November 11th, 2014

Scary Books

Trailer, Quotes and Stuff

‘Agent Carter’ sneak peak
Peggy Carter, Howard Stark and the original Jarvis. Yawn. Looks crap. Where is Hydra?

Best Line:
“I invented it. So it works.”

I will review ‘Gotham’ and ‘War Horse’.

I am reading ‘Disavowed’.

Poor Freya, rehomed out of Downing Street.

25 years since the Berlin Wall fell.

The 1996 movie ‘Primal Fear’ is boring. It is based on book 1 of a trilogy. Martin Vail is a sleazy defence attorney and is played by a smug Richard Gere. Vail takes on an un-winnable case in the form of Aaron Stampler (Edward Norton) who is pale, wan and accused of hacking up a beloved Archbishop. Despite all that this is dated looking, full of ACTINGS, swearing and a twist that played out better in the book. DID plays a plot point. Several before they were famous actors wander around. The courtroom drama is a done genre and this shows why.

On ‘Neighbours’: Karl hunted for his lost scratchy.

‘The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“Every testicle fail video on the internet.”

“Free nudity!”

“Turned your mind to ketchup water.”

“I’m not feeling it.”

“You’ll never outsit me.”

“The sit is on.”

“Eat your broccoli!”

“My password is Annoyed Grunt.”

“Those filthy mini-trees.”

“This horrible impasse can come to an end.”

“You lick this table clean! Lick it!”

“That’s great honesty son.”

“The hearty grog of empowerment.”

“You will hate what I hate.”

“Inter-personally fruitful.”

“Epiphany ahoy!”

“Questionable therapeutic value.”

“That’s going to hurt for a long time.”

‘A Fate Totally Worse Than Death’ Quote:
“One of Cliffside High’s most illustrious graduates until he was prosecuted for larceny, perjury and mail fraud.

‘Awkward’ Quotes:
“Storm cloud of despair.”

“I really don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“Her oversized maternity tops.”

“A social misfit.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Why would he even allow his wife to sue me?”

“Out roller skating in front of the paparazzi.”

“That looks like attention getting behaviour.”

“You’re an interloper into someone else’s marriage.”

“They didn’t even have Clinton sex.”
Scary Books

Stalker (2014 - 2015) 1x01 + House Of Cards 2x07-2x11 Reviewed

This got a full season but based on this episode I can’t see why. A woman is killed by her stalker in the opening minutes. This was created by Kevin Williamson of the ‘Scream’ saga and ‘The Following’ and stars the smug git Dylan McDermott, Maggie Q and Elisabeth Rohm.

Beth (Q) runs the LAPD’s Threat Assessment Unit (TAU). New hire Jack (McDermott) shows up to be a spectacular ass. Jack is stalking his ex-wife (Rohm). But she’s making him do it because she won’t let him see their son and he can’t handle being an abstemious parent and she’s a selfish vagina haver or something.

A creepy college kid stalks his former roommate. Cops are incompetent. Beth may have a stalker. Women are stupid, men are sleazy and this was a sexist, unclean mediocre disappointment. A stalker lurked in a crawlspace, there is a lot of bad acting, a sleazy lawyer is sleazy and there is a ‘twist’. A wife is washed out, Beth smacks around the creepy college kid, Jack stares at his ex and a cover of ‘Creep’ plays, but of course it does.

Best Lines:
“We have too much access to one another.”

“Delusional fixations that are pushed to extremes.”

“What are you doing here?”

“A failed actor in need of an audience.”

“Props in his own self-obsession.”

“Most people are incapable of change.”

“I saw that movie too.”

“I watched ‘Fatal Attraction’, ‘Obsessed’, ‘The Bodyguard’, ‘Cape Fear’, ‘Swimfan’.”

“Bed close to the floor so no-one can hide under it. She didn’t feel safe, hadn’t in a long time.”

“Too afraid to sleep.”

“I’m a miserable middle-aged man, it’s what we do.”

“I did a little softcore when I first moved out here.”

“Above her. As if he was on top of her.”

“She thinks I make amateur porn.”

“You make me sound psychotic.”

