September 1st, 2015


Trailers, Quotes and a 2007 Tape Tale

‘Danny and the Human Zoo’ promo

‘Garage’ (2007) trailer

RIP Wes Craven.

I love the smell of Opium perfume.

Chocolate & Raspberry mousse - okay.
46% cacao milk chocolate - nice.
Mint choc - yum.

The 1986 films ‘Deadly Friend’, ‘Nomads’ and ‘Project A-Ko’ were okay.

‘Father Ted’ Quote:

‘Transylvania Twist’ Quote:
“Didn’t take that very well did he?”

Sky News’ Quotes:
“Behaving bizarrely next to a tree.”

“Try hard not to judge.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Once spent a night in a Memphis jail after starting a brawl in a restaurant and kicking the back window out of a police car.”

“The guy in the registry office took one look at us and suggested we come back another time,”

“Them representing part of the establishment that I was rejecting.”

“I just spend my alimony money.”

“Preoccupied with his new status as public enemy number one.”

“A flea cloud of students.”

“Struggled to hide his distain for the vacuous questions.”

“Angry wallpaper.”

“Shows no great potential for continued fame.”

“A second-best option.”

“Triumphalist advertising.”


“Debenhams’s cheap.”

“As compliments go, it is not unqualified.”

“I’ve had to prove myself to stay in the room.”

“Eye dandruff.”


“Ultimately regrettable.”


“A very uncomfortable talk.”

“He is a thoroughly decent fellow and you can trust him. If you are ever deceived in this later, it is like a hot dagger.”

“Even the silence seems menacing.”

“Feel thick for not getting it.”




“Fade factor.”

“Your own deliquescence.”


“The tyranny of the readily offended.”


“Social media-facilitated ability to disseminate insanity.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Go and hide in the woods.”

“Scream and yell at your wife.”

“Hide in the bushes.”

“Go sleep in a rest stop.”

“She is causing a disturbance.”

“Your parental conduct.”

“That’s what worries me.

“It’s been horrible.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Brad whines and hurls himself at Lauren. As for Lauren she won’t stop fawning over Brad. They prompt distain and contempt. Brad and his depravity bores. Daniel and Imogen make out. Amber sees Brad and Lauren flirting again. Terese is sick of Brad. Josh blames Terese for Brad’s adultery. Wonder how he’ll react when Brad chooses Lauren. Brad and Lauren are selfish and have destroyed two families. Horrible Paige caused all this. Brad and Lauren are vile.

Best Lines:
“Did you ever love dad?”

“Do you love Lauren now?”

“Stuff you.”

“You did it out of spite.”

“Enough stop!”

“Treat him better please.”

“He’s gonna go elsewhere.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Cameron is publicly vilified, disgraced and arrested. Ste stomps off. Tegan is vile. Ziggy leaves Leela for Tegan. Peri gives birth to a huge baby and wants nothing to do with Leela, Cameron or Tom. Ziggy needs to shut up. In fact he, Tegan, Ste and Tom all need to die. Sinead finds out Ste has another bit on the side besides her.

Cleared out a 2007 DVD-R. It had four season 1 ‘Heroes’ eps on it. First up was ‘Hiros’ in which Peter made gormless faces and Hiro babbles. This bored. Hiro’s dead galpal played Will’s OCD galpal on ‘Glee’. Then came ‘Homecoming’ in which the cheerleader was saved but the world wasn’t. Peter and his forgotten galpal bored. Claire’s crazy abusive creeper dad did crazy abusive creeper stuff. There was blood and death. This also bored.

Then came ‘Fallout’ in which Nikki is obviously crazy. Sylar (Zachary Quinto) shows up in the flesh. Eden dies. Claire loses her friend due to her crazy abusive creeper dad.

Best Line:
“Are you on crystal meth or something?”

