August 14th, 2014


Book Reviews: The Revenge + The Curse + A Season In Carcosa, part 2

Frankenstein’s Children Book Two: The Revenge by Richard Pierce
Sara resurrected her boyfriend Josh after his suicide by using the journals of his ancestor Victor Frankenstein. Josh’s new existence is only the start of the nightmare as there are things about that infamous scientist, Josh, his family and herself that she doesn’t know. This is a chilling and dark tale of obsessive love, a terrible twisted family and lost love.

Frankenstein’s Children Book Three: The Curse by Richard Pierce
The town of Thunder Lake is being roamed by monsters. Victor Frankenstein never died and townsfolk turn into a baying mob. This is a haunting finale full of passion, love and dark forces.

A Season In Carcosa edited by Joseph S. Pulver, Sr, part 2

Yellow Bird Strings
Crap about puppets.

The Theatre And Its Double
A tale of madness.

Best Line:
“Changing. Into what, I never want to know.”

The Hymn Of The Hyades
A boy no one much cares about becomes part of the mythos. Good.

Slick Black Bones And Soft Black Stars
A mass grave is exacerbated on Carcosa. Excellent.

Not Enough Hope
I’ve no idea what this was about.

Whose Hearts Are Pure Gold
A girl goes mad in grotesque fashion. Not Effective.

April Dawn
A stage Irishman encounters Robert Chambers. Dull.

King Wolf
Kids are stranded in the bush. Ridiculous.

The White-Face At Dawn
A man and spiders. WTF?

Wishing Well
A tale of Hollywood, child stars, a creepy old TV show and the King In Yellow. Good.

A starlet gets a job on a very odd movie set. Creepy.

The King Is Yellow
A trio of toughs get a hold of the forbade tome and brutality ensues. Okay.

A writer and his editor do wistful stuff in rough bars. No.

Salvation In Yellow
Utterly incoherent.

The Beat Hotel
Carcosa in 60s Paris. Good.

Best Line:
“He had never read the play either. Most with any sense hadn’t.”

“She had never opened the book either but she had known of many who had and what had happened.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Movie Reviews: Death To Smoochy + Cargo

Death To Smoochy (2002)
This is a nasty, twisted black comedy that is occasionally amusing. Rainbow Randolph (the late Robin Williams) is America’s biggest kids TV show star until he is busted by the FBI for accepting bribes. To save face the network replaces him with squeaky clean nice guy Sheldon (Edward Norton). Sheldon is an overnight success going from performing at methadone clinics to being the number 1 kids TV star. Sheldon is worshipped and Randolph is a homeless pariah sinking into insanity. Randolph is determined to bring his replacement down. Can Sheldon prevail over Randolph’s campaign of sabotage?

Best Lines:
“You’re here to sell sugar and plastic.”

“Bastard son of Barney! Die! Die stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die you Muppet from hell! Die you foam motherf##ker!”

“Welcome to Fatty Arbuckle land!”

“It’s a shame this happened. Okay, now let’s go pray and get sh##faced.”

“So remember kids, a step dad is a lot like a new puppy. They need patience and love while they adjust to their new surroundings. But remember, if he is ever abusive to you or mommy, what are the magic numbers?”

Cargo (2013)
This 7 minute short film sees a man and his baby stranded in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. His wife has turned and bitten him and he has to protect his baby before he turns too. He heads for a safe zone collecting guts, a stick and a balloon on the way whilst carrying the baby on his back. Eventually other survivors show up and discover (eventually) how the father protected his baby. This is not catastrophically horrible.

