July 11th, 2014

Scary Books

Ghost #5 Reviewed

Ghost fights crime unaware someone is hunting her. Von Ghastly a TV horror host has been taken over by a demon. Ghost goes to sort him out and encounters minions and a stunning reveal. This was good.

Best Lines:
“Doors open to impossible, featureless hallways that go for hours and miles.”

“If Von Ghastly isn’t a demon, he’s something scarier, something I haven’t met yet.”

“Whatever Von Ghastly is, it’s so much worse than I was hoping for.”
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Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1’ teaser
Peeta, District 13 and “The Mockingjay lives.” Good!

‘Gone Girl’ trailer
I love the book. Amy Dunne is missing and her jerkass husband Nick is the prime suspect. This looks good.

Best Lines:
“Did you kill your wife Nick?”

“I will practice believing my husband loves me. But I could be wrong.”

“I am frightened of my own husband.”

“How was your marriage Nick?”

‘Bloody New Year’ (1987) trailer
This horror shows morons landing on an island where weird stuff goes on. An angry banister! Screaming! Dramatic door opening! Killer fishing net! Angry cutlery! Looks interesting.

Best Lines:
“It started as a day out.”

“Locked in time forever!”

‘Extant’ first look
Astronaut Molly Woods (Halle Berry) went on a 13 month solo mission. She did not return alone. She’s pregnant. Her scientist husband (Goran Visnjic) has built them a creepy robot son. Men in black lurk. This looks weird but interesting.

Best Lines:
“Are you sure there was no-one else?”

“You don’t believe her?”

“Be careful. Don’t trust them.”

“Safe from what?”

“We were hoping for contact. If they’re here we’re way out of our depth.”

‘Hannibal’ 2x10 promo
This trailer is better than the episode.

‘Utopia’ series 2 promo

‘The 100’ 1x02 promo

Best Line:
“There are people here.”

I will review ‘High Crimes’.

I am reading ‘Arbella: England’s Lost Queen’.

I will not review ‘The Walking Dead’ 4x06 ‘Live Bait’.

‘Arbella’ Quotes
“She refused to leave her bed, and the King’s men had to carry her into the street, mattress and all.”

“A most foul stinking sink.”

“When I see her enraged against any person whatever, I wish myself in Calcutta.”

“If you were in the habit of seeing such things in your head as I do in mine, you would not persuade me to go there.”

“I will pull down my breeches and they shall also see my arse.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I don’t pawn everything.”

“I want to shoot his ass.”

“Peeing in bottles that are leaking through the roof.”

“He got his ass crucified.”

‘Criminal Minds’ Quotes:
“I am not sick.”
“I think you are.

MurderedByMyBoyfriend+The100 1x01+Hannibal 2x10+TrueBlood 6x06+ PersonofInterest 2x01&2x02 Reviewed

Murdered By My Boyfriend (2014)
This BBC3 drama is a true story but the names have been changed. 17 year old Ashley (Georgina Campbell) meets Reece (Royce Pierreson) who at first seems handsome, charming and shy. But his true abusive personality comes out when he gets her pregnant after 3 months of dating. Ashley becomes apprehensive of upsetting Reece who leaves her bruised and checks her Facebook. She goes from happy confident teenager to a timid, dowdy, uncomfortable woman over the four years of their relationship. She has to send him selfies to prove what she’s doing, he yells, the police are useless and he cheats.

The paranoid, violent, bullying Reece tears downs Ashley’s hopes of a career and a family in-between rages and tearful displays of contrition. Ashley is afraid of him and hides it from her friends. After Reece batters her publicly she still stays with him out of emotional extortion. Finally as the beyond the grave voiceover tells us a drunken Reece beats Ashley to death with an ironing board as their daughter Jasmine watches. This was bleak, brutal and sad. The real ‘Reece’ is in jail and the police admitted they failed the real ‘Ashley’ but she is still dead.

Best Lines:
“Is that what mummy’s wearing?”

“There were good times too.”

“I could only be happy if he was.”

“You’re scaring the baby.”
“Stop crying!”

“It was never his fault.”

“Please leave him Ashley.”

“It began and ended when I fell in love. But this was never a love story.”

This was based on a terrible book. 97 years ago a nuclear apocalypse left Earth simmering in radiation. 12 nations had space stations when the bombs fell, there is now only the Ark made up of all 12 melded together. Now life support is faltering and 100 surly whining teenage criminals are sent to Earth to see if it is habitable. Which is a better alternative then the death sentence, all crime on the Ark results in a death sentence. It is population control. This seems very similar to ‘Earth 2’. There are annoying kids and the adults are the more interesting characters.

The ‘heroine’ Clarke spews exposition; her mother (Paige Turco of ‘American Gothic’) has a plan. Clarke stares as the moron teenagers damage the drop ship, destroy their link with the Ark, have fake outrage and refuse to engage in rational debate. Clarke is the self appointed leader, Wells is the son of the Ark’s chancellor, Octavia is the slut and Finn is the wilfully annoying pretty boy. The Ark’s staff are played by Kelly Hu, Alessando Juliani, Henry Ian Cusick and Isiah Washington. The chancellor (Washington) has a power struggle with Kane (Cusick).

