April 19th, 2015


Book Review: Deadly Spells

Deadly Spells by Jaye Wells
Book 3 of ‘Prospero’s War’. There are murders, confrontations, catharsis, screaming torments and the resident psychopath whose core skill is being vague pulls strings. Kate who is mildly useless without having a man telling her what to do and how to think shows hints of her original damaged personality. Her younger brother provides nothing by way of assistance to the plot. Kate’s dudebro partner simmers convincingly, plans misfire, choices are made and coiled tension erupts. This was excellent but with a bittersweet ending. Will there be more?

Best Lines:
“What were you doing in the gas station when the murder happened?”
“Turning tricks.”

“If the hospital staff knew him well enough to give him a special moniker, it meant the reason was probably extremely disturbing.”

“My special skills are in high demands in the can.”

“They call me pocket on the streets, but the nurses added hot on account of all the STDs.”

“At first I thought I was just trippin’ balls, right?”

“Drive -by hexings.”

“We don’t need your sort of trash.”

“Desperation made people more pliable, he’d said.”
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Kylo Ren

Trailers, Quotes and a 1999 Tape Tale

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ trailer
Is Superman bad? Is Superman being worshipped? Batman looks angry and like a roid user. Alfred. Looks good.

Best Lines:
“Devils don’t come from hell beneath us. No, they come from the sky.”

“Turns good men cruel.”

“Tell me. Do you bleed? You will.”

‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ trailer
Chewbacca, a geriatric Han, Darth Vader’s rotting mask, Stormtroopers, Sith, a crashed star destroyer and all the lore. Does Luke have a child? Am interested.

Best Line:
“The force is strong in my family.”

‘The Gallows’ teaser
Stop blubbering and look behind you!

‘The Enfield Haunting’ promo
Looks good.

Best Line:
“This is a house of death, for you.”

‘Ballot Monkeys’ promo

‘Titus’ promo

‘The Game’ promo
This BBC drama looks good.

The C Word’ promo

‘Tatau’ promo

‘Breakfast With Scot’ (2007) trailer
Dr Wells from ‘The Flash’ is an ice hockey playing closet case lumbered with a kid. Looks cute.

Best Lines:
“Protect the face.”

“I am a hobo!”

‘Fear Itself’ opening credits

‘Hot Tube Time Machine 2’ sounds crap.

The ‘Sacraments Of Fire’ cover is great.

I’m avoiding ‘Hollyoaks’, because Ste is pining over Brendan the abuser while treating John-Paul in appalling fashion and ignoring dead Doug.

Made gluten-free chocolate cupcakes and they were okay.
Guacamole and gluten free oatcakes - yum.

Rosewater bath gel is nice.

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Get your drink on panty less.”

“Yes, bitch.”

“I don’t want to know you.”

“You’re poison to me.”

“Running around with no underwear.”

“Got caught sneaking drugs.”

“Roll your eyes all you want, that’s all you ever do.”

“I’ve never got any credit.”

‘The Simpsons’ Quote:
“I’m the bum of the future.”

‘Game Of Thrones’ Quote:
“All just spokes on a wheel...I’m going to break the wheel.”

‘The Last Castle’ Quotes:
“They are the enemy.”

“Sick and becoming pathetic.”

“Careful in your word choice.”

‘Breaking Bad’ Quote:
“I am not in danger. I am the danger.”

‘Bad Teacher’ Quote:
“Incredibly very bad.”

‘Marry Me’ Quotes:
“We have a landline? I always thought that was a hipster cookie jar.”

“Stop staring hungry Barbie.”

“Made me dead.”

“Pretty grieve-y.”

“So sub par and childlike.”

“This naked guy with you?”

“Some cry-heaving to do in the bathroom.”

“They’re having a tough day. The toner didn’t come in.”

“He’s scared of power points.”

“You’re mourning wrong.”

‘The Tomorrow People’ Quotes:
“Something went wrong.”

“This dank hovel.”

“Do what needs to be done.”

“Your paranormal sidepiece.”

“Another is negligence.”

“Not our most creative moment.”

“Newsflash Hannibal Lecter!”

‘Atlantis’ Quote:
“She will fall because of him.”

‘Prometheus’ Quotes:
“That’s why they call it a thesis doctor.”

“May I rest in peace.”

“Shared no contact with one another and yet.”

“It’s what I choose to believe.”

“Anything Miss Vickers would need to survive in a hostile environment.”

“Please verbally state the nature of your injury.”

“Nothing but scribblings of savages living in dirty little caves.”

“Is there an agenda?”

“Paid a trillion dollars.”

‘In Fear’ Quotes:
“Bring some friends, if you have any.”

“I think I counted 12 men, 7 dogs, no women.”

