July 19th, 2014


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

'Person of Interest’ 3x19 promo

‘The Fall’ series 2 promo
Eeeew, do they have to make it look like the serial killer and cop fancy each other?

‘Step Up 5: All In’ TV spot
They want their own show so cue a dance contest in Vegas. No.

Avengers: Age of Ultron’ looks naff.

‘Night Terrors’ Quotes:
“Do you have to sound so psychotic when you laugh?”
“It’s not my fault. You dreamed me this way.”

‘Desperate Housewives’ Quote:
Oh Pam, eat a carrot!”

‘Dr Phil’ Quote:
“Crazy nutcases!”

“A West Virginia yokel and an idiot.”

I won’t review ‘The Light Fantastic’ and I won’t be reading 'Zombie Apocalypse: Horror Hospital’.

I will review ‘Muirhouse’, 'By The Pricking of my Thumbs', 'A Pocket Full of Rye' and 'Vampire Academy'.

I am reading ‘Night Terrors’.

Saw some of ‘Neighbours’ and the bitter, horrible and nasty Toadfish is having an emotional affair with Naomi and telling his wife to take their kid and leave as he doesn’t want them around.

Peanut Butter Cup = yum.
3 Musketeers Bar = nice.
Hershey’s Kisses = okay.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Grace and Trevor reunite. Freddie killed Fraser but frames Joe. Diane and Sandy are morons.
Scary Books

Movie Review: High Crimes (2002)

A war crime happens in 1988. In 2000, Claire (Ashley Judd) and Tom (Jim Caviezel of ‘Person of Interest’) live in San Francisco. He wears Clark Kent glasses and she waves a pee covered ovulation stick around. Claire is a defence lawyer, her mooch sister (Amanda Peet) gets too much screen time and Tom is arrested with excessive force for that 1988 war crime.

He is to be tied before a military court. Claire is determined to defend him from the death penalty. Her useless sister wears a choker. Claire asks Grimes (Morgan Freeman) an ex-JAG lawyer to help her. Tom yells, the judge is nasty, various morons run around babbling about national security and Claire isn’t sure, then she is and then isn’t sure again about Tom’s innocence. There are cover-ups, people muttering down large mobile phones and a silly twist and a fight. This was glossy but dull.

Best Lines:
“I swear I never did this.”

“May I please see the charging document?”

“Do not look at me like that!”

“Any good?”
The best.”

“Wake up and smell the napalm.”

“They needed to go away.”
Scary Books

The Omega Factor (1979) 1x02 +The Honourable Woman 1x03 +Crisis 1x13 + The WalkingDead 4x07 Reviewed

In a house there is heavy breathing, yelling and glowing red eyes. Crane’s brother shows up to mumble and then he wanders off again. Crane chats with his new co-workers at the experimental Department 7 investigative unit. Do all Crane’s friends work for Department 7? A cassette tape recorded voices at the creepy house, voices from undetected sources. Crane looks up a medium to contact Julia. Drexel is involved in the house’s past. There is 70s SFX and mumbling about a thought form.

Dated apparatus is used to examine the house. There is screaming, noises and rolling around. A girl shows up. Did they retreat? Was the house a repository for Drexel’s evil? I do not know nor do I care. This amounted to nothing. Crane has phenomenal psychic talents and his co-worker Anne (Louise Jameson) is afraid of him. I was precluded from enjoying this exacting ep as I have no idea what was going on. I derived no enjoyment from this dreck.

Best Lines:
“Something rather nasty happened.”

“A spooky wife?”

“Everyone thought they were just harmless eccentrics.”

“Nasty and debased ways.”

“He got away with it and got away.”

“I used to be and now I am again.”

The Killing Call
Gail, the wife of Gaz the dead kidnapper, looks into a bag near wind turbines. Atika the translator turned housekeeper and mysterious family hanger on brushes her teeth a lot. Rachel stares. Sir Hugh Hayden-Hoyle is morose and flashbacks to Gaza which is either 8 or 7 years ago depending on who is talking bore.

The missing Kasim is still missing. Ephra stares. Nobody knows Nessa and Atika were kidnapped in Gaza 7 years ago for almost a year. Rachel is awful. The cops and Rachel think Kasim is Ephra’s son. Sir Hugh Hayden-Hoyle spies on his former lover. Nessa’s bodyguard Nathaniel stares at an uncleaned hospital room. Nessa menaces a nurse; Nessa shags Nathaniel and then maybe gets him killed.

A weirdo Beatnik stares, Sir Hugh Hayden-Hoyle probes the Stein’s secrets and there is cod-philosophical mumbling. Nessa never seems to do any work she just stares, poses, cries and talks like someone with a pill addiction. This episode was bad as secrets and lies accrue. But the varied quality makes it impossible to care who is calling Nessa as she blubbers in her nightie.

