March 5th, 2015


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Bloodline’ trailer
Kyle Chandler stars in this Netflix tale of a family. It is from the creator of ‘Damages’ so maybe it’ll be good for one season. A black sheep son returns and people do a lot of staring. This looks good.

Best Lines:
“Something is about to go terribly wrong.”

“No good will come of this.”

“People can change.”
“He can’t.”

“Things happen to people.”

“They hate you man, they always will.”

“We’re not bad people but we did a bad thing.”

The Blacklist’ 2x10 promo
Piss off Liz.

‘The Following’ 3x02 promo
Rubbish, I’m done.

‘Insurgent’ promo
No even if Theo James is hot.

Best Line:
“What little civilization we have left.”

‘Fab Five’ trailer
Five cheerleaders run the school and the town and become a national scandal. Hee.

Best Line:
“We are totally famous!”

‘Arrow’ 3x13 promo

Best Line:
“Hey sis!”

‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ trailer
Why am I worrying that Hawkeye will die?

A Touch of Sea Salt choc - divine.
Mr Kipling French Fancies - ugh.
Mr Kipling Apple Pies - okay.
Mr Kipling Apple & Custard pies - okay.
Mr Kipling Cherry Bakewells - foul.
Mr Kipling Blackberry pies - yum.

The ‘Armageddon’s Arrow’ cover rules!

120 cats on Aoshima island - aawwwww.

‘Devious Maids’ Quotes:
I earned the right to be here.”

“I love her.”
“Enough to go to jail?”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“This is not truthful.”

“You are so hostile.”

“She’s just evil.”

“You shoved me into the Christmas tree.”

“I don’t listen to anything she has to say.”

“Three vindictive girls.”

“False accusations.”

“Help or help anymore?”

“Trying to bash me.”

“You talk bad to him.”

“Did you use his toothbrush to clean the toilet?”

“The venom that you are spitting.”

“The past is over.”

“Her toxic way.”

“Claiming and demanding your right.”

“Unfinished emotional business.”

“Toxic and vile and wrong.”

“Accept their love.”

“How was I supposed to be feel?”

‘Red Queen’ Quote:
“You can talk your people back into their chains.”

‘Satan’s Cheerleaders’ Quotes:
“Don’t let the Sheriff get me!”

“What sort of cult did you say?”
“Jesus Christ!”

“What is it this time?”

“They become stupid and jealous.”

“Getting very irritating.”

“Be quiet woman or I’ll lock you in here!”

“Kill! Kill! Get them!”

“Dammit woman, shut up!”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”
“Most likely.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo + 5 others

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)
A dark murky pee coloured take on the crappy book. Elizabeth has rejected collective conformity and does not have a compliant attitude. Daniel Craig as a reporter uncovers a scene of horror and talks in an endless mildly questioning tone. This was just uneasy.

Best Lines:
“Wearing the tightest sweater that she had to school.”

“She didn’t make it to 18.”

The Island (2005)
Severe editing might have saved this.

Shirley Valentine (1989)
Tom Conti and The F plan.

Body Snatchers (1993)

Ticks (1993)
Kids go camping and mutant ticks attack. Good, Carlton from ‘Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ is in this.

The Watcher In The Woods (1980)
A Disney horror with Bette Davis. A girl vanished 30 years ago during a séance held during an eclipse. Sadly this was bad.

Star Trek The Original Series (1966 - 1969) Reviewed

Due to Leonard Nimoy’s passing here is my summation of TOS.

The Cage
The original failed pilot with no Kirk or McCoy and the XO is a woman. Jeffrey Hunter is Captain Christopher Pike and is okay but the plot is ludicrous.

Season 1

The Man Trap
A salt sucking vampire furry thing menaces Kirk. Spock yells.

Charlie X
A snotty teenager has powers.

Where No Man Has Gone Before
Kirk deals with a power crazed friend by punching him, a lot.

The Naked Time
Spock has a good cry.

