May 1st, 2014


Book Reviews: Quintessence + ReVisions

Quintessence by David Walton
This alternate universe tale gives a misimpression of adventure. Instead we get a flagrant exercise in incompetence that is not plausible. In Tudor England, the Parris family get wrapped up in exploration and magic. Mrs Parris subjects her family to hostile scrutiny due to her egocentricity and narcissism. She is absolutist malignancy and the tale is nothing but frivolous inertia thanks to her aggression and the indelibly bad writing and the accumulation of moronic characters. This is an incredibly bad book with a lot of poor choices made by everyone. This book is not congruent with enjoyment.

Best Lines:
“You want to evangelize the manticores?”

“He’s not a good man.”
“But you brought him here.”

ReVisions edited by Julie E. Czerneda & Isaac Szpindel
This 2004 anthology is about alternate histories and is excellent.

The Resonance of Light
Nikola Tesla prevents WW1. Interesting.

Out of China
A cure is found for the Black Death in 1301 but there is a price to pay. Unnerving.

Site Fourteen
President Kennedy explored the oceans not the moon. Okay.

Silent Leonardo
Da Vinci made war and genocide into art forms. Chilling, creepy and good.

A Call From The Wild
The dog was never domesticated. Good.

The Terminal Solution
Dr Livingstone brought AIDS back to Victorian England and in a world without the concept of viruses or sterile procedures, it becomes a worldwide pandemic. Deeply unsettling.

The Ashbazu Effect
Sumerians invented the printing press. Interesting.

Swimming Upstream In The Wells of the Desert
The world or most of it anyway has adopted Cold Fusion. Good.

America banned the internet. Good.

When The Morning Stars Sang Together
A 20th century Jesuit faces the Inquisition for daring to question the sacred works of St Galileo. Unnerving.

Herd Mentality
The Nazis cloned Einstein. Creepy.
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Trailer, Quotes and a 2006 Tape Tale

‘Agents of SHIELD’ 1x20 promo
What will become of Grant? Maria Hill shows up. Coulson is abominable.

Reviews of ‘Arbella: England’s Lost Queen’ and ‘Summoning The Night’ forthcoming.

I am reading ‘Blood and Beauty’.

I am done with Patricia Briggs and her ‘Mercy Thompson’ saga.

RIP Bob Hoskins.

‘The Real Ghostbusters’ Quotes:
“Remember how she used to talk with that really annoying Brooklyn accent?”

“I just had a thought.”
“You had a thought?”
“Have a cookie.”
“It’s how they train seals Peter.”

“They’re all against you.”

“I wanted to be prettier so you’d noticed me and you never did!”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“I’m not an unfit mom.”

“You can’t get that small.”

“My community knows me.”

“Let me tell you how wrong that is.”

“Her choices in men are, according to him, questionable.”

“She broke her windshield with her bare foot.”

“You’re dating losers.”

“You’re moving losers into your house.”

“She is dating for dollars.”

“We do not bite.”

Vade In Pace (Go Into Peace)

Cleared out a 2006 tape. It began with a season 2 ‘Stargate Atlantis’ ep ‘Coup d’etat’ which featured the Genii. Weir obviously went to the no knowledge college and has no concept of ramifications. I have resentment at how TPTB wrecked this show by simplifying it into oblivion.

Then came an ‘Invasion’ ep ‘Origin of Species’ in which the Sherriff is uncommunicative. Dave is menaced by intrusive types. People talk and talk and talk. The whole alien substitution plot drags on intermittently. Russell needs a wash. The Sheriff allows his one armed deputy to be hauled off by a crappy CGI effect. Things get undesirable.

Best Line:
“I believe she was drowning.”

Then came a season 5 ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Solitude’ in which Clark pouts like the big dumb alien he is. Lois is inappropriate. Chloe doesn’t get the concept of factual and Professor Fine reveals he is evil. Jonathan Kent is a moron and Martha has an incurable cough of death. Nothing happens, this ep was not buoyant.