Cleared out a 1999 tape. It began with a ‘Hercules The Legendary Journeys’ ep ‘Stranger In A Strange World’. Iolaus ends up in an alternate world. There are 90s SFX, bad tracking, idiot comedy and the sound is wrong. Alternate Hercules is a heartless psycho and beats up Iolaus a lot while plotting to marry alternate Aphrodite. There is bad acting, alternate Xena is a nympho, alternate Iolaus is annoying, alternate Ares is the God of Love and alternate Joxer bores. Alternate Gabrielle also bores. There is a cake fight and this was dull.

Best Lines:
“You are insane.”
“Thank you.”


“About old Zeus, is it true he throws those thunderbolts because they’re he only thing about him big and stiff? Well, is it?”

Then came a season 3 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘Choices’. Tracking is way off. Buffy should have gone to Northwestern University instead of hanging around Sunnydale. Xander is an underachieving ape. The gang don’t care about Cordelia. Wesley tantrums, Willow is captured and the Mayor points out the inevitable obvious end of the B/A love fest. Something Buffy ignores while screwing Spike. This was dull. Things are bad for Cordelia but nobody notices. This was slow.

Best Line:
“It’s way too late.”

Then came a ‘Vengeance Unlimited’ ep ‘Confidence’. In which a con artist cons and Mr Chapel growls. This was dull and murky.

Finally there was another season 3 ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ ep ‘The Prom’ in which Anya asks Xander to prom, there is much B/A angst, Xander bullies Cordelia, there is bad acting and tracking. Hellhounds are made to watch videotapes of such movies as ‘The Club’, ‘Carrie’, ‘Prom Night’ and ‘Prom Night IV’ so they’ll go psycho at the prom. The hellhounds are obviously men in dog suits. The prom gear is all ill-fitting, the music is bad and Buffy gets a Class Protector award. Boring!

Best Lines:
“Are you a happy Xander now?”

“I can’t stay home because we no longer have one.”

“I’m a nametag person!”

“Incompetent maladjust.”

“Zombies! Hyena people! Snyder!”

Arrow3x19 +HowToGetAwayWithMurder1x12 +The Blacklist2x16 + Stalker1x14 + Profit (1996)1x01 Reviewed

Broken Arrow
A dude shoots laser beams out of his eyes. Oliver gets away with his crap thanks to Laurel, Diggle and Felicity. Why does Wells never appear on this show? Felicity’s breasts fall out of a dress. She is an ass. Ray is an idiot. Oliver believes his own creation myth. Roy takes the fall for Oliver. Enough with the Hong Kong flashbacks and Amanda Waller spinning a tale and Shrieve allegedly plotting. Malcolm prances. Oliver thinks Malcolm and Roy should get away with murder. Lance raids Verdant and finds the Arrowcave. Roy is supposed to have built the Arrowcave himself. Felicity and Diggle are scum. Ray is eager to help the violent thug Oliver. Felicity is an entitled bitch. Oliver is an ungrateful rude ass. Ray flies around in his stupid suit. Oliver won’t shut up with his portentous dialogue.

Thea is a whining wet rag, Diggle is boring and Oliver blatantly circumnavigates sense. Bimbo Felicity and her Barbie clothes are in peril. There is a ‘twist’. Ray asks an obvious question about the plotline and Cisco discovers something. What is laser dude? Thea drinks and Ra’s lurks. This was ok but enough with the stupid flashbacks.

Best Lines:
“That wasn’t a power surge.”

“Your days as the Arrow are finished.”

“I got you now, you son of a bitch.”

“I am the Demon’s Head. As those were before me.”

“The Dark Matter explosion.”

“He’s going to beg me.”

“Crawl the heartbeat.”

“What about Deathbolt?”

“He’s got a lot on his plate with Dr Wells, I think.”

“Plasma death thing guy.”

“Going Ahab on Oliver Queen.”

“There is no more Arrow. Ra’s took that from you.”

“I don’t need saving.”

She’s A Murderer
Frank is awful. Keating lives in Sam’s childhood home and is smug and horrible to his sister. Keating is shameless, Bonnie cries and a gangster (Peter Onorati) needs a lawyer. Wes obsesses over the former occupant of his apartment. How did he get into law school? He is lazy and dumb. Rebecca is a liar. Keating mocks Sam’s grieving sister. Is she going to get away with what she did? Laurel hurls herself at the awful Frank. Keating is awful, Bonnie figures it out, there is a twist and this was okay.

Best Lines:
“You don’t find body parts in a landfill.”

“Charred up bits of someone.”

“Brat pack.”

“Your stupid study group.”

“I grew up in this house.”
“And I live here now.”

“It’s bad for me.”

“I notice how upset you seem.”

“When in doubt, shut your mouth.”

“Hell if I know or care.”

“I’m innocent.”
“That’s good. That’s just like how you tell me to say it.”

“You’d think they’d still be alive if I knew?”

“Something rageful.”

“I didn’t mean any of that.”
“Yes you did.”

“Don’t let them ruin you.”