Best Lines:
“Fair maiden.”
“Sorry neither.”

The Enemy Within
By Richard Matheson, Kirk is split in two.

The Menagerie 1&2
A clip show of ‘The Cage’ and the fate of Pike (played by a different actor). Spock rebels.

The Conscience Of The King
Is a renowned Shakespearean actor really an infamous war criminal in disguise? Why yes. Good.

Balance Of Terror
The Romulans attack.

Shore Leave
The crew take shore leave on an acid trip planet.

The Galileo Seven
A shuttlecraft crashes and Spock must save them.

The Squire Of Gothos
A super-being (who may have inspired TNG’s Q) annoys.

Tomorrow Is Yesterday
By D.C. Fontana. The ship time travels back to the 60s.

Court Martial
Kirk is set up.

Space Seed
Khan appears for the first time.

A Taste Of Armageddon
Planets wage high tech war and ‘casualties’ are willingly disintegrated. Kirk intervenes.

This Side Of Paradise
Spock trips on space spores so Kirk hurl hurls racial epitaphs at him until Spock tries to beat his head in with a chair. All to snap Spock back to normal. Why did Spock choose to be friends with this person again?

The Devil In The Dark
The Horta debuts.

The Alternative Factor
Frank Gorshin runs around.

The City On The Edge Of Forever
By Harlan Ellison and guest starring Joan Collins. I never liked it, there I said it.

Operation: Annihilate!
A ‘Puppetmasters’ rip-off.

Season 2

Amok Time
Spock goes into Pon Farr and fights and throttles Kirk in lieu of the other thing.

Who Mourns For Adonis?
A Greek god shows up.

Mirror, Mirror
The Terran Empire ep. Kirk and co end up in a dark mirror universe. Kirk parades around in his ‘evil’ uniform. Evil Spock glowers. This was an excellent classic ep to which ‘DS9’ made sequels decades later.

The Doomsday Machine
Kirk v said object. The 1st Trek ep I ever saw.

A wicked witch! The 2nd Trek ep I ever saw.

Journey To Babel
Spock’s parents visit, Kirk is stabbed and does a dramatic collapse. Spock mentions Warp 13 and this was a classic.

Wolf In The Fold
By Robert Bloch. Scotty accused! Jack The Ripper! Iffy.

The Trouble With Tribbles
Cooing furry things take over Space Station K7. Spock pets one, Klingons mutter and Kirk is deluged by tribbles. A classic and 'remade' by DS9 decades later.

A Piece Of The Action
A planet has based itself on Chicago gangs of the 1920s due to accidental ‘cultural contamination’. Kirk tries to drive and strides on a pool table. Amusing.

Patterns Of Force
The Nazi planet ep. Good.

Bread And Circuses
Romans, Gladiators and Jesus. Good.

Best Line:
“Pointy eared hobgoblin!”

Assignment: Earth

Season 3

Spock’s Brain

The Enterprise Incident
Kirk as a Romulan and Spock is shifty. Okay.

Spectre Of The Gun
A Western, utterly stupid.

Day Of The Dove
Klingons and a war mongering thing.

For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky
A bad McCoy ep.

The Tholian Web
Kirk is presumed dead, the mysterious Tholians debut.

Plato’s Stepchildren
Bloody awful.

Elaan Of Troyius
Kirk drags a reluctant bride to her wedding and teaches her to eat chicken like a lady.

The Way To Eden
Space hippies. Terrible.

The Cloud Minders
Social commentary.

The Savage Curtain
Lincoln, Colonel Green and a fight. Good.

All Our Yesterdays
Spock time travels.

Turnabout Intruder
Kirk is possessed in this horrible sign off.
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Scary Books

The Twilight Zone (1986 - 1987) 2x10 + The Flash 1x13 + The 100 2x09 Reviewed

The Toys Of Caliban
A mentally challenged boy named Toby can summon things he sees by looking at pictures. His elderly mother indulges him but his father worries. Then Miss Kemp an irritating social worker shows up to make this downbeat and unsettling tale even worse. Toby is called retarded a lot by said social worker. There is no respite care and no decency, honour or compassion.

