May 26th, 2015

Richard/Lost

Book Review: Within This Walls

Within These Walls by Ania Ahlborn
A washed up true crime writer moves to a house where a horrible murder took place. His scrag daughter goes from vaguely hating him to full blown crazy. Flashbacks to 1983 show how a woman’s bottomless neediness made her prime cult bait. And the cult leader’s mad rants about eternal life may not be so mad. This isn’t unspeakably tragic or overpoweringly poignant or a catalogue of hideousness. Instead this is boring and fetid, full of archness, contrivance, coy campiness and a ridiculous ending.

Best Lines:
“Suddenly the cereal bowl was a personal affront.”

“What are people writing to this guy about? Don’t you ever get worried?”
Scary Books

Lady Killer #5 Reviewed

I couldn’t find issues 3&4. Josie murders more people with impunity. Her invariably suspicious mother in law sees too much. There is violence and a sequel hook. This was good and there is more of her path of destruction coming.

Best Line:
“What sort of person are you?”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Hannibal’ season 3 trailer
Hannibal is in Paris and wears an ugly suit and calls the skank his wife. The slash fans must be apocalyptic.

‘Quantico’ season 1 trailer
A new show set at the FBI academy. There is an attack, a set up and one of the trainees is the mastermind. This leads to a quest to uncover the truth. Looks interesting.

Best Lines:
“49 more to go.”

“We had sex in your car 6 hours ago.”

“I’m not coasting on anything Taylor Swift.”

“Think about why you’re here.”

“I didn’t see this coming. No-one did.”

“Only you can fix it.”

‘American Odyssey’ promo
Interesting.

‘Jurassic World’ TV spot
Nice.

‘Humans’ promo
Mmmmmm.

Gluten free mini crackers - okay.
Made guacamole - yum.
Made baked eggs in avocado - yum.
Blood orange - okay.

Egyptians called cats miu or miut (he or she who mews).

Anyone recall the 1987 TV show ‘The Secret World Of Polly Flint’?

Deadshot was killed off on ‘Arrow’ because of ‘Suicide Squad’.

I am reading ‘Harrison Squared’.

I will review ‘Hannibal’ season 3 and may review ‘True Blood’ season 7 and 'American Odyssey'.

Dear relative: stop stealing food.

Clearly Canadian is coming back!

I recall the Funny Feet lolly.

Anyone recall the 1983 movie ‘Packin’ It In’ which toxic waste comes out of an LA family’s bathtub so they go live with survivalists in Oregon? It was funny.

The 2006 ‘Scary Movie 4’ was okay and it had a Dr Phil cameo.

Best Lines:
“Why doesn’t anyone have dryers?”

“I blame myself.”
“As well you should.”

“RUSSELL CROWE’S GOT A PHONE!”

“Another little white girl done fall down a well.”

“Wrong foot.”

The 2000 ‘Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th’ was okay.

Best Lines:
“Who is this?”
“The killer.”

“Do you like scary movies?”
“Oh what you mean like Spike Lee movies?”

‘CSI’ Quote:
“Flesh hungry psychopaths.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quote:
“Eco-crap.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Depp can’t do permits.”

“The mass toddlerisation of our age.”

“Chucking any non-matching kitchenware that creeps into the family home straight in the bin.”

“Are we really facing a world without things?”

“Lust plus.”

“Emotional fallout.”

“A curated connection.”

“The other wife turning up on the doorstep.”

“Send me Agent Provocateur underwear at work.”

“Distracting blocks of dissatisfaction.”

“Clever and apposite.”

“Oddly miscellaneous.”

“They did not recognise the person that became famous.”

“Bumped into her lying in the gutter.”

“The rampant and obvious use of heroin and crack cocaine.”

“Continuous collapse.”

“A junkie without an income.”

“The Great Wall, built to keep them out.”

“Earned notoriety.”

“A form of cultural capital.”

“Feeling marginalised in her own home.”

“A fetid secret.”

“Whore’s droppings.”

“Inanition.”

“Going there ironically.”

“Too many parts of Europe ruined by tossers called Sebastian.”

“I don’t do contracts.”

“An eel farm.”

“Lifestyle wall.”

“Gnarled murderers’ fingernails.”

“Possible irrevocable damage.”

“Severely censured.”

“Crumbled into dust millennia before.”

“Decayed greatness.”

“Hold us in open contempt.”

“Ratty hairpieces.”

“Smart-casual sex-wear.”

“Nervous breakdown in a beard.”

“The ball gown made of rejected sofa material.”

“Terrible insipid honk-a-thon.”

“Increasingly grim procession of over-topiaried banjo twankers.”

“Their diseased tourist restaurant.”

“Deep cooing earnestness.”

“Utter pop garbage.”

“Anti-booing equipment.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“We’re buying our sign on the instalment plan.”

“Don’t clean DNA vials with your spit!”

“Math? I thought you said meth!”

“Noxious pork fumes.”

“Where excellence is in the dictionary.”

“Math on!”

“Ow, dammit!”

“Burn these.”

“Who frolic unclothed even in winter.”

“I like it when it’s not us.”

“You’re the mouth hand.”

“163 square haggis.”

“Apply the transparent tape.”

“Smart little fatso.”

“I learned not to drink out of the crik.”

“All my 11 dead siblings.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Drinks every day, all day.”

“Do you drive impaired?”

“You resent this woman?”
“Yes.”

“I feel disgusted by my mother.”

“Want to physically hurt her.”

“Very combative.”

“Roommates that don’t like each other.”

“Why are you abusing me?”

“Beer is more important.”

“If you left, nobody would care.”

“Been bad, bad, bad.”

“Beyond sick of you.”

“Die. Go away.”

“Causes me to be angry.”

“Emotional warfare.”

