June 9th, 2015

Scary Books

Book Review: Mindwalker

Mindwalker by A.J. Steiger
This dystopian tale starts out well but descends into cumbersome prose. In a future America, society is divided into types: those who are mentally well and the no-copers who have challenging behaviour. Our heroine the slightly prim Lain has an unrealistic and entitled view of her society. She is asked for help by the vilified and monstered despairing ground down Steven. In the process of helping the treated with contempt Steven, she is totally disillusioned about the ‘idyll’ she inhabits and once tacitly accepted.

The ostracised and unwell are no such thing, the banal psychobabble is a persuasive lie but as Lain’s life unfolds and buckles the writing becomes bafflingly bad. The ‘twists’ and self important unmeanacing ruthless opportunistic baddie hit bum notes. This initially had promise as a tale of urban collapse but is lacking social resonance and is a reversion to the obvious and infantile. Lain’s lamenting and self-sacrificing is just incoherent and her ramblings are piteous and tedious.

Best Lines:
“I’m starting to wonder if my body emits some pheromone that attracts emotionally damaged males.”

“The inside of my head is not a fun place to be.”

“I’ve seen things that I dare not speak of.”

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell 1x04 + Gotham 1x19 Reviewed

All The Mirrors Of The World
Fusspot Norrell harasses, harangues and silences Emma. Norrell’s feckless and dastardly servant isn’t dead. Norrell is annoyingly idiotic, narcisstic, unlikeable, devious and morally ambiguous all for selfish motives. Emma is intimidated and demeaned. Norrell is viscerally offensive as he rants about being constantly betrayed. He ignores the painful consequences and continues his dictatorship of the mediocrities.

The plot is fearsomely slow going. The sulky faced Norrell fosters resentment and ill will and is callously dismissive of Emma. Strange pulls his special serious supercilious face. The acting is schlocky. The magicians are asked to cure George III. Norrell has cold detachment and ghastliness. This episode was screechingly unappealing and parked in the holding tank of mediocrity.

The platitudinous Norrell doesn’t want Strange looking into the Raven King. Is the Gentleman a servant of his? Norrell has jarring hostility to old magic. Mrs Strange is relentlessly chirping. Everyone inevitably lets Emma down. She’s damaged and suffering identity loss. There is a laboured plot twist and more bad starts, desperate measures and questionable choices. Marc Warren prances and utters self help style philosophising - he’s not very scary. Norrell cry-bullies and is confrontational about his tangled and laborious motives. The plot moves in increasingly ludicrous travails.

Nothing induces shame in Norrell. Emma is handed over to unexpected keepers. She is timid and cold. Marc Warren prances doing self important menace. Emma and her sad, bewildered eyes is emotionally isolated. The ghastly, pompous and corrupt Norrell is irremeably contrived and shifty. Strange ignores his own unease. This ep is strange and formless. The annoying posho Drawlight does fake magic cons and is caught. Strange finds out what is behind the mirror. There are malevolent bumps in the night.

Mrs Strange is tense and difficult. Why in dramas is drama created by having wives being ununderstanding nagging harpies? Spoilt Mr Norrell wants to dictate what magic is and he is strident and caustic. All the characters are frightful people and I feel great disgust for them all but especially Norrell and his pretentious stream of bile and ugly wig. Strange turns his back on the flaccid shockingly hopeless Norrell because of moral objections. An irrevocable move. Napoleon escapes and Strange goes back to war. Mrs Strange has irritated impatience just because. The Gentleman plots and this was trying and terrible. I’m going to skip 1x05 and watch ‘Humans’ instead.

Best Lines:
The king’s children are all fat and stupid. Who would wish to be governed by such frights?”

“He is our enemy. We must destroy him utterly.”

“Odd things will happen.”

“Have you been madhouse keepers for long?”

“I am sold once more.”

“It is most inconvenient to him that I did not die in the peninsula.”

“So very disobliging.”

“Things are as they are.”

“Where on earth have you been?”

“They’ve been closed for hundreds of years but now, they are open again.”

“Take yourself off to your master.”

“Absurd, constipated and dull.”

“For 1000 years it has been waiting.”

“Tears of the lady, shed in pain.”

Beasts Of Prey
Fish plots her escape. Bruce and Gordon have an ‘avuncular’ chat. Gordon is told about a cold case by a not so convivial colleague. Alfred’s home and bleeding. Gordon rages. I felt exasperation for this episode. It had too much procrastinating, Bruce is brash, fretting and whinging and a serial killer (Milo Ventimiglia of ‘Heroes’, ‘The Divide’ and ‘Gilmore Girls’) kills naifs. This was not laudable. Bruce isn’t as hardened as he thinks he is. Penguin does derogatory things. The killer is immensely frustrated and kills women who don’t do as he wants. This was so insultingly bad. Fish impulsively lies. Cat-teen shows up to sully the ep some more. Bruce doesn’t know what a shooting gallery is. The serial killer nicknamed the Ogre terrorises women and is caustic and vampiric. Penguin plots. Fish can fly a helicopter. The GCPD aren’t community guardians. Reggie (David O’Hara) is a junkie and not so menacing in this appearance. Cat-teen does something.

