Streets Of Fire
Laurel and Oliver are going to hook up again aren’t they? Laurel sums up the obvious. Oliver has less than latent fascist sympathies. Felicity hits Isabel with a van. Quentin gets some fortuitous grenades. Laurel gets to fire Oliver’s hybrid compound bow, Tommy never got to do that. Blood’s ill-defined plan falls apart. TPTB enable Felicity’s laughable behaviour. Things escalate. Malcolm Merlyn (John Barrowman) shows up for no clear reason. There’s no Sin. Sara suddenly shows up to don her ratty wig again.
Oliver’s Laurel obsession needles. Quentin is a detective again and running the cop shop. Malcolm looks like he’s been living underneath a bridge in Detroit lost in a sea of cider cans and the stench of urine. Thea berates him amidst the emotional chaos. Malcolm is not exactly prostrate with grief over Tommy. Thea may have shot her daddy dead. Blood is the least assertive villain ever.
This episode was about as substantial as latte art, this had no credibility and was enfeebled. Sara whines about brutalisation. Oliver has a moral obligation to fix things seeing as it is his entire fault. I’m miffed at how crap this is. Slade circumvents obstacles. Despite TPTB’s insentience, Felicity has no sweetness. Her only contribution to this ep is to scream and earn unmerited screen time. Starling city is a dying entity; also the moody looking cur Roy is still comatose.
Blood is a gigantic moron and earns an arbitrary death. Diggle needs to go away. Things get militaristic as ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ is ripped off. Roy is ‘cured’, there is Windows product placement and Amanda Waller looks constipated. This was terrible and flashbacks showed Oliver’s latest calamitous decision and Sara’s whining and dithering.
“You’re not invincible.”
“I don’t need you right now. Everyone else does.”
“I also teach you to speak Russian.”
“They do not go down.”
“Your juiced up jack-boots.”
“I have failed this city.”
“If you tell anyone about my mask. I will tell them about yours.”
“And then Starling City is a crater.”
“I have to think about the people in every city.”
“I lost my name, my wife, Tommy.”
Gibson is despicable, rotten and deplorable as he manipulates his ex-wife Janice. Suzy and her poker straight hair and fickle whining annoy. The CIA director (Mark Valley) looms. Janice is a sloppy, ill-kempt embarrassment. Gibson’s multifarious plans annoy, he should have grave anxiety as an increasing number of people see though his weak and helpless act to realise he is behind the kidnapping. The hostages are teetering on the edge. Gibson is aggressive and frustrated. There is phone hacking. Suzy kidnaps the soldiers and a doctor from the hospital. The doctor is Jonas, a CIA plant. Suzy is synonymous with carelessness. A kidnapper is ridiculous and pervy. Suzy has an unwillingness to cooperate with Finely. The hostages are morons. This show’s underlying problem is that all the characters are jerks. Finley is a he-man. Meg is involved, yet Suzy keeps this quiet. Various hostages are angry, yelling and cracking up. Hearst the pseudo-disgraced secret service agent promulgates Gibson’s lies. This was ignoble.
“We are done with this.”
“They are not coming for them, they’re already here.”
“Don’t yo me.”
Maria Hill is a snot about people wanting answers about the corrupt SHIELD. May collars Maria. There are exposition dumps and no eloquence. Trip utters reprimands. Skye left a warning. Ward is affectionate to Skye, she sees through his pretence. Fitz is reactive. Coulson only cares about Skye. No-one is really surprised that Ward is HYDRA. Ward is suddenly vigorously stupid so TPTB can make Skye look good. Colonel Talbot (Adrian Pasdar) shows up. Coulson and Maria Hill are pushy and annoying. Fitz, Simmons and Trip piss people off. Skye abandons Ward, poor Ward so shifty and brainwashed.
Mike shows up, Garrett isn’t that loyal to anyone, Maria Hill needs to shut up, bloody Coulson keeps up the fake death scam for some bizarre reason and I’m sick of him and his personal vendetta. The stupid flying car features in a rip off of a scene from ‘Terminal Velocity’ and the CGI is bad. Any drama this ep ever had was undercut by the stupid flying car. Coulson’s gang hang out in a motel. Coulson learns who was behind TAHITI and that he and Skye will go crazy at some point. This was okay.
