October 2nd, 2014


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Glue’ 1x04 promo
There’s more of this?

‘Gotham’ 1x03 promo
Balloons, hateful women, the Penguin and I’m not caring.

I am reading ‘3:59’, having put aside ‘The Infinite Sea’ for the moment.

I will review ‘Cthulhu Cymraeg’, ‘Hardship’, ‘Foul Deeds Will Rise’, ‘Dreams of the Golden Age’, ‘Growth’, ‘Cthulhu Lives’ and ‘Ultraviolet’.

Bruschetta - good.
Chocolate M&Ms - okay.

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“Did you send Ashley to go in a methhouse?”

So ‘The Tomorrow People’ is cancelled but questions remain. When Stephen rewound time to save cold fish Cara, why didn’t he rewind it to save his father? What became of Morgan and Jedikiah’s unborn child? Was John Jedikiah’s son? What was Jedikiah up to with his new DOD plan? Has Roger’s death finally sent him over the edge? Stephen’s brother Luca is human, so what will become of him?

Best Line:
“I’ve made him immortal.”

On ‘Neighbours’: Brad is stupid and inconsiderate. Lauren is obviously intent on stealing Brad from Terese, even Matt believes it. Paige troublemakes. It is inexplicable that Lauren doesn’t know how she comes across. Toadfish is a profoundly bad actor. Brad won’t stop having private conversations with Lauren and hanging out with her. He enjoys Terese’s pain. Paige rubs it in and gloats. Brad, Paige and Lauren act like they are the innocent ones.

Best Lines:
"Those kind of thoughts are just poisonous."

"I'm coming baby, I'm coming!"

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Ste flips out on the stand. Diane is a bitch. Ste robs The Hutch to get drug money. Nancy throws Darren out of his own house. She needs a punch in the face. Finn and Robbie testify. Nana points out John-Paul’s emotional damage to Diane. Robbie recalls that Darren is his half-brother. Darren recalls that Rick is Robbie’s dad. Ste buys drugs. Diane cakes on the mascara and takes the stand.

Best Line:
“I always win.”
Scary Books

Movie Review: The Ref (1994)

Gus (Denis Leary) botches a burglary and so takes Caroline (Judy Davis) and Lloyd Chasseur (Kevin Spacey) hostage. They have a marriage made in hell, an evil spawn son named Jesse and a flock of appalling relatives (Glynis Johns, Christine Baranski and Ellie Raab of ’Poison Candy’) who are enroute for Christmas Eve dinner. Gus is overwhelmed by the Chasseur’s screaming matches about Caroline’s emasculating adultery and Lloyd’s patronising disgust. The inept hypocrite Gus yells and demands order. Caroline has no sense of personal responsibility and Lloyd has a propensity for deep seated rage. Everything is very brown.

Blame is flung around and a breathless portrayal of martial discord and stagnation is on view. Gus only accentuates the problem and the situation deteriorates. A cop and a drunken Santa have dull subplots. Lloyd and Caroline’s demon seed fugly son shows up. The plot hinges on outdated technology. Gus yells down the phone at his drunken vagrant imbecile sidekick. Ugly clothes are worn.

Jesse’s military academy master (J.K Simmons) shows up as do the extended family. Dinner is produced from thin air. I think chunks were cut out of this film. Gus pretends to be a marriage counsellor. Flaming candle wreaths are worn. Lloyd’s awful smothering mother berates Caroline until Caroline yells at her about Lloyd: “Lady, why don’t you just sleep with him?” prompting a rare moment of silence.

Caroline is full of self pity, Jesse is an awful whining brat and Lloyd finally lets his anger out. This prompts him and Caroline to reunite. Gus escapes and gets away with all his crap. The ending was reshot apparently; in the original ending Gus was arrested. They should have kept that ending. This was okay but nowhere near as funny as it thinks it is.

Best Lines:
“He just wants me to wear a red A on my chest and sleep in the basement.”
“Is that so unreasonable?”

“I’m miserable and you’re content?”

“Who would catch a criminal and then let him go free?”

“Satan mom.”

“That adulteress and her delinquent son.”

“I hope they get into a fight like they always do.”

“We’ll just say we’re being affectionate.”
“Tied up, with an armed man in the house?”
“Works for me.”

“Humans get frightened because they have feelings. Didn’t your alien leaders teach you that before they sent you here?!?”
“I suppose you’ll use this drama as a reason to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next deliveryman that comes to this house!”

“I have a gun. It’s loaded. Shut up.”

“You were sent there because high schools wouldn’t enrol you anymore.”

“Mom, the TV’s broke. What are we going to do all night?”
“Celebrate the birth of Christ!”

“My mother was Irish.”
“And your father?”

“You think death scares me? You forget buddy, I’ve been married to him for 15 years.”

“A nasty selfish woman.”

"What the hell am I eating?"

"Because it's quicker."
"Not the way you drive."

“Gag your grandma.”

