May 8th, 2014

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Two Faces of January’ TV spot
What?

‘Critical’ promo
This 2015 Sky1 drama looks um.

So ‘Gotham’ is a go?

I know of a nice Italian artisan bakery.

I like Cashel Blue cheese on Turnover bread. Yum.

There is a new Mediaeval Baebes cd. Mmmm.

I am reading ‘The Supernaturals’.

I have given up on ‘Prey’.

‘24: Live Another Day’ Quotes:
“Jack Bauer is a traitor and a psychopath.”

“You more than anyone know what they’re going to do to you down there.”

“Where in god’s name have you been?”
“Locked in a CIA blacksite.”

Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“A dangerous mix of booze and boys.”

“My stepdad being distant and inconvenienced.”

“A decade of bad decisions.”

“Let herself have a baby.”

“Where did you go so wrong?”

“You didn’t care for the last 10 years.”

“I don’t choose for you to know.”

‘The Supernaturals’ Quotes:
“I have been there, and I will never go back after my two minute stay.”

“That house in the mountains wants to be left alone.”

“Deer and other animals lying dead along a roadway that no one uses.”

“Their parents wouldn’t even tell me where they currently live.”

“Lindemann had vomited on a ten thousand dollar Persian rug runner, but freaked out over the chance of getting a cup ring on his table.”

“Something that, once in his head, may not want to leave.”

“In a near comatose state. I say near because every few hours he awakens and screams for a solid thirty minutes.”

“How in the hell would a draft close doors that were already locked and bolted?”

‘Meet The Amish’ Quote:
“Here there are no barns.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Lindsay gets away with her negligence. Diane and Freddie are on Lindsay’s side. This is indicative of the crap this show pulls. Sienna befriends Leela. Peri shows off internalised misogyny. The bailiffs harass Nana McQueen. Sonny is mischievous. Sinead cries and vows emphatic lingering vengeance on Lindsay. Grace misses Trevor and menaces set. Sinead claims to have HIV and learns Lindsay has Katy’s music box.
Scary Books

Star-Crossed 1x05 + Elementary 2x21 + Revenge 3x20 Reviewed

Dreamers Often Lie
The Trags plot, Roman wants to find out who his father was taking to on a phone and the Atrian 7 are let wander around town. Gloria acts to protect her hybrid child, Emery and Grayson date. She must have got over him being a Red Hawk in 1x04 which I missed. Emery is always filmed in an unflattering way. Grayson gets arrested thanks to his Red Hawk pals. Roman tries to seek out the Bayou dwelling Atrians. Characters mill around. The resentful Trags plot. Eric bores, Emery is unfazed at everything and the misguided Roman heads off to the Bayou in contravention of common sense. A mean girl turns out to be an Atrian in disguise, she and alien Rambo aka Drake plot their vile ethos. This show is so bad it is not worth getting angry about.

Lucas bores. There is some human/Atrian bonding. Drake takes his shirt off. Grayson and Emery visit a bad guy bar in which the pensive teens are menaced. Cypher is grown from the bodies of dead Atrians. Roman won’t stop talking and overlooks the obvious. The father of Gloria’s child is revealed. This ep was ravaged. Is this cancelled yet?

Best Lines:
“This is Louisianan. We’ve got rivers like every 10 feet.”

“Rookie meathead.”

“You’re lying again.”

“You’re even dumber than she is. I can’t wait for the day she and the rest of the humans are choking on Black Cypher.”

~
The Man With The Twisted Lip
Holmes hides away some heroin, Watson considers moving out and her meddling gets her abducted. Drones kill people. Holmes is resentful self important umbrage defined. Mycroft visits and Holmes thinks his brother is morally suspect. Gregson is a fruitless character. Holmes is inconsiderate. Watson is somehow not a man-repeller. Mycroft looks like he needs a wash. Dodgy types hang out at his restaurant. This show has deteriorated quite dramatically. Even with Mycoft this ep was inconsistent and shows up the show’s inadequacies.

Best Line:
“Drones is a very loaded term.”

~
Revolution
Conrad is repugnant. Victoria knows what Emily tried to do on the boat. Victoria and Pascal’s’ grand romance invokes only doom and bafflement. Nolan talks in painstakingly annoying fashion. Daniel and Margaux are elitism defined. Aiden and Emily grab Pascal and somehow the media tycoon falls for Emily’s laborious latest con. Charlotte is impervious to sense. Where did the Grayson's scads of haters go? What was the point of Stevie? Conrad is disruptive and pervasive. Jack is excluded. Charlotte is defensive. Emily’s reprisals make no strides and run into difficulties. Daniel is disingenuous. Emily’s scare mongering backfires.

Nolan wears an ugly suit to the Myclone launch. A nutter lurks. Javier’s launch of Myclone is a mass of technocratic inefficiency thanks to Nolan and his perverse intervention. Daniel dispenses with Javier. Emily has anxiety and doubt. Pascal exits the show. There is no unreserved pity for Margaux. Daniel has no sincerity left. Charlotte is inexplicably stupid. This was dull and full of ineptitude. Every choice Emily makes is disastrous.