The teenagers are on Earth and lack autonomy, have a fist fight, can’t act and are begrudgingly disinterested in their own survival. Clarke and co see a deer affected by radiation. A loony snuck onto the drop ship after trying to kill the chancellor and he stirs up trouble by being as obnoxious as possible. Octavia goes swimming in her underwear and nearly gets eaten by something. The impossibility of these twits surviving even a day is hammered home. Meanwhile on the ark Kane sees the will of the people as an obstacle to be overcome as his bolsters his jerkass cred in the hermetic community of the Ark.

Wells is blamed for everything and praised for little. The would be assassin promises anarchy and has a propensity for being stupid. Finn is disingenuous, Clarke chugs river water and I eagerly await her getting Weil’s disease. They see footprints and ignore them. ‘Avatar’ and ‘Lord of the Flies’ are ripped off and despite the acutely annoying teenagers this has promise. Especially when twit teen Japer gets killed proving not all the people on Earth died 97 years ago. This was okay and the 100 of the title are down several members by the time the end credits role. Yay!

Best Lines:
“One station formed from the many.”

“What was that?”
“That was the atmosphere.”

“I do hate you!”

“There’s a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal.”

“Should I care?”

“That is so not game.”

“Hiding behind the law absolves you of nothing.”

“Can’t afford mercy.”

“I’ll deal with you later.”

“We’re not alone.”

Hannibal thinks his abuse and gaslighting of the morose and unfriendly Will has turned him into someone actively seeking to murder as Dadaist performance art. The smug Hannibal mutters linguistic trash in his incomprehensible accent. Will has not only killed someone but engages in corpse desecration. Will is Hannibal’s favourite toy. Freddie is a pariah. Everyone cares about Abigail’s fate. Why? She was an annoying, lying twit. Hannibal stirs up Margot’s traumatic grievances. Mason Verger is far too seedy and has no point of any merit whatsoever as he trains pigs to eat people.

Hannibal shags Alana; Will shags Margot and Freddie points out the obvious to Alana who will not listen. This tries very hard but might as well be a Heineken ad for all its emotional integrity. Mason makes an entrepot into Hannibal’s life. Alana continues on her lazy way. Freddie pokes around Will’s barn prompting him to come after her with a tire iron. Will and Hannibal eat long pig. This was not substantive and of no evidential value.

Best Lines:
“This is the nightmare that followed him out of his dreams.”

“Neither of you is the killer she’s writing about but together you might be.”

“The meat is bitter about being dead.”

“This meat is not pork.”
“It’s long pig.”

Don’t You Feel Me
Warlow saves Sookie and she continues being simulacra of what she was. Pam and Eric add to their inventory of bad habits. Bill is disingenuous as he denies and distorts. Jason is a bastion of banal. Sam is made to see the irregularities of his acts. The obviously insincere babbling Warlow and Sookie hang out. Sookie is detrimental to her own well-being. The stupid vamp fangs are flashed. The Governor prances. Hepatitis V shows up again. Eric grunts and is incensed with his own hypocrisy. Bill has no contrition and murders.

The Lilith storyline has the stench of boredom as she is dismissive of her kin and gives evil counsel. Stupid Emma is sent away. Arlene suffers a loss. Willa is stupid and murderous. Sam is a moronic termagant. This episode caused discontentment. Jessica bores and whines. There is a plan to kill all the wretched vampires and Sookie shags Warlow.

Best Lines:
“If you don’t want to hurt me, why don’t you just not?”

“They call me a danger whore.”

The Contingency
Finch has been kidnapped by Root. Reese growls like he is in discomfort. Carter annoys. Reese lurks in shadows and has to save an annoying idiot thief (Ken Leung of ‘Lost’ and ‘Saw’) who has only one real enemy - himself. Flashbacks to 2002 show Finch training the machine. Reese gets a dog. Root talks endlessly and this was farcical.

Best Lines:
“It’s a sex thing; you got a problem with that?”

“She’ll be just fine. In a month or two.”

“Very dead.”

Bad Code
Carter and Reese go to Texas to look into a missing child case from 1991 that has a connection to Root. The histrionic Root bores. Finch does stoic suffering. Reese throws rednecks around. Weeks (Cotter Smith) is tormented by Root and continues to be consistently evil. Reese and Carter uncover Root’s origin as an old sin is revealed. Reese waves a crossbow. A heavy lurks. Root wants the machine and Margo Martindale of ‘The Americans’ pops up as a librarian who refused to see the obvious. This was mediocre.

Best Line:
“Your knuckle dragging friend.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Only Ever You

Only Ever Yours by Louise O’Neill
This is an excellent bleak look at an ugly contemptible future. 16 year old chronically insecure and unlikebale freida and isabel have been best friends during their time at the School where they have been bred and trained to please the men of their Zone as either companions or concubines. In this damaged desolate future only genetically modified women exist and they have only one purpose: pleasing men.

They have no rights; they are illiterate, are beauty obsessed and encouraged to have eating disorders. Their ‘School’ teaches them nothing except not to cry, to accept violence, to pole dance and to frantically tear each other down in the contest to be chosen as a companion instead of a concubine. If they become companions they must bear sons and then they will be killed at the age of 40 for being too old and if they become concubines they will be violated for men’s pleasure for the rest of their lives.

There is no solidarity among the aggregation of girls and no hope, frieda fights for a future but she doesn’t have one and it seems this version of humanity doesn’t have one either. This is a gripping, dark tale of a too-plausible repugnant future.

Best Lines:
“You must always be willing.”

“It’s not like we can say no.”

“We must be inspected for flaws before purchase.”

“Do you swear to devote your lives to the physical gratification of the good men of the Euro-Zone?”
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