July 1st, 2014

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Silicon Valley’ promo
Two nerds have an idea. Yawn.

Best Line:
“Jobs was a poser.”

‘Under The Dome’ season 2 promo

I will review ‘A Single Man’, ‘Sanctum’, ‘Common’ and ‘Deadline’.

I hope ‘Continuum’ gets a 4th season.

Flat peaches = okay.
Spiced Chilli choc = okay.

‘The King’s Speech’ Quotes:
“Old bugger’s doing this on purpose.”
“Departing prematurely to complicate matters with Wallis.”

“You’re bloody well paid to listen.”
“Bertie, I’m not a Geisha girl.”

“Oh bugger off.”
“Is that the best you can do?”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I immediately thought she’s a whore.”

“I believe there’s an evil spirit within her.”

“You called her the spawn of satan.”

“Your son needed to get satan out of the house.”

“You rebuke her?”

“Your son is living with a demonic force?”

‘Deeper’ Quotes:
“Yeah. I think that’s called erosion.”

Book Reviews: If Looks Could Kill + Jailbird + The Changeling Plague

Who Killed Peggy Sue
#3 If Looks Could Kill created by Eileen Goudge
Lacey eats lobster salad for lunch as the inept investigation into April’s murder continues. The stupid Hope marshals her resources to uncover the truth. Vaughn has serious anger management issues which Lacey and Raven think is romantic. Lacey is a Madonna fan, T.J. The D.J shames Calvin Pinkerton and the Pinkerton clan hate each other. Spike is accused of killing April, Hope cries and April’s awful parents up their awfulness. Lacey’s vile father Calvin gives her a black eye and she makes excuses for him. Willa Flicker has no ethics. Accusations are flung and bandied about. An arrest is made. This 1991 book is a melisma of crap as the obvious killer is overlooked.

Best Lines:
“You think that Vaughn’s-”
“A maniac killer,”

“What about the ozone layer and the animals?”

“She’s more popular dead than alive.”

“He’s got a seriously bad temper. He’s always beating people up when he’s ticked off at something.”

“Just because Raven’s not in school today doesn’t mean we have to put her in her grave and bury her already,”

“Everyone can’t be a psychopath.”

“Miserable life. A miserable life in a miserable place.”

“I’ll get you for this, Flicker.”

“I hate this whole damn town.”

Who Killed Peggy Sue
#4 Jailbird created by Eileen Gouge
I think different people wrote these books. Books 1&2 were good but Books 3&4 are terrible. In this final novel Lacey acts like a fool as Kiki is crowned the Peach Blossom Queen. Spike’s locked up and Kiki is suddenly in love with him. Raven takes a bribe from Calvin Pinkerton and Lacey plots against Kiki. Vaughn’s brother Lars shows up. Vaughn shames Raven. The killer is caught in stupid fashion, the Peach Blossom Festival is held and the ending is ridiculous. The scrublands are saved for a rare owl and it is mentioned in throwaway fashion that Hope wanted to create voice interactive software. This was stupid and had no emotional contagion. Books 1&2 were good, but the revelation and arrest of the killer is so silly, even for 1991.

Best Lines:
“They wouldn’t do something as tacky as murder.”

“You let Kiki De Santis beat you. Kiki De Santis!”

“Darla had practically passed out on the couch before nine o’clock. As usual, she was hopelessly drunk.”

The Changeling Plague by Syne Mitchell
This 2003 novel is a cyber punk mess about a hacker named Idaho who lives on the net, a company called Caduceus and a rich man named Geoffrey who buys a cure for his cystic fibrous and in doing so unleashes a plague. Idaho exploits the plague to create a transhuman future. This is a silly error strewn sci-fi tale about hackers who want to be furries or something. This view of the future contains such gems as: net runners, Boeing 847s, palmtops, latex skirts, wall screens, a hacker website called HackThePlanet, VR equipment, implanted microchips, space stations, everyone is DNA finger printed at birth and some websites actually contain three dimensional animations!!!

Best Lines:
“Geoffrey Allen, the infamous ‘patient zero’?”

“We must stop this virus. Or it will stop us.”

“Hospitals are just holding sites for the dying.”
Scary Books

Movie Review: Veronica Guerin (2003)

A biopic of the Irish journalist who exposed the cornucopia of drugs and dirty money and was assassinated for it. This was bland, sparse, of limited dramatic range and not eloquent, honest, touching, dangerous or blissfully cruel. Sure corruption, excess and infinitely vile narcissistic pathological liars are exposed as inane drivel is uttered. But Guerin really only succeeded in enraging criminals, storing up trouble for herself and alienating bad bad people who killed her for it. The epilogue is full of sap and is factually inaccurate and out of date, nothing changed.

Best Lines:
“Can you tell me how this Ballyfermot lowlife has £300,000 to launder in an Amsterdam casino?”