Murder Most Horrid (1991 - 1999) 4x04 + The 100 1x06 + Continuum 2x07&2x08 Reviewed

Confessions of a Murderer
This was directed by Edgar Wright. A cop (Philip Jackson of ‘Agatha Christie’s Poirot’) gets yet another false confession to murder from crime show addict Harriet (Dawn French). The cop’s boss Inspector Dawson (Hugh Bonneville of ‘Downton Abbey’) is an ass and he is exasperated by the annoying woman and her various confessions to things like Shergar. The not visually appealing Harriet has cats named Inspector Frost, Brother Cadfael and Inspector Morse. Harriet is addicted to an awful channel where she watches endless repeated crime shows. I felt widespread hostility for this episode due to Harriet’s abrasive personality and Dawson stomping around and scowling a lot. There are references to ‘Taggart’ and the 1970s ‘Hawaii Five-0’. A reporter (Graeme Garden of ‘The Goodies‘) shows up to follow up on Harriet’s wild confessions. Harriet stalks the petty mean spirited jerk Dawson and there is a twist. This was not good, Dawn French and her good-natured obesity grate.

Best Lines:
“I picked up the shovel!”

“Explain yourself chummy!”

“I am Lord Lucan!”

“More sad than bad.”

“Close it!”

“I drowned the bank manager in the cement mix!”

“Your sad little house with your sad little cats!”

His Sister’s Keeper
We get flashbacks to Bellamy and his irresponsible mother so we can feel sorry for the useless eater. Raven is a twit, Finn is a man-tit and Bellamy heads into Grounder territory like it is a model bar to find Octavia and her pornification. Clarke does ‘inconsolable’. Grounders lurk and kill more of the morons. Octavia whines. More flashbacks show how Ms Blake did favours for a guard to get stuff. Bellamy was to be a guard but then screwed everything up by his own uric. Bellamy is vicious and discombobulating. This ep was vulgar and crude. They’ve only been on the ground for 10 days or so? Finn gets shanked, Raven whines and Octavia and Bellamy have words. I’ve no sympathy for the twit; he needs a good slap around.

Best Lines:
“I don’t speak Grounder but I’m pretty sure this means keep out.”

“They started this.”

“Everything that’s gone wrong is because of you.”

“Mom was floated for having you.”

Second Degree
Elena’s body is not in its grave. Gardiner sneaks. Julian goes on trial. Martin plays Carlos. Alec doesn’t have a job. Liber8 jury tamper or do they? Alec’s mother is ever useless. Emily has ninja skills and an agenda. There is a twist. In 2077 Julian is a jailbird mass murderer. Okay.

Second Listen
2077 there is a random gratuitous ass shot of Garza and she has an unexpected connection with Alec. Gardiner is helpful. A dog eats drugs. Garza does evil chortling. There are deaths and a mysterious guy who may or may not be Liber8 looms. Alec wonders if Jason is his daddy. Freelance time travellers have hand tattoos that are code. Mr Escher bores and he is a freelancer. Alec and his one facial expression is grabbed by Garza. Kiera sneers. Gardiner dies. This was dull and absurd.

Best Lines:
“That’s not good.”

“They’re more of a cult and the time continuum is their chess board.”

“More better.”

“I know who he is!”
“I know who he becomes!”

“There is no fate.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Into The Storm’ TV spot

‘The 100’ 1x07 promo

Best Line:
Mankind is going home.”

Review of ‘The Creation of Anne Boleyn’ delayed.

I am reading ‘Shadow Kiss’.

Simon Kassianides in season 2 ‘Agents of SHIELD’!

Orange choc = yum.
Corn On The Cob salad = nice.
Sicilian lemon and peppermint mints = good.
Dark Madagascar choc = yum.

The Berlin Wall was also called the The Anti-Fascist Protection Barrier?

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“You ruined this family.”

“Twisted human being.”

“He’s paranoid.”

“He hurts people.”

“She may be out in the parking lot for all I know.”

“The toxic element that you can control is you.”

‘Shadow Kiss’ Quotes:
“This is the most stereotypical vampire food ever.”

“Your cradle-robbing mentor.”

Retro Review: Lost Season 3 Eps 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 21 & 22

1. A Tale Of Two Cities
Juliet’s book club discuss ‘Carrie’ which some dislike as Ben wouldn’t read it. Juliet loves ‘Carrie’. The Others see Flight 815 break up in mid-air. That the Others artificially constructed world is not one of barefoot feral jungle dwelling freaks is the big revelation. Juliet manipulates the captured Jack as flashbacks show his deeply insane behaviour. Ben has hair like a worn out toilet brush. Good.

