August 25th, 2015


Trailer, Quotes and a 2002 Tape Tale

American Ultra’ TV spot
Seriously - WTF is this?

Recall ‘Fear Factor’? Me neither.

I am reading ‘Sword & Blood’.

Salt n’ chilli choc - nice.
Made more custard - why is it lumpy?

‘Sword & Blood’ Quote:
“Never to go into dark alleys willingly?”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Twitchfork era.”

“Increasingly worried about causing offence.”

“Impostor syndrome.”

“Seen in a pub attacking the gang with a pair of claw hammers.”

“Adored the process of violence.”

“Cigarette punch.”

“Gin-fuelled beating.”

“Macho folklore.”

“In typical Kray style, their wedding photos were taken by David Bailey.”

“Absurd jailhouse marriages.”

“Ostentatious, old-school funerals complete with hard-nut mourners and mountains of wreaths.”

“That ginger one.”

“Do not dye her hair red, and thereby presage for her the fires of hell.”

“A social disaster.”

“Proper girls wore cerise puffball skirts and blonde hair in a scrunchie.”

“Lazy, disobedient and uncouth.”


“Bound to go to the devil.”

“Uncomfortable poignancy.”

“Nice foreigners.”

“Tweets menu updates.”

“Consider Vice magazine alternative.”

“The plus side of gentrification is it brings cupcakes, cocktails and urban-fusion gastronomy.”

“Feeding wild raccoons and watching cats defecate behind paintings in the halls of their decaying mansion.”

“A set of unspoken rules.”

“Obvious drunk who lurks in one room in his underpants.”

“Could not be further down the social scale.”

“Boozing, paranoia and disappointment.”

“Brilliantly loathsome.”

“Mutual dependency and detestation.”

“Lurid glamour.”

“Feuding and murderous dynasts.”

“Exotic extremes of perversion.”

“A mere 54 years after the death of Augustus, not a single one of his descendants remained alive.”

“Leave ugly shadows alone where they lurk in their abyss of shame.”

“Semi-professional mistresses.”

“Stephen’s chief function is to fall through hatches or off the back of the ship.”

“Rough gusto.”

“Over-estimate their influence.”

“Sweetness and poise.”

“Everyone got drunk and someone fell in the pond.”

“Complicated emotions.”

“Effortless, raw, defiant.”

“Peplums were a disaster.”

“Our creeping resistance to stillness.”

“Enforced pause.”


“Most of their meat smells like the Antichrist.”

‘Unstrung Heroes’ Quote:
“Non-injury accident.”

‘Glee’ Quote:
“Shooters have smart phones too.”

‘The Goldbergs’ Quotes:
“Stand up to your guilt.”

“I feel anger!”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Your cheap-ass dad.”

“They’re one dollar a packet.”

“I’m coming hard.”

“But not Madonna because I’m realistic.”

“Creepy disc jockeys.”

“Daddy believes in you and your plan.”

“She will throw something at you.”

“His hot lady friend.”

“Literally couldn’t be more offended.”

“A blonde monster.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“A vengeful, abusive, manipulating, vindictive piece of work.”

“You wanted to go out and party.”

“Interaction pattern.”

“Angst and hostility.”

“People running her off the road.”

“Said it was inappropriate.”

“That was on Facebook.”

You’re grossly negligent.”

“Supervisory responsibility.”

“Like wilful.”

“You are so very wrong.”

“A very terrible mom.”

“Forgiveness is a hard word.”

“That’s good dictation.”

“Not at all happy.”

“Your community is dealing with you harshly.”

“Her issue is with god.”

“Very ugly things said.”

‘The Towering Inferno’ Quotes:
“That’s 135 floors.”
“All down hill.”

“It’s closer than they told us.”

“The stairway below’s completely gone.”

Cleared out a 2002 tape. It began with a season 3 ‘The Pretender’ ep ‘Once In A Blue Moon’ in which Jarod pretends to be a profiler. His hair is full of gel. ‘Silence Of The Lambs’ is ripped off. This ep is wearingly typical and the tracking was way off. Jarod is pensive and this was no.

Then came an ‘I-Man’ ep ‘Den Of Thieves’ in which Darien ends up back in jail. Alex annoys and takes up space. This was dull and the tracking was totally off.

Then came a season 1 ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Shimmer’ in which an invisible presence menaces. Whitney has 90s hair. Clark is an ass. Victoria hangs around being untalented. TPTB layer on the simmering homoerotic subtext. Lionel annoys. This was dull with bad tracking.

Best Lines:
“Relationships aren’t always about love Clark.”

“Could this be a plot to get my attention? Well done. It worked.”

“Why do you want to keep her around?”

Finally there was another season 3 ‘The Pretender’ ep ‘Homefront’ in which Jarod pretends to be an arms dealer and Mr Lyle (Jamie Denton) lurks. This has scare tactics, negative reinforcement, shaming and dignity is taken. As usual reality is obliterated and this ep sucks at life and is wildly off.

On Hollyoaks’: Dylan dresses up for court. Kim and Esther steal Curtis. Celine makes a show of herself. Jack thinks Esther stealing Curtis is funny. Dylan is hauled off to jail. Trevor and Grace get angry and grab Curtis back. Kim and Esther are then t-boned by a truck.

Best Line:
“Or I’ll burn the pub down!”

The Blacklist #2 Reviewed

There is incoherent action, contentious encounters, irresponsible discourse, towering snits and Red’s customary lack of modesty. A big bad named The Gambler does deep and devious things. Liz is sneered at. Red is a self obsessed megalomaniac. While not as good as issue 1 - this is an okay tale of angry, bitter, unhappy adults.