“Who or what is a Man-Thing?”
“Impostor homeless man.”
“We’ve had a wolf in the fold the whole time.”
“Ward did this.”
“Ward’s his secret weapon.”
“I vetted Ward.”
“I’m not a Nazi.”
“Yes you are.”
“The Red Skull, founder of Hydra, was a big fat freaking Nazi.”
“The cost is far too great.”
“I’m a survivor.”
“You are a serial killer.”
“Maybe they brainwashed him.”
“He is a murderer.”
“Yes he is. Are you?”
“Yeah, that’s not happening.”
“I never figured you for John Garrett’s lapdog.”
“New plan - run!”
“There is no SHIELD anymore.”
Berlin (no. 8) - conclusion
The season comes to a damp squib ending. The prisoner transport has crashed. Red’s arrested and then gets away, again. Liz’s embroiled in the mess she created. Alan (Alan Alda) lurks and one of the survivors of the plane crash is played by Peter Stormare. You know as soon as you see his name in the credits that he is Berlin, somehow it takes ages for Liz and co to cop on to that.
Meera dies, Red can’t convey straight talk, someone wanted Berlin but nobody asks who that was. Red menaces the Russian ambassador, Red has no resonance anymore. Berlin has a back-story that is a total ‘Usual Suspects’ rip-off. Cooper is dying. Ressler chokes out a guy and does contemptuous nostril-flaring. Red doesn’t know what he did to piss off Berlin. Liz can’t see all the monumental evidence that Red is her father. This was not intriguing or imaginative or pertinent. I hope this show recuperates in season 2. Tom shows up, Liz is a fool and can’t shoot. Red gets away with his crap. Berlin is the big bad for season 2. Tom isn’t dead and nobody noticed the burn wounds on Red? This was a non-event.
“You’re never going to go on trial.”
“Was she worth all this?”
“How do I know there was a Russian? Besides being able to smell him?”
“Me with this enchanting view.”
“I hope you’re killed in the attempt.”
“I don’t, people do.”
“Then I want you to take care of the ginger.”
“Who on God’s green earth are you?”
WTF is this? A Lars Von Trier movie? A man escapes the human mural coincidently just as the nutter drives up brandishing a rifle. Will’s locked up in a box as the enthusiastic Hannibal cheerleader Alana talks at him and Hannibal mumbles. Will acts deceptively. Hannibal’s shrink quits in deliberately studied fashion. The FBI transcends stupidity. Hannibal is a steadfast crap stirrer and corpse sniffer. Hannibal messed with Will’s head and Will can’t fix himself so he puts Beverly under obligation.
Jack is incensed, Beverly is strident and Will intensifies his attempts to prove he didn’t commit the murders attributed to him. Hannibal dons his murder suit, no one notices. Jack has no integrity and is preoccupied with Will’s assumed guilt. Hannibal sews the human mural maker into his own mural and then prepares, cooks and eats his leg in loving detail. Hannibal’s ex-shrink tries to alert Jack in the devil in plain sight. Jack doesn’t get the insinuation.
Will has freaky potent visions. The FBI investigator orders Will to plead guilty and threatens him with the death penalty as she is taunting, recklessly inaccurate and full of condescending contempt. Will wearily is durable. The credulous FBI just won’t listen. Hannibal’s ex-shrink visit Will and makes intimations but her mandate doesn’t include helping him. Hannibal shows up in his murder suit at her home to kill her, but finds himself at a disadvantage. This was unsatisfactory, it is not bravura just largely vague and the gore detracts. When will the odious Hannibal have accountability for his litany of crimes?
“I would look just as guilty as you.”
“What I glimpsed though the stitching of the person suit that you wear.”
“Please don’t come to my home again.”
“Maybe you deserve each other.”
“Select patients have taken to urinating on their therapists.”
“There’s not much in there I recognise.”