July 8th, 2014

Scary Books

Common (2014) Reviewed

This BBC1 one off tirade/drama lambasting Joint Enterprise is typical BBC social engineering from Jimmy McGovern of ‘Brookside‘, ‘Cracker‘, ‘The Street‘ and ‘Accused‘. 17 year old Johnjo the slight ‘hero’ has vexatious, coarse, exuberantly vicious friends. He drives them to a pizza parlour where they plan a fight, Johnjo is too dumb to realise this. Johnjo doesn’t ponder the implications until an innocent bystander is stabbed to death by a pint size macerating provocateur and the police are involved. Margaret (Susan Lynch) the mother of the murdered Thomas has sad regrets yet the BBC liberals want us to feel sorry for the fat, dirty, thuggish and triumpalist yobbos as sentimental dirges play on the soundtrack. This is asymptotic of galling BBC left wing cudgelling.

Johnjo is harassed, maligned, isolated and abandoned. The war for the narrative ignores the fact that he was the getaway driver and deserves the denunciation. Also why was he friends with such ghastly ne’er-do-wells? He also calls the victim “a little bastard” and whines and is gratuitously stupid when he is not being muted. Johnjo is content is stand idly by and is seemingly devoid of conscience or feelings about the deleterious consequences.

Johnjo’s brother Patrick has revulsion for him, the fatally confused Johnjo just blinks, Thomas father (who looks like Danny Dyer) regrets abandoning his wife and children to run off with his fancy piece years ago but Margaret doesn’t want to know. Johnjo’s dad has no due regard and his mother points out empirical realities that her purblind hubby and son won‘t listen to. Margaret has incomprehension can’t afford to bury her son. A darkly indefatigable copper investigates the murder. Johnjo gives inaccurate and unhelpful information and has moral panic about “grassing”.

Johnjo’s mother screams and has vague disappointment. Johnjo never develops any insight and is so intrinsically stupid it’s laughable, also he’s a haemophilic. If the credulity and resentful false friendship weren’t enough, that is just OTT.  The trial begins and we’re supposed to feel sorry for the scumbags getting done for murder. Johnjo is oblivious as his barrister drones on an author tract about draconian application of law, inchoate fears, folk devils, social repression, stigmatisation and the validity of natural justice. Nobody has any rules, boundaries or remorse. No-one accepts any responsibility.

Despite the liberal whining, TPTB revelling in their rants and moronic oddly emotionless wet ‘hero’, this keeps one rapt. Thomas’ dad regrets his egomania, boundless vanity and ignominious spornosexual abandonment of his first family. There is yelling as the group prove they are scum and Johnjo is still a tosser who pays scant attention as his life implodes. His family have no mortification as they are still smitten with Johnjo seeing him as sweetness and light. Inevitably bad things happen to the shambolic characters and TPTB rant that Joint Enterprise is a bad historically produced social object and want this as a widespread assertion. Johnjo is not an inoffensive nicey-nice type, he diminishes what he’s done and justifies it. The barrister tries to disabuse the stupidity, no go. I hate these characters with a passion. Johnjo has no emotional depths and does not care about Margaret’s distress. In fact McGovern makes Margaret feel bad for Johnjo and his turbulent life. You can’t look away from this liberal creed, it’s so ranty and shouty.

Best Lines:
“He’s only gone and stabbed someone hadn’t he?”

“He was looking at me right!”

“If you grass, then you’re dead!”

“Working class scum!”

“Don’t you dare cry!”

“We’re not going to be able to live round here.”

“There’s nothing to get off with! He’s innocent!”

“Cos you all get done for murder. If you were there, egging him on, backing him up, helping in any way, a phone call, a knowing look even, you get done for murder.”

“You stupid mad bastard!”

“Would you like us to sit somewhere else?”

“You stabbed somebody you knob!”

“You’ll be doing life with the nonces!”

“He’s done even less.”

“Stinking arse grass! Eyes in the back of your head! That’s what you’re gonna need!”

“He gave his away for nothing.”

“Lack of parental guidance.”
Scary Books

Movie Reviews: A Single Man + Young Einstein

A Single Man (2009)
Tom Ford directed this movie that looks like a perfume commercial. An uptight teacher named George (Colin Firth) mourns the forced departure of his lover (Matthew Goode of ‘Watchmen’) whilst hiding his wrenching grief and membership of a cloistered subculture in 1960s America. He chats with a student (Nicholas Hoult) and has a friend Charley (Julianne Moore) who wants him to be her posh totty. Various people walk around acting like their soda is too cold and their teeth hurt. George plans suicide and talks like he’s a raving derelict. Everyone in this film needed to shut up. There were lewd intentions, sexism, Lee Pace and perving over younger men.

Best Lines:
“Raise coke drinking, TV watching children who as soon as they can speak chant TV jingles and smash things with hammers.”

“The dumbest creatures are always the happiest. Just look at your mother.”

“Why don’t you go home and stop shooting people?”