Best Line:
“A lesser man would’ve just threatened my family.”
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Scary Books

The Last Ship 2x08 + Zoo 1x02 + The Americans 3x09 Reviewed

Safe Zone
Chandler and co have to convince the POTUS to abandon the immune’s cause. The XO does po-faced admonitions. The cure looks like dishwasher rinse aid. The POTUS is a vicarious liability and is so because he lost his family. What is the Underground? Why are they broadcasting against the USS Nathan James? Sean and his unpardonable offences goes on. With remorseless inevitability the truth comes out. This was okay and Chandler and co finally acknowledge the immunes aren’t some obscure cult that communicates in lost runic alphabets. The POTUS gets a recreated oval office.

Best Lines:
“Who you believe is one of them.”

“Relic from another time.”

“Somehow graduated from obligations.”

“We came home.”

“Convince me.”

“That rabid look in their eyes.”

“A deep logic to it.”

“The most unbearable thing of all.”

“He’s a solider. He wants someone to salute to.”

“The worst of intentions.”

Fight Or Flight
Cecil’s revenge goes on this okay ep. A clowder of cats plot. Cats run and jump and sit and the footage of them seems speeded up. Jackson in Botswana thinks and finally realises his friend Abraham isn‘t dead. The vet pathologist in LA smugs. The reporter Jamie is evicted. The shrike harridan Chloe returns to Paris. It is implied that a lion used a smartphone. An annoying couple adopt a child in Eastern Europe and go to a circus. Abraham is rescued. Jamie rants about the chemical 2-4D and goes on about a conspiracy and chemtrails. She also says that Reiden Global murdered her home town. Jackson’s mom is played by Bess Armstrong of ‘Lace’. Chloe is French Secret Service. Her sister stole her fiancée. The adopted kid obsesses over his toy tiger. Jackson ponders going to Japan. There is muttering about hyper gamma frequencies and killer dogs may have eaten someone. Chloe gets recruited.

Best Lines:
“Cat’s aren’t all that social.”

“Maybe even a little creepy.”

“Who are us.”

“This is not an overstatement.”

“Dry season wandering.”

“People want to see the lions!”

“He no bite.”

“I’d rather sleep in the street.”

“Unlodge his foot.”

“I was so hoping there would be.”

“Waited and watched.”

Do Metal Robots Dream Of Electric Sheep?
Elizabeth kicks Hans to the curb leading to something unexpected and things getting evermore determinedly violent. More anxiety inducing things happen. An old biddy babbles to Elizabeth before being killed circumspectly. This was dull and more is none much desired.

Best Lines:
“It never felt like that.”

“This is what you do?”

“If we get caught. Very.”

“The person they brought into investigate isn’t me.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Whispers From The Abyss part 2 + Dark Ascenion

Whispers From The Abyss edited by Kat Rocha, part 2

The Substance In The Sound
Fishermen find something weird. There is no low key menace just acts of blank faced violence.

Stone City, Old As Immeasurable Time
A woman plans to enter a temple to a rapacious menace. Not uneasy just indifferent.

Best Line:
Something that should remain alone.”

Hideous Interview With Brief Man
Stringently dull.

The Sea, Like Glass Unbroken
A rejected bride gives into incredible grief. This was in disrepair.

The Decorative Water Feature Of Nameless Dread
A garden show on Radio 4 gets an unexpected call. This was excellent and very funny.

Best Lines:
“Hideous thing. Looks just like Andrew Lloyd Webber.”

“I tried luring it away to the canal behind our house with some fish fingers but it just kept spitting them back out again.”
“Has it made any kind of sound?”
“What, apart from the spitting?”

“Does the Daily Mail know about this?”

An outcast little boy plots. Very good.

My Stalk
No low voltage menace just inert foolery as a laughably po-faced nutter rambles.

Give Me That Old Time Religion
Rednecks meet the old ones. Okay.

Afraid Of Dobermans
A short tale with a twist. Okay.

Best Line:
“Mary hated when he chuckled to himself in the night.”

The Jar Of Aten-Hor
A creepy tale of a canopic jar. Excellent.

The Floor
Two house flippers find something not uncommon in their latest project. Excellent.

Best Line:
“We couldn’t risk whatever had been inside the circle still being in the house.”

I’m not sure what this was about.

Other People’s Houses
A man likes to pry, to spy and to sneak. He really shouldn’t have. Good.

You Will Never Be The Same
Ships travel through space. But what is in the space? Okay.

Death Wore Greasepaint
Two losers work at a local cable station. Till the day a live kid’s show goes horribly awry. This was excellent and fairly callous.

Best Lines:
“Everything looked like that Iron Maiden album.”

“Muh kids, they started biting me!”

Dark Ascension by M.L. Brennan
The 4th entry in the ‘Generation V’ series is a misfire. There is entirely too much time given over to Fort and his wretched awful gal pal Suze. Meanwhile big changes take place in the Scott clan and yet it all comes across as set up for future books. Fort undergoes a change and it is a non event. There is not one mention of Matt; where did he go? This was shockingly bad.

Best Lines:
“A slight veneer of vomit.”

“Now he’s got a wife with a drinking problem and four kids under the age of five. Talking with him is like dipping a toe in the Swamps of Sadness.”

“The first time I’d seen a Hannibal Lector movie, I didn’t realise at first that it was mean to be frightening and bizarre.”
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