Finally there was ‘The Fix’ in which Nikki and Sylar are locked up. Christopher Eccleston is wasted.
Scary Books

The Last Ship 2x09 + Zoo 1x03 + Covert Affairs 4x12-4x16 + The Americans 3x10 Reviewed

Uneasy Lies The Head
Dr Scott asks the nasty carrier to help her develop the new form of the vaccine. Dr Scott is orange and needs mussels. The POTUS is wont to sneer. The carrier is far beyond reasonable debate and valid criticism and has false murderous jollity. Chandler runs into more immunes and stupid teenagers. Dr Scott deals with the carrier’s beady mumblings once and for all. Chandler deals with greasy violent thugs who are throughly tiresome. I was deeply unimpressed by this; it created not one genuine honest reaction. This just had gunfights and lacked intellectual stimulus. Why is season 2 so awful and uncoupling? The IDF solider looks like Angelina Jolie. Immunes use smart phones. Is the POTUS on the level?

Best Lines:
“It was elegant.”

“Won’t dare go.”

“A country that’s barely recognisable.”

“Dead we assume.”

“No one ever came for us.”

“DNA scissors.”

“Please put up a fight.”

“You were able to kill five billion people.”

“Flush it out? How?”

“Undo what you did.”

“There’s just so much of it.”

“I’ve already done it.”

“It died with you.”

The Silence Of The Cicadas
Hungry like the wolves! There is panic and disorder and the guttural growler wants to discover and forewarn. Jamie does unsubstantiated, one-dimensional and simplistic ranting. Jackson meets his stepmother (Tamlyn Tomita of ‘The Burning Zone’). Bats attack a plane. Animals continue to get extremely violent and aggressive. A death row inmate postures in a prison. Chloe wears excessive eye makeup. This episode created pained disappointment. Animals engage in needs based activities. Jamie does weird bits of conjectures and acts in small and unpleasant ways while casting spurious aspersions. Jackson’s stepmother seems to die. This was not stately, elegiac or moving. Injustice collector Jamie bores. There is bad acting and wolves attack the prison. The nice suit dude travels a lot and assembles a team. Mitch sneers.

Best Lines:
“Massacred by dogs?”

“Love is difficult.”

“A notorious crackpot.”

“The creeping things.”

“It’s up to yellow.”

“Disturbing behaviour we witnessed.”

“Definitely disturbing.”

“Separates the proud from the pathetic.”

“My knife is fast.”

“That can’t be good.”

“Made empathy impossible.”

Something Against You
Annie has snidness and plans deep penetration into target territory. Auggie’s former fancy bit Helen and her latest hairdo shows up. Auggie claims she wants to revisit them. Auggie won’t stop shredding reputations. Annie plays at plaintive and wears bronzer and goes to extremity. This was not a visceral experience, it just caused dissatisfaction. Auggie has been demoted. There is more constraining and coercing. Sana stands around. Henry has another lackey (Jonathan Togo of ‘CSI: Miami’). Turmoil ensues. This was unspeakably bad.

Best Lines:
“He’s better at this then you.”

“Explain that.”

“I have many vices.”

“It’s a threat.”

“It’s much too late for that.”

“Is that a threat?”

No. 13 Baby
Annie’s back in the USA. Auggie has no bemused embarrassment for his crap. Annie’s determined to settle a string of petty scores. Auggie is genuinely nasty. Henry has some JFK level conspiracy going on. No true words are spoken and Annie is just out to stir it. There are still no opening credits. Nobody is rational. Helen wants not to be dead. Joan condescends. Annie has aggressive body language. This ep was unmitigated boredom. What was this season’s purpose? People’s capacity for insight is very low. This show is full of rotten, violent and vengeful people going on about duplicity, morality and power. The overfed Arthur sulks. Auggie and Helen hook up. Joan is brutal.

Best Lines:
“Who’s in there?”
“Not you. And if she’s ever exhumed, we’ll both be in trouble.”

River Euphrates
Helen is dead so as to ensure there is no love triangle. The FBI agent resurfaces. There is no emotional involvement. Joan lies. The CIA counterfeits money apparently. Auggie is a cavalcade of awful. This flaccid ep was not satisfactory. Nobody has the moral right and this wasn’t emotionally demanding. It was disastrous in fact. Annie is menaced. Things get grotty, sordid and distasteful. Dim witted Annie and Joan meet. Auggie messes things up again. Devious games and manipulation happen, allegedly.