Best Lines:
“He wouldn’t read this in the damn bathroom.”

“You run you can make that shore in an hour.”

3. Further Instructions
Locke has a creepy vision. Good.

4. Every Man For Himself
Ben smarms. The Others have a submarine. Good.

5. The Cost Of Living
Eko staggers around the jungle having an existential crisis before dying. Nikki and Paulo visit the Pearl hatch with Locke and co and see Mikhail on a screen. Dissatisfying.

6. I Do
Kate and Sawyer get it on. Beware panty crickets! Jack operates on Ben but threatens to kill him unless Kate escapes. Flashbacks show Kate’s doomed marriage; she was and is road ass. Good.

8. Flashes Before Your Eyes
Desmond flashbacks and recalls Widmore the real big bad. Good.

Best Line:
“If the bearded wonder could predict the future, he wouldn’t have ended up here would he?”

9. Stranger In A Strange Land
Jack has utterly useless flashback. Cindy asks about Ana-Lucia. Juliet lies. Dire.

10. Tricia Tanaka Is Dead
Kate and Sawyer return to the beach. No-one talks about the Others or Michael. Hurley recalls how a meteor took out Mr Cluck’s. The Dharma van with Roger’s skeleton is found. Hurley mentions how his best friend Johnny ran off with his girlfriend Starla. Good.

12. Par Avion
Claire has an idea. Locke, Sayid, Kate and Danielle trek towards the Others. The sonic fence shows up. Good.

13. The Man From Tallahassee
Sayid, Locke and Kate have found the Barracks. Locke has flashbacks and menaces Alex. Ben orders Richard around. No Latin is spoken. Locke blows up the submarine. Jack is a mendacious ass. The imperceptible cracks in Ben’s leadership are apparent. Locke and Ben discuss the island’s healing abilities. Ben lies. Locke thinks he is uttering dread incantations. Juliet and her nose job and frozen face bore. Locke’s flashbacks aren’t affecting. Okay.

Best Lines:
“I want to know how they found us.”

“No John unfortunately we don’t have a code for ’there’s a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter’s head’. Although we obviously should.”

“That would be the end of me, too.”

14. Expose
Flashbacks show how Nikki and Paulo murdered, stole diamonds, found the drug plane, wandered about the Pearl hatch and encountered the Others. Nikki is visually exploited and her greed gets Paulo and her buried alive. Okish.

15. Left Behind
Locke joins the Others (or so he thinks). Juliet and Kate fail to bond. Why did Richard never tell anyone what the jungle monster was? Ok.

Best Line:
“We don’t know what it is but we know that it doesn’t like our fence.”

16. One Of Us
Sayid, Juliet, Kate and Jack return to the beach. Juliet’s sugar parade of flashbacks goes on. Richard looks good in a suit. Juliet’s ratty wig is awful. Richard looks creepy. Juliet chugs OJ. Juliet shagged Goodwin. Bug-eyed Ben was creepy and got a glass of water slapped out of his hand by Juliet. Ethan wears a bad wig. Sawyer takes up space. Claire gets sick. Okay.

Best Lines:
“I want to know what you people are doing on this island.”

“Where did Locke go?”
“He went with them.”

“Mikhail? It’s Ben. I’m here with Juliet. We’re approaching the house. Don’t shoot us!”

17. Catch-22
Desmond has a vision of a parachutist arriving on the island. Goodish.

18. D.O.C
Sun’s pregnant. Mikhail helps the parachute woman. There are revelations about flight 815. Goodish.

21. Greatest Hits
Karl has a warning. Ben the Dharma janitor turned big bad plots. The radio tower is found. How can Charlie suddenly swim? Good.

22. Through The Looking Glass
Charlie dies. A flash-forward shows Jack is a mess and wants to go back to the island. Jack makes contact with the outside world aka Widmore and his goon squad. Danielle and Alex are reunited. Locke tries to kill Naomi. Monstrously eerie.

Best Line:
“This island is under assault by forces stronger than anything its had to deal with in many, many years and we are meant to protect it.”
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