Best Lines:
“You’re the catcher.”

“Every so often, someone gets stupid.”

“Is there a problem?”
“You’re outside.”

“You’re just silly little children. I’m going to tell on you.”

“Oh dear.”

“Don’t talk. Listen.”

“I’m coming after you.”

“I really have to go.”
“No. You don’t.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Sense8’ promo

‘Odyssey’ 1x03
My interest in this show isn’t obliterated yet.

Best Line:
“No-one’s coming for you Odelle.”

‘Selfie’ promo
No wonder this was axed.

‘The Little Vampire’ (2000) promo

I am reading ‘A Crown For Cold Silver’.

No ‘Charmed’ reboot. Yeah!

Gluten free chocolate muffin - okay.
Chilli potatoes - okay.
Milk chocolate truffles & fondants - okay.
Strawberry ice cream - okay.

I’d like to try walnut pesto.

Years ago I went to a butterfly farm.

‘Drugstore Cowboy’ (1989) was a film about horrible horrible people.

‘Dean Spanley’ (2008) was crap magical realism.

Best Line:
“The chair don’t spit.”

I hope to review ‘Someone To Watch Over Me’.

Dear relative: stop being thankless and eating constantly and being pathetic.

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“The tubes weren’t blocked up with lifeless drunks and sick.”

“A sphere of sog.”

“I felt the eyes of the other diners boring into us with horror.”

“Deep wells of pain.”

“Calligraphic gestures.”

“Wound bearing.”

“Bare acres of flesh to the growing boredom of a jaded public.”


“Nightly 12-hour webcam sex sessions.”

“Regardless of any negative consequences.”

“Make their worse decisions.”

“Had full porn sex.”

“Don’t mention the broom cupboard.”

“They found the language difficult and the television dire.”

“Started creating a scene.”

“He’s often ignored.”

“Behaved like a bitter failure.”

“Slow, incremental humiliation.”

“Like eating a diabetic’s nappy.”

“A strangely prim gesture.”


“Juvenile homosexual stabbings.”

“Much to the disgust and contempt.”

“Anything not to antagonise him.”

“Sordid sexual favours.”


“That house journal of American narcissism Vanity Fair.”

“Look-at-the-fools irony about it.”

“Quite horribly tasteful.”

“Oddly akin.”

“Not good men.”


“Had no respect for her.”

“Airy innocence.”

“A grade z cowboy movie in which the acting finished second to the cinerary and the Cinemascope process.”

“Murderous aggression.”

“Audible shock.”

“Foreboding atmosphere.”


“Emotional storm.”



“Supercilious, rather prudish writing.”

“Lumps of summarising dialogue.”


“Body-shaming outfits.”

“Causally insults.”

“Vomit up everything.”



“Catastrophic consequences.”

“Coarse and stale.”

“Captain of the papal flagship.”

“Barely even recognisable as architecture.”

“Emotionally elegant.”

“Sliding into a retail ghetto of the cheap, the second-hand and the charitable.”

“Had strong views on everything.”

“Period signifiers.”

“Just how unwanted he had been all along.”

“Baby shame.”


“Slavering glee.”

“Astonished and appalled.”

“Horrible, ranting loonies.”

“A monstrous deception.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Non-aligned facilitator.”

“Holding strident views.”

“The breakfast roll trade died off.”

“I knew dentists who whacked their kids with the coal shovel.”

“Without an ounce of discernible talent.”

“Seediest guy in the world, a lothario, a scumbag, a guy who’s dad was great, but who’s a loser and a waste of space.”

“I’m not very good at moderation.”

“Moral vacuum.”

“Verbal allusion.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“What am I lying about?”

“The outcast of the family.”

“We’re a very good family.”

“Couldn’t trust her at all.”

“Became this monster.”

“Embarrassed by her.”

“Every one of them stopped talking to me.”

“Why did you leave?

“I wasn’t wanted there.”

“Nothing was done about it.”

“A bad mother.”

“It’s fabricated. It has to be.”

“Stop what?”

“You didn’t want to help me.”

“What’s everything?”

“Negative, harmful poor choices.”

“We don’t know who you’re around.”

“What was I doing?”

“We don’t do that in this family.”

“Absolutely no remorse.”

“Negative of what?”

“Have a right to be upset with you.”

“They just didn’t come.”

“Where did all the lottery money go?”

“An argument over a cup of sand.”

“What are you so angry about?”

“You seem really angry.”

“I’m getting attacked here.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Ezra is finally arrested for being a perv. Creator’s pet the grasping strumpet Paige is vehemently awful with her fixed expression.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Sinead and Ste name their child Hannah Katy and act like they are ethically right. Ste acts like he isn’t married to John-Paul. He pays more attention to Sinead then he ever did to Doug or John-Paul. Cindy’s literary ambitions bore. Rennie is abhorrent. The egregious Nico regrets her plan to poison her mother and then realises she poisoned herself by accident. Dylan is arrested by the cute cop Ben. Sinead wears short shorts and wants sex despite just having a baby.