April 4th, 2014


Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Quiet Ones’ TV spot
In 1974 scientists mess up. Please let this be good.

‘Ex On The Beach’ promo
ANOTHER trashy reality show?

‘XIII’ promo
Frak no.

‘State of Play’ TV spot
I’ve no idea what this movie is about.

On ‘Hollyoaks’, Sinead has a nervous breakdown after Katy’s death and her family’s utter abandonment of her. Even Tony the most boring man in Chester thinks Sinead poisoned Katy. Lindsey redefines the expression vile bitch as she exploits Katy’s death to get Freddie as she has wanted all along, I hope her uterus shrivels. Joe wakes up; Sandy is stupid and only Ste comforts Sinead. Peri and Tom are rat brats. No-one connects Katy’s death to the drug raid. Ste finally gets Sonny to do his job. Grace and Trevor are unsavoury. Freddie and Lindsey are irredeemable trash as they screw in Sinead's bed after celebrating Sinead being catatonic in the psych ward. Peri tells her mother about seeing Danny and John-Paul so Sam tells John-Paul that he deserves to be in jail, accuses him of lying about the rape and wants nothing more to do with him. Sam decides to keep her family together, for now.

‘Kim Philby - His Most Intimate Betrayal’ Quote:
“Drunken, unhinged, knicker-shredding.”

‘Pandemonium’ Quote:
“Polonium in his toothpaste.”

‘The Adventure of the Creeping Man’ Quote:
“Watson. Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come all the same.”

‘Gone Girl’ Quotes:
“It was practically, all I wanted right then: a woman to fix me a sandwich and not ask me any questions.”

“Groomed himself like a horny baboon for their dates.”

“Today, be nice to me.”

“That was a lie. Amy cared so little for Stucks or his refreshment that she wouldn’t have bothered to piss in a cup for him.”

“She appeared on our doorstep with a welcome-home egg scramble and a family pack of toilet paper (which didn’t speak well for the egg scramble).”

“Sir, I warned you once, do not take that tone with me.”

“You are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists.”

“Jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang.”

“I bet dudes hate him: He looks like the rich-boy villain in an ‘80s teen movie.”

“Three morbidly obese hill people on motorized scooters are between me and my morning coffee.”

“We had no clue that we were embarking on careers that would vanish within a decade.”

“He truly seemed astonished when I asked him to listen to me.”
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Movie Review: In Time

In Time (2012)
The money empathy gap has risen to a whole new level in this film. Humanity has been genetically modified to stop aging at 25, after that you live for another year and after that you have to buy or earn time to keep on living. The time rich are mean in this openly rigged society where no-one shows any concern for the time poor people who stand no chance and live in a state of constant self-monitoring.

The low income punk ass bitch Will Salas (Justin Timberlake) and his buddy (Johnny Galecki) work in a factory, then a troubled time rich dude (Matt Bomer of ‘White Collar’ and ‘Traveler’) shows up. He mutters about immortality being boring, gifts Will his century of life and times out (aka dies) on a bridge. This gets Will in a lot of trouble as a greasy evil poor dude (Alex Pettyfer of ‘Tormented’) wants his time.

Will is shook out of his resignation to this unfair dystopia when his mother times out. Will finds it incumbent to protest after first doing some hysterically badly acted mourning. Timberlake’s acting hasn’t improved since ‘Alpha Dog’. Will leaves his time zone and heads off to see how the 1% live. A timekeeper (aka cop) is after Will and his scrub turkey face. Will is stared at by rich girl Sylvia (Amanda Seyfried). Will takes umbrage at her and her Methuselah daddy (Vincent Kartheiser - ‘Angel’).

Guns are waved, time is stolen, Will takes the whiny Sylvia hostage and teaches her about wider responsibility. The timekeeper (Cillian Murphy - ‘Batman Begins’) keeps falling over vigorously. Will and Sylvia are Bonnie and Clyde as the intensifying plot illogic makes you long for this to be over. People die including the greasy evil poor dude and his offensive sexism. This was a monument to mediocrity.

Best Lines:
“Everyone can’t live forever, where would we put them?”

“Follow the time.”