Finally there was another season 2 ‘Stargate Atlantis’ ep ‘Michael’ in which a man (Connor Trinneer) learns he is a transformed Wraith. The Atlantis gang come across as unprepared and the misappropriated Wraith develops an impregnable moral grandiosity. CD-Roms are used and this was not substantive. There is aggressiveness all around. Michael is nauseatingly offensive and would go on to become a boring recurring villain. I am extremely withdrawn from this show, the reverberations from this would drag on and on for the various inflammatory, expressionless twits. This ep was shrouded in meaninglessness and the salient fact was that this show was entrenched crap by the time this ep aired.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Patrick tells Darren and Nancy that Maxine a crazy abusive shrew. Despite Nancy seeing multiple amounts of evidence that Patrick is battering Maxine, she seems to believe him. Welcome to Hollyoaks Village, where a rape victim got turned into a pariah and sent to jail and now an abuse victim is blamed and shamed.

Best Line:
“I am not good enough.”
To Light The Way To Bed

Revenge 3x19 + Da Vinci’s Demons 1x07&1x08 Reviewed

Emily’s idiot wedding/fake murder plot has left her susceptible to defeat. Emily wears a huge hat and imperceptibly she is losing ground to Victoria. Javier and Charlotte contextualise their crapulence. Margaux wears foliage in her hair. Victoria’s extreme hostility ups the ante. Luke (Tim DeKay of ‘White Collar’) yet another former Grayson Global worker shows up. He is now a natural gas impresario. Emily compromises herself by taking him down. Margaux is indifferent and punitive to Jack. Javier is the vilest, baffling, straying, miniscule brained moron ever to draw breath. Despite her black coffee and grapefruit diet, Victoria has learned the you give it or you take it mantra. Pascal divulges stuff. Aiden and Nolan find a reporter and get him killed. Stuff about Aiden’s dead daddy is revealed. Javier is subject to coercion. Victoria and Daniel menace. Javier is derelict of intelligence. Pascal is a recurrent ass. Margaux is not full of sadness but Jack is. Nolan initiates war. Conrad is loathsome. This was okay but now Victoria is on to Emily.

Best Lines:
“Merely an enemy in disguise.”

“Screw the other guy.”

“He was certainly an easier sell than your father.”

“30 trials in 12 states.”

“The locals seem restless.”

“I control what the world hears.”

“Unresolved father issues.”

“Local nature-nuts.”

“None of this was chance. It was Emily.”

“It’s revenge. For David.”

The Hierophant
Wales continues to double for Renaissance Italy. Leonardo and his idiot friends have arrived in Rome to ransack the Vatican Secret archives. The Pazzis are in opposition to the Medicis. Leonardo is vexatious. Vanessa and Giuliano hook up. Leonardo does drugs and builds a diving suit. The Duke of Urbino and Rome are squalidly corrupt. Giuliano finds damning evidence. Leonardo is shameless. Cardinal Orsini (it’s the dude who played the title role in ‘Young Sherlock Holmes’) plots.

Sixtus IV shows Leonardo around the Vatican Secret Archives which contains the Ark of the Covenant, a dragon skull, kryptonite, Excalibur and the Spear of Destiny. Sixtus IV blabs about a Papal armada. Sixtus IV knows stuff somehow. Leonardo is blatantly stupid. Riario has an endless capacity for badness. Nico is futile. Leonardo pulls faces as he comes to some realisations very, very, very slowly. Hark! Leonardo is selfish and for some reason, they don’t kill Riario. Lucrezia needs to be held accountable for her acts, but the evil little tart gets away with things again. This was an unnecessary ep of an unnecessary show.

Best Lines:
“Feuds like that don’t just go away.”

“Your palace is a prison with better linens.”

“That family of fiends.”

The Lovers
Leonardo has no misapprehension about following an omen and takes umbrage at everything. There is slow-motion. The Turk pops up to yap. Lucrezia is proprietorcal about the moral high ground. Leonardo whines about manipulation and Ottomans. This ep was unwanted. Lorenzo doesn’t seem too upset over his missing brother. Leonardo finds an astrolabe in Cosimo Medici’s tomb. Vanessa is knocked up. Shame how so many plots on this show centre around man-rods. Leonardo does not warn Lorenzo about Lucrezia or the assassins because he is an atavistic fool and an implicitly awful tool. Riario and Pazzi face pull at the vicissitudes of fate. Easter Mass is to be the death of all the Medicis. A quadruple agent plots. Riario is an exponent of war.