“Grandma’s eating through her gag.”
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Scary Books

The Following 2x01 + Wiseguy (1987 - 1990) 1x16 + Devious Maids 1x11 + Legends 1x03 Reviewed

One year after the events of the season 1 finale, Ryan is a civilian and Claire is dead, or is she? Ryan has transcended his Joe obsession, or has he? He did snap his Joe worshipping neighbour’s neck after all. He has a sponsor (Keith Carradine), is teaching and has a niece Max (Jessica Stroup of ‘90210‘). Ryan has moved on. Then Joe Carroll cultists show up on a subway train and massacre the passengers. Mike despite being suspended is called in. The Joe Carroll cult is self-sustaining. A new gang of weirdoes gather: creepy twins, a French woman and a boring guy. They have all obviously seen ‘Copycat’ one time too many.

Joe Carroll’s son is in witness protection. Emma has pink hair and is annoyed. Ryan sequesters himself from the case. Ryan turns out to be a liar with a wall of crazy; he also finally got a security system. Naturally Joe Carroll isn’t dead; he is down south hanging out with a woman (Carrie Preston of ’True Blood’ and ’Person of Interest’). This was vibrant and good.

Best Lines:
“You judged. Don’t judge.”

“The resurrection is coming!”

“What were they saying?”
“Crazy things.”

“You can’t just lay there.”

"I kill stupid people."

“We didn’t find em all. Now they’re recruiting more.”

“You’re walking away.”
“I considered running.”

The Merchant Of Death
Susan falls for Vinnie or does she? A banana republic needs weapons. Roger eggs on trouble and Mel plans an arms deal. Mel has left his hermetic isolation due to hypermania, again. Susan may be tired of Mel’s desolate moods. Mel wears a big ass emerald ring and smirks. Vinnie has an inability to fake it, which is bad in an undercover agent. Susan talks about how their mother dumped them but is she just practising human self interest? Susan dresses up in fur, pearls and a rose and black toned dress. William B Davis of ‘The X Files’ and ‘Continuum’ has a one scene cameo as a French mook.

Vinnie is an idiot. Susan is sly. Mel blackmails a French diplomat engaging in illegal arms sales while wearing ugly standard issue 80s attire at a Friends Of The Whales gathering. Susan has no friends. Mel does a mocking French accent to get the missiles. Susan gives Vinnie cufflinks and they boff. Roger is dubious. Mel has more disorientating mood swings as he goes beyond borderline psychotic and intense. He wears a polo neck, rants and sees Vinnie as a love rival. This was good and a telex plays a plot point.

Best Lines:
“You can throw him away now.”

“Love me?”

"It does have a more sincere ring to it."

“More missiles than Khomeini.”

“War is hell ain’t it Jose?”

“Mel Profitt is very far away, you are not.”

“The central stone is too dark.”

“Mel’s not well.”

“What Vince doesn’t know, won’t hurt us.”

“What’s your interest in Angola?”
“I hear they make nice sweaters.”

“You were my attention getter.”

“It does have a more sincere ring to it.”

“Merchant of death discovered.”

“I want your soul. It’s worth one million dollars and my silence.”

“Arrange it would you?”

“You’re going to be a wonderful man to own.”

“If you have a point make it before I lose interest.”
“Your yearly income exceeds the gross national product of half the nations on this globe.”

“Go find Vinnie and Sue.”

“His master’s voice.”

“You speak French?”

“Why discuss unpleasantness?”

“Amid the refuse of your career.”

“Remember Louis XVI?”

“Every pore of my existence feels the absence of you!”

“They thought I had atheistic tendencies.”

“What do you think of him?”
“I try not to.”

“Mel Profitt leaves bodies lying face up wherever he goes.”

“Profitt’s power extends all the way to the hallowed halls.”

“Mel Profitt’s been living so close to the edge, he doesn’t know how close he is.”

Cleaning Out The Closet
Peri shows dispiritingly low morals by committing a hit and run. Taylor makes Olivia’s suicide attempt all about her. The fatuous home wrecker Taylor wants Olivia to be a virtual irrelevance in her life. Marisol suspects Remi whilst overlooking the obvious. Zoila is graceless and disparaging. AJ has an empathy deficiency. This was common and vulgar and full of chaotic inner lives. Marisol has no magnamity and is vociferously awful. Rosie rants. Carmen is trash. Marisol really isn’t as clever as she thinks she is. AJ’s dumped boyfriend freaks out and plots revenge. Zoila attempts to scupper another romance. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I’m a macho Latin singer.”

“Please tell me you didn’t seduce the plummer again.”

“Is my disgust showing?”

“You are a big ball of hostility.”

“That emotional conman.”

“Then why are you a maid?”
“I have no good answer for that.”

“You are bad!”

“I love him.”
“Love someone else.”

Lords Of War
The FBI is still looking for the VX gas. Martin menaces a guy with a hotel iron. The hoodie murder is still being investigated. Dubious stuff happens. Crystal acts like she can’t countenance working with Martin. This show has a paucity of imagination. Crystal whines and fulminates. Martin is reckless and his ex acts like a hag. Is the implication that Crystal and the ex-wife are both in on it? Whatever it is? This seems like a reboot of ‘Wiseguy’. To prove to the VX people that he isn’t FBI, Martin has to do a bad bad thing. This was dull.

Best Line:
“Don’t make me an enemy.”