Best Lines:
“Another sensation kicking around inside of me.”
“A burst appendix I hope.”

“David Clarke died in front of a 100 inmates.”

“Those are your ghosts Pascal not mine.”

“He’s taken my future away from me again.”

“The innocent are the first to fall.”
Scary Books

Movie Review: V For Vendetta (2006)

A significant ferocious and dark look at a future fascist Britain. Based on a classic graphic novel. It goes like this:

Evey: Where did you get all those knives? Are you a crazy person?
V: You are looking at me right?

High Chancellor Sutler: Find this V or I’ll vanish you like I did the London Eye. Note the casting gag in who is playing me.
Random Minion: Don’t look at me; I’m just here to fill up a spare chair.
Chief Inspector Finch: I’ll do your biding for despite my obvious misgivings with you and your policies I have risen high and go along with the consensus.

V: Rise up with me citizens in one year! Do as I say despite the fact I am deeply insane!

Evey: I am oddly aroused by the sight of you in your fetish vigilante outfit wearing a flowery apron and cooking me breakfast.
V: Monstrous things were done to me which I won’t mention at this point in the narrative.

Lewis Prothero: I am a fat evil pill popping bastard who spews propaganda on TV.
V: I will leave you dead in a pool of chunky vomit for your sins.
Lewis Prothero: Despite being a former military man, I will just lie here and die.

Finch: V! Larkhill detention centre! Prothero oversaw Larkhill! Perv Bishop murdered too! Tax records! Hunger strike! Riots!
Dominic: I love you and your sad face.
Creedy: Find and arrest V Mr Finch or I’ll get you. By the way your mother was Irish, na na na na!
Finch: I am angry. Also I never comb my hair.

Dr Surridge: V I am sorry for the torture and the medical experiments and the false imprisonment that drove you mad.
V: I kill you anyway.

Gordon: I’m a TV star! I mocked Sutler on TV. Nothing will happen to me because I’m famous.
Creedy: You’re dead fatboy.
Evey: Help!

Interrogator: Give up V or die behind the chemical sheds.
Evey: No.
Interrogator: Off you go then. BTW I’m V. I’ve been torturing and tormenting you for ages to brainwash you into becoming my successor.
Evey: You devious ornery monster! You cut my hair off!

V: Hello Mr Finch here is the back-story. Creedy and Sutler created a plague to carry out a false flag biological attack. Then came up with the cure at an auspicious moment. They now rule through fear and fascism.

Creedy: Sure V, I’ll make a deal with you to kill Sutler.

Finch: The fascists will do something stupid. People will rise up and later on Evey will be mine.
Dominic: I just wander out of the narrative here.

V: People are marching around in my Guy Fawkes mask. I’m off to blow stuff up.
Evey: I love you!

Creedy: Here’s Sutler who I’ve just shot in the head. Now V, you’re dead!
V: Here is where I kill you and your men in slow motion with my knife-fu as buckets of blood fly. Ideas are bullet-proof yo!
Evey: V, you’re bleeding.
V: I’ve just been shot several hundred times by Creedy’s minions, I hadn’t noticed.
Evey: V? You’re dead? No!!!!!!
Finch: I’m arresting you.
Evey: No you ain’t copper! I’m blowing stuff up! For hope like! Then after maybe I’ll do really filthy perverted sex filth to you.
Finch: Okay then.
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To Light The Way To Bed

Book Reviews: Children of Magic + Army of the Fantastic

Children of Magic edited by Martin H Greenberg and Kerrie Hughes
This 2006 anthology is average.

Touching Faith
A slow boy has a gift. Okay.

After School Special
Two obnoxious heiresses have magical gifts. This was meant to be funny.

Titan
Da Vinci made a deal for fame. Creepy.

The Winter of Discontent
A family are cursed by their gift of magic. Good.

Fever Waking
There is a price for magic. Okay.

Far From The Tree
A girl tries to help a friend. Subsequently it goes wrong. Good.

The Weight of Wishes
A young coupe lives in fear of their child’s magic. Okay.

The Trade
A prequel to a story from the ‘Villains Victorious’ anthology. A young boy in Renaissance Italy learns the art of necromancy. Very good.

Sahira
A sacrifice escapes. Okay.

~
Army of the Fantastic edited by John Marco and John Helfers
This 2007 anthology centres on magical battles.

Focke-Drache
In WW2, the Luftwaffe uses dragons. Good.

Brothers In Arms
Golems can’t stop fighting. Dark.

Unnatural
A magic war drags on until one side invents something. Good.

Blood In The Water
A country is threatened with being starved into surrender when their enemies black the shipping routes. But the besieged country fights back in unorthodox fashion. Excellent.

The Twain Shall Meet
Scientists punch a hole through to an alternate dimension planning strip mining and toxic dumps. But the inhabitants fight back against the intrusion. Good.

Dispatches From The Front
A weary war reporter covers an endless magical war. Holed up in a snow bound shack with broken desperate troops she becomes determined to do her part. Bleak and excellent.
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