June 26th, 2014

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘Jug Face: The Pit’ trailer
Rednecks engage in human sacrifice. Looks interesting.

Best Lines:
“The pit has spoken.”

“Before you shame all of us.”

“What did you do?”

“Whose blood is that?”

“The pit wants what it wants.”

‘Muir House’ trailer
An Australian haunted house is investigated by an Australian type who hears bangs and whimpers at flocked wallpaper and ugly net curtains. Why do ghosts like to rearrange furniture? What is with all the yelling?

‘In The Flesh’ 1x03 promo

Spanish hazelnut choc = yum!

I am reading ‘Graduation Day’.

‘The King’s Speech’ Quotes:
“When I’m dead that boy will ruin himself, this family and this nation within 12 months”

“I’ve been terribly busy.”
“Doing what?”

“You put that woman in our mother’s suite!”

‘The New Statesman’ Quotes:
“The pathetic little urban yob you really are.”

“You can’t marry that.”

“Get out of the way you bloody yokels!”

“Nasty little spiv.”

“Rich beyond the dreams of Joan Collin.”

“Get off!”

“Let’s do it on the table.”

“I’ve been more turned on leaning against the tumble dryer.”

“You smug bitch.”

“Where do you pick up these loutish expressions?”

“Big, strong, sweaty, tattooed farm labourers who can do it for hours on end.”

“That’s a very vulgar watch.”

“Two dozen portions of poached semolina and the five gallons of botulism sorbet which seems to have gone down so well and now seems to be coming up with similar ease.”

“Those of you who manage to recover will remember this.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Book Review: One Constant Star

Star Trek The Lost Era: One Constant Star by David R. George III
The author of the previous excellent 2003 ‘Lost Era’ novel ‘Serpents Among The Ruins’ once again revisits Demora Sulu and John Hariman, this time in 2319. Sadly this novel is deplorable, draconian and boring. Demora Sulu goes to a deserted planet and the crux of the novel is the weird stuff that goes on there. Did George III write this novel voluntarily? If not, is this gloop a protest against the Trek PTB? This book was extraordinarily ill-advised and lacks structure, character and the Aristotelian unites. I hope the upcoming ‘The Light Fantastic’, ‘Second Nature’, ‘Point of Divergence’ and ‘Acts of Contrition’ are better.

Best Lines:
“I’d be fascinated to see what a Tholian movie even looks like.”

“Demora and two of her crew were unintentionally thrown onto an unpopulated, undeveloped planet in another universe.”

“Where are we?”
“Not where we were,”

Retro Review: Jekyll (2007)

Before 'Sherlock' there was this sleek, stylish, creepy, slightly camp BBC1 updating/sequel to ‘Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Episode 1
Dr Tom Jackman’s (James Nesbitt) dark side has an agenda of his own, a love of Disney songs and uses the name Hyde. Jackman tries to protect his family by abandoning them, hiring Katherine a psychiatric nurse and communicating with his alter ego via Dictaphone. Meanwhile people are following Hyde, Jackman learns he may be a descendent of Dr Jekyll and Hyde throws a bad guy through a window. Okay.

Best Line:
“Just once, just bloody once could you tell me where you parked?”

Episode 2
Jackman is unaware his ‘best friend’ Syme is part of the giant bad guy conspiracy. Syme and the baddie coterie set Jackman up by threatening his children. Jackman isn’t a violent man but he knows someone who is, so he becomes Hyde at will. Creepy retaliatory violence is meted out. This was okay.

Episode 3
Claire Jackman comes face to face with Hyde and learns all about her husband’s extreme form of DID. Syme sets Jackman up to be captured. Good.

Episode 4
Claire is a prisoner of Syme, Jackman is locked in a box and Katherine and her PI friends learn that their theory that Jackman is a clone of Jekyll is dead wrong. Flashbacks show how the tremendous nerd Jackman and the oversexed Claire met. They also show Hyde’s first emergence after a hoodie tormented the couple on their honeymoon. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“So what do you do?”
“Rich men.”

Episode 5
When the box is opened, Hyde emerges and prances around spewing exposition about genetic memory. Syme is smug until Jackman remerges. It seems Jackman and Hyde have come at last to peace. Good.

Best Line:
“It’s like Sky Plus in here!”