“If I stood on my head, I’d be a natural brunette.”

“Living in the past is my future.”

Young Einstein (1988)
Written and directed by Yahoo Serious. This Oz comedy set in 1906 tells of how Albert Einstein (Serious) was actually a Tasmania apple farmer. All those apples prompt him to become a self taught physicist as he puts bubbles into beer by splitting the atom. He heads off to mainland to patent this idea and meets Marie Curie (who stumbles over her lines). This starts out very funny but as soon as he gets to the mainland, it stumbles. An evil toff steals his idea. Albert then invents rock and roll music and surfing. He is also thrown out of a lot of buildings and invents the theory of relativity. This is subdued and only notionally amusing as the over-polite Albert is an intellectual scrapper. Freud and Darwin lurk. There are a lot of irritating songs on the soundtrack and Albert finally triumphs in exhilaratingly dull fashion.

Best Lines:
“What is beer dad?”

“There’s a bushman in my carriage!”

“That’s an affront to commonsense!”

“Where have you been?”
“Mental institution.”
Scary Books

Book Review: Eat My Heart Out

Eat My Heart Out by Zoe Pilger
Ann-Marie is a heartbroken, skint, ironically detached, unloved moron without a whiff of intelligence. Instead she is all ridicule, decadence and contrived hipster opportunism with a disproportionate view of herself as she staggers around London. She meets opinionated author Stephanie Haight who sees a chance to do a cathartic experiment to ‘save’ Ann-Marie. Inbetween being ‘saved’ Ann-Marie sets out to find love with determinism but no taste. This is a hilarious, good satire of a hedonistic narcissist.

Best Lines:
“What’s interesting about self-regarding hipsters with nothing to say?”

“Don’t look at me when I’m talking to you,”

“I didn’t really study anything because I was always drunk or high.”

“I saw that she was in fact dressed as a flamingo, albeit a highly pornographic one.”

“The chanting assumed the intensity of a fascist rally.”

“I want a lot of ice in the glass and I want the glass to be very big.”

“I accidentally gave myself a hysterectomy.”

“It’s like absence as presence.”

“I had received numerous notifications that I was late, behind, wrong, bad, or just inadequate.”
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Scary Books

The Green Hornet #13 Reviewed

The final issue in the current storyline. Axford is on the Green Hornet task force. A new psycho pops up and is dealt with. The Green Hornet is described as inhuman scum and presumed dead. But someone close to Britt Reid has come up with a cunning plan. There is a Frank Scanlan mention and a unexpected twist. Britt and Kato resume their crime fighting careers. This was good, bleak and with the promise of more to come.

Best Lines:
“Anybody can wear a mask, Mike.”

“He means the whore-houses.”

“We always end up working for psychos.”

“Stop laughing.”

“You don’t have a right to be done, rich boy. You can’t quit because the consequences are too much for you -- because the consequences of everything the Hornet has done never go away.”

“Own what you’ve done.”

“If you quit now, what was it all for?”

“Let’s roll Kato.”

Trailer, Quotes and Stuff

‘Doctor Who’ promo
A dark Doctor is promised, the BBC always puts an adjective in front of his name and never a good one.

I was going to read the comics ’The Blood Queen’ and ’Doctor Spektor: Master of the Occult’. But my store apparently choose not to stock them.

I’d like to see Martin Freeman as Richard III.

Milk Chocolate with Sicilian Sea Salt = yum.

I am reading ‘Only Ever Yours’.

WTF is ‘CSI: Cyber'?

‘Animal Rescue’ Quote:
“Like hell!”

The Simpsons’ Quotes:
“It’s medicine doctors give moms in order to keep babies up in heaven.”

“I smell fear.”

“Help me Jesus!”

“Put your money on the guy with the gun!”

“You fat ass!”

“The Diversity Kittens!”

“Do not give him any more love!”

“Snow, God’s cotton candy!”

‘Only Ever Yours’ Quotes:
“Personality does NOT matter. All that matters is being pretty.”

“She knows we are not allowed to cry.”

“As a reward for her good behaviour, her husband has been offered a free ‘companion vaginal re-design’.”

“Fat girls must be made obsolete.”

“He could hit me any day he wanted.”

“We were in 4th year, learning to change nappies on our training dolls in Little Mama classes.”

“The very men for whom you were created.”

“They got rid of anything we would not need, like animals, and organized religion.”

“Who would want you until you could be of some use?”

“I’d let him beat me any day.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“She wouldn’t leave me alone, so I felt I had to strangle her.”

“Talking down, disrespecting me.”

“You punched your son.”

“Yes but, yes.”

“Are you contributing to their misery?”

“The flaws in your logic.”

“So you wanted somebody to respect you, so you thought you would act disrespectfully?”

“Ridiculous melodrama.”

“Are you a good steward of their personal truth?”

“Anybody who would hook their star to our wagon right now, is a loser!”

“Who the hell is she rejecting?”

“Is she married?”

“Can this family be fixed? It depends on how you define fixed.”