Tom Keen (no. 7)
There can be no clemency - only justice and well lit gratuitous violence.  German is spoken, Keen lies and has stunted vacancy, the neo-Nazis are really ruthless drug dealers. Ressler lurks, Red creates an unseemly morass, Cooper remonstrates and collapses. Red practices social artificiality, bullets fly, Ressler is inauthentic and the Judge lays it on too thick. Tom shows up to stop Keen being tried for murder. What is FISA? The Judge backs down after an offer. The cop, Marty, rants about injustice. Red speaks with forked tongue. Tom lurks. Red has built a structure of loyalty. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Single greatest lapse in judgement.”

“Please tell me you made that up.”

“May look like common street thugs.”

“You open your mouth Donald and hay flies out.”

“A masterful illusion.”

“He convinces himself.”

“I don’t regret it.”

“My name is Tom Keen.”

“How twisted that is.”

“I am ashamed of that.”

“That offends me.”

“I instantly wished I didn’t know.”

My Hero
This had no angular reality or frankness. A couple (one of whom is Phoebe Tonkin of ’The Secret Circle’ and ’Tomorrow When The War Began’) are harassed. Is it because they are cheating liars? No. Jack has no moral core. There is murder, bad acting and Amanda’s toyboy lover pouts and is an insurmountable tool. This was an unsatisfactory misfire. The voluble nutter of the week is obvious from the start. What is a crawlspace? The toyboy is ineffective and remorselessly negative. The ’twist’ is no such thing. The woman realises she has been seeking emotional support from the wrong person. Toyboy sulks with the least justification. Another bad cover version plays. The old crone in a hut is hauled off.

Best Lines:
“One day we’re making plans for the future. The next day he’s telling me that he met his soul mate.”

“Little Miss Baywatch.”

“I had to know if she was happy, she doesn’t deserve to be.”

“Someone was under my house watching me? For how long?”

“That is seriously messed up.”

“It’s called evidence Jack.”

“Everyone has a threshold.”

If you’ve ever been fascinated by the dark side of human nature, we have someone you should meet.
Morally degenerate psychopath Jim Profit (Adrian Pasdar) belongs in the whacko-basket. But instead he is a rising star at an unquiet multi-billion dollar conglomerate. Profit has a pestilent view of success formed due to his terrible upbringing. Profit does direct asides to camera, gets an embezzling secretary Gail (Lisa Darr of ’Popular’) to do his bidding and Jack (Scott Paulin) thinks he is the hero of this story. He isn’t. The title font is dated. It is never said exactly what Grayson & Grayson likes to acquire. But Profit wants to be the President of Acquisitions. He plots against his co-workers via outdated VR software.

The CEO Chaz struts, Chaz’s younger brother Pete is a dumb drunk and Profit babbles about family and plots obliquely. Joanne is head of security and is not taken in by Profit’s eccentric charisma. Jack enjoys his dramatic corner office with a great view. Profit’s vile sleazy stepmother Bobbi lingers. She makes the mistake of taunting him that his abusive father is alive. Profit targets the impotent Pete’s fragile wife Nora.

The odious Pete is faithless and inept. Profit has an alarming talent for dangerous intrigue. Nora is drawn to unsuitable men. Bobbi is entirely without moral sense. Chaz’s ill-used wife is played by a different actress than in later episodes. Joanna shouts all her lines. Jack is smug, too smug, it would come back to bite him hard in 1x02. Profit manipulates Gail via her MS ridden mother. Where does Profit get all his money?

There is black comedy. Joanne the so-called head of security fails to notice obviously faked printed ‘love letters’. Horrible baggy ill fitting clothes are worn. There is a lot of blonde wood. Profit seduces Nora. Jack looks up via outdated tech the outdated internet. Jack has mortal hatred for Profit which would lead to his utter ruin in 1x02. Nora wears horrible shoes, Profit plots and Nora is in sexual bondage to Profit. Jack and Joanne learn of Profit’s background of hillbilly horror abuse and attempted murder. How could and did Profit go from that to working in a multinational? Why did social services never intervene? Profit murders but Jack denies him his big promotion. Oh Jack, you’re not the hero of this story. This was good and has a creepy final image as the real Profit is laid bare.

Best Lines:
“Overworked, overweight and well now, just plain over.”

“I’m sorry.”
“For what? For having a wife that ran off on you? Or for taking her back after you slept with me?”

“Local inquisitor.”

“She’s wonderful when she’s sober.”

“You talk better than you listen.”

“A full damn autopsy!”

“Go ahead; it’s just a visual aid.”

“Lot of money to a junkie.”

“What do we have a cabana for?”

“Mommy needs her bad boy.”

“If you’re done looking at her tits, I’ll take a cheque.”

“We get hit with a 20 million dollar kill fee.”

“They took my blood this morning.”
“Would you believe it? They dropped the vial.”