November 26th, 2015

Hawkeye

Trailers, Quotes and 2000 & 2006 Tape Tales

‘Captain America: Civil War’ trailer
This is dark as Steve, Bucky and a bomb play into the plot. The whole civil war is over Bucky? Steve is called a vigilante by General Ross who is in civilian dress. Ross wants supervision. Black Widow and Iron Man turn on Steve and want limitations. No Thor. Flacon and War Machine lurk. Where is Hawkeye? This looks okay.

Best Lines:
“I don’t do that anymore.”

“There will be consequences.”

“Punch you in your perfect teeth.”

“He’s my friend.”
“So was I.”

‘The Good Dinosaur’ TV spot
No.

‘11/22/63’ teaser trailer
Mmmmmm.

‘Blindspot’ 1x02 promo
Mmmm.

‘Deutschland 83’ promo
Maybe

‘Jessica Jones’ promo
Mmmm.

‘Rocky Balboa’ (2007) promo
Okay.

‘Rattle Me Bones’ ad
No.

‘Shallow Hal’ (2001) promo
No.

Fig rolls - okay.
Milk Chocolate with split pecans - ugh.
Watermelon - nice.
Peach & Passionfruit fruitpolis yogurt - good.
Quality Street My Orange Bar - nice.
Cherry cola - good.
Beaujolais-villages Nouveau - okay.

Hic Viglans Somniat - he dreams awake.

Dear houseguests: you drop nut crumbs on the clean floor, make the tablecloth filthy, call our dinner bland and whine about a door. SHUT THE HELL UP and LEAVE with a modicum of grace.

Who else recalls the She-Ra, Jem and Golden Girl dolls?

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Failed to die.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“The internet can be a toilet for idiots.”

“Obvious sadness.”

“Foul-mouthed fantasist.”

“Roars with appalled laughter.”

“Terribly exposing.”

“Presentation and dazzle.”

“Terribly oppressive.”

“Moral maze.”

“Profound philosophical belief.”

“Conscious cruelty.”

“There needs to be public rage about this.”

“Did not consistently act.”

“Attempting to murder her husband by spiking his Cherry Lambrini with anti-freeze on Christmas Day.”

“Noxious substance.”

“Overly reliant.”

“Deal robustly with any further disturbances.”

“Deeply disconcerting.”

“Spiralling inexorably.”

“Aspect of the change.”

“Effervescent spirit.”

“Less ambitious future.”

“Unmanageable.”

“Blanket accusations of incompetence and financial profligacy.”

“Jolie.”

“Erasing aesthetic certainties.”

“Ruinously undermined.”

“Intellos.”

“Lined up in opposition to the Eiffel Tower, denouncing it as an ugly and hateful column of bolted tin.”

“Unspoilt and tranquil.”

“Vaporetto.”

“Private intellectual playpen.”

“Verminous and crawling.”

“Transformative decade.”

“Very ill informed.”

“Labyrinthine Caravanserai.”

“Way nana.”

“Living on popcorn and self-belief.”

“Very impressive authority.”

“Very high expectations of herself.”

“Poetic pulse.”

“Most wonderful and most terrible.”

“What use is £30,000 to anybody?”

“Far less salubrious area.”

“Baleful strangeness.”

“Synaesthesia.”

“Remarkable instance.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“That could not be more blasphemous.”

‘Underworld: Awakening’ Quotes:
“She has no origin bite marks.”

“I’m not good with feelings.”

‘Revenge’ Quotes:
“It won’t be easy.”
“Is it ever?”

“You painted her as an enemy.”

~
I’m on a break from ‘Hollyoaks’ yet again until it stops being aggressively crap.

~
Cleared out tapes from 2000 and a 2006. The 2000 tape opened with a ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Choices’ that was a Christmas ep that leaves one endlessly unimpressed. Then came a ‘Jack of all Trades’ ep ‘One Wedding and an Execution’ in which Napoleon (it’s Mini me!) wishes to marry Amelia. Bruce Campbell wears drag and has to sword fight Mini me. This was dumb.

Then came a season 5 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Buffy vs. Dracula’ in which Dracula lurks, Dawn debuts and Giles has no purpose. Riley and his considerable baggage bores. Dracula is coated in white makeup and looks like he has TB. This was misguided and about as deep as an ep of ‘Naked In Westminster’.

