August 21st, 2014


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story’ trailer
Behind the scenes of the egregious 1980s show. Slater is horribly miscast.

Best Line:

‘The 100’ 1x08 promo

Glue’ promo
WTF is this upcoming E4 promo about?

Mockingbird in season 2 of ‘Agents of SHIELD’?

I am reading ‘Visions’.

‘Animal Rescue’ Quote:
“They’re sheep, apparently.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“He do! He does!”

‘Fortune’s Pawn’ Quote:
“Shooting for cash was a game for the young. You either got a desk job, applied to the Home Guard, or went back to your parents in a body bag.”

‘Neighbours’ Quote:
“We need to get rid of her.”

Sparkling Elderflower - ugh.
Stuffed Vine Leaves - good.
Peru origin 64% Dark Choc - yum.
French Dressing - yum.
Blackcurrant pastilles - nice.
Raspberry and Cranberry tea - ok.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Freddie and Mercedes reach new levels of woeful behaviour. They (and Cameron) frame dead Sam for Fraser’s murder. Sandy reviles Freddie. Leela and Peri are scathing shambolic twits.
Scary Books

Murder Most Horrid (1991 - 1999) 3x01 + Devious Maids 1x05 + The 100 1x07 Reviewed

Girl Friday
Sally Fairfax (Dawn French) is the ultra committed PA to her sleazy boss (Nigel Havers). The pasty and doughy Sally wants to slide herself under her boss, which is the un-sexiest thing he can imagine. Sally is fond of drinking until comatose and has Gavin Rossdale hair and is bitter and defensive. Her boss has a mistress. Sally sulks. Everyone has the personality of cold beans.

Sally is a bridge troll who is self disrupting. She loves her own supposed awesomeness yet brings down the calibre of the place and reeks of desperation. Her creepy boss who has gross old manhood and looks like he smells a bit kills his wife. Sally gets her groove back and gets revenge for him mocking her love for him. This was bad and inauthentic. The kooky font of the opening credits couldn’t save this cheap and nasty tale.

Best Lines:
Good healthy clay.”

“Just book it bitch!”

Taking Out The Trash
Marisol’s son Eddie is a stupid, ungrateful raconteur. Remi is continually unbearable as he brings home his trashy ex. Neither have any social niceties and excel at being ignorant.  Valentina fights the trashy ex. Carmen’s husband shows up and she’s way too old to be at this nonsense. Peri has no integrity. Marisol learns more about the deceptively irrelevant Powells; they have a dead child and massive issues. Why don’t they just divorce instead of making ugly assertions and holding on to festering disproportionate resentment?

Carmen’s troublingly vague and has no objectivity; her husband Oscar has stark demands. I feel no melancholy for her and her disgraceful desperation. Oscar turns out to be fairly brutal. Peri has a demeanour of pure marble. Remi ignores class angst to indulge in libertinage and nocturnal corridor creeping. Marisol tells Eddie how Flora was trash. Rosie makes herself indispensable to her boss.

Best Lines:
“Forgo the accusatory look.”

“Nobody. Just the maid.”

“Tell me the slut’s name!”

“That’s different.”
“Because he’s lucky to have me.”

“Have you forgiven me yet?”

“Your disgusting little hobby.”

“Why are you ruining it?”

Contents Under Pressure
Raven contacts the Ark, a storm rages and Finn has been stabbed. Abby is consistently annoying and is thrown off the Council. The Ark wanted to ignore the flares but can’t once Raven makes contact. The Earth seems to be free of queues of empty cars thronging the motorway, smashed up malls and various other ruin porn littered with the useless paraphernalia of technologised lives. Bellamy ‘questions’ the captured Grounder (Ricky Whittle). Bellamy is very unfavourable, Octavia tirades and Bellamy wants war with the Grounders. This is not inescapably bleak.

Diana (Kate Vernon of ‘Battlestar Galactica’) gets Abby’s Council seat and Project Exodus is discussed. A pop culture reference is made to the Titanic. Clarke is not engaging, Octavia is needy and Finn is sickly. This show is not nuanced. The Chancellor is a redundant character. Lots of people join in on battering the Grounder. Kane wants his mummy. Octavia and Octavia alone learns something about the Grounder.

Best Lines:
“The Earth is survivable.”

“Coming to me with dangerous questions.”

“He might just be out of the woods.”
“Down here, there’s nothing but woods.”

“Mankind is going home.”

“If you tell us, they’ll stop.”

“He’ll be back and not alone next time.”

