March 18th, 2014

Scary Books

The Musketeers 1x08 Reviewed

The Challenge
Labarge (Vinne Jones) is a very dangerous man over whom the Cardinal’s Guards and Musketeers fight. This leads to a contest to prove which troop is better. The Musketeers are idiots, Treville annoys and this show deteriorates every week. Constance and d’Artagnan are transparent; he picks quarrels and provokes troubles as he learns he has lost his farm to Labarge. Aramis and Porthos plan to swindle a rich widow. The quartet aren’t noble, they work very hard at whining and being toxic.

D’Artagnan yells at the Cardinal, do TPTB care at all? This show just shows up and doesn’t make an effort. The Cardinal hires Constance’s not so stupid husband. Various characters sweat and grunt. Non-messiah d’Artagnan picks a fight, the podgy Milady stalks Athos and there are endless fights. Constance is pathetic, d’Artagnan is a fool, Constance’s husband menaces after being provoked, Athos lickarses d’Artagnan, the Gascon moron is the Lana Lang of this show. He also finally is made a Musketeer. This ep sucked hard.

Best Lines:
“Musketeer scum!”

“I went to Gascony once; it’s full of sheep and hedges.”

“A pig wouldn’t eat that.”

“You’ll be needing a rich mistress now.”

“I do everything for you.”
“Permit me to doubt that.”

“I’m sure he was a visionary among drapers.”

“Any clandestine female companions?”

“You burned down my farm.”
“Uh, I’ve burned down a lot of farms.”

“I’m going to enjoy this.”
“Somehow I doubt it.”

“You look even more pathetic in the daylight.”
Scary Books

Doc Savage #2 & #3 + Ghost #2 Reviewed

The Man Of Bronze Doc Savage #2
It is the 1940s and Doc Savage is useless, his cousin Patricia Savage lurks with non-1940s hair. Doc Savage has a crime college, where criminals are brainwashed to be good. Doc has a Helldiver but not a working brain. Doc Savage is a creepy fascist with a roided body and he is working on a secret thing. This was terrible. Why should I care about the bleating Doc Savage?

Best Line:
“At last I will be vindicated, and never more will --.”

The Man Of Bronze Doc Savage #3
It is 1961 and Doc Savage unveils his immortality serum. He has more idiot followers, some of whom he gets killed because he’s an arrogant idiot. This was crap and I’m done with it.

Best Line:
“It’s all gone. All of it.”

Ghost #2
What are the demons planning? The Ghost in bed sheets wants to know. A serial killer with a pillowcase over his head lurks. There is gore and yelling and people in peril. This was boring and I don’t care about the cultural invasion of demons.

Best Line:
“Calling it “hell” is being generous.”

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Borderlands’ (2013) trailer
This UK found footage horror about two annoying types who investigate a church looks good.

Best Line:
“Agreeable local bumpkin type.”

‘The Musketeers’ 1x09 promo

‘Noah’ TV spot
Oh Russell Crowe, oh no.

I made more guacamole, yum.
Hazelnut milk chocolate = yummy.

Adrian Pasdar will be on ‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D’, well that’s nice.

The ‘Lost’ TPTB are explaining the finale again, oh give it up.

I got the two disc ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ DVD. I watched the good ‘Making Of’ documentary in which ‘Peeta’ complained about the “weird futuristic spandex suits”. The Avenue of the Tributes scene was filmed in a parking lot with green screen, impressive.

The other member of the ‘Two Fat Ladies’ has died.

‘The Plantagenets’ Quote:
“From the devil we came and to the devil we will go.”

‘Savages’ Quotes:
“Annie had once bought a self-help book called How To Make Time! But after two months, she still hadn’t found the time to read it, then the Labrador ate it.”

“Well, if you had that sort of problem in Pittsburgh in 1952, you got married.”

“Certain subjects, ranging from Commies to Gay Lib to bad school marks, were certain to cause a rage.”

“She had an endless wardrobe of shapeless silk muu-muus from Hawaii.”

“Sometimes Carey could see why Ed’s first wife had left him.”

“One moment she’d been married to a football quarterback, the envy of all, and the next thing he was wearing saffron robes and chanting ohm at five in the morning. The entire dorm had complained.”

“Mom, how can we hear what’s going on if you keep talking?”

“That corn-fed tub of lard she’d married didn’t ski.”

“Everyone said how charming and helpful the natives were and they burned down the hotel the day after we left.”

“You sure it’s safe here, Charley? Have you seen the fence? We’re in a luxury concentration camp. Why?”

‘Body of Proof’ Quotes:
“Don’t think I don’t watch ‘Doomsday Prep Wars’ on the Spike Channel.”

“Yelling something about flying rats.”

‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ Quotes:
“One day I’m going to volunteer just like you did.”

“You should imagine thousands upon thousands of your people dead. This town of yours reduced to ashes. Imagine it gone. Made radioactive. Buried under dirt as if it had never existed, like District 13.”

‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’ (book) Quotes:
Kids in costumes are silly, but ageing victors, it turns out, are pitiful. A few who are on the younger side, like Johanna and Finnick, or whose bodies haven’t fallen into disrepair like Seeder and Brutus, can still manage to maintain a little dignity. But the majority who are in the clutches of drink or morphling or illness, look grotesque in their costumes depicting cows and trees and loaves of bread.”

“No one in this arena was a victor by chance.”

“At least in the Hunger Games, I knew I was being played with.”