Best Lines:
“Cow me.”

“You are strange and off-putting.”

Then came a season 2 ‘Angel’ ep ‘Judgement’ in which Angel and his gender-belonging bore. This was not okay and produces not excited expectations. Then came another ‘Cleopatra 2525’ ep ‘Perceptions’ in which Voice brought all this upon them. Running is not survival and things get a little unsanitary. This was incomprehensible and conspicuously underlit.

Finally there was another ‘Jack of all Trades’ ep ‘Croque for a Day’ in which a poverty tax is imposed. Jack pretends to be Croque in 1801. There are fights and bad jokes and this wasn’t riveting.

Best Lines:
“Keep sticking it to the man.”

“He’ll be replaced by someone who’s well, competent.”

On the 2006 tape there was a ‘Stargate SG1’ ep ‘The Pegasus Project’ in which Daniel and co go to Atlantis. They drop a stargate into a black hole. McKay annoys and this was of no considerable benefit to anyone. Then there was the dull 1979 ‘Dracula’ which was the washed out director’s cut that looks black and white and so very 70s.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Dracula + The Rookie + The Great Gatsby

Dracula (1979) The Director’s Cut
Frank Langella, Laurence Olivier, Donald Pleasence and Trevor Eve star in this rather dull adaptation of a play based on the book. Lucy is Dr Seward’s daughter and the vile Harker (Eve) is always sucking face with her. Mina Van Helsing and Lucy wear enormous puffy nightgowns and share the same bed for some reason. Harker casts moral judgements and spews meaningless words. Carfax Abbey is unkempt. The count (Langella and his dark intense eyes and bouffant hair) washes up in a storm and chews on Renfield. Harker has crinkle-nosed Puritanism at Dracula’s 70s hair. Harker is vile and stupid.

This was undeniably imprecise to the book. Mina dies of neck wounds so Van Helsing (Olivier) shows up. Dracula has laser show sex with Lucy in a slipshod scene. Van Helsing has the era’s hostility to foreigners but his ham acting sucks the spontaneity out of every scene he is in. Dracula makes walking into a room steamy stuff. Van Helsing waves garlic at Dracula whilst overacting. Lucy and Dracula run off so the burden falls to the moron brigade to kill the character with the pithiest quotes. The brutal assessment is that this is not good but was Dracula alive at the end so that is why Lucy was smirking?

Best Lines:
The church bells to warn the ships.”

“I dislike mirrors; they are the playthings of man’s vanity.”

“I feel rather cold.”

“Those who have crossed my path have all died and some not pleasantly!”

“How kind of you to call.”

“It is always daylight somewhere on earth.”

“In a century when you are dust, I shall wake.”

~
The Rookie (1990)
An okay Clint Eastwood and Charlie Sheen buddy movie with unpredictable emotional states and violence.

The Great Gatsby (2013)
A vigorous OTT attack on anything savouring of quality.
Scary Books

The Flash 2x07 + Blindspot (2015 - 2020) 1x01 + Arrow 4x07 Reviewed

Gorilla Warfare
Barry’s recovering, like duh. There is no psychological intensity to his injury. Will Joe and his vituperative, vicious and vile self-importance just go away? I feel total indifference for Joe and his bimbo daughter. Snow tells Harry to stay.  Cisco pervs over Kendra. Barry and everyone else lie to Patty. Why is Barry so adored and revered by everyone?

Only Snow cares about Jesse Quick. Harry is unfairly castigated. Cisco vibes off Kendra - he is annoying not heart-meltingly sincere. Grodd returns. Joe and Iris have total obliviousness to Barry’s despondence. They have a refusal to co-operate with sense. Cisco ‘jocularly’ annoys and Snow punches him the face. What became of fake Wells’ secret room?

Earth Two has intelligent gorillas too. Joe is abusive and deceitful. Expectations for this season were impossibly high. I’m tired of Harry attracting bile. Grodd has Fay Wray aka Snow. Grodd wants more like him. Henry shows up with his ridiculous tonal quirks and spouts platitudes. Will Barry stop being thick? Since when did fake Wells have a backup Reverse-Flash suit? WTF? No he didn’t! That’s ridiculous. This was okay but not sorchingly intense. Harry pretends to be the Reverse-Flash.