Chapter 20
This opens with a hilarious attack ad on the Walker administration. Walker is agitating and wants everybody to agree to what he wants. He can’t see Underwood’s seething discontent. Tusk is deliberately malign and steering public discourse. A reporter hangs out at the rib shop. Stamper lacks emotional engagement. Remy is playing psychosocial games to bring down the Underwoods. Tusk has wilful selfish disregard and excels in obstructionism and imposing his views on those that don’t share them. The Underwoods have brazen gall. The plot is all about China. Seth is in league with Remy and then he isn’t. Mrs Walker has suspicions about Christina. Bad people are venomous. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“He even brought one of them into the White House.”

“Issue based attack ads.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Makes me look uninformed.”

“What should we serve the Walkers?”

Chapter 21
Remy uncovers Claire‘s adultery. Rachel lives in inglorious squalor. Nobody hears Underwood’s direct addressing? Identical looking women have first world problems. This episode was about as deep as cross-crease eye shadow. Remy plays Linda. Underwood obsequies and rails. Walker is benighted. The First Lady is uneasy and won‘t be docile. Tusk is faced down. Significant facts are in dispute. Rachel starts a new relationship. Stamper sniffs sheets. Claire fights for social good. The ongoing China trade war is punitive to the viewer. Linda is fired; she is content and seemingly can’t see the devil in plain sight. Tusk’s wife swears and Claire’s use of Adam as a grinding prop is front page news. This was conspicuously dull.

Best Lines:
“Loyalty isn’t her thing.”

“The back-stabbing vomit inducing bitch.”

“Look where your desk is now.”

“She lost but she played to win.”

Chapter 22
Claire must fend off repercussions. Adam has a new woman. Freddy has drama involving his thankless idiot son. Underwood is hefty. Seth the cut-price Jason Bateman smugs. Claire throws Adam under a bus, but not literally. Underwood is a psychopath. Remy bothers Adam. A reporter sniffs after Tusk who menaces her. This has about as much depth as an ‘NCIS: LA’ episode. Freddy is targeted by Tusk. Seth hires a ringer (Susannah Hoffman). Underwood wears a ridiculous disguise. The rib shop closes. Tusk kills a poor bird. Underwood needs a truss and is not scary good.

Best Lines:
“Upward mobility has a ceiling with the Underwoods. I’m the ceiling.”

“One of them gets booted back to the orphanage.”

“When I was banging.”

“Keep an eye on him.”
“I plan to.”

“I don’t know whether to be proud or terrified.”

“Never regret.”

Chapter 23
The idiot hacker and his guinea pig are back. Stamper is dyspeptic and is discontent. An island creates strife. Claire is targeted by a nutter. Jackie changes her mind. Christina has been fired. Tusk is implicated in misuse of funds. Underwood is enraged. Drama cakes are baked. Remy is strangely unrepentant. Meechum (Nathan Darrow) has consistency. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“I’m no longer asking.”

“That’s a terrible idea.”
“Maybe so.”

Chapter 24
The administration is under investigation by a Special Prosecutor. Stamper has delusions. Vile slanders fly. Remy is undesirable and wants out. Claire reaches out. Walker pops pills. Claire gets Meechum drunk so he and the Underwoods can have a threesome for stress relief. Underwood is egregious.

Best Lines:
“If we fail, we’ll die in a cage.”

“How bad is it?”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: The Falcon Throne

The Falcon Throne by Karen Miller
A major new fantasy epic begins with this thick volume. In a medieval-stasis world, every crown is tarnished by the blood of ambition. Roric rises up against his tyrant cousin but his best intentions only lead to rot and ruin. A royal heir believed dead grows to adulthood determined to regain his father’s stolen throne. A widow defies the lords who control her. And two royal brothers are divided by ambition and treachery. And unseen in the shadows, someone is orchestrating it all for unfathomable reasons.

This is a very good book that covers 20 years and is full of fascinating tragic doomed characters. Roric faces public notoriety, impostor syndrome and the inevitability of his overthrow. The widow ignores blunt truths to her cost. The hidden unobtrusive heir is raised by a quasi mad-woman. And the evil brother happily murders all who oppose him seeing himself as the inexorable face of the future. Roll on Book Two!

Best Lines:
“To my way of thinking, Balfre farts with sinister purpose.”

“Your pestilent duchy.”


“Do you tell me they’ll be missed? Any of them?”