Ray is shot with an arrow, Lance is full on rabid cop, Felicity is a tool and Laurel does not wear a blouse. Oliver is emotionally locked down. The useless Hong Kong flashbacks drag on and reveal Shado had an identical twin who was never mentioned before now.
Lance didn’t know who the Arrow is but Ra’s tells him. Roy and Thea bore. Why doesn’t Lance arrest Felicity? Ray has a blood clot and babbles about his nanotech. Felicity is as bitchy and ungrateful as ever. Nyssa strides, Oliver is dislikeable and there is fighting. Oliver deserves every thing that is happening as he is a jerk punk playing dress up. Lance knows Roy is Arsenal - why doesn’t he arrest him? Lance sees Laurel in action. Oliver makes things worse.
What about Lance’s heart problems? Oliver lies. Lance is tired of lies. I want Ray off my tv! This was offensively bad. Apparently Thea has assets to freeze. Felicity wants no more genital configuration with Ray. Oliver gives himself up and gets a reason you suck speech. But Roy just has to be dumb
“The man’s a stranger to me now.”
“Also a long story.”
“No warning shots.”
“I need you to trust me.”
“I used to.”
“It’ll stop you.”
“You suffer false perception.”
“Oliver Queen is the Arrow.”
“The freak in Central City.”
“The whole city knows Oliver.”
“He looks like a Disney Prince.”
“You got the right to remain silent, take it.”
“Now you’re set on killing Laurel too.”
“Saving people isn’t your speciality: Tommy, Hilton, your mother.”
Best Christmas Ever
Where is Michaela’s ring? Sam’s sister wonders why no-one cares about him. Wes whines. Keating is horrible. Wes wonders about his predecessor in his apartment. Rebecca is obviously psycho. A client walks in claiming abuse. Frank is horrible. Asher is bitter. All these people are awful. There are flashbacks to various Christmas funtimes - Michaela got drunk and mortified Aidan who ditched her. Nate’s wife is dying. Keating is awful to Sam’s sister and is so judgmental. Connor is awful. Keating’s client is a liar and a nut. Asher is tired of being bullied. Keating ditches a client. Sam’s remains are found. This was bad.
“It’s a fake. I bought it with cash at a jewellery mart in Chinatown.”
“My husband’s holding two girls captive in our basement.”
“Or pretend that Uncle Ray isn’t ripped on scotch and looking at us inappropriately.”
“Connor with a chainsaw?”
“Stay on your end of the couch.”
“But I’m not going to jail.”
“You don’t get to do that.”
“If you don’t like it, I don’t care.”
“You don’t have nightmares where dead people chase you through the woods.”
The Major (no. 75)
This opens with a flashback to Jacob aka Tom being recruited as a troubled teenager by The Major. In the present the harbourmaster case leads to Keen being in court. Keen’s fecklessness and moral poison bores. Keen and co try to intimidate the Judge - no go. Keen acts like she is the star of an oblique sanitary pad commercial. Red rants about how the Major recruits wayward sociopathic children and trains them to be deep cover operatives.
Red has vacant charisma and seems to have learned his life theory from ‘Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome’. Keen is 30. What became of her dog? Keen tells the Judge via clips about the deal with Red. The Judge doesn’t accept this harsh neo-realist drama. I’m bored of Red and Keen’s bitter disputes, endless recriminations, icy looks and conversations that go around and around to no end. What about Ressler’s debasing drug addiction?
Tom sits in a neo-Nazi bar that plays music that seems to consist of the word heil shouted a lot. Keen justified her callous actions. There is a musical montage. Red wants to F someone up. Keen’s charm offensive fails. She is little appreciated. People speak in despairing tones. Who hired Tom is revealed. It was Red and he blames Tom for stuff. Red is disconcertingly crazy. This was good. But what was the point of the whole Berlin plot?
“That’s not what social services says.”
“Bureaucrats trained in missing the obvious.”
“I can help you become anything.”
“That’s all I’m willing to say.”
“Not by this.”
“Dangerous and horrible things.”
“You’ll need to abduct him.”
“You need to leave Donald.”
“The very concept is comically dichotomous.”
“I did love rug time.”
“How did that conversation go?”
“None of this is possible.”
“What a horrible profiler I must be.”
“Wow, I suck.”
A news anchor (Kerr Smith) is stalked. The cultural messaging of this show is weird. The news anchor is all social isolation. His former stalker (the weirdo Frank from ‘Raising Hope’) pops up again and is a faux-prole. Characters mumble. The news anchor has great aggression and is psychologically annihilated. The new stalker is acrimonious. Perry and Beth’s original Krankie look-alike stalker ooze sleaze and run off together. This ep was all grotty Menshevik joylessness. A resentful colleague is a red herring. Characters act with brash idiocy. Nothing is factually persuasive. The resentful co-worker has a stalker of his own and there is a ridic ‘twist’. Another joyless cover version plays.
“Don’t call me crazy.”
“I don’t understand why this is happening again.”
“Even described their basement.”
“This kid has no idea what he’s just done.”
“It’s time for you to go away.”
“This is help.”