May 31st, 2015

To Light The Way To Bed

The Game 1x05 + The Blacklist 2x22 Reviewed

The Game 1x05
The Fray bothers an ex-solider. Jim and Joe ponder the mole. Wendy goes undercover and is soppy and snarky. Bobby is a tedious berk. Kate gets out of prison. This wasn't pleasingly ominous, just ineffective. Joe has another flashback to the doting and disposable Yulia. There are bad Irish accents, maddeningly ambiguous characters and this was unamusing and laughably bad. Sarah and Alan have boring issues. The mole is revealed to be the obvious neckbeard. There is a bomb, raving and a great big reveal.

Best Lines:
“Go back to glaring at the furniture.”

“Are you quite alright Alan?”

“Bring in the specialist interrogators.”

“This nostalgia is what he exploited.”

“Assuming we still have jobs tomorrow.”

~
Masha Rostova (Tom Connolly (no.11))
This episode seems to have two titles. Cooper is out on his ear, Keen is dumb and her idiot back-story makes no sense. Her real name is Masha Rostova and she is the least pitiable character and her being visibly in thrall to Red doesn’t help her case. Ressler runs the task force now. Season 2 has got appalled negative notices but I will give season 3 a try. Red invests every line with sufficient irony. Why isn’t the FBI hunting him?

Ressler lets Keen go and then hunts her. Tom wants to help Keen, she doesn’t let him. Keen can’t act. What about her burn scar and the matching mark on Tom’s go box? Keen and Tom get it on. Cooper is made to look like an idiot. Red does resourcing. Why did he run off and become a criminal? Red does a slide show for investigative journalists. This ep was onerous. Keen knows but just one thing: vengeance and so she kills the evil AG after he threatens the task force. Ressler’s painkiller addiction is finally mentioned.

Keen has blown up her FBI career and Ressler gets his Tommy Lee Jones on. Keen recalls the night of the fire. Cooper is arrested, Tom sails away, ‘Rocket Man’ plays and Keen and Red go away. She’s ruined herself. And for what?

Best Lines:
“Conspiracy? Really?”

“If you run, what does that look like?”

“We get one chance to strike first, we will not get another.”

“That wasn’t deer blood on the windshield.”

“I’ll be back.”
“No, you won’t.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“The world you live in is the world they want you to think you live in.”

“We have a little something in mind for all of you.”

"You will be hunted down."
"I know."
"By me."
Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Game’ 1x06 promo
Joe pulls a gun and there is overacting.

Best Line:
“How could we have missed this?”

‘Baby’s Day Out’ (1994) promo
Terrible.

‘Robin Hood’ (2006) opening credits
Terrible.

‘Taken 2’ promo
No.

Gluten, wheat, dairy free Pecan Pie fruit and nut bar - good.
Garlic and herb Philadelphia - okay.
Un-pasteurised Danish Blue cheese - yum.
Gluten free lemon shortbread - okay.
Gluten free herb and seed oatcakes - okay.
Waldorf Salad - okay apart from the horrible raisins.
Cajun potatoes - okay.
Darker Chocolate fruit & nut bar with brazils and apricots - okay.

I loved the Hot Choc Masque but it was a mess to clean off.

I want to try Tipsycake cupcakes.

‘The Shipping News’ (2001) was bad.

I am reading ‘Crisis of Consciousness’.

Remember the 1986 Zammo does heroin storyline on ‘Grange Hill’?

‘Robin Hood’ (2006) had a greasy, unshaven Guy clad in black leather. A Maid Marian who wouldn’t shut her gob. Plus a Robin Hood who needed an as kicking, he was earnest and gormless and stifling - seeing it all as a jolly up.

Best Line:
“War has addled his brain.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I’ve never been heard.”

“I have emails.”

“Win the moment.”

“Making up the stress disorder.”

“Stop saying that.”

“Too ineffectual as a parent.”

“That’s not normal behaviour.”

“Don’t you do that.”

‘The Daily Telegraph’ Quotes:
“I didn’t trust the post.”

“They don’t seem to exist anymore.”

“A culture of judgment.”

“Bombardment by cosmic rays.”

“It tolls for thee, Maggie!”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Its citizens don’t do manual labour.”

“Consecrated virginity.”

“Has a chronic problem with the lavish expenditure of others people’s money.”

“Repeated embarrassments have taught him nothing.”

“France is weary of him.”

“Unnecessary involvement.”

“Thwarted promise.”

“Could not forgive them their existence.”

“You eat skulls.”

‘CSI’ Quotes:
“I turn you all into mall cops!”

“Murder? Who died?”
“Your wife.”

‘Robin Hood’ (2010) Quotes:
“Tell the old fool that next time, I’ll break his door down.”

“You will be living in the hedgerow.”

“Carrion for foxes and crows!”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“A reasonably functional family.”

