January 27th, 2015

Scary Books

Book Review: Dreams Of The Golden Age

Dreams Of The Golden Age by Carrie Vaughn
The sequel to ‘After The Golden Age’. 20 years have passed and Celia is middle aged and feeling unwell. Her teenage daughter Anna has a relentless preoccupation with being annoying and she has super powers. Anna and her friends, the descendants of the beloved Olympiad, have a plan to take up where the disbanded Olympiad left off. But a wickedly scheming un-enigmatically obvious villain has taken root in the city. As the teens bicker over resentment and feeling unappreciated, the hallowed ground where the Olympiad once triumphed is in danger. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Horror movies started this way.”

“This is what I was always meant to do.”

“He was excellent at expressing himself, as long as he could punch through a nearby wall.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Hannibal’ season 3 promo
Will’s alive and someone is dead. Hannibal wears a bizarre jacket, looks greasy and doesn’t speak. Will forgives Hannibal? WTF

‘The 100’ 2x04 promo
Mmmmm.

Kevin Federline’s 2007 Nationwide superbowl commercial
Hilarious: “Federline! Fries! Now!”

Anyone else recall ‘The Best Of Misty’ comic?

There is a Squirrel Pox virus?

A reason to skip ‘A.K.A Jessica Jones’ in 2016 has been made clear.

I will review: ’Devoted Ladies, ‘The Poison Apples’, ‘Deadly Spells’, ‘Magic Breaks’, ‘Four Sisters’, ‘Apocalypse’, ‘Afraid’, ‘Savage Trade’, ‘Flight of the Black Angel’, ‘Black Wings of Cthulhu III’ and ‘The Elder Ice’.

‘Bones’ has finally killed off Sweets. Praise Jesus!

I would like to read Jo Gibson’s ‘The Séance’.

There is to be an ‘Elementary’ novel? Yawn.

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Watch him turn his back on our mother and our family.”

“Very upset.”

“Extremely upset.”

“She got silent.”

“Entertaining herself with your life.”

“Chad texts her in heaven?”

“He talks about killing people all the time.”

“He only wants to kill bad people.”

“Do a homicide to someone.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Classed as moral imbeciles.”

“Forbidden by her uncle from entering his house because of her illegitimacy.”

“The moral flabbiness, the uncontrollable impulses, the selfishness and the lack of self-respect that characterises one or both of the birth parents.”

“One thought that Rhodesia was the other side of Haywards Heath.”

“Far from being backward, violent and thick, medieval Europe was a place of intellectual reflection.”

“There’s this idea that women want to kill each other all the time.”

“Prone to protracted bouts of metaphysical babble.”

“Spiritually connected with a tree in the playground of her boarding school.”

“I needed unification and I really found it with that tree.”

“No time to ferc around.”

“His political world exists just to have a world to be psychotic in.”

“His fetid bedroom.”

“That is so sleepy as to be virtually comatose.”

“A smile that seemed not to be rooted in emotion.”

“Not true at all.”

“Page after page of berserk non sequiturs.”

“Warped and confused words.”

“A certitude, absolutism and implacable conviction.”

“Not necessarily a psychotic paranoid.”

“Crepuscular gloom.”

“Delusional absolutism.”

“The incoherent rants.”

“The chilling coldness.”

“If he is mad, then they are all mad too.”

“The genetic malady of speaking her mind.”

“None of us could hit that hard.”

“Lived in his 1999 Toyota until it was stolen for scrap.”

“Noxious-smelling.”

“Does not trust packaged food.”

Un-attributed Quotes:
“I’ve laid out better than you.”

“Never wore a shop bought sock in his life.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Lindsey disowns Kim for calling Freddie a murderer. Lindsey is thick. Lindsey is a slut, a liar, a cheat and now is okay with Freddie having stabbed her friend to death. WTF? Where is Joe? Leela overlooks Ste cheating on John Paul twice. Freddie is arrested for GBH. Grace plots.
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: Evil Dead: Extended Cut + The Dead Pool + The Dish

Evil Dead (2013) Extended Cut
David, Eric, Mia (Jane Levy), Olivia and Natalie head to a remote cabin in the woods because Mia is struggling with sobriety. Eric the idiot finds The Book Of The Dead in the basement and unwisely reads from it thus summoning up dormant demons. This was an okay remake but what was the point. Sure the first two original ‘Evil Dead’ movies were crap but why remake them?

