons and blood.

‘Sisters’ promo

‘Bugs In The Kitchen’ ad

‘How To Change The World’ promo

‘Fast & Furious 6’ promo

‘Og On The Bog’ ad

Pate - yum.
Chapon chocolat noir 76% - good.

The posters for ‘Shadowhunters’ are pure cheese.

An Aged Paper scented room spray? Yay, want it!

I will review ‘Legends of Tomorrow’, ‘A School For Unusual Girls’, ‘Art in the Blood’, ‘The Square Root of Summer’, ‘Departure’, ‘Elusive Salvation’, ‘A Wicked Thing’ and ‘Time Salvager’.

‘Modern Family’ Quotes:
“Sex Grenade.”

“What is that smell?”

“Eggplant jelly?”

“They put me in the ballbag.”

“Your swipe-card wine.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quote:
“People make choices and face the consequences.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“How do you represent reality on television.”

“No-frills, handheld authenticity.”

“Lace it with just the right amount of humour, subplot, character detail and so on.”

“Lack of authenticity in the dialogue.”

“All suspiciously and simultaneously changed their evidence.”

“Glad tidings.”

“Only a churl.”


“Main gripe.”

“Expressed incredulity.”

“Fearsome reputation.”

“Anxious and fearful.”


“Elegantly poised and intimated.”

“Live sincerely.”

“Alienating to wider society.”

“The tat is something they revel in, and it becomes very important for them.”

“Misconduct meetings.”

“Low effectiveness.”

“Trashed his reputation.”

“Did not appear coincidental.”

“False and legally inaccurate.”


“Contradictory indicators.”

“Minimalist packaging.”

“Shoutest loudest.”

“Moral and spiritual obligation.”

“One spectacular stunt.”

“Disastrously ill-thought out move.”

“Loudly and decidedly.”

“Fearless, inquisitive and exerting boundless common sense.”


“Rigorously demanding.”

“Paired sadness.”

“Faultless motives.”

The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“You don’t have to live here.”

“I put the ass in assisted living.”

“The cool comatose.”

‘The Great Gatsby’ (2013) Quote:
“Tell them Daisy changed her mind!”

‘The Daily Telegraph’ Quotes:
“Not sought help for and could not explain.”


“Extreme delay in the process.”

“Break in the line of paternity.”

“Make aspersions.”

“A regular in French courts over similar charges.”

“I can see them now, sitting up in bed waiting for the priest, with their hats on.”

“Awkward struggle.”

“She stepped back from our friendship in a way that I found devastating.”

“Always dominated the conversation.”

“I didn’t actually like her pompous husband.”

“Daft romantic adventures.”

“Unlearn skills and regress.”

“Shared interests diverge.”

“Acts of Naked Aggression.”

“Neck his actually quite special Malbec.”

“Supermarket vin de pays.”

“Felt as though she’d had a personality transplant.”

“Couldn’t feel joy, excitement, happiness.”

“I could care less.”

“Scream constantly, and vomited every feed.”

“You feel useless.”

“Everything would irritate me. I hated the world. If my husband didn’t fill up the milk bottle exactly to 90ml, I’d throw it at him.”

“Spoke to me to ensure I was safe.”

“On the slide worldwide.”


“So ineptly lit it made The Blair Witch Project look like a paragon of clarity.”

Book Reviews: Forces From Beyond + Triplets + Liner

Forces From Beyond by Simon R. Green
The final ‘Ghost Finders’ novel is indefensibly bad. The gang from the Carnacki Institute and the Crowely Project form a dalliance to put an end to The Flesh Undying and various prophesises of doom. Cue chaotic action and characters questing for meaningful personal revelations. This was bad pulp horror designed to communicate only exposition. Cue grasping ambition, personal wreckage and no emotional complications in this hapless finale.

Best Lines:
“Is he alright?”

“Best not to distract him while he’s thinking. About things.”

“I’m not scared of her.”
“Yes you are,”

“Where the hell did these people acquire something as spiritually toxic as that?”

“Made a point of glaring at her rebelliously just on general principles.”

“I could beat him up.”
“Pretty sure you couldn’t.”

“That whole area’s been quiet for years. Ever since we dealt with the Inverted Black Pyramid.”

“Powerful unlife entity.”

“It’s all your fault.”
“So many things are,”

Triplets by Joyce Reeta-Burditt
A dull 80s novel about siblings.

Liner by James Barlow
A horrifically sexist rip-off of ‘The Poseidon Adventure’ as the worst of humanity go down with a ship.