Jim bothers a mime and wears a dung coloured cardi. A nuke is stolen by a woman who may be a take on The Lady. A religious leader known as The Holy One is worshipped. Jim watches his nice curved TV. Max wears an ugly suit. The gang set up a fake American Clinic. An evil General (Cary-Hiroyui Tagawa) plots. Grant creates the 80s version of a stupid statement dance mix.
This had no genuine despair but had horrid 80s suits and was stupidly entertaining. Nicholas fakes being a newsreader and everybody seems to speak English. Inexplicably the ruthless religious zealot terrorist has mis-emotions. This had no emotional content or moral constraints and was painfully earnest and lifeless dunkytosh.
“You put it there?”
More camp from the greed age. There is stock footage and war games may become real. An astrology obsessed nutter is nuts. Shannon pretends to be an indignant astrologer. Nicholas has massive shoulder pads and pretends to be an UN observer. Lunacy is unearthed but is not emotionally disturbing or surprisingly touching. Max is menaced. Everyone speaks English.
There is a 1980s flash drive. Bad guys shout all their lines. Shannon wears a flamingo shaped brooch and the IMF do witless humiliation of their confrontational target. Shannon wears poo coloured blusher and eye shadow. Nicholas looks sexually aroused by danger. This was okay. Max does a ‘Cape Fear’ move, there are ridiculous computer graphics and this is the 1st (and only?) episode in which a diminutive of Nicholas’ name is used.
“His evil ambitions.”
“Jumped up peasants.”
“The decadent aristocracy.”
“Carefully. Very carefully.”
“The map is malfunctioning!”
“Ignore the map!”
Eurospace a private space agency is located in the Australian bush. The ship, Frontier One, looks exactly like the space shuttle. There are mentions of a new space lab and space laser. Footage from ‘Space Camp’ is used. Shannon fakes being a pilot. It is never addressed why the IMF are prepared to die for their country. An evil dude steals Frontier One. People react remarkably calmly to the terrorist takeover. There is bad sfx and no security. This was ridiculous camp and the baddie’s plan is ridiculous. Shannon has to do a space walk and land Frontier One. This was not significant. Shannon is the 1st and only IMF member in space - suck on that Tom Cruise. This was okay.
“A new dimension in terror.”
“Half of Europe’s out.”
“Who by damn did it?”
“How the hell did you get there?”
The Fuhrer’s Children
Neo-Nazis plot. The IMF is disapproving. Things get dark. Nicholas wears an orange tie. The gang are in Germany. There is a mention of Noriega. Jim pretends to be South African and doesn’t even bother with the accent. Grant gets busted. Nicholas and Shannon find the neo-Nazis secret weapon - a gaggle of brainwashed Hitler youth children. They are suitably appalled. It’s like the 'Tomorrow Belongs To Me’ scene in ‘Cabaret’.
Nicholas wears a three piece suit. Max is called a true Aryan. The Hitler youth are sent to hunt Grant. But the IMF teaches the kids about MLK. Sap flies as years of brainwashing are shrugged off. Does anyone recall that Nicholas is a drama teacher? The lunatic gets got, nobody in Germany notices or cares about the packs of neo-Nazis running around and there is grot. The Berlin wall had fallen by this point but that isn’t mentioned.
“The Fuhrer, sir, our god and master.”
“He had a dream.”
In a horribly inaccurate Ireland there is tweed, flat caps, horse drawn carts, sheep, bad accents, people saying top of the morning to you and cars from the 50s. A van full of pensioners is blown up by an arms dealer to monetise the conflict so the IMF shows up to create a social democratic utopia. There is an emotive tin whistle soundtrack and Nicholas doesn’t do much. This has heightened polarised primary colours, Shannon singing pub songs and a delightfully camp plan to fake a banshee to make the bad guys unravel.
There is an actual line painted down the middle of the pub to keep the sides apart. This ep was funny but I don’t think it was meant to be. This was written by someone who probably has never even spoken to an Irish person. Jim wears a flat cap and organises a fistfight. Nicholas won’t button his shirt. Nobody comments that the banshee looks like the new pub singer in a bad wig and bed sheet.