Best Lines:
“What does that even mean; nail him?”

“The full contours of the situation.”

“I’m trying to protect you from that answer.”

There Goes My Gun
Annie, Calder and Annie are in China for more repellent, manipulative games. They’re all terrible people. This was appalling. Auggie is stupid and obstreperous. Bianca the lawyer is suspected. This ep ends joy. Annie tries to be cold and menacing. I disliked this intensely. Hardfaced Annie has mockery and distain. This was ghastly, frightful, dull, soulless and inadequate. Bianca is foul. Arthur has self pity. This season was intolerable. Auggie is detestable and has no acceptable expectations. There is death and disreputable behaviour. Arthur fights a hitman whilst being orange. Joan shoots a man in slow motion.

Best Lines:
“They’ll never let her go.”

“Henry will be ready for war.”

“You need to listen to reason.”

Trompe Le Monde
Henry’s plotting makes no sense. What about Sana and her boyfriend? There is a gunfight. Auggie is putting it about as TPTB artificially accentuate his importance. Everyone loves Annie’s whiff-waff. This has no nuances and contours and reeks of effort. There is death. This was unfocused. Why was Oliver taken to America? Everyone is hostile. Auggie taints every scene. Joan has her baby. Annie wins - oh boo you whore.

Best Lines:
“Every word out of your mouth is a lie.”

“You’re a man without a country.”

“Don’t talk!”

“One of the biggest traitors in our Agency’s history.”

Henry and Stan are so lonely and ignored - they’re looking to each other for company. Philip looks angry and Elizabeth hangs out at a hotel. The defector is indeed a fake. Paige bores and then asks questions. Elizabeth and Philip tell Paige the truth. Clandestinely sneaking around is at an end. Paige is not assured. This is a pivotal moment that contains nothing. Even Elizabeth speaking Russian to Paige means nothing. Is Stan suspicious of Martha? What was Paige watching on TV? Stan was suspicious of Philip and Elizabeth in 1x01 but not anymore sadly.

Best Lines:
“This isn’t normal.”

“Are you guys drug dealers?”

“We work for our country.”

“We serve our country.”

“They should scare you.”

Book Reviews: Kitty Saves The World + Spell Fantastic + Dogboy

Kitty Saves The World by Carrie Vaughn
The final book in the ‘Kitty Norville’ saga sees Kitty and co face off with Roman in a final confrontation. The big reveal of Roman’s boss jars slightly as does the reveal of the true origin the vampire/werewolf kind. But Kitty faces down the unshakably calm Roman and the saga comes to a gloriously indulgent end. This was a highly enjoyable wrap up tale of moral courage and baddies terminally unable to stop.

Best Lines:
“Vampire mace.”

“I’ll not repent! I will not repent!”

“And we owe him nothing for that, thank God.”

“Rick and the vampire ninjas!”

“He was a fossil walking the Earth.”

Spell Fantastic edited by Martin H. Greenberg & Larry Segriff
A dull DAW anthology about magic.

Dogboy by Gillian White
Like ‘Copycat’, ‘Nasty Habits’, ‘Sleeper’ and ‘Grandfather’s Footsteps’ this is a misfire. Vile chav Fergus stalks his former social worker alongside a killer dog. This was terrible and populated by jerks.

Best Lines:
“They can shout as loudly as they like but they will never be heard.”

“I were just havin’ a pee, that’s all...”
“Through our letterbox! Well naturally, where else would you choose to relieve yourself while passing through a village on a midsummer night?”

“Your highly unpleasant breath.”

“I’ll bash you...”

“She feels like a prefect who’s been caught with her knickers down and a cucumber in her hand.”

“Your cry for sympathy disgusts me.”

“I can pity it. But it still repels me.”

“You were born evil and I never cared about you.”