“Stop this. Write about fashion.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Star-Crossed 1x13 + In The Flesh 2x04 & 2x05 & 2x06 Reviewed

Passion Lends Them Power
The final ever ep but the plot movement in this yoofish mess has been so gradual that this show seldom inspired interest. Roman whispers, Emery is insipid and Drake and Taylor are clueless about their baby. The plot is grim and threadbare. Terri is on the revolving door of evil and good. Boredom is induced; no-one really cares about Grayson.

‘V’ and ‘Alien Nation’ are ripped off. Terri cries and ridiculous dialogue is uttered in this fathomlessly miserable mess of a show. Roman plays the vulnerable, despised and loathed woobie card so Emery will do it with him on the floor of a shed. The Trags are everywhere as they plot in tiny dark hovels. Roman has no dignity as it becomes clear his vaunted father kept a lot to himself. Gloria shames Taylor into keeping her unborn child. Emery is ever effusive and ebullient. There is bad acting and exposition.

Roman meets his hybrid half-brother. Emery is menaced. Grayson is totemic and gets shot. Zoë (who looks like she has hepatitis b) shows up to annoy and wipe out humans. The Trags don’t retract their behaviour. Everyone is stupid. Most of the male cast look like they’ve just been released from prison. Roman screws up. The ‘bomb’ turns out to be a signal beacon to a huge Atrian war fleet. The final scene proves that the evil all along Atrains deserved the systematic and prolonged campaign of intimidation and vilification. This was dull, the characters are all doomed.

Best Lines:
“I downloaded a Geiger counter app.”

“You’re the embodiment of everything that’s wrong with the human race.”

“Your little baby is an abomination.”

“This machine that looks like a vacuum cleaner but could bring an end to humanity or something.”

“Yay you.”

Philip has boring pervy thoughts about Amy. Henry’s annoying mother obsesses over her missing son. The odious Simon lectures and manipulates and wants to find the First Risen. Maxine Martin stipulates. Amy gets more annoying and won’t shut up. Simon does his emulation of emotion. Philip’s wig-gasms with PDS hos comes out after he can’t countenance any more of Maxine Martin’s actions.

Jem’s ridiculous sudden onset PDS accelerates. Amy has symptoms of something in-between shouting all her lines. It is never explained how the medication stops them rotting. Simon and Kieren make out some more, why? The plots are all over the place and detract from enjoyment. Simon’s ULA minions cause a rabid attack. Kieren turns into an ass due to the aggregating Simon. Why are we supposed to feel sorry for zombies who have no remorse or shame about killing and eating people? This was crap.

Best Lines:
“You’re so adept.”

“Rotter knocking shop.”

“I’ll tell what you do! I’ll tell everyone!”

“Are we like everyone else now?”

“I’m not a metaphor Brian.”

“With nothing but an electric toothbrush to defend myself with.”

Simon thinks Kieren is the First Risen and is told to kill him to trigger the second Rising. So we get a load of unwanted and unneeded Simon flashbacks about the conniving and pestering plot blight. Who cares about Simon? Kieren continues to act like a jerk, there is a massive disparity between his personality in series 1 and series 2 and he‘s alienated his family, again. The PDS continue to take their religion from the Undead Prophet and they think their condition bestows something special on them. Nothing modifies Amy’s behaviour. Why did TPTB turn the touching drama of series 1 into a crappy sub par soap opera in series 2? Simon’s formative flashbacks reveal he ate his mother and his father rejected him. Oh boo hoo. He doesn’t feel shame. He and Kieren are both selfish idiots. I suspect TPTB are trying to make Simon the new main character. This was crap. Who is the Undead Prophet?

Best Lines:
“We are the community and we have deemed you a threat to it.”

Saw that plot twist a mile off.”

“You rotten evil hag!”

There is no word on a 3rd series; even if it got one I’d skip it. But I hope this is axed like ‘Splash’. Kieren’s locked in his room for being a jackass. Amy is noxious and becoming human. Simon continues to spew his ULA crap. Dr Russo (Paul Warrier) is not what people think. Two government types lurk. Simon’s ULA mob plans a terrorist attack during the Beating of The Bounds march. Kieren lies and lies. Gary has depths and decides to put Kieren in his place. Nobody notices wanted ULA fugitive Simon walking around the village. The ULA scum scream about the second Rising and plan to attack. Kieren is dosed with Blue Oblivion. Maxine Martin’s plan is revealed as she rants. The PDS should all die, yet they get away with their crap and plan more crap. Kieren keeps causing trouble as he too becomes human. Government agents dig up a grave at the end. This was crap, I didn’t care. Series 1 was good but series 2 was camp crap.

Best Lines:
“What’s she doing with that toffee apple?”
“Eating it.”

“No living allowed on sacred ground.”

“Pulse beating scum.”

“Time to wake up little brother.”

“You are the First and the last.”