The gang hang around the inhospitable place. Sad eyes Mia has reluctance to engage with the others due to Olivia’s scornful denunciation of her addiction and the increasing systemic doubt of everything she says. Olivia stands sternly and stubbornly annoys and has distain for Mia. David is curiously formless. Mia is increasingly hysterical and emotion is incontinently displayed. She is also out shouted by the more assertive characters.

Something malevolent is out there. Self destructive protagonist Mia is subjected to demon rape and possession and afterwards her pleas for help are meet with barked dismissals. Olivia likes to blame the most vulnerable for her own misfortune. This was not bitingly realistic. The wild force is in Mia and it propagates. David’s galpal Natalie has an uneventful stare. Levy is committed to her role. David and Eric’s stupidity is almost impossible to tolerate. Why won’t Eric stop reading the freakish book?

The demons are cruel and feared. There is a nail gun attack, blood, chainsaws, electric carving knife, sap, cgi, fire and over the top gore. This was devoid of scares. There is also a pointless Bruce Campbell cameo. (Channel 4 was sent the wrong master which it aired. The master was returned to the studio and will not be aired again. It had an additional 4 minutes of footage and seems to have been the extended cut).

Best Lines:
“I have seen the dark shadows moving in the woods and I have no doubt that whatever I have resurrected is sure to come calling for me.”

“I will rip your soul out.”

“There is something dead and it reeks.”

“You’re all going to die tonight.”

“The Abomination will rise from hell.”

“What kind of a virus makes a person cut off their face with a piece of glass?”

“We’re all going to be dead by then.”

“Maybe we’ve all gone crazy.”

“Don’t die on me please.”

“She waits for you in hell.”

“Go back to hell bitch.”

~
The Dead Pool (1988)
Ridic

~
The Dish (2000)
Sam Neill wears a cardi.
To Light The Way To Bed

Gotham (2014 - 2019) 1x01 Reviewed

Pilot
Selina Kyle walks around the city posing and stealing. She also witnesses Thomas and Martha Wayne being murdered as they walk through a dark and dingy alley. This has no continuity to ‘Batman Begins’. Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie of ’The OC’) and Harvey Bullock investigate. Alfred (Sean Pertwee) takes care of Bruce letting everyone know how East End he is. The title card is iffy and exposition rains down.

Ed the GCPD CSI is the future Riddler. Fish (Jada Pinkett Smith of ‘Scream 2’) is a mob boss and her sidekick is Oswald (Robin Lord Taylor) the future Penguin. Crime operates with impunity in Gotham. Gordon’s soon to be wife Barbara is boring and that is incontestable. Oswald utters hate filled diatribes. Gordon and Bullock have laughably macho angst and neither is keen on being liked.

The future Poison Ivy shows up as a kid. The Major Crimes Unit sneer. Oswald snitches. A mob war is coming. Gordon asks the relevant question: why were the Waynes killed? Barbara has a past with MCU cop Montoya. There is violence, Fish annoys and Falcone looms. Gordon has to pretend to be part of the corruption in order to clean it up. Gordon really should have killed Oswald though. Bruce Wayne is one messed up annoying kid. Oswald kills someone and Gordon plan to clean up the GCPD. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Next time, shoot the son of a bitch.”

“You had to go and be disrespectful.”

“You understand?”
“No.”

“Was that screaming we heard back there?”
“Yes. My boys were watching a scary movie.”
“Really?”
“No.”

“I’ve done nothing.”
“So it’ll be a pleasant talk.”

“May I ask why?”
“No.”

“There are rules.”

“There will be chaos.”

“Don’t ever come back to Gotham.”

“Sterling work there mate.”
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