Episode 6
Jackman and Hyde go to rescue Claire and the children. Claire learns what Hyde really is and what she really is. Jackman’s mother drops several bombshells. Jackman and Claire’s twin sons turn out to have their own Jekyll and Hyde issues. This was good with a WTF final scene and a hilarious teaser scene as Syme hires a bad ass super macho mercenary to capture Hyde, the mercenary trains a bad ass super macho team and then said bad ass super macho mercenary walks up to Hyde only to be thrown off the roof in hilarious fashion.
Scary Books

In The Flesh 1x02 + True Blood 6x04 + Hannibal 2x08 Reviewed

Jem is ever more hostile to Kieren. Nobody mentions Kieren’s suicide. There is a ceremony to honour the victims of the Rising. Kieren’s friend Rick who was killed in Afghanistan but came back as a zombie arrives home and his father is HVF leader Bill. Kieren goes for a walk and learns graveyards are now quarantine zones and encounters fellow zombie and manic pixie dream girl Amy. It is still not clear how or why the Rising happened. It’s grim up north and gets grimmer as Kieren remembers crawling out of his grave.

Amy has no remorse for eating people. Kieren learns the identity of a HVF member he ate during the Rising. This is better than ‘The Walking Dead’. Bill and Rick are in denial about Rick’s state. Rick drinks alcohol and then vomits it up as black bile. Jem waves a handgun but is thrown out of the HVF because of Kieren. Zombie bites don’t make you a zombie. Kieren was an outcast before he became a zombie. Rabid rotters are encountered in the woods. Amy is nasty. Kieren apparently got into art school which is bizarre as the ‘art’ hanging on his parents walls is awful. Kieren and Rick talk and yell and various truths are revealed. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“What is every living person afraid of?”

“Not accepted.”

“Your grot mags are still intact.”

“Freaked a few grannies out.”

“Tried eating a Mars bar a couple of days ago. Had to throw away my knickers and my skirt.”

“I’ve seen a rotter.”

“Huge vagina hounds.”

“I’m banned for life.”

“By not being here, he’s offending me.”

At Last
People finally realise that Ben is Warlow. Apparently only he can kill Lilith and he‘s in love with Sookie. Nora annoys and is hauled off by the LAVTF. Fairy godfather is a crazy lonely nut job and Warlow sends him far far away. Werewolves are aggressors as Emma is deemed important. Eric and Pam are jerks. Terry bores. Andy’s quads grow again and are stalked by Bill and Jessica. This show isn’t immersive and is problematic in many ways. Jason’s plotline bores as always as his contingency plot goes awry. The Governor’s daughter plotline is as reparative as ever as Eric turns her into a vampire. There is no salient point to this show. Bill issues missives, Eric is scum and the Governor is not impressed by his transformed platitude spouting daughter. This ep is dull in perpetuity as Jessica attacks and seemingly kills Andy’s daughters during a rager. The expectant Sookie gets it on with Warlow. This was so BORING!

Best Lines:
“A fairy vampire?”

“A vampire who walks in daylight.”

“That’s the devil talking.”

“He’s creepy. We’re going.”

Jack hasn’t apologised for shooting Will and he has got no apology from the FBI either. Hannibal gets profound about trout. Will gets profound about baiting Hannibal. Is Chilton dead? Another gross killer shows up, why are there so many nutters living contemporaneously in Virgina? Only one of Will’s former FBI colleagues apologises for the way Will was treated. Margot Verger comes to Hannibal for help; she’s agitated about her awful brother Mason.

Alana reprises her whining, oh shut up Alana. There is corpse defilement and Will does his staring and Evil Tastes Good act. Where is Miriam Lass? I’m denuded of interest as everyone acts like the Chilton thing didn’t just happen. A brain damaged man is harassed by his serial killing social worker. But the brain damaged man strikes back at the vile creep. Will plans a wanton merciless response on someone. Hannibal tries to constantly bait Will into contentious topics. Yawn.

Best Lines:
“Mad dogs are put down.”

“A coffin birth.”

“You nearly destroyed me.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Doing bad things to bad people makes you feel good.”

“It’s fine to be weird.”

“You saw what he really is.”

“I know what it’s like to point at a killer and have no-one listen.”

“I’m alone in that darkness.”
“You’re not alone Will, I’m standing right beside you.”

“I envy you your hate.”

“I’m the victim here.”