“There are 2237 people on this Ark and there only enough Drop Ships to carry 700.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: Blood Promise

Blood Promise by Richelle Mead
The 4th in the ‘Vampire Academy’ saga. Rose has left St Vladimir’s Academy (again) on an overblown mission to kill her lover Dmitri who has been turned into a Strigoi. While he ravages, Rose goes through innumerable indignities and debilitating grief to find him. But finding Dmitri is detrimental to her health as her boyfriend turned object of fear is now a raging psycho. Meanwhile back at St Vladimir’s Lissa is indulging in lunatic partying and unidentified drinking injuries. A big showdown is coming as accumulative plot threads come together. This was very good and very enjoyable. It caused a reassertion of my liking for this saga after the misfire of ‘Shadow Kiss’.

Best Lines:
“Dad’s decided I’m on good behaviour now.”
“Poor oblivious bastard,”

“I didn’t get a choice.”
“And don’t you regret that?”
“No, not now.”

“When weighing the option to search a four-story house full of vampires or run off into the countryside before they found you.”

“Dmitri was still coming. He really was a god, a god who brought death closer with each footstep.”

Retro Review: Lost Season 4 Eps 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 & 11

1. The Beginning Of The End
As rescue appears imminent, a division occurs among the Flight 815 survivors. Flashforwards show Hurley can’t adjust to life off the island. He meets Ana-Lucia’s old partner Mike and sees a vision of Charlie. Matthew Abbadon bores, Claire picks Locke’s side, nobody has any concept of personal safety, Naomi is alive and Jack will become a drug addled, suicidal, ranting junkie. This was underwhelming.

Best Line:
“Jack should never have called those people.”

3. The Economist
Flashforwards show Sayid has taken an unexpected path. Jack sulks. Ben has a secret hidey hole and continues his deliberate provocation. Very good.

4. Eggtown
Locke wants answers from Miles. Flashforwards show Kate’s trial and her ’son’. Miles annoys, Locke whips out a grenade and Locke’s followers make themselves at home in the Barracks. Goodish.

5. The Constant
Sayid and Desmond arrive on the freighter full of rude, hostile people. Desmond time travels to 1996 or something. Princess skank Charlotte and uptight Daniel are shifty. Ok.

6. The Other Woman
Juliet is contacted by Goodwin’s wife Harper. Charlotte and Daniel head to the Tempest station. Ben claims the Others have abandoned him. Widmore wants the island back; no matter the negative impact. Ok.

Best Line:
“If my people still wanted me John, they would have stormed this camp long ago.”

7. Ji Yeon
Sayid and Desmond encounter Michael. In a flashforward, Sun visits Jin’s grave. Daniel is an ass. Ok.

8. Meet Kevin Johnson
Sayid demands Michael explain what happened after he left the island. Things didn’t really work out for him. Karl and Danielle are casually killed off. Miles is still an obnoxious tool. Goodish.

9. The Shape Of Things To Come
Mercenaries storm the island and kill Alex. The freighter people’s lying ways are exposed. Ben throws down the gauntlet to Widmore. Good.

Best Line:
“I know that everything you have, you took from me.”

10. Something Nice Back Home
Claire vanishes. Miles is an enormous tool. The freighter folk are badgered for answers. In a flashforward the churlish Jack swills pills and booze. Nobody cares about the selfish git and his anxiety issues at this point. Ok.

11. Cabin Fever
Locke finds the cabin. Murderous plotting is afoot and a Locke flashback shows his 1st encounter with the fascinating Richard (Nestor Carbonell). Ben and Hurley share an Apollo bar. Locke is dumb. Abbadon bores. Desmond lies. Good, I will never forgive TPTB for the tooth-rottingly saccharine sentimentality of season 6.

Best Lines:
“What happened to them?”
“He did.”

“I thought you were the leader.”
“Not always.”
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Scary Books

Cropsey (2009) Reviewed

A documentary on an urban legend that turned out to be true in 1987 Staten Island. It is a true story of missing children, a dismal closed down hospital and a weirdo named Andre Rand who may be a serial killer. Is he unambiguously guilty? Why were missing children treated as irrelevant considerations for years? This was grim and footage from the 70s and 80s show eyewitness, Rand drooling during his perp walk and generally acting like a bug eyed nut with cheese straws for teeth who is squeezed into a sweaty shirt.

There was little direct evidence, much is made about occult cults, Rand won’t talk, family members give possible motives and this is an unnerving insight into a bizarre case. Tenacious victims’ families hold out hope, there are bizarre goings on in underground tunnels, defence attorneys don’t do a very good job and this was good and disturbing.

Best Lines:
“Evilness sells.”

“The amount of weirdoes living on Staten Island that I ran into.”

“God knows what they could find here.”

“Every community has a seedy underside.”

“22 years in the ground.”

“We was being kidnapped.”

“A city under a city.”

“Low class white trash version of Jim Jones.”