“That’ll be eight and a half weeks.”

“Fifty-nine years plus tax.”

“I’m still walking around, judging by the lack of dead bodies, I have to assume they are also.”

“How does anyone live like this?”
“You don’t generally sleep in”

“For a few to be immortal, many must die.

“You can run.”
“So can you.”

Arrow 2x16 + Covert Affairs 3x13&3x14 Reviewed

Suicide Squad
Oliver calls on his Bratva connections to find Slade. Oliver is appalling and he and Sara have no shame. It is not clear how Sara has explained her return to the wider community. Oliver vows to kill Slade, being non-hostile does not occur to him. Diggle has flashbacks to Afghanistan as he is told by Amanda Waller to go on a mission to retrieve a nerve agent. Diggle and his team Task Force X aka the Suicide Squad head out. Diggle has to work with Deadshot, Shrapnel and Bronze Tiger. Harley Quinn lurks unseen in the background.

Laurel’s obsequiousness is still present. It seems Slade went back to Craphole Island to get the scary mask seen in 1x01. Shrapnel is not down with ARGUS shenanigans. Diggle grimaces. Shrapnel is wasted some more. Oliver’s methodology makes him shout and his aggressive, insulting tone is interminable. Unhelpful steps Ollie! There is Windows 8 product placement. Diggle has a rupture of trust. Laurel is in AA and yet hangs out in a bar with Sara the wayward hussy.

Where are Isabel and Brother Blood? Where did Slade get the home videos of Shado? Bronze Tiger kills people, Deadshot and Diggle bond and Waller calls in a drone strike. Oliver is miserably dissatisfied and choice-blighted in the light of Slade’s full scale intimidation. Oliver deserves to be embattled. Waller mentions a mercenary named Deathstroke, oh that doesn’t sound good. This was good, I surprised how good given that TPTB wasted Sean Maher AGAIN.

Best Lines:
“I need to know where he sleeps.”

“It’s in the apocalypse in the form of a chemical weapon.”

“Who thought that was a good idea?”

“Please stop giving him books.”

“OJ and Charles Manson weren’t available?”

“Best thing I can for her life? Not be in it.”

“You’re alive because Shado isn’t.”

“Did I mention the sex-trafficking?”

“How contempory.”

“We’ll be putting the implants in their spinal vertebrae now.”

Man In The Middle
Joan and Seth continue their emotional adultery over her relapse; Joan continues to make you despise her. Parker returns and is sent packing. Annie wants to get an untouchable terrorist and goes to Arthur in a pre-emptive strike to one up Joan. Arthur is distracted by insisting on the truth from the self-flagellating Joan and her Paris Hilton style doll hair. This show has yet to address Edward Snowden, PRISM and enhanced interrogation. Also where did Ben and Liza go?

Annie still wears Simon’s key. Annie and Joan rekindle and reiterate their feud. Annie bullies the terrorist’s girlfriend. Arthur plans a drone strike as he and Joan’s marital issues bore. The show deteriorates some more in this mis-step of an ep. I’ve no sympathy left for Annie. She and Joan finally have it out over the crap Joan concocts and the froideur she provokes. Joan is a ghastly, arrogant, neurotic, negligent, callous mass of grievances. Arthur moves out. This show needs revitalising as there is no complicity, contradictions or menace present. Annie has all the confidence and charisma of a compost heap.

Best Lines:
“I’ve passed that door a hundred times.”
“And now you get to open it.”

“I’m done, I’m done.”

Scary Monsters (and super creeps)
Annie stomps around sulking about how Eyal played her over the drone strike. Joan hates on Annie. The terrorist’s galpal runs off. People walk around, not talking but indulging in exhortations. Annie is told that Eyal has gone rogue and he’s been fired. Auggie bores, Eyal annoys and maligns. Joan finally admits how she has messed up at the DPD. Henry Wilcox pulls a fast one, off screen. Eyal is out in the cold, but Annie will never know the truth. Since the Simon Fischer arc finished, this season’s assiduously simplified inanity is lamentable. Eyal and Annie’s friendship is patently broken and it is all for nothing, shame I don’t care.