Lucrezia is a liar, thief, poisoner, whore and murderer and is utterly unapologetic. She is hysterical with vacillation. I don’t care about this show and its depiction of the jerkish Leonardo and his swathe of foul acts. The identity of the prisoner is revealed revealing Sixtus IV’s big secret and Riario and Lucrezia’s blood ties. 1x01 had an assassination in a church and now events come full circle. There is excessive swearing, overuse of a crimping iron and the Pazzi conspiracy erupts. Lucrezia needs killing, sadly she does not die.

Blood, swords, fighting and murderous priests are on show in the church. Clarice’s brother abandons her and her three daughters to be murdered, Giuliano is stabbed a lot and Riario shows up to slightly offset things with an RPG. In 1478. Lucrezia’s betrayal is revealed, Lorenzo is wounded and Leonardo shows up to annoy. There is yelling, Lorenzo finds out about Leonardo’s betrayal and vengeance is promised. It ends on a cliffhanger and I’m done.

Best Lines:
“I see grim tidings.”

“The dead will be the lucky ones.”

“The choice and the consequences are yours.”

“Piss into this.”

“You’re not with worms girl.”

“Let the politicians kill each other! It’s their forte.”

“Death to the Medicis!”

“Die Medici scum!”

“Your line will live on.”

“I will kill you both.”

“God’s vengeance is upon you!”

Retro Review: Journeyman (2007)

This cancelled time travel drama was about Dan Vasser (Kevin McKidd of ‘Dog Soldiers’), his ex Livia, his wife Katie and his foul brother Jack.

1x01 Love of a Lifetime
Former gambling addict Dan starts time travelling. It is never explained how he and Katie afford their San Francisco mansion. This was okay but Dan’s estranged brother Jack (Reed Diamond of ‘Dollhouse’) is an awful person.

1x02 Friendly Skies
A trip away for Dan and Katie goes awry when Dan time travels onto another plane mid flight. The source of Jack’s resentment against Dan is revealed, Jack dated Katie first.

1x03 Game Three
Dan travels back to 1989 and sees his old self, Livia, Katie and Jack on a date. Oblique.

1x04 The Year of the Rabbit
Jack stalks his brother and sister in law. Dull.

1x05 The Legend of Dylan McCleen
Dan runs into his long lost father in the past and ends up with the loot stolen by an infamous thief. A lot of plot is set up here. Okay.

1x06 Keepers
Dan time travels back to help two brothers in a really unsubtle parallel of himself and Jack. Whilst in the past Dan overhears an important conversation between Katie and Jack. Meanwhile Jack and his cheese grater personality ups his stalking. Good.

1x07 Double Down
Livia is also a time traveller and she saves Dan’s future. Jack storms into Dan and Katie’s house and threatens to have their son taken away. Jack is an unsympathetic, aggressive, jealous prat. Good.

1x08 Winterland
Katie learns something intriguing about Livia, she is from 1948. Dan and Jack have it out and Dan orders Jack out of his house and life. Very good.

1x09 Emily
Dan tracks a serial killer. Jack’s gal pal (Lisa Sheridan of ‘Invasion’) tells him to have Dan locked up and poisons him against Dan. Good.

1x10 Blowback
The serial killer breaks out of jail, shoots Dan and menaces Katie. Livia confronts Jack which shocks him as she was declared dead in a plane crash prior to 1x01. People are hunting the time travellers. Good.

1x11 Home by Another Way
Dan has to save his newspaper from layoffs. Good luck with that pal. Livia’s life in 1948 is explored. Jack’s gal pal Theresa tells him she is pregnant and she manipulates him some more. Dan and Jack’s mom hates Katie. Dull.

1x12 The Hanged Man
During a time travel jaunt to 1981, Dan loses a digital camera. History changes. Dan and Katie’s son no longer exists. Dan and Livia try to fix things. A psychic freaks, a comet is mentioned and Jack stops being a lardy fascist and helps his brother. Good.

1x13 Perfidia
The final ever ep. Dan meets another time traveller. Jack wants answers. Livia goes back to 1948. Theresa has trapped Jack with the baby and she is a mole for the bad people. Good.