“Drunken logic.”

“Face pattern.”

“Weak men.”
Scary Books

5 TV Reviews

Agents of SHIELD 2x22

S.O.S Part Two
The selectively unaccountable Coulson is strident. Cal is grim and unfailingly ineloquent. Women are the root of all evil in this dispiriting finale. Coulson has no moral capital. The stupendously vacant Skye and her delusion of eloquence is all banality. Cal is un-intimidating and puts his viciousness aside to help Coulson and his social dystopia.

Why does SHIELD have global renown? They are jerks. May is an axe wound. This episode wasn’t fearsome, just fundamentally flawed and SHIELD has no cultural hubris. Mack attacks Lincoln cos he is a bigot. Fitz tries to be tough and is cold, bleak and distant. More far reaching consequences are set in motion. Coulson is partriarchal. Mack wants to kill Gordon. Why? Women are treated with strange dispassion. Things go depressingly wrong.

Skye and her mom get spectacularly acrimonious and coercive tactics are employed due to an icy impasse. Things get much much worse. Ward’s patina of courtesy towards SHIELD is broken by his absolute devastation over Kara. Skye is the creator’s pet so gets to lead the Secret Warriors. May has moral failings. There is exposition spewing, stupid dialogue and bad green screen. Skye pollutes the global food supply. Gordon dies. Mack chops with his axe. Cal kills. Mockingbird gets to live. Coulson is still smug, cheap and obvious. Cal gets no human dignity. Ward rebuilds Hydra. Something happens to Simmons - is she an Inhuman? This was bland and boring.

Best Lines:
“Ginger ninjas.”

“How dangerous are we?”
“Very.”

“You’ve got this wrong, very wrong.”

“See what shakes loose.”

“It’s a big boat with poor signage.”

“You started this war.”

“We’re not bad, we’re misled.”

“Hail Hydra to that.”

~
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell 1x02

How Is Lady Pole?
Magic is done. Mr Norrell is a prolific liar and his wig is bad. Strange won’t act in an unseedy manner and he is now married to Arabella. Emma has anxiety and distress, her husband doesn’t care. The sardonic vicious Gentleman (Marc Warren) prances, echo chambers and menaces a servant. Mr Norrell is an ignorant ass. There is no gothic romanticism just seething, bad acting and minimally changing facial expressions. This was short on magnificence and morality.

No epochal events take place just things of lesser importance. I’m not in thrall to the BBC’s shrinking ambitions. Norrell and Strange don’t have conscious exploitation of mutual interests. I’m not enamoured. Mr Norrell has some form of emotional disturbance and a ritualistic attachment to being boring in mental isolation. There is only one singular luminous idea in this episode and that was the sand horses - the rest was just irrelevant rubbish.

Norrell makes another disastrous plot, Strange doesn’t give in - ever and has self-confidence bordering on arrogance. The over zealous Norrell is a stubborn jerk full of bombastic insecurity and he is unethical and has an abundant ego. He makes empty claims of significance. Emma is unbearably difficult to live with and is treated with little ceremony.

Fates are prefigured. An un-foreboding fairyland that has no melancholy charge is shown. There are unnecessary monologues and this has no salience. The Gentleman is particularly toxic and nihilistic. Who was the Raven King? Strange is not a rogue adorable. This was overwrought and not raw or vivid just a meandering undercooked bad seriocomedy with cod-mystical dialogue. Two poshos plot and Norrell’s weird servant lurks.

Best Lines:
“To look after his uncle’s chickens.”

“God is wholly irrelevant.”

“You will do, will you not?”

“Norrell is no friend to me. I would be better dead than as I am.”

“I see rooms full of people and not a Christian among them.”

“He is just as stupid as the other one.”

“Our allies have discovered their mistake and become our enemies.”

“Norrell won’t be pleased.”
“Norrell never is.”

“It is so very dirty abroad.”

~
Person Of Interest 3x22

A House Divided
There are flashbacks to 2010 and the beginning of Vigilance and it shows how a man went from happy to cynical burnout. In the ‘present’, Root has minions. A Decima guy jumps off a roof. Reese whispers. Finch is menaced and is elegantly furious. Greer is denuded of interest. The beached whale Control draws the gang into her necromantic orbit. This show is losing its identity and integrity. This is not an astringent commentary.

Best Lines:
“Beware of false idols.”

“Both vague and dangerous.”

“This world needs structure.”

“That woman’s got friends?”

“Uncertainty. Your personal abyss.”

“Starting to smell like dude.”

~
Stalker 1x20

Love Wounds
Mira Sorvino’s character facilitates a consensus about a serial killer. Amanda’s toyboy ex Trent resurfaces. Jack seems to be stalking Beth now. Ben’s back. Mira Sorvino’s ex turns out to be a murderer and there is a cliff-hanger and that’s that.

Best Lines:
“Why do you take offence?”

“How could you misjudge to that extent?”

~
Gotham 1x17

Red Hood
Bank robbers rob and one wears a red hood. Reggie Payne (David O’Hara of ‘The Tudors’, ‘Wanted’ and ‘Doomsday’) who is an old SAS friend of Alfred’s shows up at stately Wayne Manor. Bruce is such a well mannered goob - he invites Reggie to stay. Fish meets a weirdo (Jeffrey Combs) and acts like she has power. TPTB have softened Bullock a lot. Penguin’s club is doing down, his visage is now tarnished. There is sexism. Cat-teen is a mouthy brat. Fish shows she has a terrible will. This is okay. Alfred has a past and his pal really is a jerk. Alfred gets stabbed and now Bruce cares. There is a nice twist regarding Reggie.

Best Lines:
“Is that guard blind or wasted?”

“What good’s it done you?”

“The short fat one.”

“If he lives.”