“Doomed unto eternity to bore others with half-baked reminiscences.”

“Isn’t pretty for either side.”

“A bee crawled into his ear. We tried to get it out but couldn’t. The only way was to drown it, and the only liquid we had to hand was a bottle of brown ale. So that was poured in and the bee floated out.”

“Hinted at his frustration.”

“An outcast society.”

“Low-rent pub vaudeville.”

“Vanilla sells.”

“Self-aggrandising sense of national destiny.”

“Defining himself in opposition to everything that was foreign.”

“Cosy-as-toast.”

“Vein-popping apoplexia.”

“Moanbag culture.”

‘Thunderbirds Are Go’ Quotes:
“Why exactly?”

“Lots of archaeology going on.”

“Some people would be grateful.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Where is my shed Bernice?”

“A homeless man is giving himself a sink bath.”
Cat

Book Reviews: Day Four + Knight Of Shadows + After The People's Lights Have Gone Off + Renegade

Day Four by Sarah Lotz
The sequel to ‘The Three’ takes place on a remorselessly low rent cruise ship. The customers treat the staff with contemptuous dismissal, the staff respond with sinister dismissal and the grotesquely inevitable situation boils over when the ship breaks down in the vast hinterland of the Gulf of Mexico.

What begins as an initially fractious reaction in the cloistered environment soon turns into an exceptionally nasty series of events and the valiant leader is no such thing. This was excellent and dark and the creepy ending leaves those who set events in motion with bleak satisfaction.

Best Line:
“No way. Do I look insane?”

~
Hunter Of Sherwood: Knight Of Shadows by Tony Venables
This is a diametrically opposed interpretation of the myth. It features Guy of Gisburne, Robin Hood, Maid Marian, Little John, Friar Tuck, the Sherriff of Nottingham, Prince John and Richard the Lionheart - just not as you know them.

King Richard is on Crusade and the Hood rebels against Prince John and the people love him for it. Only the misunderstood Prince John and the outcast knight Guy of Gisburne know what a monster the Hood truly is and how great a danger to the realm he really is. It is the unloved Guy who will be the realm’s true saviour.

But nobody apart from Prince John cares about Guy who has been subjected to years of unwarranted harassment and disparaging remarks. Now he is on a mission to steal a relic from the Templars. There is fighting, brooding and much remaking of the myth. This was good. The preening prurient Robin Hood is the villain and the Guy of Gisburne is the hero. I would like to read more.

Best Lines:
“They have no nation, yet princes fear them.”

“Others will come. Worse than us.”

“Until the screaming started.”

~
After The People’s Lights Have Gone Off by Stephen Graham Jones
A collection of cantankerous horror stories.

Thirteen
I read this dull tale in another anthology. A cinema is haunted or cursed or something. In-between musing mildly on life, the ‘hero’ finally does something about it.

Brushdogs
A debacle of a story that makes no sense, also appeared in another anthology.

Welcome To The Reptile House
A punk bum waster slowly and steadily alienates everyone and moves towards his inevitable destiny with relentlessness. Okay.

This Is Love
A camping trip goes horribly awry as unworthy motivations are wrongly attributed. Okay.

Best Line:
“The jeans-model pose.”

The Spindly Man
As a book club discusses Stephen King, a disruptive new member with the personality and appeal of a decayed clown shows up. Good.

Best Line:
“Or a dead friend, who wasn’t quite fast enough?”

The Black Sleeve Of Destiny
A boy gets a hoodie at a thrift store, an evil hoodie. Good.

Best Line:
“Yelling and grounding and spaghetti flying though the air.”

The Spider Box
A supremely creepy tale that demands we be appalled. Good.

Best Line:
“We won’t talk about this.”

Smoke Monsters
A father is offered a deal but there is a twist. Okay.

Doc’s Story
An excellent tale of werewolves.

The Dead Are Not
Aliens attend funerals. This was excellent, horrible and creepy.

Best Lines:
“With bad, bad intent.”

“People who aren’t people.”

Xebico
College students put on a play. Bad things happen. Okay.

Second Chances
An unnerving tale of a scientist. Okay.

After The People’s Lights Have Gone Off
A couple’s dream home is a nightmare. Good.

Uncle
A widower goes mad. This was bad.

Solve For X
A woman has been adducted by a crazy man. This is a disturbing tale of Stockholm syndrome.

~
Star Trek #48: Renegade by Gene Deweese
This badly written 1991 novel sees Kirk and co told to solve the problem of a planet and its rebellious colony. This had data tapes, computer hacking and elevators used instead of turbolifts. Klingons are the baddies. Spock and McCoy are presumed dead and there is general hysteria. Spock is the only computer expert on the Enterprise apparently and the revelation of the baddies is ridiculous.

Best Line:
“There was no trouble - then.”