Henry’s inadequacy as a father isn’t addressed. Snow is passive. Harry never combs his hair. Where are Zoom and Dr Light and Jay? Barry has the Reverse-Flash ring? Wasn’t fake Wells wearing it when he ceased to be? Grodd ends up in Gorilla City on Earth Two. I’m sure we’ll see more of him. Joe whines to Iris that he wishes he had a son instead of her; he is so unashamedly awful and demeaning. Barry has no moral perspective. Cisco is very disingenuous with Kendra and her tombstone teeth.

Best Lines:
Your fabulous team.”

“I’m continually amazed by the similarity between our two worlds.”

“Caitlin always kind.”

“I don’t know how to do that.”
“Learn.”

“15,000 pound mind-controlling gorilla that he could manipulate.”

“Up the creep factor. Like, a lot more.”

“Father never ask. Father take.”

~
Pilot
A bag is left in Times Square. The bomb disposal guy freaks out when a naked woman covered in tattoos pops out. Why isn’t she suffering from exposure? Kurt Weller (Sullivan Stapleton of ‘Strike Back’) is the FBI agent linked to this case. The naked woman aka Jane Doe (Jamie Alexander of ‘Thor’) has been dosed with an amnesia drug. Where is the ALCU when she is being manhandled?

Jane’s tattoos are all new. Well 99% of them. They are a puzzle to something. Jane is vulnerable and badly served. Kurt tries to emote. One could succumb with surprising ease to this show. Jane has big sad eyes. The ornate tattoos mean something. Kurt strides down corridors. There is conflict and ambiguities. Jane has social insecurity due to her amnesia. Kurt has sidekicks and isn’t nervous or humble. Kurt has a severe absence of restraint.

There are hints about Jane Doe especially when she beats up some baddies who have snakelike menace. There is a bomb and a mysterious weirdbeard dude. Kurt saves people from a bomb by removing some C4. The Statue of Liberty is in peril. Jane has a black and white flashback to her past and her longer hair that had shining luminosity. Jane emotes in her big granny pants. The weirdbeard guy has an orange-tinged reveal.

This was good and very fast paced. There are no formidable intellects on display. Kurt’s boss Mayfair (Marianne Jean-Baptiste of ‘Without A Trace’) has a file that corresponds with one of Jane’s tattoos. This was sprawling and engrossing. But did the gunshot damage one of Jane’s tattoos? Did they test her for hepatitis? When will Kurt and Jane boff? What was the scar on Jane that Kurt was looking at? Was it all a set up?

Best Lines:
“Keep people out or me in?”

“This one tastes like grass trimmings.”

“Meth?”
“Not enough ventilation.”

“That’s not good.”

“The devil’s language.”

“You okay?”
“Not really.”

“It’s my only choice.”

~
Brotherhood
Ray annoys. Oliver has an insufferably smug and swaggering attitude. This was not impassioned and has no atmosphere of lament. Why are unaccountable vigilantes allowed to run around? Diggle’s helmet is ridiculous. Diggle is reunited with his brother who he gives up on. Diggle has flawed logic. Damien is on to Lance. Malcolm shows up and nobody turns him in to the cops for the mass murder he committed. This ep was ill-advised. Felicity does no listening, believing or supporting. I don’t care about Diggle’s internal conflict or Damien’s zombie army. Oliver is entirely insulated from sense.

Best Lines:
“Never be too much compliance.”

“According to what? A bunch of twigs?”

“Inexplicable way of excusing anything.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: We Will All Go Down Together

We Will All Go Down Together by Gemma Files
This is a sprawling horror tale of the bastard children of a thousand evil angels whose bloodlines intersect for centuries until a final reckoning at a hidden place in the wilds of Canada. This was very good.

Best Lines:
“You are not welcome here, or anywhere else.”

“He’d sworn himself away to a power he frankly wasn’t certain actually existed, in order to escape powers he knew damn well did.”

“Imprinted on humanity like an adopted swan, yet kin to things so absolutely, immutably other.”

“Hell-hob.”

“Foul and dreadful.”

“A straight-up Steve McQueen move,”

“Kept carefully unmentionable.”

“They just leave them there, alone in the dark, forever.”

“Glamer.”

“Ingratitudinous thing.”

“Want-in origin story.”