February 27th, 2014

Scary Books

Trailers, Quotes and Stuff

‘The Following’ 2x07 promo
Joe and Emma can’t control the new cult. Interesting.

‘Heroes Reborn’ trailer
A 13 ep miniseries of random plot incoherence in 2015. No!

‘The Blacklist’ 1x11 promo

‘Big Tips Texas’ opening credits
Trash about catty ass bitches.

Seville orange marmalade = nice.
Drinking Chocolate = okay.
Butterscotch Angel Delight = not so nice.

I am reading ‘Indexing’.

‘Indexing’ Quote:
“My day began with half a dozen bluebirds beating themselves to death against my window.”

‘Two and A Half Man’ Quotes:
“A hot chick carrying a bag of drugs.”

“I’ve fallen for you and I can’t give up.”

“There isn’t enough alcohol in the world.”

“Dead, dead, coma, Florida.”

“We’re not gay!”

CSI: NY’ Quotes:
“Brooks has no known friends or associates, which doesn’t shock me having met the man.”

“Cher had a workout video?”

‘Breaking Bad’ Quote:
“I liked it.”

The Mindy Project’ Quote:
“The original internet: magazines.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Dodger is a jackass. Sandy is a moron. Patrick fires John-Paul. Finn menaces Robbie and acts like a freak. Sinead is judged by Lindsey and Diane. Fraser menaces Patrick. Katy is failing to thrive so police and a social worker storm in and take Katy into care. Sinead blubbers incoherently on the kitchen floor. John-Paul is not listened to. Robbie apologises to him. Finn stands around staring like the killer in a slasher movie. Patrick manipulates Maxine. Sienna gets bail. Diane is given custody of Katy. Patrick does Kubrick stares. Diane threatens to call the police on Sinead. Darren and Nancy reunite. Nobody cares about Will, where is he?

Best Lines:
“You gonna tell me why you lamped that waste of space?”

“You deserved everything you got; you know that you little rat?”

“With a face like that I don’t want the Judge to think we’re nothing but a family full of thugs.”

“Do you know how much I hate you?”

Murder in Texas part 1 + Elementary 2x11 + Revenge 3x10 + Falling Skies 2x03&2x04 Reviewed

Murder In Texas (1981) part 1
This miniseries tells the tale of a bizarre series of events that happened in Texas in the 60s and 70s involving an alleged murder, accusations of poison, grave exhumation and a hitman. A sleazy cheating plastic surgeon John Hill (Sam Elliott) is married to the heiress Joan Robinson Hill (Farrah Fawcett) but he has a mistress Ann (Katharine Ross). Their social scene is all good old boys, big hats, horses, horned cows and ugly clothes. The cheating cad John has three piece suits and buried man-anger, Ann has big hair, John plays 8 track tapes and is creepy. This was dull; this miniseries is based on a book by Ann so the perspective is probably seriously skewed.

Internal Audit
Bell is back at work as a few weeks have passed since 2x10. Holmes is a smug git and thinks Bell getting shot is “utterly irrelevant”. A con artist is murdered and Gregson lets Holmes away with all his crap. The con artist’s personal chef is a former client of Joan’s which causes plot complications. Why does Joan trust Holmes? Everyone has flat effect and are sacrificed on the altar of dignity for Holmes. Holmes is told to become a sponsor. The plot was a mess of money laundering, a fake art gallery and embezzling. This was piss poor, I’m tired of selfish Holmes going on about his work, he and Joan are execrable human beings.

Best Lines:
“As bad decisions go, he’s right up there with heroin.”

“A generation lost to narcissism.”

“That was his way of saying criminal.”

“It’s not about you.”

“A shoddily executed lie.”

Patrick’s back, Sara lurks, Victoria annoys and Emily’s ridiculous plan to fake her murder goes utterly awry. That’s what happens when you rob your fake murder plot from a Christopher Pike novel. Jack wails, Lydia throws wrenches and Emily’s wedding dress and veil are hideous. The wedding takes place, the cake is nice, the French chick looms, Patrick finds Nolan’s secret safe and Sara whines. Daniel looks disgusted with his new wife, Sara attention seeks and a lot of people are onto Emily now. Emily gets shot by the no longer beguiled Daniel. This was terrible: Emily’s plan was ridiculous and Emily is a ludicrous vindictive harpy now.

Best Lines:
“When Conrad reaches out, beware of what’s in his hand.”

“You use everyone who cares about you.”

“There’s nothing honest about you.”

“Don’t make an enemy of me.”

“You don’t look happy, you look trapped.”

“Vacationing with your harlot is where I draw the line.”

“I’d wash the sheets first.”

Pope and his gang jump the “alien stooge” Tom. Ben and Jimmy patrol. Pope calls Ben a lizard. Weaver wants to kick Pope to the curb. Tom is billy-no-mates. Ben’s spikes glow. Jimmy dies. A plane lands and the pilot give news of a new government in the new capitol of Charleston. They have contact with other parts of the world. Tom and Pope have a fist fight, Tom wins. The lame loser sewer rat Pope and his discreditable conduct has a point. This was okay.

Best Line:
“If we’re resting, we’re not resisting.”

“I don’t know what your alien friends did to you but I for one do not want to find out.”

“You’d be surprised how many people back at camp are creeped out over your triumphant return. Not so many people will miss you as you might think. So do us a favour. Start walking.”

“Tom Mason, saviour of the 2nd Mass.”

“They killed everyone, I need a reason?”

“You want out? There’s the door.”

“Take a shower.”
“Yeah, with your momma.”

Young Bloods
Matt plays bait in a skitter hunt. Lourdes has barely featured so far this reason. Anne and Tom rub their no doubt lice infested bodies against one another. Tom shouts. Ben and the annoying Hal run into a group of annoying kids and Weaver’s daughter is one of them. A football with a skitter head drawn on it is kicked around. Weaver tries to bond with his daughter but she is more interested in her boyfriend; the gang’s cynical and pathetic leader Diego. The tramp calls Weaver an angry control freak, he still saves her from a harness factory and as thanks the tramp hops on Diego’s bike and rides off to no doubt certain death. This not good episode is capped by a musical montage.

Best Lines:
“It wasn’t smart.”
“Well, neither was getting onto an alien spaceship, Dad.”