Toby can’t bring living things. Toby gives his mother a heart attack but not intentionally. The interfering social worker is the sort of person Christopher Booker complains about. Toby brings his mother back. So Dad decides to end things by showing his son a special picture. This was good. In the UPN revival of the early noughties, they did ‘It’s Still A Good Life’ which was okay and the Katherine Heigl starring ep ‘Cradle of Darkness’ which was not.

Best Lines:

“No one makes house calls anymore.”

“Pictures momma!”

“Nothing wrong with a magazine.”

“You can’t just walk out of here.”
“Can’t we?”

“These aren’t the Dark Ages right?”

“What if he brings it?”

“It was only a squirrel.”

“Or what he might bring.”

“Pictures! Pictures!”

“You never take him outside.”

“You’ve boarded up the windows of this house!”

“A miracle, no.”

“He can’t say no.”

“Oh take it away!”

The Nuclear Man
Barry is self-absorbed and bangs Linda. Joe annoys. Eddie does nothing. Ronnie lurks. Iris shoves her nose in. Joe asks Cisco to help him re-examine the crime scene where Nora was murdered. The house is now owned by a hot divorcee (Chase Masterson of ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’). Barry has flashbacks about Stein (Victor Garber) and apparently there is a book about or by Wells. Ronnie (Robbie Amell) lurks. Cisco thinks a vintage mirror could have caught photographs of the murder and makes 3D holograms out of them. Is Wells well intentioned or does he simply do whatever a person will appreciate?

Nobody noticed the blood on the wall for 15 years? Iris pulls a stunt. Stein/Ronnie is an ass who never so much as hints that he might be wrong about anything. Linda dumps Barry so Barry stomps into Iris’ workplace to call her out. He pulls his Nice Guy act to berate her for not wanting to be with him. Joe tells Cisco of his suspicions about Wells and some of it sticks. Joe is an ass.

Well suggests killing Ronnie. This has no connection to ‘Superman IV’. Snow snots. Barry eats a ghost pepper to make Linda date him again. Wells has a gun. What is Gideon? Why does Wells have a time table? What is a quantum splicer? WTF are the badlands? Why is 30 miles out of town the middle of nowhere? Why is adult Barry’s blood at his mother’s murder scene? Ronnie goes boom and the evil general (Clancy Brown) notices. This was mediocre.

Best Lines:
“Make love, not napalm!”

“Sherry, like the drink.”

“We have hunted metahumans for less.”

“Don’t turn it on! Don’t turn it on!”

“The Super Light.”

“Or you could just not flame on.”

“That was terrifying.”

“I got you.”

“Is it really you?”
“I don’t know.”

“The other one.”

“Wells keeps secrets.”

“Dr Wells is a great man.”

“Not Ronnie.”

“Not so subtly discussing my condition.”

“That’s not freaky at all.”

“Perhaps I’m now a light beer man.”

“You all argue very loudly.”

Remember Me
Clarke’s killed Finn - oh boo you whore. A truce begins. Abbie needs a good beating. Kane is sick of Abbie’s crap. Raven screams. Bellamy won’t shut up. There is murk, people run around Mount Weather and people mumble. There is a mention of the Ice Nation. The Commander is named Lexa. There is trouble, Raven tantrums, Clarke blubbers and has a delusional obsession. This was toxic waste but not harrowing at all, so much for ferocious consequences.

Best Lines:
“They are being led by a child.”

“A big ass hammer.”

“Outsiders never withdraw.”

“So unjam it.”

“I’d step back if I was you.”

“You’re the only murderer here.”

“I didn’t have a choice. You did.”

“She’s innocent.”
“I don’t care.”

“You should run.”

“Speak true.”

“This treachery will cost you yours.”