Everyone is superstitious, the fiery hellpit the old people died in is left by the side of the road because police don’t seem to exist in this version of Ireland also at night there are crickets. Of all the various iterations of the IMF, this is my fav. The IMF force peace on venomous enemies. The baddies play it grimly earnest and lack normal responses. One isn’t emotionally buoyed by the sometimes crass and stupid plot but it is entertaining. Nicholas is ever convivial. Jim urges talking. The stunningly unpleasant and uncannily stupid baddies and their puffed up egos get got via outdated technology. Shannon, Grant and Jim pretend to be portents of doom and sadness. The baddies find this to be exacting to the point of madness. This was goodish, I prefer this show to the 60s version.
“They’ll not be laughing.”
“Yes I noticed that - several times.”
“You’re not going to need that pitchfork.”
“We can go over there tonight and blow them both away.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea. They might use those machine guns on us.”
“One more foul deed.”
“Keep to your side of the line!”
“Shut your face!”
“It’s the old people! Singing!”
“Jim, it’s time to ride.”
Watery Peter does uninteresting stuff. Odelle is the victim of more claggy plotting. I don’t care about the mysteries, enigmas or concentrated uncertainties. Manbot Harrison and his utterly forgettable plot are pedantic. Bob and his chewy diction bores - it is still perplexing how he went from potentially interesting in 1x01 to zero. The plot scrabbles, fetid people exercise malign influence and this was devoid of merit. Peter’s annoying wife needs to go. Peter’s actively hostile brat daughter is odious. If he killed them both with a hammer he’d go up in my estimation. Odelle’s husband gets a clue. The moral of this show is that stupid useless whining women ruin things for good men. Manbot Harrison treats his friends with crap. The ‘celebrity’ is beat up, Odelle doesn’t care. The drug dealer/drug hoover is clearly unstable and this show is not ingenious just piffle.
“I’m not afraid. I’m a celebrity.”
“Now. Right now.”
“I’m not sure I believe you.”
“This is not good.”
“Have a nice life.”
“It didn’t exactly go as planned.”
This is getting pathetic.”
There is more violence by Eric and Pam. TPTB are toughly predictable. Bill the creator’s pet murders a lawyer (Kathleen York of ‘Vengeance Unlimited’) and some other guy and gets away with it as he’s Bill. Nobody cares about Jessica and her uncertainties and discomfort. James and his sexy squirrel eyes does stuff. People swear like truckers. Sarah makes a reveal. Eric pretends to care about his ‘sister’. Nobody asks if Arlene and Holly are now Hep-V positive too.
Eric has no genuine personal grievances - plenty of people deserve to be revenged on him for all his crap. Amber lisps around her fangs. Jason’s stupidity is a bit tired. Holly is a moron. TPTB have no discernable skills. There are more visions of Tara. I hate Bill.
What is Hep-V? Has that ever been addressed? This ep was all unlovely energies. Attention parasite Sookie gets Hep-V, I’m amazed she hasn’t got an STD. She and Jason brood outside the wonderfully named GrabitKwik store. Bill has issues over his will and Sarah makes a big reveal.
“They sell anti-glamour contacts at the Walgreens now.”
“Cry me a river.”
“Don’t you think the machete is overkill?”
“You’re the mayor of crazy.”
“She was taking you straight to hell woman!”
“You’re technically dead.”
“They’re seizing assets.”
Fight The Ship
No emotional fallout just ill-advised dramatic focus on guns and people without moral grandeur who don’t strive to be liked. Sense is eschewed. Events are jollied along. The XO gurns and kills someone with an axe because you just know Adam Baldwin insisted on that scene. The retrevability of the quality of season 1 is in doubt. People blithely kill each other over bogus philosophies. There is no invention or incisiveness.
A horrible brat informs. There are more gunfights, more people get shot, no one runs out of ammo, there are explosions and Adam Baldwin gurning wildly. There are fistfights, Chandler’s family annoy and there is a musical montage. The rebel and Granderson both die. Now what? The Red Flu is still out there, the USS Nathan James has been liberated and this was assiduously terrible.
“Your killing zone at Olympia.”
“A trial or a funeral.”
“To be murdered and sent to the ovens!”
“Surrender with honour.”
“It’s dark enough.”
“Flush em up, out and back aft.”
“Time to fight!”
“Full of sickies.”
“We didn’t have to be enemies.”
“Yeah we did.”
“So this is home.”