An Israeli with a burnt face unpacks a rifle in a men’s toilet. Is he Kasim’s father? Is this show about identity? Rachel attention seeks, Ephra is bothered and Sir Hugh Hayden-Hoyle mutters about the IDF’s Unit 13 and hostage rescue. Nessa sleeps behind multiple locks. There are dreadful consequences and Nathaniel wears a ribbed mustard coloured sweater as he gets got. Gail gets got and this bored.

Best Lines:
“Look what this has done to us.

“It’s our world you’re living in.”

“Then be uncomfortable!”

“It’s a very nice place. Rye.”

“I wouldn’t pretend it doesn’t exist.”

“The toothbrush wasn’t Kasim’s.”

World’s Best Dad
Gibson is delusional and won’t confess to save Beth Ann. Instead he declares he’d kidnap and murder all over again. He digs up a laptop in his basement. The FBI takes ages to arrest Gibson. The stupid First Lady is murdered by Gibson. Finley bigs up Suzy. Gibson expects everyone to defer to him. Gibson’s laptop of doom texts two former hostages. Kyle the moronic First Son realises he let Gibson poison his mother and that he murdered the innocent Hurst. Suck on it you fool.

What happened to all the other kids? No-one cares. Everyone dances to Gibson’s tune. Amber and Ian do stupid stuff because mysterious texts told them too. Why don’t the FBI check Gibson’s house and find his magical laptop? How is Gibson allowed to get away with all this? Suzy blathers on and on about her and Meg’s awful childhood. No-one gives a crap.

After finally being arrested Gibson escapes FBI custody via a poison gas tooth or something that the FBI failed to notice. Why is law enforcement to damn stupid on this show? Nobody tells Meg that Amber is safe which leads to her getting shot by Gibson. Yes Meg took Beth Ann but just to let her know her father was the kidnapper. Somehow a page of Gibson’s notebook was salvaged and Beth Ann reads it and screams. Gibson yells about being misstated and goes respectively incoherent about his lies and abetting. Where is Jonas? Where is Meg’s invisible husband? Beth Ann who up until now has had the IQ of a hot stone massage stone calls her misbegotten father an evil murderer. Abruptly Gibson dies but his laptop carries on texting. This was terrible and now Gibson freaks out? Show over, moving on. Yawn.

Best Lines:
“If Gibson is bad, what about Hurst?

“We know who this is.”

“It’s still happening.”

“We’re not getting taken again.”

“You made that happen not me.”

“This is what happens.”

Dead Weight
I skipped 4x06 so I don’t know why the Governor is suddenly hanging out with a bunch of new people pretending his name is Brian. There is a whiny kid, a whispering woman and a violent nutter (Kirk Acevedo of ‘Fringe’) and his nice brother (Enver Gjokaj of ‘Dollhouse’). The Governor is theoretically trying to be a good guy but that is contradicted by who he is.

Why did the walkers turn almost everyone in tandem into self-obsessed violent jerks? Is it a requirement to be on this show? Violent nutter and his equally violently nutter friends keep poking the Governor with a stick. It’s not unlucrative for them. The Governor explodes into violence as takes over his new group. The nice guy won’t raid another camp so he’s summarily killed off. The violent nutter, Mitch, doesn’t care even though the nice guy was his brother. The Governor tells some metaphorical tale about his abusive dad and nice brother. This episode makes no sense either story wise or structurally. The Governor stumbles across the prison and starts caressing his gun in an unpleasant fashion. This was bad and David Morrissey is about as scary as a cinema hotdog.

Best Lines:
“Were you bad?”

“People did this.”

“I’m running things now.”

Book Review: Bride of Death

Bride Of Death by T.A. Pratt
The latest ‘Marla Mason’ novel sees the sorcerer turned part time Death goddess decides to atone for her terrible behaviour. So she goes out on a road trip, with the living severed head of an enemy as her guide, to wander the earth, fight evil and help the helpless. She comes around cultists, things in the earth, meth heads, murderers and Lovecraftian horrors as she attempts to do better. This was good, the call-backs to previous books and set up for future books is intriguing.

Best Lines:
“I assume I don’t dress up in a latex Grim Reaper outfit and chase people with a spectral scythe.”

“My ethic heritage is white trash. Of course I can ride a motorcycle.”

“These big square stackable bottles people buy in bulk in case there’s an earthquake or civilization collapses, so they won’t get dehydrated while they cower in their homes and wait for the skin-eating mutants to come devour them.”

“Pretty articulately for an ancient chthonic horror.”

“I’ve been in cleaner crackhouses.”

“It came from beyond the back of the stars.”

“They look like they’re preparing to re-enact some sort of violent peasant uprising.”
  • Current Music
    Pretty In Pink - The Psychedelic Furs
  • Tags